“This is a lot different from my house, but that’s in a good way, Kyle. I’ve been nervous, too. I didn’t want everyone to hate me.”
“No one could do that.”
“Your mother and your siblings seem really nice.”
“Thanks.” He noticed then that her eyes drifted to the cookies and lemonade. “Would you like cookies and lemonade?”
“I sure would.” Leaning forward, she picked up the pitcher and filled both their glasses. Then she picked up a napkin and placed two cookies on it. “Are you going to have any cookies, too?”
“Not right now. But you eat all you want. My mamm bakes all the time.”
Not wanting her to be too self-conscious, he started telling her about how chaotic the house had been that morning when they were all getting ready for church.
It really had been crazy. Beth had woken up late and stayed too long in the bathroom showering, which made Jimmy start knocking on the door every five minutes. Those two things set off a strange chain reaction that had all of them doing things out of the ordinary. Harley had spilled a whole glass of milk, he’d stuck a foot in a puddle, and splashed dirty water over his pants. Even their father had gotten pecked when he’d tried to help out and gather eggs.
Gabby laughed. “You know, I always wished I had more siblings than just my brother but now I’m kind of glad I don’t.”
“It ain’t always like this, but believe me, I would’ve rather had your morning. I’m sure it was a lot quieter.”
For some reason, that had been the wrong thing to say, because some of the light that had been shining in her eyes faded. “It was quieter, but I don’t know if it was better.”
“Gabby, I wanted you to meet Kyle’s father,” his mother’s voice rang out.
Eyes wide, Gabby got to her feet.
Kyle stood up also. “Daed, this is my friend Gabby. Gabby, this is my father, William Lambright.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Lambright,” she whispered.
“Welcome to our haus,” he said quietly. Turning to Kyle, he said, “I trust you are behaving yourself?”
“Jah, Daed,” he said, just as he noticed a gleam in his father’s eyes. Kyle would’ve never thought it, but his father was teasing him.
Just as he was about to turn back to Gabby, his father sat down in one of the chairs across from the couch. “Kyle told us that you are a senior in high school.”
“Have a seat, Gabby,” he whispered.
When she sat, Kyle sat down, too. But this time a little closer to her. If Gabby was going to have to answer questions from his father, he was going to make sure she knew she wasn’t alone.
After setting the cookies carefully on the table, she smiled. “I am. I can’t wait to graduate.”
His father nodded. “And then what will you do? College?”
“Oh, no. College isn’t in my plans. We can’t afford that.”
“What will you do, then?”
If it had been anyone else asking those questions Kyle would have put a stop to it. But correcting his father wasn’t something he’d ever considered doing. The idea was as foreign as planning a trip to Russia.
Because of that, Kyle was forced to sit helplessly as Gabby fumbled for an answer.
“Well, I just got a job working over at Walnut Creek Cheese Shop, and I help watch Mr. Anderson’s mother one night a week. I think I’m going to do more of that for now.”
“Why do you have to watch his mother?” As usual, his father’s voice was gruff and his expression was intent. Kyle knew he wasn’t trying to be scary, it was just his way.
But from the way Gabby was gripping the edge of the couch, it was obvious she didn’t know that.
Finally gathering his courage, Kyle cleared his throat. “Maybe—”
“No, I don’t mind talking about it, Kyle.” She took a breath. “Mr. Anderson’s mother has gotten kind of absent-minded and she lives in a garage apartment. She gets lonely. I go over and clean up her kitchen a little, do some laundry, and we watch TV together. That’s all.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” his mother said.
“I like Mrs. Anderson, but I can’t say that I’m only doing it to be nice. Like I said, I get paid to go over there. The money helps with gas and food and stuff . . .” Her voice drifted off.
Daed stared at Gabby for a moment before standing up. “We should leave you two alone. I hope you will come again, Gabby.”
“Thank you.” Looking over at Kyle, her brown eyes warmed. “We were just talking about how we were both nervous for me to come over, but you all have made it so nice.”
“You come over again, soon, dear,” his mother said. “We want to see you.”
After they walked out, Kyle sat back down with a sigh. “I’m really sorry,” he began, then realized that she had tears in her eyes.
Before he could stop himself, he moved to kneel down in front of her. Reached out to grasp her hands. “Gabby, I’m so sorry. My family is large and constantly in my business. I didn’t expect they’d be quite so much into yours.”
“Oh, Kyle.” Her lip trembled and one of those teardrops he’d spotted drifted down a cheek.
Seeing that lone drop made him feel even worse. He gently squeezed her hands for a second. Realizing that this was a sorry way to comfort her, he finally pulled her into his arms. Right there in the middle of his living room.
Gabby tensed, then wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back. She didn’t make any noise, but he could feel the dampness on his neck.
She was crying.
It was only natural for him to gently rub her back and whisper nonsensical words into her neck. “It’s okay, Gabby. Shh, now. I’ll make it better.”
She shook her head, then, to his amazement, relaxed against him.
Kyle had no reference about what to do. Try as he might, he couldn’t recall Jimmy ever holding his Sarah like this. He couldn’t even imagine his parents in such an embrace.
