Hard to Resist
Page 21
And I did
I moved on
Yeah, I did
I grew on her
There is love
I accepted it
Yeah, I did
I grew on her
Ohh . . .
Verse 2:
I don’t know what I would do
Without you
It tears me apart when
I can’t see you
It breaks my heart
To know what he did to you
Bridge:
I promised I would stay
I promised I wouldn’t leave
I’ll always take your breath away
I’ll always be here to please
Ohh . . .
Chorus:
Cause I did
I moved on
Yeah I did
I grew on her
There is love
I accepted it
Oh, I did
I grew on her
I grew on her
Hook:
And I won’t let her go
No, I won’t leave her alone
I’ll always be here
Please don’t shed anymore tears!
Yeah, I did
I moved on her
Yeah, I did
I grew on her
I’ve matured
Yeah I moved on
I love her
Yeah I know she’s the one.
Nolan’s eyes open slowly as he pulls back from the mic. I stand quickly and cheer as hard as I can while clapping, whistling, and chanting his name along with Dawson and Jordan. Nolan stands, scans the crowd, but when his eyes meet mine, he smiles. My heart beats heavily against my chest as I stare back at him.
“I love you,” I mouth. He flashes another bright smile before leaning into the mic again.
“Thank you all. The love is greatly appreciated.” The crowd continues to cheer madly, even when he’s stepping off stage and making his way towards us. A few women ogle him but his eyes are on me and not daring to look anywhere else. I love the fact that he only has eyes for me at the moment. That song was beautiful and it said a lot. We may have been together for only a few weeks but this feeling is something beyond that. The spark that I’m feeling right now isn’t just a simple love. We’re in love. And I love the fact that we are.
It surprises me that I’m not scared of falling anymore. His lyrics have proved that he will do nothing more than carry me in his arms. He’ll do nothing more than make me happy. So far, he’s been faithful to his word.
“Dude! I’ve never heard you sing like that before! You destroyed that stage!” Dawson says as soon as Nolan meets with us.
Nolan smiles heavily as he grasps the hand that Dawson is holding out and gives him a brotherly hug. “Thanks, man.”
They let go of each other but as he does, I spot tears forming at the rims of Nolan’s eyes. He’s going to miss this. He’s going to miss hanging with his best friend. That song was something fantastic for him. Saying my poem has made me feel completely different but for him, I know it must feel unreal.
Setting his guitar down, Nolan begins to make his way towards me but as he glances over my shoulder, his eyes widen. “Mills?” he calls.
I spin around quickly, only to spot the phenomenal Mills making his way through the tables and chairs. “You seriously thought I wasn’t coming, bro?” he asks as he meets up with us. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ve been waiting for you to get out of the box.” They hug one another but this time Nolan’s tears fall without hesitation. He squeezes his eyes shut over his brother’s shoulder as Mills rubs his back with nothing but love. “Proud of you, man. Never let these dreams slip. Dad would be proud of you, too.”
“I know. He’s why I did it.”
“And her,” Mills says as he pulls back to look at me. “She must really be the one. I promise all my tests are finished,” he jokes.
I giggle as Mills opens his arms to me. I step in and hug him briefly before pulling away to hug Nolan. “You did good. I loved it.”
“You swear? I was nervous about it.”
Pushing him back by his shoulders, I stare into his wet grey eyes. “Loved it, Nolan.”
He grins. “Thanks, Bunny.”
Mills clears his throat as he looks us over. “How about celebrating over some wings, beer, and an intense soccer game. It’s still early enough to catch a few seats at Buffalo Wild Wings.” Mills looks over Nolan’s shoulder to see everyone else. “We all could chill together,” he offers.
“Dude, some honey-barbecue wings with beer sounds like the shit right now!” Dawson says before his eyes meet Harper’s. “Right, babe?”
“Yeah,” Harp says with a wide grin as Dawson pulls her against his chest.
“I could go for some beer and wings,” Jordan says with a shrug. “Britt and I are free for the rest of the night.”
“Cool,” Mill says with a small smile before turning around. “Let’s make it happen.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Dinner with everyone was fun. I seriously didn’t want it to end, but of course it had to. We couldn’t stay there all night. During dinner, I was still lingering on Nolan and his song. I still can’t believe that it was about me. I can’t believe he actually put in time to write a song about us. It fit so well, there were no flaws at all to me.
As soon as we’re inside the condo, Nolan pulls me in against him by my waist. “Did you have fun tonight?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I murmur as he places his lips against my ear. My skin is screaming for more of his touch right now. “Thank you.”
His head tilts back to look me over. “For what?”
“For stepping out of your box with me and singing it. For pushing me to see my dreams come true.”
“Don’t thank me for that, Natalie. It was bound to happen one day, whether I was around or not. But you did good. I could feel the emotion, the pain, the heartache.” He reaches a hand up to push my hair behind my ear. He then grabs for my hand to lead me to the bedroom.
