***
Lettice entered Robert’s ante-chamber laden with a tray of cooked meats, bread, cheese, fruit and other delicacies for Robert’s supper. She had made sure there was enough food for two, telling the steward that Robert’s man-servant would also need food. She knew that Thomas would find his way to the kitchen for his meal after he had made sure his master was safe; there was a kitchen maid there that he had become quite friendly with, and she would make sure he was fed.
Lettice pushed the bolt home on the door to the gallery, then walked through the chamber into the next room, and bolted that door too. She could see by the flicker of candle-light from the bed chamber as Robert moved about that he was in there. She put the tray down and held her skirts still as she quietly crossed the room and peeped round the door.
Robert immediately turned round and smiled his wonderful smile at her, and she felt her heart start beating faster in her chest. He walked towards her and took both of her hands in his own, pulling her into his embrace.
‘I have looked forward to this all day, Lily,’ he whispered as he dipped his head and claimed her lips. She put her arms about his neck, feeling the damp hair and collar of his shirt; he must have bathed recently, she thought, and she returned his kiss with equal fervour. She too had been waiting all day, although she felt she had waited all her life to feel like this. He eventually broke the kiss and set her carefully back on her feet.
‘The Queen’s fever seems to have broken, my Lord,’ Lettuce wanted to deliver her mother’s message before anything else happened between them. She felt disloyal enough as it was, and she was sure Robert felt the same. This feeling between them had taken both of them by surprise, she felt, complicated as it was by her husband and by Robert’s feelings for the Queen. Lettice took another breath.
‘Blanche Parry says that it is a long road to recovery, and the Queen must stay in isolation until all the lesions are gone, but now her fever has broken she will live.’
Lettice watched as Robert’s eyes closed with relief, and she remembered the tears of her mother as she had learned that the Queen, although still quite ill, would live. Lettice knew how difficult her mother had found allowing others to take care of Elizabeth, although she knew the danger to her own children, grandchildren and Meg’s children should she pass on any infection. Cat would just have to wait, like everyone else, thought Lettice, but she too was pleased the Queen would live.
Lettice slid from Robert’s grasp and walked quickly to the tower door. She moved the hanging and made sure the door was bolted, then pulled the hanging back across. She went to Robert, who still seemed lost in his own thoughts, and took his hand, pulling him towards the bed.
‘All the doors are locked, Robin, and we are quite alone.’ She stopped when the backs of her legs touched the mattress and looked up at him questioningly. He let out a heavy sigh, then his face brightened and he smiled at her, eyes crinkling.
‘Then let us be alone together, lovely Lily,’ and he again swept her into his arms and deposited her in the centre of the bed as she laughed excitedly and watched with huge eyes as he crawled up the bed towards her.
***
‘I know my mother is relieved, Aunt Meg, as are all the court.’ Lettice sat with Meg in the nursery, watching Penelope at play with Jane and Dickon and holding Dorothea on her lap. The baby was very intent on playing with the pendant round Lettice’s neck, pulling it and trying to put it in her mouth.
‘The Queen is very important to the country, Lettice,’ answered Meg as she poured them some ale into pewter mugs, ‘and she has always been important to your mother too. Like her oldest child, even though there are only a few years between them.’ Meg laughed and nodded round her nursery, cluttered with years of children passing through. ‘Your mother loves children, not just her own, but everyone’s.’
Lettice looked at Meg with huge haunted eyes, ‘I hope she will love my next one, Aunt Meg,’ she said flatly.
Meg gasped, her face beaming a huge smile of pleasure. ‘Oh, Lettice, I’m so pleased for you. Walter must be over the moon; he can go to Ireland at last.’ She hugged Lettice as well as she could with Dorothea on her lap, then continued, smiling, ‘And your mother will love having an infant to cluck over again.’ Meg looked across at Lettice and saw huge tears welling in her eyes.
‘Whatever is wrong, sweetheart? Did you not want another child? I thought you did?’