But at the moment, he didn’t care whether he was doing the right thing. All that mattered was that Gabby seemed to find comfort and he liked being the one giving her comfort.
Her body felt good next to him. Right. He stopped patting her and ran a hand up and down her spine instead. Noticed that her hair felt soft and smooth against his cheek and smelled like flowers and mint.
“I’m sorry. I’ll . . .”
“Hush, now, Gabby. There’s no need to cry. I’ve got you,” he murmured. “I promise, whatever is wrong, I’ll help you make it okay.”
Then he looked up and saw his mother standing in the doorway. Gaping at him. At them.
He swallowed hard. Met her eyes, and knew. Knew.
Everything in his life had just changed.
TWENTY−FIVE
“What would it have mattered?” Tricia asked. “What exactly was so bad that happened?”
“Oh, we decided to go swimming in his pool,” Harley said.
She’d ruined everything. Self-loathing coursed through Gabby as she realized that she’d dissolved into tears from just a few kind words from Kyle’s parents.
And now?
Now, sweet, amazing Kyle was kneeling on his own floor attempting to comfort her and apologizing for things he hadn’t done. If his arms around her didn’t feel so good, Gabby knew she would always regret this moment. But Kyle’s comfort felt too sweet to ignore, definitely too special to ever regret.
So even though he was probably going to usher her out of his house as soon as possible and then probably go out of his way to never see her again, Gabby let herself relax in his strong arms for a few more minutes.
At the very least, she’d always have this memory. The memory of being held close and cared for. The feel of a really good boy’s arms around her like she was something special.
She was going to memorize every little bit of this moment, the way his skin smelled like fresh soap, how his hands felt strong and calloused but he rubbed her arms and back carefully—just as if she were
so fragile she might bruise. It was sweet, and in spite of her turbulent emotions, she found herself committing to memory the way his voice sounded as he attempted to get her to calm down. It was raw and scratchy and strained. Caring.
Yep, she was going to put this episode firmly into her heart and lock it up tight before everything between them changed.
Before Kyle realized that she was way too much trouble and completely undeserving of such care.
Huh. It seemed that was all it took to bring her back to reality. Well that, and the realization that his parents or one of his siblings could walk in any second and catch them.
Hating the idea that he would get in trouble for something that was all her fault, Gabby straightened and pulled away. “Thanks. I’m better now.”
But Kyle hardly budged. “Hey,” he said, swiping a thumb along her cheek, wiping away the wetness. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah.” Releasing a ragged sigh, she got to her feet. “I . . . I really am sorry for acting like this. I’ll get out of here and leave you alone.”
“Nee. Halt.”
“Huh?”
Scrambling to his feet, he shook his head, as if to clear it. “Sorry. I mean, wait a minute. What are you doing? You can’t leave right now. You just got here.”
“I know.” She stopped herself before she started trying to explain. Because she was pretty sure if she started talking and telling him about why she cried? Well, she was going to tell him too much.
He stepped closer. “Gabrielle, I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s wrong.”
How could she ever attempt to put all that she was feeling into words well enough for it to mean something to him? “We don’t need to talk about me, uh, losing it. Actually, it’s probably best if we both try to forget about this. I promise, if we happen to see each other around town I won’t make a big deal about it.”
“You won’t, huh?” His blue eyes turned icy. “That ain’t gonna happen, Gabrielle,” using her full name yet again. “You’re going to sit down and talk to me.”
“Because you’re ordering me to?” She raised her chin, just like she had every right to get in a snit after the way she’d behaved.
“Nee, because I care about you. Now sit. Please?”
Please. How could she refuse that?
She sat on his comfy couch. It was massive and light gray and looked like it could sit his whole family on it at the same time. Maybe even a goat or two. Curling her feet under her, she tried to sit primly.
But then he went and sat down right next to her, far closer than when his parents were in the room. To her surprise, he linked her fingers in his. Maybe it was to keep her there, she didn’t know. But it sure felt good. Before she realized what she was doing, Gabby turned her hand so it was encompassed in his more fully.
Looking oh-so-serious, he said, “Now, first, I’m real sorry about my parents. I promise that I’ll talk to them and warn them to give us more space the next time you come over.” Looking annoyed, he said, “I’ll say something to my siblings, too. They . . . well, since I’m one of the youngest, they sometimes forget that I deserve the same respect.” He took a breath. “Except for Betty, I mean. But Betty is sixteen and full of herself. I don’t know what’s going to help her.”
He sounded so matter-of-fact, she had to try not to giggle. “Kyle, no one in your family did or said anything wrong.”
He frowned. “Actually—”
She cut him off. “No, I promise. This was on me.”
“Gabby, I don’t understand.”
She knew he didn’t. And actually, she loved that about him. Kyle Lambright didn’t know her as the poor girl with the single mother and the popular brother who was counting on a football scholarship to take him far, far away from here.
No, Kyle actually thought she was a lot like him.
“I don’t have a father, Kyle.”
He blinked, obviously startled by the statement. Then he gathered himself and spoke. “I’m sorry, Gabby. Did . . . did he die recently?”
