He felt her hands slipping through his, as though some invisible force was pulling her away from him.
“If you love him, you can stay here,” she said, her voice sounding far away though he could clearly see her form. “But if you leave it too long, you’ll be forever trapped here. You won’t be able to cross over on your own.”
Dane stopped crying. “I can stay? With Ryan?”
“I love you, my darling Dane.” Her voice had become a distant whisper. “Never forget that I love you.”
He leapt to his feet, searching the shadows for any trace of her. “Aunt Beatrice! Aunt Beatrice!”
But she had gone. He could no longer sense her presence, and the room felt overwhelmingly empty in her absence.
He sat in the chair his aunt had used and stared into the night. She had given him a lot to think about. And think about it, he would.
Chapter 6
The following morning, Ryan woke Dane with a line of kisses planted tenderly across the back of his shoulders. He could feel Ryan’s erection pressing into the space where his thighs met his groin, from behind.
“I can’t,” mumbled Dane.
Ryan persisted, nuzzling the back of Dane’s ear. “You can’t? Why not, sexy man? You bored with me already?”
Dane rolled over to face his lover.
“What’s wrong?” asked Ryan. “Didn’t sleep well?”
Dane closed his eyes. How he wanted to discuss all that had happened the previous night with Ryan, but was now the time? Besides, how would he even broach the subject? “No, I didn’t sleep well.”
Ryan kissed him on the mouth, then rested his head on the pillow. “Nightmare?”
It was obvious Ryan was going to wonder what was wrong with him until Dane told him. It was only natural. Dane also knew that until he’d discussed his encounter with Aunt Beatrice with Ryan, he wasn’t going to be anything like his usual self, which wouldn’t be fair to the man he loved more than anything else.
“Not exactly.” Dane draped an arm over Ryan’s naked torso and began to stroke his back. “Something very strange happened last night. You’re probably not going to believe me, but please know that everything I tell you is the absolute truth.”
Ryan blinked in agreement.
“There was someone in our room last night—”
“What!” gasped Ryan.
“Hang on,” said Dane. “Let me finish. If that’s the way you’re going to react, you’re really going to love the next part.” He kissed Ryan’s lips. “It wasn’t a burglar or anything like that. I followed it into the sunroom, and when I got closer, I realised it was my Aunt Beatrice.”
“Your dead Aunt Beatrice?”
Without skipping a beat, Dane replied, “Yes.”
Ryan gave a barely detectable nod and bid Dane to continue.
“She had a couple of things to tell me. She didn’t want me to feel guilty about the accident. She also said she loved me. Then she told me…” Dane inhaled sharply. “She told me she wasn’t the only person to die in the car accident.”
Ryan appeared suddenly perplexed. “Didn’t you say it was only you and her in the—”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I said to her.”
He could see the realisation dawn on Ryan’s face.
“I didn’t understand at first, but then she pointed out several things I had—for reasons I find impossible to fathom—not been aware of myself.”
Ryan, whose perplexed expression morphed into one of annoyance, propped up his head with a hand. “Such as?”
“Such as why haven’t we shared a meal together? Why don’t we ever enjoy a glass of wine? Why don’t we use the toilet? Or shave? Or sweat? Or cry? Or…”
He could see Ryan’s attention move away to a point in space over his right shoulder.
“When we climax, we feel it, but where’s the cum? When we cry, where are the tears? We do things because we remember the way they’re done. We…”
Ryan rolled over and leapt off the bed. He hurried out of the room as though it were on fire.
“Ryan!” Dane called after him.
His first instinct was to follow Ryan. He knew how his beloved was feeling. He was feeling the same confused mess himself. He wasn’t even sure he’d finished processing everything he’d been told, although the room did look lighter than it should have been. Aunt Beatrice had told him the light would come with understanding.
