by Clark, Kaisa
“Just okay?” he asks, eyes widening in mock surprise, his face bright with a smile.
One glimpse of that smile and I know that any time spent alone with Adam will be anything other than just okay.
Chapter 7
He knocks at my door around nine o’clock that evening, two short taps, each one feeling electric and charged. A thrill runs through my whole body, knowing he’s right outside my door.
“You ready?” he asks when I pull the door open. He’s slowly twirling his car keys around his index finger, looking completely relaxed in khaki shorts and a pale blue polo, the color perfectly contrasting with his dark eyes.
I nod even though I have no idea what I’m ready for.
“So, Alexa, where are we going?” he asks as we make our way down the stairs to his car.
“I don’t know, Adam. Where are you taking me?”
He climbs in the car and reaches to plug in his iPhone. “You hungry or anything? This is kind of a weird time for dinner.”
His eyes meet mine over the console and I can’t tell what I see there. The way he’s acting so nonchalant about this makes me feel all the more certain this is a purely friendly get-together. Maybe it’s like Annabelle says: he just hates being alone.
“I’m up for whatever,” I say brightly, curious to see what he’ll do next.
“Well we’ll see where the road takes us.” His fingers press the screen of his phone and a playlist comes on the speakers. Eager to distract myself from the is this a date or isn’t it debate raging in my head, I pick up his phone and start scrolling through the playlist.
“You’re into Jack Johnson?” I ask, angling my body toward his.
“Yeah, I’m actually going to his concert right before schools starts. I’ve seen him once before. Still the best show I’ve ever seen.” He pauses and his eyes flick to mine, fervently alight. “Well aside from that show you put on today rolling silverware.”
His delivery takes me by surprise and laughter bursts from my mouth. I try to pull myself together, sighing out an “oh my goodness” as I recover.
He chuckles and his eyes flash to mine. “I love how you follow hysterical laughter with an oh my goodness like it’s your way of maintaining your lady-like composure. You’re so incredibly proper.”
This makes me laugh even harder. “I honestly had never even noticed it. Thanks a lot!” I say, pushing his shoulder gently.
“Hey, I’ve got precious cargo here, Clausen. Watch the wheel.”
He sneaks a glance at me from the corner of his eyes and gives me a half-smile that’s the perfect blend of ornery and sweet. Any reservations I might’ve had about things being different when it’s just the two of us alone are instantly assuaged. It’s exactly like it always is with Adam: completely easy, completely natural. I honestly think I could be with him anywhere, in any situation, and we’d still manage to have the best time together.
As we drive, Adam and I entertain each other with random conversation. Outside of our friendly banter at the restaurant, I really don’t know much about him and am hungry for any new detail. I listen intently, feeling like I’ll never get enough as he enlivens me with stories about his high school days at Milano’s when he and Damien were lowly busboys. I laugh when he describes a time they absconded with a massive display bottle of red wine, which they proceeded to use to play power hour with in Damien’s bedroom.
“You played power hour with a bottle of wine?” I ask, incredulous. “How many shots did you make it through?”
“Not many…” He grimaces. “Worst. Idea. Ever. I ended up kicking the screen out of his bedroom window and puking red wine all over the side of his house. Luckily it was raining so it didn’t stain or that would’ve been challenging to explain.” He’s laughing animatedly now, that deep throaty sound I’ve come to love so much. It’s music to my ears.
“That sounds remarkably like the time Annabelle and I drank Red Bull and vodka to stay awake after finals. Also the worst idea ever. We tried to make it over to Javier’s apartment for a party but she toppled us both down my stairs. I swear I almost broke my arm again.”
He chuckles at the image then raises his eyebrows quizzically. “Again? What happened the first time?”
“I was this budding gymnast in grade school. I thought I was pretty hot stuff, and my brother of course didn’t, so I climbed up on our basement coffee table to show him what’s up. I went to flip off the end, only my hand slipped off the edge of the table when I kicked my legs up over my head and I came crashing down on my arm.”
I hold it up at a cockeyed angle to demonstrate the break near my wrist. “Freaking older brothers.”
“Believe it or not, us older brothers feel bad about that stuff. Damien and I used to give my little brother a hard time about not being able to catch when he started playing baseball. One day we found him on the couch in our basement, which was right beside the stairs, and Damien got this brilliant idea to toss our little Bichon over the side, yelling ‘Catch this.’ The dog was absolutely terrified and when she fell she dug her claws into his chest so hard my mom had to take him to get stiches. I still feel horrible about that one.”
He grows quiet and a subtle look of alarm creeps over his face. It seems odd given the story he told me. I quickly look out the windshield to see if he might’ve seen something on the road, but it’s empty.
“I didn’t know you have a brother,” I say in disbelief, turning back to him. I find it hard to imagine two Westbrook boys wandering this world, disarming unsuspecting women with their charm.
He nods once and I can just make out the word “Isaac.” His voice is barely audible, his face completely slack. Then an instant later the look is gone and he’s changing the subject. “So tell me more about gymnastics. You must be pretty flexible, huh?” He glances over at me, his eyes brimming with mischief and intrigue. The look is so alluring I have no choice but to indulge him.
