by Carly Fall
Immediately, she’d gotten to work on Zach. As the plane took off, she’d ripped open his jacket and shirt and then jammed a local anesthetic in his shoulder to numb it. She’d also started an IV with a sedative. His blood loss had turned out to be bad, but not extreme. Thankfully, the brachial artery hadn’t been damaged.
As they’d flown to San Diego, she’d sterilized the wound and removed the bullet, then stitched him up. She hadn’t had to use her nursing skills in a long time, and it felt good to help another human being.
Thankfully, the car ride to the house had been short, and Joe had provided a few men to help get Zach situated in the bedroom. After that, she’d been left alone with him in this seven-bedroom house overlooking the ocean. The place proved to be beautiful, but she couldn’t enjoy it.
Standing, she went to the windows.
As the ocean lapped against the rocks below, she pondered the calm scenery compared to the mayhem in her mind. The sea should have been a stew of angry waves filled with crashing guilt, and she dreaded the moment when Zach woke up. She didn’t think she could face him and atone for her actions, and she thought about sedating him for a few more hours. However, she’d have to face the music at some point—she couldn’t hide from him.
What she had planned in the beginning had been wrong, and what she’d done to fix it had been the hardest thing she’d ever experienced.
Zach groaned behind her and she turned, not knowing whether she should go to him and comfort him, or if once he realized what her actions had been, if he’d just flat-out try to hurt her.
“Mother of everything holy,” he mumbled, thrashing around a bit.
Savannah whined and wagged her tail, resting her head on his lap.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, stroking her head. “Do you know where we are?”
Taking a deep breath, Ella crossed the room.
“Zach,” she said, placing a hand on his good shoulder. “You’re safe.”
He stilled at her touch, as if he tried to put the pieces together of where exactly ‘safe’ could be.
“You’re in Joe’s safe house in San Diego,” she said, hoping that bringing Joe into the conversation would build his trust. “I’ve pulled the bullet from your shoulder and stitched you up. You’re going to be fine.”
He didn’t move, and she wondered if he’d drifted off again. She sat back in the chair, her eyes grazing over his full lips, the scruff on his chin, his closed eyes. How she hoped he’d forgive her once he understood the full story.
“You set me up,” he whispered.
“Yes, I did. I had to.”
He grinned. “I can’t wait to hear this one.”
Taking a deep breath, she began. “Before I met you, I wanted to get back at Joe for what he’d done to me. I thought my whole life was his fault, that my misery was because of him.”
He kept his eyes shut, yet his brow furrowed as he listened to her.
“I know it was wrong of me to feel that way, Zach, but I did. So, I contacted Group Nine and told them I could offer up someone who could help them destroy Joe’s organization. I didn’t want Joe dead; I just wanted him hurt, and I knew in order to so, I would need to hit him in the proverbial gut—his work.”
“Or you could say the proverbial sack.”
She grinned, despite the situation. “Yes. I also knew that if I could wound his organization, I would also be hurting the thing he left me for.”
“Not very loyal of you,” he murmured. “But please continue. Let’s get to the part where you fuck me, and not in the good way.”
“When you showed up, I was going to hand you over to them. Please remember my frame of mind at the time, Zach. Remember how horribly angry I was, how awful I was to you.”
“It’s hard to forget, especially now.”
“Zach, you broke down those barriers. You found the real me. I never in a million years could have imagined that someone could have done what you did. I started to feel alive again, and the anger and hatred I felt for Joe dissipated.”
He chuckled, then winced. “And if I was so awesome, please tell me how it was so smart of you to turn me in to Group Nine?”
“I had to. They threatened they would track me, and they started to do so. They said they would end Joe’s organization, and if they had been able to follow my online footsteps, they would have destroyed everything, including you, me, Joe … everyone and everything associated with the company.”
“But that’s what you wanted.”
“No!” she exclaimed, standing to pace along the foot of the bed. “No, Zach. What I wanted in the beginning was to hurt Joe. I had no connection to you. I offered you up. Then you … you ended up being so damn inquisitive, so fucking complimentary, and so brave and strong and … and I knew that if they found us in Palm Springs, we would all die.”
“Ella, I appreciate the drama, but I’m still not getting it. Put it into terms an orphan from Oregon can understand.”
She sat down next to him and took his hand. He flinched, but she held on tight.
“Zach, I knew they would want to extract information out of you. They weren’t going to kill you right away. I figured if I could give them something, I could save everyone. Once I had the plan set in place with them, I called Ruben.”
“How do you know him?”
“He was the guy I shot before you showed up.”
He chuckled, and she smiled.
“Why didn’t Joe tell me he knew where Ruben was located? He had to know we were in the platoon together.”
“I don’t know. I had no idea. He was just another pain in my butt Joe dumped at my door.”
“So, you’ve got this convoluted plan in place, you’ve somehow convinced Ruben to help you, even though you shot him a few months back … then what?”
