“You gonna tell me or do I have to tease it out of you? You know I’ll do it.”
I gulp. No. Not right now. I can’t take the teasing. But I also don’t want to tell him. Teasing will lead to sex and right now, I don’t need the sex. Right now, I just want to be left alone.
Nolan’s lips press against my chest before his head lifts to look into my eyes. His lips peck mine gently, delicately. I groan just as his tongue slides into my mouth. One of his hands cup around my ass as the other remains hoisted around my waist. He rubs between my legs, causing a friction that will soon drive me crazy. Sooner or later I’ll want what’s rubbing between my legs, inside of me.
The pleasure runs through me, coursing through my veins. “Natalie,” he breathes. “I meant what I said. All or nothing. Right?”
“Yeah but—”
“No buts,” he says, dropping me out of his arms in an instant. He pushes a hand through his hair before turning to flip the switch. The room illuminates with soft lighting but his eyes remain glued on mine. “Is it really that hard for you to open up to me?”
My face falls into a slant. It’s not that it’s hard to me, I just don’t want to. I don’t want to get too serious. Yes I meant all or nothing, but I didn’t mean every single thing about me. I swear I had myself covered up. How can he tell that something’s wrong?
“You’re transparent,” he mumbles. “I see right through you now. Even though I don’t know what you’re thinking, I can feel it. Is it about yesterday, at the beach? About your friend that I hit? If so, I’m sorry Natalie. I swear I won’t do it again. I was just—”
“No,” I say, cutting his sentence short. I step towards him until I am close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. “It’s not that.” I then cup a hand around his jawline. The hardness in his eyes softens and turns into shame.
“I seriously don’t know what to do with myself while I’m with you Natalie. I’m honestly trying my hardest not to fuck up.”
“You’re not fucking up! It’s not you.”
“Then what is it?” he asks through a ragged breath. “I swear I feel like it’s me sometimes. You won’t open up to me. How else am I supposed to know?”
“Okay.” I pull my hands away from him and square my shoulders. He’s right. I have to give something. I can’t continue to hide things from him. It will only turn him away from me . . . and right now, I need him. I need everything about him. “At the mall, I ran into someone that I wasn’t expecting to see . . .”
Nolan’s forehead creases but his eyes don’t drift from mine. I wait for him to say something but his face says enough. It’s telling me to continue. To keep going.
“It was my ex, Nolan.”
In almost an instant, he jerks away from me. “Did you do something with him?” he asks.
“No!” I shout as he takes a step back. “I fucking hate him. I saw him and I . . . I broke down.” My head shakes swiftly as the memories flood. The burning in my eyes forces me to tear my gaze away from his.
“Whoa—Natalie. What did he do to you?” he asks, taking a step towards me.
“He didn’t do anything. That’s the point. Seeing him was enough to hurt me again.”
Nolan pauses and an uncomfortable silence rings in my ears. I steal a peek at him but his eyes are hard on me, refusing to look anywhere else. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why is he down here?”
“He came down here . . . with Mark. The guy that you fought at the beach.”
A resemblance of midnight shades his irises. “You knew your ex was down here?”
“Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you. I was hoping to avoid him,” I plead.
“Natalie—” Nolan breaks off as his head turns to look out of the window. “How would you feel if I hid things from you? How would you feel if my ex was down here and I ran into her?”
“I don’t know—”
“You’d be pissed, right? You’d hate me and say that I’m a liar and a player because I didn’t tell you. You would blame me.” He steps in to cup my jawline. He strokes the flesh behind my ears while keeping my head tilted up so my eyes can’t look anywhere else but into his. “I want this,” he says against my lips. “I want it to work. But it can’t if you don’t open up to me. Let me in, Natalie. I swear I won’t break you.”
As my head shakes, my chest tightens. I force myself to bite my lip to prevent any of my tears from spilling. But I can’t help it. He’s causing them to pour out of me. I feel the warmth trickling against my cheeks but his lips move forward to stop them. He kisses my tears away then leans down to kiss my lips.
His hands stay firm around my face as his lips crush mine. I taste the saltiness of my tears but I feel the passion more. He really means it. He really wants this. To think that Nolan was only kidding in the beginning. By this kiss, I am completely fooled. He’s putting a ton of effort into this kiss. This one kiss alone, feels like a million. Perhaps more than that.
He pulls back and my eyes shut briefly. “Look at me, Natalie,” he breathes.
I shake my head. I can’t look at him. I seriously want to break down completely.
His smooth lips press against mine again and cause my eyelids to open slowly. I stare into the mystic grey of his. They’re soft, with an edge of steel. His thumb strokes the corner of my mouth as he smiles down at me. He finally pulls his hands away to pull me against him, allowing no space between us. “I’m not mad at you. I understand. I told you, I’m working with you, not against you. Just as you are working with me. I know you’ll open up one day and I promise I won’t rush it.”
I smile, pressing my ear against his chest to listen to his steady heartbeat. He kisses my hair sweetly as the warmness of his breath tickles me.
Somehow, I know that he means it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Alright, Nolan. You have to provide me with some kind of scoop,” I say before taking a bite of my soft cinnamon pretzel. “I haven’t gotten any details on you besides what you like to do and what you want to major in. Tell me about your family. Your brother.”