Ugh. This was so awful. “He’s not dead. I mean, I don’t think he is.”
“Then?”
“Kyle, what I’m trying to tell you is that I never knew him at all. He was never around. My mother never married him.” She waved a hand, frustrated with herself. “Or maybe they weren’t ever in a relationship in the first place. I don’t know.” Keeping her eyes away from his, she continued. “My brother, Lane, is actually only a half brother. He’s from another of my mom’s failed relationships.” She hated talking about Lane like he wasn’t everything to her. Hated talking about her mother like there weren’t many good things about her, but she needed Kyle to know the whole truth about who he was holding hands with.
Because if, for some reason, he still wanted to know her, she didn’t want to wonder if it was just a temporary thing. That it might end as soon as he discovered all her secrets.
“Okay . . .”
Even though she knew the rest of her story wasn’t pretty, she forced herself to continue. “Now, she’s okay. I mean, Mom has a pretty good job. She works as a hairdresser and has a lot of clients.” Thinking about how different she seemed at the salon, she added, “I’ve seen my mother at work. There, she looks happy and put together and easygoing. I’m pretty sure most of the people she sees at work wouldn’t ever think that she doesn’t have it all together. But back at home? Well, everything there is a mess. Sometimes I think everything about our house is dysfunctional.”
“I don’t understand.”
Of course he wouldn’t. Because Amish people didn’t do things like her family did. “My mother works a lot, and she’s always paid for everything we need. Lane and I have never gone without a meal or shoes that fit or anything like that. But she’s not at home much. It’s almost like as soon as she takes care of her obligations—Lane and me—she’d rather go off and do her own thing.”
“Does she, though?”
Feeling self-conscious, she nodded.
“So that is why you are always trying to do so much,” Kyle stated.
She nodded slowly. “Even though I’m just two years older than Lane, in a lot of ways I feel like I raised him.”
“I’m sorry about all of that, Gabby, but I don’t understand why being here made you so upset.”
“When your father looked at me and said I was welcome back . . . it was like he thought I was good enough to be here with you. With all of you.”
“But of course you are.”
“No, he said that even though I’m not Amish.” She gazed up at him, suddenly feeling uncertain. “Even though I’m not close to being good enough for you to spend time with.”
“He knew you weren’t Amish, Gabby. And of course you’re good enough to be here. Just because my parents are married and we’re Amish doesn’t mean our lives ain’t without problems. We certainly aren’t perfect.”
“Do you really mean that?” It was kind of sad how much she wanted his family to be imperfect, too. She needed them to be on more even ground, or at least close to that.
“Of course.”
“And, what’s more? There’s nothing wrong with you. Not one thing.”
Kyle looked so sincere, his words so sure, she almost believed him. “I’m afraid that one day soon you are going to decide I’m not worth it.”
“Gabby, of course you are. We’re all worth it, don’t you see?”
“I know you think so, but . . .”
“Nee, I know so. The Lord doesn’t make mistakes, Gabby. He might have given you challenges, but he’s given all of us challenges.”
“Kyle.” But even as she said his name, Gabby knew her voice sounded pained. Why in the world had she decided to bring all of this up?
Looking at Gabby intently, Kyle paused to take a breath. “No, listen to me. I’m not just telling you this to make you feel better.” He’d never been one to share his faith so openly. Never had he actually tried to make another person see his point of view. But thi
s felt right and it felt important.
And because of that, he pressed on. “Gabby, what I’m trying to say is that I believe that you and me were meant to know each other and meant to be friends.”
“Even though so much about me is so different from you?”
Looking at her, seeing how earnest she looked, he wanted to smile. The fact was, she was different from him in most every way. She was a pretty English girl who had a messed-up family and needed him. He liked that. No, he loved that.
“Maybe I like you because you are so different, jah?”
Her eyes opened in surprise, she looked a little sheepish . . . and then she smiled. “Jah,” she repeated.
He smiled. She sounded so cute even trying to say one word in Deutsch. “Gut.” He stood up and, holding out his hand, said, “Now come see the goats. They’re ornery and silly, but mighty cute. I know you’re gonna love them.”
“I bet I am, too,” she murmured as she slipped her hand in his.
Kyle couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt more alive.
TWENTY−SIX
Kendra wrinkled her nose. “Wait, did you all just happen to have bathing suits with you?”
Harley rolled his eyes. “Of course we didn’t. We decided to go swimming in our underwear.”
“Careful now, Kyle. There’re nails sticking out of most every piece of that cabinet,” Harley warned.
“I got it,” Kyle grunted as he carried the kitchen cabinet toward the back door.
Unable to help himself, Harley watched his brother carefully angle himself sideways to get through the doorway. When Kyle stepped out of sight, he breathed a sigh of relief. The old cabinets in the kitchen were of solid oak and heavier than they looked. The wood was also dry and brittle. Because of that, it was splintering under their leather gloves and breaking in odd places. When he’d first begun the renovation, he’d contemplated selling the old cabinets to help Katie allay the costs. Maybe even donate them to a shelter or charity so they could be used again. Now it was obvious that they would be going directly to the dump.
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