by Laura Mills
They brought Thunder back to the barn to cool off and retrieved two fresh horses for a short breather ride. They discussed details of different horse breeds, details that would bore the average person but intrigued them.
Carrying on about horses John thought of how nice it was having a conversation with a woman that understood his passion. It was a nice change of pace from the common conversations of the high society females that usually waited around the track. She was different but what completed her unique personality was her natural beauty, and it was her beauty that stimulated his inner struggle to view her only as his student. Being Monday hadn’t changed anything, hadn’t made him forget that incredible kiss he experienced, the one she had participated in. In fact, it was all he could do not to glare at her mouth in excess. Still he thought he had acted cool and calm about the situation. Of course, the slap on her behind was meant to shake her nervousness, and it had worked.
When they returned Melissa needed to verify their arrangement to make sure they agreed upon the reality of their situation. To have a relationship with a man, even a fleeting one she noted as she glanced at the profile of her mentor, had not been her top priority, and in the case of her mentor it would no doubt be temporary. She couldn’t risk the possible pain she would endure if she let their business arrangement turn intimate and personal. No, she would set him straight now.
They rode at a pace of leisure toward the barn when Melissa cleared her throat to inform him, “Lord Blackburn, I think it’s necessary for us to both agree upon our training arrangement,” she began and broke off as she took another glance toward him, curious of his reaction. When he didn’t respond she continued, “That being strictly professional. I feel it’s better that way.” He had to know what she was referring to. Figuring his impossible attitude had taken over she faced forward to let her words sink in.
He’d heard what she said but he knew differently. She had responded to him when he kissed her and he couldn’t ignore that. Perhaps it was for the better, he thought, not to start anything at all, but it wasn’t that simple for him. He’d already had a taste of her and he wanted more. Her obvious innocence required more time so he decided to give her that time, the length of time for training, and then there would no longer be the issue of professionalism standing in the way. He would have his choice of women to keep him otherwise occupied during that time if he wished. “That’s fine, we’re in agreement,” he responded and turning toward her he added out of daring interest, “Is there someone else?”
How utterly bold, she thought. That had nothing to do with what she was talking about. Her gaze was direct with his. “Can’t you agree without concerning yourself with matters that are none of your business?” she asked, perturbed.
He cast a fixed look in her direction as the idea of another man showing her the art of lovemaking irritated him, which was what propelled him to ask such a question in the first place. Now he had to answer for it but not before she answered him. “Well, is there?”
She decided to indulge him this time, just so they could move on. “No, I do not have a man in my life. Why you persist in this matter with me I’ll never know.” She shook her head with a roll of her eyes. Returning her gaze upon him, his conquering smile astonished her, so she added, “Lovemaking is not a top priority in my life as it seems to be in yours.” Then she turned away from him as they reached the barn. Proud of her final statement, feeling that he had finally gotten her message, she missed the utter look of shock on his face.
The message he received from her spirited words displayed a very innocent nature that needed some coaxing. Now she had challenged him. “Well that’s obvious. Perhaps you should try lovemaking sometime, you might like it.”
He was blatant in his response as his piercing eyes challenged her. He always brought her down a peg or two but this time she was ready for him. “And I’d have an accommodating teacher, wouldn’t I Lord Blackburn?”
They both stopped their horses for they were back at the barn now. Both stayed seated, sitting there with an intense glare between them. After a moment, Melissa pulled her gelding around so she could face John while their horses nudged muzzles.
“I won’t argue with that,” he told her and without consciousness his eyes trailed along her body.
“Finally, we agree on something,” she was saying but abruptly stopped speaking when her eyes found lust in his through and through as they steadied on her face. “Please stop. Why are you staring at me like that?”
He knew the teasing should stop but it couldn’t be helped. “I was wondering if you were chilled?” he said as his eyes fell to her bosom.
After following his focus, her immediate response was to cross her arms over her chest and in continued mortification noticed warmth springing into her cheeks. “Perhaps I am,” she answered, unable to get a handle on what was taking place, but when she saw a teasing grin form on his arrogant mouth, she claimed enough energy to carry on like nothing unusual had happened. “As long as we’re agreeable on our arrangement, I assume we’ll resume training on Wednesday?”
John knew that more than likely arousal was more of a reality for her than being cold. She didn’t want to admit it, even if the air temperature they basked in was well warm enough. “Yes, on Wednesday. Does that suit you?” he inquired to make sure. She was quite the spitfire today.
She nodded and they went their separate ways.