Nolan sighs with a half smirk while taking a sip of his lemonade through the straw. We begin to walk towards the sunset as the water ripples and the seagulls caw. A few boats and yachts are parked against the docks and a few men are turning in for the day. I stare out past the ripples of the water to take in the peace. The sun is sitting on the horizon as the sky blankets with a twist of gold and pink. There is a hint of orange behind the sun but all together it creates a collection of beauty. With the waves crashing, it almost seems like the water is made of dark, exotic crystals.
“How about this,” Nolan says. “I tell you a fact of my life, you tell me a fact of yours. We’ll make it a game.”
“Okay,” I nod, my mouth half-full with the sweet pretzel. “It’s only fair. I’ll bite.”
“Alright. Ask me a question and I’ll answer honestly.”
I ponder on it as we meet at the thick wooden rails. We stare ahead as the soft breeze brushes against us. “Where were you born?”
“San Francisco, California.”
“Oh wow,” I breathe. “What made you want to move all the way over here?”
He pauses as a smile hints at his lips. “I think it’s my turn for a question. One at a time, babe.”
My cheeks spark as I tear my gaze away.
“But if you really want an answer, I moved here to get away from everything . . . everyone. My mother made the wrong decision. She chose a man over her own kids. It’s completely fucked up on her behalf but my brother and I swore that if she chose him over us, we were moving to the other side of America. We took it to the extreme, considering that we’re now in Miami. We were pretty literal.”
I nod. “So you live with your brother here?”
“Yup.” Nolan’s eyes don’t shift from the body of water ahead. I really want him to go into more depth but I know that I’ll be pushing it. He probably doesn’t like to talk about it. “My turn,” he says, finally
looking at me. His eyes scan me as a small smile weaves its way to his lips. “What made you want to move to Miami?”
“I wanted to get away.”
“From?”
“My ex.” I pause. Although I did want to get away from Bryson, that isn’t the only reason why I decided to move here. “And from my parents.”
His gaze grows quizzical. “Why your parents?”
I sigh and just thinking about what they’re going through makes my heartbeat slow in progress. “I feel like the only reason that they were still together is because they didn’t want to disappoint me. I left because I wanted to see if things would change without me.”
“Did things change?” he asks.
“Yeah. For the worst.” My eyebrows stitch. “I haven’t heard from my dad in a few days. I take it as a sign that he’s finally giving up. I called my mom to see if she would provide any answers on what’s going on between them but she always rushes me off the phone. She never allows me enough time to ask. I know she’s busy but she can’t be that busy.”
“Oh.” Nolan’s lips seal. I know for sure that he doesn’t want to touch that subject. And neither do I. I can’t think about it right now. My only hope is that this situation between them is only temporary.
“So, my turn again.” I take a bite of my pretzel and swallow to block the dryness in my throat. “What are your biggest dreams?” I smile, hoping that he will lighten up on the mood with me.
Luckily, he does. Reaching to push a hand through his hair, he turns to face me while leaning his elbow on the railing to sturdy himself into a lean. “My biggest dreams?” he asks. “Well, one of them is to hopefully be noticed by a crowd. I don’t want to be famous. I just want to be known. I want to leave a mark in this world. I already travel a lot with my brother Mills so that wouldn’t be a big deal.” His eyes drift from mine to his pressed khaki’s. I study the way his features soften and while looking at him, I realize why his softened features seem so familiar. He’s a dream-chaser, just as I am. Just as my father is. He wants his dreams to come true.
“I can understand where you’re coming from,” I say. “I want the same thing. For my writing to be seen. Picked up and published, even.”
“That can’t happen if you don’t get yourself out there, Bunny. Open Mic is the perfect opportunity.”
“You’re one to talk.” I giggle, leaning in to punch his arm playfully. “You don’t sing for people but you want your dreams to come true. That’s nearly impossible. How else will people get to know you if they can’t hear you?”
His eyes drift as he thinks on it. “True,” he finally says as his lips press. “I’ve been thinking about singing the song that I wrote for you on one of the Open Mic nights. But we have to make a deal,” he inquires.
I lean against the wood rail as I cross my arms. “You’re full of deals. Let’s hear it.”
“At the next Open Mic session, I’ll sing the song, but only if you read one of your best poems.” His gaze grows serious but it can’t be as serious as mine is at the moment.
“I wasn’t planning on reading one of my poems so soon. That’s only three days away.”
“Three days to practice.”
Sighing, I push from the rail and begin to pace in front of him. I take my last bite of pretzel before tossing the wrapper into the trash bin. “I don’t know, Nolan. It’s nerve-racking to read in front of all of those people. What if they think I’m crazy? What if they don’t understand it?”
“A part of attending an Open Mic sessions is to have an open mind. Most people that go there plan to explore. They plan to go deeper and put themselves in one another’s shoes. I believe that every person that attends Open Mic sessions has a dream. Why else would they show up? It has to be a reason behind it.”
“Which is why you were so willing to go?”