The door clicks shut behind us and it isn’t too long before his hands are cupping my jawline. He strokes me cheeks and the flesh behind my ears. I breathe him in, wanting nothing more than to hold on. As he pulls back, his grey eyes stare down at me. “I have to tell you something.”
“What?” I ask.
“I have to leave tomorrow.”
My heart practically stops as I stare at him. I want to jerk away from him and slap him but I can’t. I’m stuck. He takes my hand so we both can sit on the edge of the bed. “Tomorrow?” I repeat. “But why?”
“My mom is sicker than we thought. She can’t even move and she has no one to take care of her. She doesn’t have enough money to pay for a nurse so Mills and I have to leave. He already bought us tickets.”
“Is that why Mills wanted to celebrate tonight?”
“Yeah,” he says through a dry chuckle. “He wanted to celebrate for Open Mic but he also wanted me to enjoy my last night with you. He told me before we all departed from Buffalo Wild Wings.”
“Wow.” I shake my head, my eyes still wide and my face still struck with what is most likely terror. “Tomorrow—Nolan that’s too soon. I can’t stomach the thought of you leaving yet. I thought I’d at least have time to cope with the idea of it.”
“I know, Natalie. I’m sorry. I seriously just want you to come with me and stay with me over there but you have to start fresh here. I want you to go to school, work your ass off, and keep writing. When you miss me, write. When you’re thinking about me, write. When you’re lonely, write and then call me.” He smiles softly before leaning in to kiss my forehead.
My eyes burn but I shut them to allow them to cool. “How long do you have to stay?”
“I don’t know but I promise to visit. There won’t be a day that goes by that I’m not thinking about you.”
As I choke, I realize that I’m crying. The tears pour heavily as I bury my face into his chest. He clutche
s me in his arms as he strokes my back. “I love you, Natalie. You’re my world and I didn’t even know it until now. I’ll never let this go.” He pushes me against my shoulders to get a look into my eyes. “Do you hear me?” he asks. “I’m never letting this go.”
His stern eyes search my face and although I don’t know what he’s searching for, I know that he’s found his answer because his lips crush against mine. He lays me on my back, pushes his way between my legs, and begins to trail kisses from my lips to my cheek, and then down to my collar bone. One of his hands sneaks its way down to grab my thigh gently while the other strokes my cheek continuously.
“It’s only temporary, Bunny,” he says against my lips.
I nod with my lips pulled in. I try my hardest to control my tears but at this moment, it’s impossible. I’m going to miss him more than anything. It almost feels as if we’re letting one another go. It almost feels as if we’re breaking up but unlike the break up with Bryson, this one is worse.
But it’s odd because we’re not. He’s always going to be here for me. Bryson couldn’t say that. After a few seconds, my dress has disappeared. His eyes stare and scan every bare inch on my body. As I lie before him in just a light blue bra and lace panties, I can tell that he wants nothing more than to make me his. He dips down, kisses me, and I reach down to unbutton his pants. He pulls back again to tug his shirt over his head and as soon as his pants and boxers fall, he slides into me.
A gasp escapes my lips from both pleasure and pain. But that pain boils into nothing but pleasure as he slides in and out with swift strokes. They’re even, defined, and every single one of them is giving me a dose of his love. His lips press against mine sweetly and my lips part, allowing him to taste me.
He plunges into my deeper, harder all while kissing the crook of my neck and growling against it. “I love you, Natalie,” he says against my ear. He lifts me up and pulls my legs around him to remain chest to chest while sitting upward but now it’s my turn to return the love. I move forward, backwards, slowly all with my legs strapped around him and his hand grabbing hold of my ass. I want to cherish this. I want to cherish all of him.
We’re heart to heart, chest to chest to chest, nose to nose. My head falls back as he drags his lips from my jawline to my collarbone. I then smash lips with him, pecking them lightly and delicately as my hips continue to grind. As he grunts, he whispers my name with a few mild curse words.
“I love you, Nolan,” I breathe. He grunts and I moan heavily before we both reach our climax. Bursting with ecstasy, I quiver before wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him. I inhale, taking in the pleasure of his sweet sweat and his masculine scent.
“You’re my baby. My Bunny. Distance will never change that,” he murmurs against my ear.
Tears fall, but I smile because I know that he means it.
Chapter Thirty-Three
My eyelids flip open quickly. I reach for my phone to check the time and it is now 9:26 A.M. Snatching my blankets off of me, I clamber out of the bed. “Oh, no,” I mumble to myself while searching through my dressers. I’m late. I scramble through my drawers until I pull out a pair of blue jean shorts, a brown camisole, and a bra. I rush to the bathroom while struggling to pull my shorts over my hips. After yanking my shirt over my shoulders, I reach for my toothbrush and give them a quick brush. With my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, I hook my bra then reach for my shirt to pull it over my head. I rinse my mouth then dash out of the room to slide my feet into my brown Toms.