‘Yes, Aunt Meg. I did …. I do. This is exactly what I wished for. But ….. have you ever heard the saying “Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it”? I think that saying was written for me. Twice over for me.’ Lettice brushed the tears away with the tips of her fingers and smiled at Meg, whose brow was now creased in worry.
‘I don’t understand, sweetheart. What did you wish for twice that you think you’ve got?’ Meg shook her head in mystification and Lettice heaved a huge sigh.
‘I must tell someone, Aunt, but please promise me you won’t tell my mother. Or even Uncle Ralph, because he might feel the need to tell my father, and God forbid that should happen.’ She shuddered at the thought.
Meg rose and held her hand up to Lettice to stop her speaking, and she moved across to the dividing door of the nursery. Looking round to make sure the nursemaids were watching the children, Meg nodded to the girls and pulled the sliding door into place, then returned to her seat and took Lettice’s hand in her own.
‘What you tell me shall remain between us, I promise. And I shall try and help in any way you want me to, sweetheart. So what is wrong?’
‘My child might not be my husband’s, Aunt.’ Meg took a sharp breath and rubbed Lettice’s hand even harder. Lettice swallowed and her eyes again filled with tears that she tried to blink away. ‘But its existence is sending him to Ireland, and for that relief I am grateful.’ Meg’s lips compressed and she nodded for Lettice to continue.
‘You remember I told you about how I felt, Aunt Meg? About Lord Robert?’ Meg looked at Lettice questioningly, then her face cleared as she took the meaning of the words.
‘Oh, sweetheart. I had hoped you had ‘overcome’ as we said before.’ Lettice shook her head violently, and received a scowl from Dorothea, who had almost had the pendant to her lips.
‘Aunt, he is the most astonishing man. He is strong, tender …….. he is … everything … to me.’ Lettice smiled and shrugged and blinked tears back again. She wanted to tell Meg everything about him, but she knew that would be to betray Robin’s confidence and she couldn’t do that. Their lovemaking must remain private between them.
‘What does he say about the Queen? About their relationship?’
Lettice shook her head. ‘He doesn’t discuss her with me, Aunt. Only to say if she found out, he would be completely cast down. As would I if Walter found out, so it is for both our sakes this must remain secret.’
‘I must say I think less of him for betraying the Queen, Lettice. He has been her only for so long, and now when she has been so ill, he …..’
‘It was my doing, Aunt. I went to him and threw myself at him. I wanted him so badly, and I didn’t care about anyone else. It happened before she was ill, so please don’t think he used that excuse to find someone else. And I know he might be her only, but he has had ……’ Lettice stopped at Meg’s astonished expression and decided that it wasn’t her secret to tell, about Lissey Sheffield.
‘So, how would you like me to help, sweetheart?’ asked Meg, breaking the silence that had ensued when Lettice abruptly stopped speaking.
‘I don’t know,’ she wailed and Lettice burst into floods of tears, so Meg picked Dorothea up from Lettice’s lap and took her into the other room for the nursemaids to look after for a while, until Lettice had calmed down enough to think reasonably again
.
Chapter 36
obert sanded the letter and folded the parchment carefully, pressing his seal into the soft wax.
My dearest Bess
They will not let me see you. I have tried, my Bess, but the doctor refuses. I must content myself with letters until you join me here in the world again.
I have missed you so much, my love. The days have been long and dark without your shining presence in them. The whole court is darker without you.
I have been attending Council meetings, and I must tell you that Cecil and Throckmorton have done a sterling job keeping everything on an even keel, but your sage advice and forethought is sadly missed. You are the fire that keeps everything bubbling, my love. Without you, the waters are still.
There is to be a small celebration of your recovery, but until you can re-join us, any celebration will be hollow. When you are allowed to return, I shall plan such a celebration the Gods on Mount Olympus will be envious.
