“But, you’re hurting me now. Every time you turn away from me…every time you turn away from us, I die a thousand deaths.” Her voice trembled. “How long do you plan to do this? How long are you willing to sacrifice us and what we have? I won’t let you,” she said tremulously. “I don’t want you to be perfect! I love you for who you are. You’re my heart. You’re my life…everything.”
“If only I could give you what you need---”
“That’s what you don’t understand,” she pleaded gently, sliding to the floor before him. “You already have. This is the life that I need…that I choose. I want to be with you.”
“I’m not right for you,” he insisted again, grasping her small hands in his. “And I’d give anything to be the man that you deserve.” Now, deep pain resonated in his deep tone. “Baby, I can only be what I am---that’s all I can give you.”
“That’s all I want,” she asked shakily, her hold tightening. “The only thing I need.”
“No matter what happens, no matter how ugly things might get,” he said heavily. “Just remember one thing…I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”
“Always,” she agreed tearfully. “I love you.”
They held each other.
And for how long, she didn’t know.
But, the happiness swelling in her heart was the only thing that existed.
“Time to get you to bed,” he said, rising to his feet, several long moments later.
“No, not yet,” she insisted softly, shaking her head, and then stood. “There’s something else that I have to do.”
“Nicole, its 2:00 in the morning, and you need to rest,” he chastised gently, hugging her close before bestowing a kiss on her soft tresses. “You’ve been through enough for one day, and by now, it has to be taking a toll.”
“This can’t wait,” she argued quietly, upturning her face as she pulled back slightly. “There’s one thing left to do, and I need you right here with me.” Slowly, she raised their clasped hands, and then placed them against the white bandage. “I want you to help me take it off.”
“No. The doctors said that it shouldn’t come off for the next couple of days.”
“No, I want to take it off now. If the surgery was successful, a day won’t matter. It’s my decision to make and no one else’s,” she said defiantly, raising her chin. “And if you refuse to help me---”
“I’m here for you, no matter what, and you know that. But, you don’t need to take any unnecessary risks---”
“If my hopes and dreams of seeing again are going to be shattered, I want to face it now---prolonging the inevitable won’t change anything. I’m ready for this. I need to do this,” she stated determinedly. “And I want you here with me.”
The silence deepened as he sat her down on the bed again.
Her hands trembled as she touched the bandage.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked again.
“Yes, for five long years, I’ve waited for this moment.”
She swallowed past her clogged tears as he grasped the edges of bandage. The soft fabric dropped to her shoulder as he peeled it away slowly.
She held her breath.
Layer by layer, it unraveled before finally falling into a soft heap on the floor.
Still, she kept her eyes tightly shut.
A small sliver of fear coursed through her.
“Nicole,” he encouraged her gently. “Baby, open your eyes.”
Tears pooled behind her closed lids.
“Xander, I can’t,” she sniffed, swallowing past the hard tears.
He grasped her trembling hands as she reached out.
“You’re not alone,” he said softly, his hold tightening. “No matter what happens, I’m here. We’ll make it. Together.”
Her eyes fluttered open.
At once, the darkness turned to shadows that finally took shape.
She blinked again.
A gasp escaped her.
“Dear God,” she whispered tearfully. “Thank you.”
Even in the semi-darkness, the richness and vividness of the world’s colors was startlingly breathtaking.
The hot, scalding tears streamed down her face.
Her gaze swept the surroundings wondrously.
The large bedroom was bathed in warm beige.
Red, hot flames danced within the fireplace, sending its careless embers in flight behind the wired screen. A huge oil painting was centered high above the fireplace, and it had to be centuries old considering its high-glossed golden frame.
Light, mauve curtains hang along the wide-paned windows, reaching the floor easily as they swept the marbled floor. A pair of elegantly French doors led to an expansive terrace which was complete with a tiny patio table and chairs.
In essence, it was beautiful.
Her anticipation mounted.
Slowly, she turned to face him.
Her breath seized as she stared into the piercing, gray eyes.
…or were they silver…
Never have there’d been a shade so dazzling, she thought dazedly, appreciating the thick black lashes that framed them along with perfectly arched brows.
But, still, turmoil raged within the stormy depths.
With a trembling hand, she reached out.
Mesmerized, she traced a path along his perfectly squared jaw line.
She gasped as the dark stubble teased her fingertips.
She explored further.
His tanned skin was surprisingly soft, she mulled distractedly, tracing along the slim nose before trailing to the firm pink lips.
She inhaled sharply as they parted.
On instinct, hers parted in anticipation.
His warm breath teased her fingertips.
And again, her feminine senses responded in accordance.
Her wayward hand strayed further, sliding slowly up his nape onto his thick hair.
Under the firelight, the raven black mane was even more illustrious.
Their eyes locked.
And so many unspoken words were shared in the deep moment.