Clutching my keys, I rush out of my room and head for the door.
“Nat!” I spin around only to spot Harper stepping out of her room with a silky pink robe on and mangled locks. She has the sleepy eyes that are letting me know that she’s had a long night. “Where are you going?”
“I have to get to Nolan.”
“Nolan?” Her face pulls together. “You were just with him. What’s wrong?”
“He’s leaving today, Harper. I have to go.”
Her eyes widen but I don’t allow her enough time to ask any more questions because I am out of the door and clambering down the stairs in a heartbeat.
****
Twenty minutes later and I’m at the airport. Bustling through the busy streets, I don’t stop until I am at the glass doors. I’m moving so fast that I almost got ran over—twice. As soon as I swing the doors open, there is a line of people waiting to walk through the security monitor. I groan as I stand on my toes to see if the line is moving quickly but it’s just my luck that it isn’t. I spot an opening to my left where a few security guards are passing by to get to the other side. That’s when my body goes into play. Without thinking, I dash towards the gap and rush through.
“Hey!” one of the security guards call. I ignore him. “Hey!” he calls again. I can hear his footsteps but I decide to walk faster. I spot a crowd of people ahead and rush for them. Sliding my way between, I let my hair down and it falls into curls against my shoulders. Hopefully he won’t notice me with my hair down. I’ll be harder to find without a bun.
I crash into a few people just to make my way through but I don’t stop. I’ll fight if I have to if it means that I’ll make it in time to see him. I promised him last night that I would meet him here before his flight. Arriving here a few minutes before his departure isn’t enough. I should have set a damn alarm like he said.
The crowd finally begins to die down but then I am greeted with a fork of three hallways. I groan as I clutch my keys in hand. I spot a young woman behind the counter and rush for it.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
“Yes. I’m looking for a departure to San Francisco, California at ten.”
“You’re looking to catch a flight?” she asks, her eyes broadening and pretty much saying that I’m an idiot. “Sweetie, sorry to tell you but there’s no way in hell that you can catch a flight within ten minutes. This is an airport. These places are constantly booked.”
“No—I’m looking for the flight that leaves at ten!”
“Oh!” She nods as she clicks the mouse belonging to her computer. “Let’s see here,” she says while tapping away at her keyboard.
A groan rumbles at the heart of my throat. I don’t have time for this. I push away from the counter and cross my fingers while speeding down the middle hallway. My only hope is that he’s down here because if he isn’t, I’m screwed and I won’t see him again for another few months. I can’t deal with that. It won’t last.
As soon as I hit the end of the hall, I scan the area. I spot a few people sitting on benches and a few people waiting in line at the airport Starbucks. My heart pounds against my chest but once I spot the cropped dark hair, the worried grey eyes that are scanning the area just as much as I am, and the bags in his hand while he waits in line, my heart beats rapidly.
“Nolan!” I wail as he takes a step forward. He’s next in line. One more step and he would have been on that plane. His head whips in my direction and his eyes land on mine as he smiles. He rushes out of the line while passing through the crowd of seated people.
Then, dead in the center, our bodies crash, collide and our lips don’t dare to be anywhere else but against one another’s. My fingers braid through his hair as he picks me up in his arms and squeezes me. He finally drops me but he doesn’t bother to remove his lips from mine. His gentle hands cup my face and a tear streams down my cheek. He pulls back to study my face and take me in for what will be the last time for a very long time.
“I got worried,” he says.
“I wouldn’t have missed this moment, Nolan. I love you.”
His lips spread and reveal a row of beautiful, white teeth. He kisses me again while cradling my face in his hands. And as I kiss him back, I can feel it. I can feel everything. The love, the power, the passion. It’s all there. Nolan and I have been through battle grounds during this love game. But it’s no longer a game to us. It’s real. It’s here. And it’s speaking to us more clearly than ever.
I fell, but was picked up in his arms. I was blessed with his love, with his heart. And I swear to never drop it. I swear to never lose it in all of this madness. Our love will blossom and grow. With time, we’ll be more than one.
Just when I thought that he would be completely hard to keep a hold of—just when I thought that he would shatter me even more than my past had—he’s actually made me better.
This love was hard to control.
This love was hard to keep hidden.
This love was hard to go through with.
But this love was going to happen one way or another because it was completely and utterly hard to resist.
Epilogue
One Month Later…
Every day, he tells me that he loves me. And, quite honestly, I believe him. I have no problem saying it back. I’ve progressed so much and I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come. Heartbreak . . . it’s just a word now. A word that I could care less about. Nolan says that his mother is doing well and we’re planning on seeing one another soon but I hate to wait. I miss him like hell.
I’ve been sitting on these words for weeks and I finally know how to put it down in ink. I finally know how to make it sound right. Tucking my legs beneath the coffee table, I press the tip of my pen against my sheet of paper. This time, Adele and Lucy Rose are flooding through my speakers. They’re a huge inspiration for a time like this.