She sighed. “Walking away when I saw David approach you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, Zach. Every instinct I had screamed at me to stay, to protect you.”
“But you couldn’t.”
“No, I couldn’t. If I did, we’d all be dead.”
“Then you and Ruben followed us.”
“Yes. The rest, you know.”
He remained quiet for a very long time, and she wondered if he’d drifted off to sleep.
He pulled his hand away from her. “Ella, get out of this room, please. I don’t want to be anywhere near you right at this moment.”
Tears stung her eyes as she left, closing the door with a soft click. She had tried to prepare herself for the fact that Zach wouldn’t be interested in continuing their relationship after her betrayal, but she’d been holding out a little hope.
That small flame diminished a little more as she tried to hold it together. She placed her shaky hand on the staircase railing and went downstairs to the living room.
Curling up on the couch, she gazed out at the ocean, the flow of the waves crashing against the beach soothing her. Maybe he just needed some time and space, and eventually, he would be able to forgive her. But forgiving someone and being their lover weren’t even in the same ballpark.
She recalled what he had said about trust when she’d first questioned him about his blindness—For me, sharing my strange make-up with you at this point in the relationship would be like us jumping into bed and fucking each other senseless. The trust isn’t there for either one of those things to happen.
Wiping a tear from her cheek, she pulled the throw blanket over her shoulders and lay her head down on a pillow. Shutting her eyes, she knew she’d blown his trust in her right out of the water, and it may never be repaired again.
Chapter 30
Zach lay in bed listening to the ocean hit the shore and the sea birds squawking. Did they fight for food? Did he hear mating calls?
He petted Savannah, so happy she lay with him. Usually, he didn’t allow her up on the bed, but right now, he found her presence next to him so comforting and reassuring, he had no plans of kicking her off any time soon.
He tried not to th
ink of Ella’s deception, but really, how could he think of anything else? He didn’t know what hurt worse—the throbbing in his shoulder, or the ache in his heart.
When he thought about the scenario logically, what Ella had done made perfect sense. A risky move, yes, but a bold and intelligent one. Could he have done the same thing to her?
He didn’t think so, but that’s because he tended to underestimate the fairer sex. Yes, he liked his women strong-minded and intelligent, but when it came down to it, women always surprised him with their cunning and decisive intellect and their ability to protect what they considered important.
In the military, some of his friends had been married. Their sweet, good-natured wives would turn into all sorts of crazy-scary if someone messed with their husband or kids. He remembered two moms getting into it on base many years ago when their kids got into a fistfight. He’d thought the moms would come to blows, as well. Two perfectly nice, normal women protecting their own, reminding him of mama grizzly bears ready to tear the flesh from each other.
Yes, Ella had handed him over to Group Nine, but he understood it. It had been a cold and calculated thing to do, and he could tell by her voice that it had also been difficult.
Walking away when I saw David approach you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, Zach.
He tried to flip the tables and put himself in her position. Would he have the balls to do it? Probably not initially, but in the end, he’d have to grab his sack and put the plan in action.
He understood it; he really did. But maybe she should have told him that he’d be the sacrificial goat and he could have been a bit more prepared. How would that have looked? He certainly wouldn’t have gone easily; it just didn’t sit in his nature. Instinct would have taken over and there would’ve been a brawl in the middle of the presentation.
Surprise had overrun him, almost paralyzing him. He’d been led out and taken away with no one the wiser of what had happened. Well, no one except Ella. The situation had remained calm and cool, no innocents had been hurt, and he’d gotten away from Group Nine battered, bruised, and with a hole that shouldn’t have been there, but alive.
When he thought through it, he couldn’t fault Ella. What she had done in the beginning by even contacting Group Nine had been so wrong on a lot of different levels, but she’d done the best thing she could have to fix it.
As the lull of the ocean pulled him toward unconsciousness, he wondered what Joe would say about it all.
Chapter 31
Zach woke with no idea of the time. He tried to sit up, cursing and moaning at the pain in his shoulder.
“Let me help you,” Ella said.
He remained silent, but accepted her assistance.
Once standing, he dug his toes into the carpet and took a moment to orient himself.
“I need to use the restroom,” he murmured.
“Of course. I’ll lead you there.”
He counted the steps until the plush rug changed to cold tile beneath his feet. Ella led him into the restroom.
“Here’s the toilet. It’s right in front of you.”
He nodded.
“I’ll wait for you outside.”
He heard the door shut, and he felt around the bathroom, finding the toilet exactly where she had said.
After using it, he flushed, and then washed his hands. The cool water felt so good, he also splashed some on his face and wet his hair, his shoulder screaming at him and making it difficult to complete his task. Reaching out, he felt a mirror over the sink. He kept his eyes closed, not knowing the time of day, and he certainly didn’t want to see any images right now.
He found a towel to his left and patted his face dry, then ran it over the top of his head.
“Are you okay?” she called from the other side of the door.
Finding the handle, he opened it. “Yes.”
“Should I help you back to the bed?”