“I apologize,” he murmured thickly, “that you had to come across my hideous form first.”
“You’re beautiful,” she said breathlessly, caressing his face gently. “You take my breath away.”
For an intense second, they stared at each other again, and it seemed that they both caught a rare glimpse into each other’s souls.
“Baby, you’ve made it. All your pain, suffering…it’s over. Now, you’re free to go on with your life,” he added quietly, his troubled gaze darkening. “Everything that you’ve ever wanted is within your grasp.”
“For five long years, I lived in darkness, and often, I wondered if I’d drown in its madness. But, now, I realize that I was living, just in a different way. It was a profound difference. Still, I fought, lost, and loved the same,” she admitted tearfully. “And during that time, the most amazing thing happened. I met you. You changed my whole life. I found myself again through you.”
“Nicole---” he broke in.
“It’s taken me awhile to understand what you’ve been going through. It hasn’t been easy for you either. But, you fought for me,” she said in a tear-strained voice. “Not just against Gates, but also against my own private demons. Until you, I’d given up. But, you made me believe again…in myself, life, and love.”
“You’re giving me too much credit,” he said gently. “You’re a fighter, and you’ve never given up.”
She pulled his hand to her chest.
Her eyes searched his.
“No, don’t trivialize your importance in my life…this journey that we’ve taken together in these last months,” she said soulfully, her tears falling freely. “After the accident, I was living a different private hell. I was dead inside, and I just shut myself off emotionally from the world. But, the moment I met you, I came back to life…you awakened me.”
“You are an amazing woman.” He brushed her cheek softly wi
th an unsteady hand. “You’re strong, courageous, and brave. You always have been, and you always will be with or without me.”
“No, don’t say that. I don’t want to be without you ever. After everything that we’ve been through together, we deserve our chance,” she insisted and framed his face with her small hands. “Please, let me love you the way that I want…the way that I need to. Please make me yours.”
Her breath escaped in a heated rush.
She touched her lips to his.
For an intense second, she feared that he would refuse.
On a breathless whisper, he captured her lips again.
Her senses muddled.
The kiss was drugging.
…intense…
…ravenous…
“Nicole, we don’t have to do this,” he breathed huskily. His stare was deep as he pulled back slightly. “I love you. I’m not going to pressure you into anything that you’re not ready for.”
“But, I am ready. Please,” she pleaded softly, grasping his wrists gently. “I want you. I need you.”
“Baby, I want you, too,” he broke in. “But, if we do this, there’ll be no turning back.”
“I know that. I trust you, and I know that you’d never do anything to hurt me,” she whispered softly. “I want to be yours in every sense of the word. Make love to me.”
A storm brewed in his silvery depths now, and she prayed fervently that it’d sweep her under. She gasped softly as he threaded his hands in her thick, black tresses.
He drew their faces closer.
She shuddered as his warm breath teased her face.
“I want you,” he said thickly. “Do you know what you do to me?”
“No,” she whispered with breathless anticipation. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I lose myself,” he muttered hoarsely, pulling her close, “whenever I’m with you.”
Anticipation seared through her.
And feverishly, she prayed for his touch.
Her eyes closed as their lips met again.
He tasted her…
Savored her…
She lost herself…
Mesmerized, her eyes sought his as they broke apart.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he demanded softly, tracing her passion-bruised lips lightly with his finger.
“I want you. I want us.”
At once, they surrendered.
Their lips met again.
He plundered them hungrily.
Willingly, she became his slave.
Once again, his tongue swept within the cavity of her mouth. But, this time, she was the aggressor as she tangled her tongue with his. His hands tightened in her tresses as he groaned deeply.
His lips ventured further.
Slowly, his mouth traced a scorching path along her nape, and then retreated before capturing hers again.
Helplessly, her deep moan escaped.
With a deep gasp, they finally fell apart.
Their eyes locked again.
Only deep passion mirrored in them…
And in that breathtaking second, she knew.
He loved her.
…really loved her.
Fresh tears pooled in her eyes.
“I love you,” he murmured huskily, studying her closely. “I want to lose myself in you.”
“I know, I know,” she nodded as the tears spilled over. “I feel the same. Nothing else matters but you…us.”
The firelight danced against the walls, creating a surreal atmosphere around them. And momentarily, she pondered if they’d ventured into their own private paradise.
“Wait here,” he said huskily, releasing her.
Mesmerized, her gaze followed him as he crossed the room.
A stark white t-shirt and black sleep trousers swathed his well-built form. Yet, the simple attire seemed extraordinarily masculine and raw, making him even more desirable if that were even possible.
He was the perfect package.
Muscular, wide shoulders, strong thighs, pecs…
Under the firelight, he was devastatingly handsome.
She stared at the side of his face intensely.
His features were rugged…manly…strong.
The chiseled jaw line only made him more appealing.
Desirable…
His dark brows were burrowed deep in concentration.