Suddenly flashing lights flood the night air, bright red and blue illumination swirling behind us. As I turn to gaze out the back window I realize we’ve made it all the way to some small town far from the city lights. I’ve been so wrapped up in the sound of Adam’s voice, I never even noticed us leaving.
“Well shit,” Adam mumbles as he eases the car over to the side of the road. “Can you hand me my insurance card?” He gestures toward the glove box.
I pull out the card as a policeman saunters up to his window.
“I need to see your license,” he says in a booming voice, shining the beam of a flashlight into the car. He’s an older man, graying, with a rotund belly protruding over his belt buckle.
Adam hands over the insurance card and shifts to retrieve his wallet from his back pocket. His shirt tugs up slightly, revealing tanned skin and the waistband of his boxers. I quickly look out the window because ogling him in front of a cop seems mildly inappropriate.
The policeman peers into the car, looking from Adam to me. “Where are you two headed?”
“We’re just driving.”
The policeman nods once. “Is that your girlfriend?”
My stomach lurches at the question but Adam doesn’t miss a beat responding.
“No, she’s my wife,” he deadpans.
“What do you have there?” the policeman asks, flashing the beam of light on Adam’s iPhone, which is cradled on the dash. “Is that a radar detector?”
Adam tries to keep a straight face as he slowly says, “That would be my phone.”
“I guess it wouldn’t be a radar detector because I caught you speeding. Also, you didn’t come to a complete stop at that stop sign a while back. Around here we come to complete stops.” The officer hands back his license and writes up a ticket.
Adam rolls up his window as the officer returns to his car. His eyes slowly shift to my face and he waves the ticket in my direction. “See what you did, Clausen? I blame you for this! You‘re so distracting.”
I hope with everything in me he means that in a good way.
He reaches to poke me with the ticket then tucks it behind his sun visor before pulling back onto the road. “You know I’ve never actually gotten a ticket before?”
“In this thing?” I ask skeptically.
“I didn’t say I don’t drive fast. I said I’ve never been caught.” His eyes are sparkling when they flick to mine.
“Sounds like you should really pay better attention to the road.”
“Should I just let you out here then?” He pretends to pull the car back over and I’m relieved this run-in with the law didn’t put a damper on our night together.
We finally pull into my apartment complex well after midnight and he parks his car near the steps to my door. Now that we’re back, the anticipation is coursing through me. My head is trying to once again balance out whether this was more of a first date or two friends hanging out.
He switches off the car and turns to look at me. The corners of his mouth are turned up into the faintest hint of a smile. Our elbows are barely touching on the center console, the heat from his body radiating through mine. I don't dare move for fear his arm will pull away. My breathing quickens and I tell myself, get a grip Alexa, it’s a freaking elbow.
He shifts slightly in his seat, the leather creaking as his body turns towards mine. As he rotates, his arm pulls away, leaving my skin aching in its wake and me wanting nothing more than for him to put it back. I stare up into those deep brown eyes for what feels like forever, trying to read his expression, wondering what this is to him.
“So, Alexa,” he says slowly, leaning in a little closer. I swallow hard. His face is inches from mine now.
“Adam...”
He lets out a slight chuckle, never taking his eyes off mine. “Thanks for taking a drive with me.” His face breaks into a wide smile as he says it, as if we’d simply driven around the block rather than spending the last several hours completely engrossed in one another’s company.
I meet his gaze, waiting to see what he’ll do next, knowing I don’t have it in me to make the first move. I can feel my pulse throbbing in my fingertips, feel it booming in my eardrums. Adam is sitting perfectly still, just watching me, a hint of a smile still echoing on his lips. Weighted seconds tick by in his silent car. I’m worried he’ll think it’s weird if I don’t get out soon, so I grin and say brightly, “Look out for stop signs on your way home,” before climbing out the door.
Chapter 8
I have the next day off from work. I stay in bed until mid-afternoon thinking about Adam, trying desperately to fall back to sleep on the off chance I might dream of him. I replay every moment from our drive, relishing his sideways glances, his easy laugh, the little tidbits of his life he shared with me. I scan back through our conversations, trying to file our interactions into the friend versus date category, but it’s no use. I still have no idea what we’re doing. I finally drag myself from the bed out of sheer necessity for food, then meet Javier at the pool to lounge the rest of the afternoon away.
I get back to my apartment late that evening, feeling antsy. I’m about to text Annabelle for a couch session when my phone rings. I don’t recognize the number and my stomach instantly folds in on itself somehow knowing who it is. Could this mean he’s ready for another round of is this a date or are we just friends?
Adam’s voice is deeper on the phone, and when he asks if I want to go for a drive, I can’t tell him yes fast enough. Exactly twenty minutes later there are two swift taps at my door. When I pull it open he’s leaning up against the doorframe, looking every bit his usual carefree self, like he knows exactly what this thing between us is and I’m the only one in the dark.
His face breaks into a wide grin and he asks, “Think we can get by without a speeding ticket tonight?”
Just like last night the conversation comes easy. As he meanders along the streets I find myself trying to explain to him my love for grizzly bears, which he thinks is preposterous.