But there was more he had to tell Ryan. He had to tell him about the light and the option to stay just the way they were. It was important for Ryan to have all the information since it was going to be Ryan who made the final decision. Whatever Ryan decided, Dane would go along with simply for the pleasure of being forever by his side. And if what lay beyond the light meant they would disappear from existence altogether, then that was fine as well. He could stand eternity with Ryan. He could stand oblivion—after all, what would he know about it? But the one thing he couldn’t bear to contemplate was being separated from Ryan.
In the end, Dane decided it best to leave Ryan to process the first part of what he’d been told. It would make understanding the second part easier. He hoped. Although how easy had it been for him? Even when he was explaining their circumstances to Ryan, the whole situation had seemed surreal. His words had felt foreign, even as they left his lips. In a way, they were foreign. Most of them had been his Aunt Beatrice’s.
Dane lay in bed for another half an hour. He had thoughts of his own to mull over. The more he considered his aunt’s words, the more he realised the truth in them. His sudden aversion to sunlight after the accident made more sense. His headaches. How had he survived all these weeks without money? Without food? Without water? And then he remembered how he’d first met Ryan. He still couldn’t recall corresponding with him, so how had Ryan come to know his address? That remained a mystery, but one he’d investigate much later on, if at all.
He climbed out of bed and began to make it, then wondering why he was bothering, he messed it up again.
He stepped into the hallway, lighter and brighter than it had ever been. In fact, everything seemed to radiate a pale light from within. He was surrounded by the light, yet it was still only faint.
The kitchen was empty and Dane’s first thought was of the gazebo. He walked through the sunroom, out through the rear French windows, and around the swimming pool. He noticed a flash to one side of him. By the time he turned to see what it was, it had gone.
His head began to ache. It had been a while since that had happened.
Even as he approached the gazebo, he could see it was empty, but as he’d made the effort to check it, he continued on until he stood in the centre of the structure.
The fact it was empty brought a heavy feeling to his gut. He knew it was a phantom feeling—his aunt’s revelation had made sure of that—but it was an uncomfortable feeling nevertheless.
He returned indoors, rubbing his forehead and squinting from the pain.
“Ryan!” he called. “Talk to me.”
Silence.
He checked every room. Twice. He ventured onto the front porch and scanned the front garden. There was no point in checking the gazebo again, and while Ryan could have been hiding out in the extensive back garden, he felt in his soul it was unlikely. Quite simply, he couldn’t sense Ryan anywhere.
His whole world, which had been crumbling since his meeting with Aunt Beatrice, was now destroyed. Without Ryan, there was no point in continuing on. There was no life in his body, and if Ryan had left him, there’d be no life in his heart. He returned to his bedroom and crawled into bed. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling.
He’d wait till nightfall for Ryan to return, and if he hadn’t, he’d tell the light he was ready and face whatever was on the other side. Alone.
* * * *
He must have fallen asleep. Or the spectral equivalent. But whether he really slept at all anymore was of no importance to him. He opened his eyes to an empty bed. Outside, through the windows,
the afternoon was disappearing into the oncoming night.
With a heavy heart and barely any willpower, Dane dragged himself out of bed and into the en suite bathroom. There was no trace of Ryan. With little hope of ever seeing his beloved again, he retraced his earlier steps, even returning to the gazebo, but nowhere did he see, or sense, Ryan. By the time he arrived back inside, he was ready to complete his soul’s journey, to focus on the light and make it bright enough to swallow him. All he could hope for was oblivion. Heaven, if it existed, was not for him without Ryan.
He dragged his feet through the kitchen and into the entrance foyer. Moving towards the front door, he had no expectations of what might be on the other side. He pulled it open and was startled to see Ryan standing there as if he’d been about to knock at the very same moment.
Ryan looked at him with puppy dog eyes. “I’ve been a real bastard.”
Dane threw his arms around Ryan, hugging him so tightly it was a good thing he had no need to draw breath.
“Where have you been?” sobbed Dane. “You scared me to death. Again.”
“I’m really sorry. Can I come in?”
“Wha…? Of course you can,” said Dane, releasing his embrace. “Why wouldn’t you be able to?”