And she knew that he wanted their first time together to be special.
Her anticipation mounted.
She touched her passion-bruised lips.
Would she be able to withstand the raging feelings within her when he actually touched her?
She was more than ready for it.
He was hers…and only hers.
She stood up slowly before moving away from the bed, and then stopped.
His movements were quick as he removed the matching candlesticks from the nightstand’s drawer.
She sucked in a hard breath as he bent down low.
Already, she was seduced as the cotton fabric stretched tightly across his broad shoulders. Her eyes traveled down his body slowly down past his hips.
Perfect…
Quickly, he struck the matchstick before lighting the candles’ wicks, and then placed the slim candles in their silver-tinged holders. Carefully, he lifted the burning candles before turning.
Their eyes clashed again.
Wicked promises…
She shuddered uncontrollably again.
Her heart skipped a beat as he advanced across the room slowly.
He moved past her.
The candles’ flames cast dark shadows against the wall as he carefully placed them on the fireplace shelf.
Turning, he faced her again.
Still, she held her breath.
Again, her heart skipped a thousand beats as he moved towards her.
Finally, he stopped before her.
He crooked his finger beneath her chin. “Nicole---”
“I love you,” she whispered, moving closer to him. “And I’m not willing to wait for us a moment longer.”
“Neither am I,” he rasped unsteadily, lifting her suddenly.
On instinct, she wrapped her legs around him, and then she gasped softly as his fingers sank into her naked thighs. “Xander,” she lamented softly, tightening her hold around his neck.
Hypnotized, she stared into his silver gaze.
“I want you,” he said huskily.
“I want you, too,” she whispered before their lips met again.
Now, their hunger was reckless, and privately she wondered who’d break first.
His steps were unhurried as he crossed the room.
With each step, her body responded shamelessly to his.
Every ridge, every hard edge…she hungered for it.
At once, he stopped.
Bemused, she pulled back in confusion.
“Xander---”
“Shhh,” he said hoarsely.
Her breath caught as she slid down his hard body.
Slowly, he turned her until they both faced the full-length mirror.
“I want you to see the woman I see,” he said thickly, passion filling his deep tone. “…the woman that I’ve always known.”
Amazement filled her.
Was this sudden wanton creature really her?
But, for the first time in her life, she was seeing the real her.
Spilling to her shoulders, her long black tresses were slightly mussed and curled teasingly at the ends. Her soft skin was a smooth brown, exuding a natural warm glow. Underneath the flannel top, there was no denying the feminine, voluptuous curves beneath it.
Her eyes, however, were the most startling.
Unbridled passion stormed within the dark brown depths.
With a trembling hand, she touched her swollen, passion-bruised lips.
She could still taste him.
Their gazes clashed in the mirror.
His words were deep and husky. “You’re mine,
and you always will be.”
She gasped as he hauled her back against him.
Through the flannel shirt, his hardness pressed into her hips, and it was no secret that he was already deeply aroused.
Weakness surged through her.
Already, a dull ache throbbed between her thighs, and it was a feeling so wickedly pleasurable that she couldn’t think of any words to describe it.
Only he could answer its call.
His hold tightened around her waist.
And she knew he understood.
“You’ve opened me up to the woman that I am,” she moaned. “I’m yours…forever.”
Their breaths came fast.
Yet, they were unwilling to break the sensual spell.
“Take me,” she said breathlessly, meeting his eyes in the mirror, and she trembled at the sight of their unabashed passion. “I want to be yours in every sense.”
He answered her call.
She shivered as he pushed her soft tresses aside, and her eyes drifted shut as his lips grazed her neckline teasingly. “Xander,” she sobbed, sucking in a deep breath. “I want to lose myself in you.”
“Open your eyes,” he whispered. “Look at you, at us----my beautiful sweet Nicole.”
Drugged, she forced her lids open.
Her breath caught again.
All too easily, they’d become slaves to their passion.
Their gazes were stormy.
Lost…
But, together, they’d find the way.
His large hands moved from her waist before ascending.
She inhaled softly.
How could she even begin to describe the heady sensations coursing through her body, she mulled distractedly as he slipped the top button free.
As if in a trance, she watched……
Waited……
With a purposeful slowness, he worked his way down, slipping each button loose, and when he freed the last one, her breathing seized. As he pushed it from her shoulders, the air caressed her heated flesh. In a soundless whisper, the flannel shirt fell to the floor, and her stunned gaze met his again at the feel of the intimate contact.
“Never be afraid to embrace what you are,” he breathed against her nape, and it seemed that silver flames danced in his eyes. “My beautiful one---I take in the sight of you like a thirst-starved man. And this deep, raw hunger that I have for you, now, you’ll fully grasp the depth of its rage and power. In a thousand lifetimes, my hunger will never be sated, and neither shall yours.”
Dragon Reign: A Paranormal Love Tale Page 40