“I'm serious!” I say with a lilt in my voice. “Bears just have a bad rep.”
“They’re man-eating beasts.” He’s trying to keep a straight face as he says the words, but a smile creeps through, detracting from his conviction.
“Nah, I don't buy it. They just love to cuddle and don't know their own strength.” I angle my body towards his and smile over at him as he ponders this a moment.
“Alexa, I’m inclined to believe you because you can be highly convincing.” He chuckles as he says the words. “Except I know for a fact there’s a documentary about a guy who shared your beliefs. He goes to live with some bears to show how nice they are and you know what happens to him? The bears eat him. They freaking eat him!”
“Have you seen it?”
He shakes his head.
“Well there's probably more to the story then, like he was poking them with sticks or stealing their salmon or something.”
He laughs at my rationale. “Okay, we’re watching this thing. I'm getting a copy and bringing it to your apartment and we’re watching it. You and me.”
“So you're telling me you want to see a guy get eaten by bears? That’s so gruesome, Adam. I didn’t know you had this side to you.”
“Hell no. I want you to see a guy get eaten by bears.”
“Fine. I’ll watch it, only because I think there’s more to the story than you’re telling me.”
“I’m not one to embellish stories,” he chuckles, glancing over at me from the driver’s side.
“Never! Tell me again how you got that light spot on the back of your head.”
His lips curl into an ornery grin. “I told you. I got struck by lightning.”
“Uh-huh, right… The lucky strike.”
He caves, his expression relaxing into a sheepish grin. “You’ve got me. It’s a birthmark. But I’m telling the truth about the bears. You’ll see.”
“It’s not my usual movie choice, but for you I will.”
“Awww, for me?” His eyes flick over to mine before returning to the road in front of us. “So if watching people get eaten by bears isn’t your type of movie, what is?”
I lean towards him, resting my elbows on the console between us and propping my head on my hands. I swear I could look at him forever. I could talk to him forever.
“I don’t know if I have a type, just not that.”
“Well if you had to pick a favorite what would it be?”
I don’t miss a beat. “Good Will Hunting.”
“Good Will Hunting?” He bursts out laughing. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh I assure you I am. It’s got it all. Math: check. Love: check. Quotable lines: double check. I know every word of that movie.”
He reaches a hand over and presses his palm to mine, catching me completely off guard.
“How do you like them apples?” he says resolutely. To my disappointment he pulls his hand back after he delivers the line, replacing it on the wheel. My palm throbs with yearning, my fingertips craving his touch. “That’s all I know,” he adds.
“It’s a start! So what about you? What’s your favorite, Mr. Movie Critic?”
“LOTR,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“LOTR? You really are a nerd!” I’m genuinely surprised this self-assured party boy would own up to liking Lord of the Rings. I figured it would be Animal House or The Hangover or something.
“Loud and proud.” He taps his palm against the center of his steering wheel, the horn blaring out.
He glances over to find me eyeing him intently. “They’re really good movies, Lex.” He’s grinning like a schoolboy now.
We’re nearing the entrance to my apartment and he hasn’t started decelerating so I jokingly point it out, saying, “Uh, you’ll want to turn here.”
He smirks at me over the console. “Thanks, Magellan.”
I grin back at him. “Well
I’d hate for you to miss it. We might end up driving for hours in the other direction before we turn back around, you know, with how distracting I can be.”
“I do run that risk whenever you’re around.” Smiling eyes briefly flick to mine before he makes the turn. The way he says it makes me believe that maybe he’s not kidding.
This time when he parks the car, he moves to open the driver’s side door. “Mind if I use your bathroom?”
Instantly I’m wondering what this means, but I try to maintain my composure as we start up the steps together. As soon as my door creeps open, Adam takes notice of the forty-gallon fish tank occupying the corner of my living room. He takes long strides towards it, kneeling on the plush, white carpet and sitting back on his heels to gaze up at it.
“My parents gave it to me when I moved out,” I murmur, kneeling down beside him. “They always had a huge one when I was little that I helped them take care of. It just kind of stuck. I think it’s really peaceful.”
He nods sedately. I watch as he stares into the aquarium, his eyes trailing over the brightly colored fish. He looks almost childlike as he stares up into the water, enthralled. After a minute, a ghost of a smile passes over his face.
“My uncle had one of these back when we were kids. I loved that thing. I’d completely forgotten about it.” He finally turns to me, his eyes bright with the memory, his voice low when he goes on. “You’re right. It’s incredibly calming.”
Adam returns his gaze to the aquarium. Aside from the light emanating from it, the apartment is completely dark. My eyes shift from the fish to his profile. As I watch him staring into the brightly lit tank I notice how long and thick his lashes are. They are gorgeous. He catches me looking and his eyes slowly sweep over my face, a warm smile on his lips.
Something about this moment, the quiet and the darkness and the proximity, just seems to resonate. Time practically stands still. All I can see are his dark brown eyes, deep and luminescent. His body shifts almost imperceptibly towards me, his palms reaching for the side of my face. I feel a hint of his breath, warm against my lips. It caresses my skin, floats over my body, leaving me perfectly content in its wake.