“Yup,” he says then grins. He pushes from the wooden rail to make his way toward me. His hips swing in a manly way before he comes to a halt, stopping barely an inch away from me. Centered on the path of the entire boardwalk, he stares into my eyes. I stare back into his and somehow, I become lost.
“How about we share our dreams,” he murmurs against my lips. He reaches to press his fingers against the nape of my neck. My skin scorches from his touch alone. My hair is pinned up but a few strands blow with the gentle breeze. With my hair up, this only allows me to feel everything.
“How can we do that?”
“We’ll work together on it. I play a guitar, you read poems. I could play a melody to go along with each and every one of them—but only if you want to. It would be an easier way for me to hear what you’ve written.” Tilting my head back softly, his lips inch closer.
“But I still want you to sing,” I breathe.
He chuckles. “I will.” As he stares into my eyes for only a few moments, his lips finally find their way to mine and they clash. He doesn’t even hesitate to slip his tongue into my mouth. I savor the taste of him. The sweet and tangy mix of lemonade on his tongue. His fingers continue to press against the nape of my neck to pull me in closer. My fingers braid between the locks of hair at the nape of his neck. I pull him in closer as the heat thrashes. I just want to feel him. I want my senses to take in the way that he touches me. It’s so delicate, sweet, and memorable. I would never have suspected that he had hurt anyone. Nolan just doesn’t seem like the type that would cause damage to another person’s heart.
His free hand glides its way from my shoulder blades to the small of my back. His fingers press their way around until they reach the button of my shorts. His hand then slides into my pants and a groan erupts from the heart of my chest. Inching his fingers along my pelvis, his feet begin to move. My feet move backwards until my back hits against the trunk of a thick tree. Then, as he slides a finger into me, my eyelids fly open, but his are hooded.
His head falls forward as his lips press against the crook of my neck. He really is making me enjoy having sexual relations in public. But right now, I don’t think sex is the cure. Right now, I just want to be with him. I just want him close.
“Nolan?”
He pulls back, jerking his hands out of my shorts while looking into my eyes. “Yeah?”
“I don’t think tonight is really a good night for sex.”
He bites back on a smile before nodding his head. “That’s cool with me, babe.”
“You aren’t mad about it or anything, are you?” I ask, in hope that he isn’t. I don’t want it to seem like I’ve just turned him down.
“Bunny,” he breathes, pressing his hardness against me. I choke on my next breath as the rock in his pants makes the sweet spot between my legs tighten pleasurably. “I’m gonna have blue balls, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that I’m mad. I respect what you want. If you don’t want sex tonight, we won’t have sex tonight. Although, I was hoping for a good fuck against this tree.”
My mouth gapes as his eyebrows shoot up. “Right here?” I screech. “People could walk by and see!”
“I don’t mind.”
“You do know that sex in public is illegal, right?”
He chuckles, revealing all of his teeth. “It would have been worth it to break the law.”
I giggle as he presses his lips against the crook of my neck again. God, I love when he does that. It turns me into a pile of sweet mush every time. It’s delightful.
“How about you two get a room!”
Nolan pulls away quickly and I gasp as I spot Harper and Dawson making their way towards us while walking along the brick path.
“You guys are a load of freaks!” Dawson adds on with a broad grin while watching me hurry to button my pants.
Nolan laughs and I bite back on a smile.
“The lady here wants to grab a bite to eat. What do you say to Buffalo Wild Wings?” Dawson looks down and squeezes Harper’s hands. She smiles up at him, revealing all of her teeth. Wow, she really likes him. I’ve never seen her smile so big at a guy. Not since she’d dated Bobby.
&
nbsp; “That’s cool with me,” Nolan says, reaching for my hand. “Cool with you?”
My head nods quickly. “Yeah. I can chow down on a few good wings.”
“Cool shiz,” Dawson says with a lazy, surfer vibe. He turns around with Harper’s hand still in his and they begin to walk towards the parking lot that is a few feet away. Stepping ahead, I begin to follow after them but Nolan stops me, gripping onto my hand while reeling me in by the waist.
“Think about it tonight,” he murmurs against my ear, positioning his groin against me. My legs tighten as his voice causes my ears to blaze.
To be quite honest, sex tonight with Nolan doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Buffalo Wild Wings was too crowded so instead Harp and I ran to the store to grab a few groceries that would make a meal of tacos while Nolan and Dawson kicked back and watched the game at Nolan’s apartment. We decided that dinner at his place was better because he had a large patio with a large table that we could eat on.
Scrolling through the aisles of the grocery store, I scan each product until I see the bags of cheese. I grab two of them and toss them in the buggy. My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I reach for it quickly.
Gracey.
A wide smile glues to my lips but then thoughts of Mark come to mind. How am I supposed to tell her about Mark? Grace may have never admitted it but I could tell that she had some sort of feelings for Mark for a very long time.
Hesitating, I press the answer button and press the phone to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby doll!” she chimes. At least she sounds happy. That takes a load off of my shoulders.
“Hi, honey bear.”
“Listen,” she says and right after it is a loud popping noise. “Sorry. Good gum,” she mumbles. “I called Mark last night. Guess what he said!”
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