“Because I’ve been a complete arsehole to you,” replied Ryan, sheepishly brushing by Dane.
Dane grabbed Ryan’s shoulder and turned him around. He looked into his lover’s chocolate brown eyes and smiled. “I love you, Ryan. I love you more than anything. It would take something more than a little…disagreement to change that.”
Ryan kissed Dane, firmly, passionately, on the lips. “I love you, too. And I am sorry for the way I’ve behaved.”
Dane took Ryan by the hand and led him into the formal lounge. “We may as well use every room in the house. I think our days of formal entertaining are over.”
Ryan smiled at Dane and kissed him again before they sat on the three-seater couch. “I’m sorry for this morning. Sorry for worrying you. I just needed time to think. To get my mind around what you told me.”
Dane shook his head, beaming. “Stop apologising. It’s all over and done with. I understand. It’s not easy to hear that you’re dead.”
“I didn’t let you finish this morning,” said Ryan, taking Dane’s hand. “I think I’m ready to hear the rest now.”
Dane furrowed his brow. “I can’t remember what I told you and what I didn’t.”
“Just start again from the beginning. I’m sure there are bits I missed. You know, with the shock and all.”
Dane didn’t know whether Ryan was making a joke or not, but thought it best to assume he wasn’t. “Well, I don’t think you’ll have forgotten the part where we’re both dead.” He’d meant it to sound light-hearted, although he wasn’t convinced how successful he’d been. He cleared his throat, even though there was no biological need to, and continued. “Apart from a couple of personal comments, the only other thing Aunt Beatrice told me was something we’re going to have to think about long and hard.”
Ryan rested his free hand on Dane’s thigh and gave it a gentle rub. “Keep going.”
“She said the reason we’re still here, going about our lives as if nothing has happened, was because we didn’t know we were dead. She said when we realise it, fully realise it, we can walk into the light.”
“What happens then?”
Dane shrugged. “She didn’t know. But she also said we had the option of staying the way we are now—”
“Perfect!” Ryan clapped his hands. “I’ve made up my mind.”
Dane shook his head. “No. No. You don’t understand. She said we were supposed to go into the light and if we didn’t, yes, we could choose to stay here the way we are now, but that if we left it too long, we’d be stuck here.”
“And what’s so bad about that?”
Dane shifted his weight from one buttock to the other. “That’s what my first thought was. I’m so happy when I’m with you, Ryan. I love you so much it hurts to think of an hour without you. But will we feel the same way for eternity? That’s how long we’ll be trapped here. Never being able to enter the light.”
“I want to know what this light is all about. What’s on the other side? It’s hard to make a decision without all the facts. Who’s to say that what’s on the other side isn’t worse than what we’ve got here?”
Dane could only nod. “If I had any more answers, I’d give them to you.”
It was Ryan’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, either. All I know is I want to be with you whatever we do. If we stay here, we can be together forever. If we go into the light, we might be obliterated. Which I also don’t mind. If I can’t be with you, I welcome oblivion.”
“What else could be on the other side?” asked Ryan. “Heaven? Paradise? Both would be Hell without you. Besides, we have paradise right here. A beautiful house, lush gardens, a swimming pool.”
Dane sighed. “We have a lot of thinking to do.”
Chapter 7
Unusually, the following morning, Ryan didn’t wake Dane with the promise of an hour of early morning lovemaking. Instead, he woke Dane with a kiss and a question.
“I’ve been thinking,” he began. “Can’t you get your Aunt Beatrice back? Ask her for advice? She couldn’t tell you anything before because she hadn’t crossed over, but now that she has, she might have some answers.”
“I didn’t bring her here in the first place,” explained Dane. “I wouldn’t know how to go about it.”
Ryan looked suddenly thoughtful. “Can’t we hold a séance or something?”
Dane smirked. “A séance? Dead people holding a séance for dead people?”
“Why not? We’d probably get a better result than any living person.”