Until I am allowed to see you, my Bess, know that I love you. Get strong for me. I am yours. R
***
My love
Your note has done my heart more good than all the possets and unguents Kat and Blanche have inflicted on me. But oh, Robbie, I do not know how to bear it. I am no longer as I was, and I don’t know how to face you. The doctor tells me I cannot come out of my room until all the lesions are healed; I may never have the courage to come out at all.
Cecil writes and lets me know what is going on in the world, and he says your attendance at Council is exemplary. Thank you, Robbie, for doing your duty for your country; you will never know how important this is to me. Write to me every day and tell me your news. I will be with you in my heart at the celebration; I know not when I will be with you in body. Or indeed if.
I am, as always, your Bess.
***
My love. I long to see you, hold you, talk with you as we have always done. You need have no fear of facing me; how could you think that? You are Elizabeth of England, our Queen. You are my Bess, my all, and I long for you, my love. R.
***
The celebration for the return to health of the Queen was a modest affair, as the Queen was not allowed to attend. The rest of the court enjoyed a feast of food, drinking and dancing but it was held well away from the Queen’s apartments so the noise and music didn’t disturb her recovery. Robert had persuaded the Council that there needed to be a show of entertainment and pleasure to which the ambassadors from other countries should be invited. It wouldn’t do to show how near to ruin England had come should the Queen have died. How desperate and desolate the country had felt when she was so ill. When she was recovered enough, there would be a week of celebratory events, but a small festivity to mark the passing of the disease would show Europe and the world that the Lioness of England was on the road to recovery.
‘My Lord.’ Lettice curtseyed as the dance began.
‘My Lady.’ Robert smiled as he took her hand for the first steps and they drew close together for the turn.
‘It seems so long since I saw you, Robin,’ a whisper before the direction of the turn changed.
‘You were spread naked in my bed before the dinner hour, lovely Lily,’ a whispered snort of laughter before the direction changed again and they had to part.
‘An absolute age, then.’ Another whispered giggle and then the partners had to change.
‘Rob,’ Kit curtseyed to her brother and Robert bowed and took his sister’s hand.
‘Are you well, Kit?’
‘Most well, thank you brother,’ Kit nodded towards Lettice, dancing with Kit’s husband, ‘and Lettice looks better now Walter has finally gone to Ireland.’
‘Indeed?’ Robert kept his reply non-committal.
‘Don’t you think so? His demands for an heir before he left were proving difficult for her, I think.’
Robert changed hands for the next turn, raising his brows as an answer; he didn’t think he could speak, and he struggled to clear his throat before Kit’s next revelation.
‘She looks happier without him, brother. Glowing, in fact. I wonder if she’s taken a lover? Who would blame her, taking respite from her pompous husband?’
Robert tilted his head to the side in reply, and shrugged slightly. He was beyond speaking, as he couldn’t think of a reply that wouldn’t betray him or Lettice. He didn’t want to speak of their relationship to anyone, not even his sister. They went into the final turn and then the dance was done. Robert smiled at Kit and took her hand, leading her back to Henry, who was conversing with Lettice.
‘I shall return in a moment, with some wine.’ Robert smiled round at the group and went to find a servant with a tray of wine cups.
‘My Lord.’
Robert turned smilingly at the soft voice behind him, and taking two cups of wine from the tray of a passing servant he handed one to his companion.
‘Lady Sheffield. How wonderful to see you.’ Robert held his cup up in a toast and Lissey bobbed a curtsey in return.
‘It seems a long time since I saw you, Rob,’ she sipped at her wine, ‘I miss my morning ……. exercise.’ She beamed at him and he took a swift swallow from his own cup to hide his confusion.
‘The weather and the Queen’s illness have prevented the sword practice, my Lady.’ Robert mouth quirked in a smile, ‘but perhaps now spring is finally on the way, I might be able to put the lads through their paces.’ His eyebrow rose as he took another swallow. Lissey giggled.