“No. Is there a chair in here? I’d like to sit up for a while.”
“Yes.”
She took his hand and led him over to the chair. The ocean breeze caressed his skin, sending a shiver through him as he only wore a pair of boxers.
Sitting down, he inhaled the briny air, and it seemed to reenergize him as he listened to the sounds outside.
After a while, he broke the silence. “Are you going to tell Joe what you did?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought. I’ve been more concerned with other things.”
“Like what?”
“You. I’ve been concerned about you, about us.”
He chuckled. “Is there an ‘us’, Ella?”
She sighed. “I used to think so. I wanted us to see where this thing we have between us leads.”
“And now?”
She hesitated for just a moment. “Nothing has changed, Zach.”
He nodded, realizing his male pride stood in the way of what he really wanted, which happened to be Ella.
Could he trust her? He honestly didn’t see why he shouldn’t. When one competed in the clandestine world, the rules of play of regular society often didn’t fit. What she’d initially done had been stupid and reckless, but she’d plotted a way out. His pride hurt because she’d bested him; yet, she’d saved him, as well. That had to count for something.
He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “Are you fucking with me, Ella?”
“No,” she answered emphatically. “I acted in the most ignorant of ways. I should have realized that Joe has never been responsible for my happiness, but I am. You brought me out of that horrible place, Zach. I would never intentionally hurt you, unless it was to save you again. My feelings for you are so strong, and I’m so grateful to you for what you’ve done. I don’t even think you realize what you’ve given me. I just think that—”
“Ella, you’re rambling.”
She sniffled. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, Zach. If I could do it all over again, I’d go back seven years to when Joe left me but was still physically present. I wouldn’t have given him so much power over me, or my emotions.”
He nodded, hearing the desperation in her voice, the need for him to understand where she came from.
He did. It would take a while for him to get over the whole incident, but in the end, both of them were safe. Ella’s plan had worked flawlessly.
Savannah put her nose between his arms and licked his face.
“I love you too, baby girl,” he whispered as he petted her head.
After a long while, he’d made his decision.
“Ella, I want us to see where this goes, as well, but I’m having some trouble with the trust issue. I know what you did was right. In fact, the longer I think about it, I consider it brilliant. I laid in bed for a long time trying to figure out the flaw in your plan. Yes, it was really risky, but you thought it through and executed it perfectly, and as you know, that shit really turns me on.”
She sniffled again, and he tried to picture the tears flowing down her face. “So, quit crying and come over here.”
A moment later, she curled up in his lap, doing her best to avoid his bruised thigh, and he felt the fresh tears against his skin. He longed to hold her, but his shoulder wouldn’t allow it.
They sat in silence for a long while.
“What time is it?” he finally asked.
“Just before dinner. About five.”
He nodded. “Have you talked to Joe?”
“No. I keep putting him off, saying I need to tend to you.”
“Ella, I’m going to leave it up to you whether or not you tell him. You need to own your lies and deceit, so you hold on to them and do with them what you wish. I’m not going to snitch on you.”
“Thank you.”
“But there is one thing I need to come clean on. I need to tell Joe that you and I are … that we’re trying to see … that we’re …”
“Zachary Johnson. I’ve never heard you at loss for words. Why don’t you just be
yourself and tell Joe we’re fucking?”
She slid off the chair and he felt her in front of him, yanking at his boxers. He didn’t stop her—telling himself he’d be a fool to do so—and gave himself over the beautiful sensations as she took him into her hot mouth, her tongue rolling around his tip.
“Good God,” he whispered, deciding all their issues could be dealt with at a later time.
Chapter 32
They sat out on the back patio, waiting for Joe and Thomas. Her stomach fluttered and her hands shook as nerves rattled within her.
Large pots of pansies circled the outer rim of the cement, the red, orange, and purple flowers looking gorgeous against the background of green grass and rolling ocean waves.
She’d spoken with Zach at length on what, if anything, she should say to Joe. They’d come up with a few different scenarios that explained Zach being shot, but none of them sat right with her. If she wanted to move into the future with him, she needed to come clean about her past actions.
“He’s going to know something is wrong the second he sees you, the way you’re fluttering about. You’re worse than a hummingbird on crack.”
She grinned and took a deep breath to calm herself. “I know.”
“What’s the worst that can happen if you tell him?”
“He could kill me.”
“Do you really think I’m going to let that happen?”
“No. You won’t.”
He reached over and found her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I saw us in the mirror this morning, Ella. We were both whole; we were smiling. I think everything is going to be okay.”
“Where were we?”
“We held hands on a patio overlooking the ocean. Lots of pretty flowers around us, and the sun was setting. It looked gorgeous.”
She glanced around. “That’s where we are.”
“See? We’re going to be fine.”
The doorbell rang, and she stood to answer it. “Here we go.”
“Ella, please remember this is going to quite a blow for him, so we need to go easy. Your deceit and our relationship will both hurt.”
“I still don’t fully understand why he would care about our relationship.”