Dane kissed him. “If you want a séance, then we can have a séance.” He kissed Ryan a second time. “How do we do it?”
“I’ve only ever seen it in the movies. We need a Ouija board. A pointer thingy. A glass. Maybe a candle.”
“Where are we going to get a Ouija board? Or a pointer thingy? What is a pointer thingy anyway?” He laughed and playfully slapped Ryan on the thigh, noticing that his lover sported a glorious example of morning wood.
“Leave everything to your handy handyman. I’ll get it together and we’ll do one tonight.”
“And in the meantime?” asked Dane, glancing at the erection and feeling a wave of excitement as it twitched against the thick, tangled nest of Ryan’s pubic hair.
“Come here, you.” He pulled Dane on top of him. “I know what you want.”
“It’s scary how psychic you’ve become,” said Dane, guiding Ryan’s cock into him. “And I can tell you, I’m not going through eternity without this.”
He closed his eyes and let his head fall against his shoulders. Without the distraction of sight, he could enjoy the burning, tingling sensation washing over his body as Ryan penetrated him as deeply as he was able.
* * * *
When they’d finished making love, Dane stayed in bed while Ryan left to begin work on his paranormal project. By the time Dane decided to get up, a full forty-five minutes later, Ryan had already constructed a mighty fine Ouija board out of cardboard. With a felt-tipped pen, he’d written the first half of the alphabet across the top, and the second half along the bottom. He’d written “Yes” on the top left-hand side and “No” on the top right-hand side. In the middle he’d written “Goodbye.”
“That’s a pretty detailed Ouija board for someone who’s only seen them on television!” remarked Dane.
Ryan laughed. “What can I say? I love horror films.” He winked at Dane. “Anyway, I’ve got the glass and the candle. They were easy. I just need a pointer thingy.”
“What the hell is a pointer thingy? You still haven’t told me.”
“You know,” said Ryan, his hand making a frustrated circling motion in the air. “A pointer thingy! You must have seen a
Ouija board. It’s the thing that slides around and points to letters to spell out a word.”
Dane nodded. “My aunt wasn’t a huge horror fan. I only got to watch what she wanted to watch. However, before I go on, why do you need the glass?”
Ryan opened his mouth to speak, then smirked. “Okay, so you’re more brilliant than I am.”
“What did I say?”
Ryan lifted the glass. “You use this when you don’t have a pointer thingy.” He smacked his forehead with the palm of his free hand.
“Okay. So it sounds like we’re ready to have a séance.”
* * * *
After the sun had set and the background noise made by those still living had died down, Dane and Ryan took their seats at one corner of the enormous dining table. Illuminated solely by the light of a solitary candle, Ryan began.
“We should put our fingertips on the glass. Just lightly.”
Simultaneously, they did so.
“Concentrate,” said Ryan.
Dane wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be concentrating on, so he concentrated on Ryan.
“Is there anyone here with us?” Ryan asked the darkness.
Dane’s eyes went from Ryan’s face to the glass.
“Is there anyone here with us?” he asked again.
Nothing happened. The glass didn’t move. There were no disembodied voices. No shimmers.
“You ask,” said Ryan. “Ask for your aunt.”
Dane nodded. “Aunt Beatrice, are you here?”
“Concentrate.”
“I am concentrating!” said Dane, almost snapping. “Aunt Beatrice, are you here?”
The glass didn’t look like it was ever going to move.
“Ask again.”
“Aunt Beatrice, if you’re here, give us a sign.”
Unfortunately, there was no sign forthcoming.
“Let me try again,” said Ryan. “I’d like to know if there’s anyone here with us. Aunt Beatrice, are you here? Please give us a sign.”
Dane wanted to support Ryan in everything he did, though he was rapidly growing tired of the séance. It was clear nothing was going to happen. Perhaps the Ouija board was only good for souls who hadn’t crossed over. And as the house was already occupied by two souls who hadn’t crossed over, he doubted there were any more in the immediate vicinity.
Paranormal Lovers Box Set Page 10