‘I shall look forward to that, Rob.’ Lissey took a breath. ‘When you return to your sister,’ Lissey nodded across the room, ‘you might advise the Countess that she is being watched. Tell her I’m returning the favour she did me about the jasmine.’ Lissey smiled down into her wine as Robert looked at her curiously.
‘My Lady, I have only spoken to the Countess in the dance ….,’ Robert began, and Lissey looked up at him intently.
‘I did not say you were being watched, Rob. I said she was.’ Lissey gestured with her cup and Robert followed the line of her action. He saw Lettice’s father Francis Knollys, although ostensibly in conversation with Throckmorton, scowling across the room towards his daughter. Robert then looked at Lettice, and saw she was in gales of laughter, clinging onto Henry Hasting’s arm in mirth and laughing even more while she clutched her midriff as he bent his head and whispered something else into her ear.
Robert had no qualms about Lettice’s behaviour with Henry, who was the most constant husband he could wish for his sister. Kit was laughing too, at whatever was being said, but Lettice could barely stand. Robert smiled to see her so happy, then returned his gaze to Lissey, who looked at him in bewilderment and took another drink of her wine.
‘I think her behaviour offends her father, Rob. Especially as her husband is away. You might tell her to have a care?’
Robert shook his head. ‘I cannot see any fault in her behaviour, my Lady. Her husband is fighting in Ireland. And she is the cousin of the Queen.’
Lissey shrugged and took a swallow of her wine, raising her eyebrow.
‘Aren’t we all?’
She smiled at Robert and moved away to speak to some more of her friends. Robert took four cups of wine from another passing servant and went to join his sister again.
***
‘He wants her to return to Rotherfield Greys, Cat? But why?’
Cat helped herself to a sweetmeat from the table and looked at her friend.
‘He thinks she is inviting scandal with her behaviour, Meg. He thinks she’s flirting, with gentlemen of the court; Henry Hastings, for example, and Lord Robert.’ Cat put the sweetmeat in her mouth and chewed
slowly as she watched her friend form a response.
‘She is with child, Cat. Lettice wouldn’t jeopardise Walter’s heir for a …. flirtation… with anyone.’
Cat raised her eyebrows and chewed again. ‘Francis is becoming very … rigid .. in his thinking as he gets older.’ Meg looked at Cat and raised her brows. Cat laughed and waved her hand. ‘Don’t misunderstand me, Meg. When we are alone together, he is as he ever was; kind, caring, attentive. But at court, especially as it is such a young court, surrounding a young Queen, he is offended by flirtations, however casual or innocent they may be.’
Meg smiled noncommittally and Cat continued, sipping her ale as she spoke. ‘Everyone thinks Francis is pompous, but he isn’t really, he is just from a different generation; as are we, my lovely.’ She raised her cup at Meg, who was at least ten years older than Cat herself. Meg wrinkled her nose back and shook her head.
‘We chose Walter for Lettice because he reminded me of Francis, did you know that? Francis was pompous when he was younger, but his was a gentler, more …. deferential,’ Cat raised her brows at the word she had chosen, ‘more reverent pomposity. He cared about me, my comfort, my happiness. Walter has a more lofty view; he cares about what people think of him and his views. He thinks he knows best, and makes sure people see and hear what he does.’
‘Then I’ll blame his mother,’ said Meg, taking another sweetmeat and passing the plate to Cat. ‘She has allowed him to be the king of the castle for all his life, and he thinks he deserves to be treated as a king. Perhaps if he was closer in age to his brother, they could have knocked off each other’s edges, but Walter was almost grown before his brother was born.’ Meg laughed, and said, ‘He should have been brought up here – he would be positively round!’
‘But in the absence of Lettice’s husband, Meg, she is bound by duty to obey her father. And he says she is to retire to Rotherfield Greys and await the birth of her child.’ Cat sighed, ‘And her two beauties will accompany her, my lovely. So we will miss them too.’
The Last Howard Girl (Tudor Chronicles Book 3) Page 25