Later that same afternoon John and Robert were sitting in a local pub completing their schedules of future races and training sessions for the weeks ahead. Robert poured more brandy into their glasses, noticing how unusually quiet John seemed to be. At first Robert decided not to interfere but then John got testy.
Robert watched as John continued scribbling out a schedule, taking frequent sips of brandy in between. Robert couldn’t stand it anymore and had to ask, “What’s the frustration?”
John picked up his glass and stared into it, then took another swig. Lifting his eyes to Robert he responded with a half smile. “You noticed, huh?” feeling the comforting smoothness of the familiar liquid sliding down his throat.
Robert inhaled the fumes of his own glass, filling his mouth with the amber liquid as well. “It’s hard not to,” he answered, adding, “Of late, you’re not pleased with the stable boys, the riders, even the horses you’ve been looking at.”
“Yes, I know,” he agreed.
“And now the schedule. What’s going on?” Robert and John were always direct with each other.
“I’m not sure exactly,” John replied. He’d always been an easygoing person. He always remained calm and collected and never got riled enough to attack anyone verbally unless outright provoked, but presently everything irritated him. One could look at him wrong and he’d fire off. Afterwards he’d be sure to apologize but his reactions proved disturbing, especially to himself.
“Is it the young lass you’ve been training?” Robert questioned, concerned with his partner’s state of mind.
“Could be.”
“Well you’ve never taught a woman before, perhaps you’re uncomfortable with it.”
“It’s more than that Robert. She’s different. She understands horses, she’s determined, and I’m not sure how to deal with her.” He took another swig. “She’s my student, yet I think about her often in other ways,” he explained, feeling ridiculous to admit that he yearned for her.
“Wanting to mix business with pleasure, huh?” Robert inquired and then commented, “I don’t blame you John. From what I’ve seen of her, she’s a beautiful young lady.”
John answered with a smile.
“It’s obvious you must be thinking about her John. I’ve never seen you turn away so many women in my life,” Robert smiled while trying to cheer him up, knowing this had to be a serious issue for John. He’d never seen him in this sort of predicament before.
It was a mystery to John, knowing he could have his choice of women yet he made no effort to pursue his physical needs. “It’s dr
iving me mad. I have no desire to be with other women. And Melissa and I get along so well, until . . .” he stopped talking as he had revealed more than he had wanted.
“Until?” Robert pursued, not letting John off the hook as he’d already said too much.
“Until it involves sex,” John finally said and looked around the pub while casually taking another sip of brandy.
“She doesn’t find you charming? I find that hard to believe.” Robert chuckled, knowing John could charm his way in any situation if need be.
A sly grin cast across John’s lips as his gaze steadied back to Robert. “I don’t think that’s it, but I’m positive she’s still a virgin. I’m thinking that’s the reason behind her dramatic reactions.”
“What have you done, John? Or tried to do?” Robert asked, the anticipation paining him.
“Not much except kissed her once, and the odd thing is I was angry with her when I did it. I wanted to strangle her pretty little neck.” Frustration creased his features at the memory.
“Strangling her is not going to get results John.” Robert smiled, feeling true compassion for his best friend.
“Well, I’ve decided to be professional about this and if after her training the attraction remains, well, who knows.” Even as he said the words, their meanings weren’t solid.
“John, are you brooding because she’s a virgin?” Robert asked as his brow arched in curiosity. Robert on occasion had experienced the art of deflowering, but John had not.
“Hell no. After all, I have you to refer to if I have any inquiries,” he said with a devious smile.
Robert filled with excitement. “So are you planning on deflowering Miss Howard?”
John’s smile changed to a frown. “Robert, her virginity is of no consequence to me and truly I do not plan to be intimate with her.” He let out an exasperated breath of air. “I can’t be it wouldn’t be very professional.”
“But you want to. You want to so badly you can taste it, I can tell. And this is the whole reason for your outrageous attitude, isn’t it?” Robert beamed proudly when he was confident that he had come up with the conclusion.
“I won’t deny wanting her, but it’s out of the question. I just have to come to terms with it.” A vision of Mr. Howard flashed before him. The awkward request he had of John flooded his mind but John didn’t feel anything had changed outside of wanting to bed his daughter because he found her attractive. Certainly his personal feelings toward Melissa hadn’t changed, just the physical part, and the physical part he could control.
“Well you need to find some kind of release, old chap. It’s not like you to bite everyone’s head off.”
“Yes, I know, I’m working on it. She caught me off guard, that’s all.” John seemed satisfied that he had solved his dilemma.
While John took another swig of his drink, Robert leaned forward as if to emphasize his next point. “Who are you fooling, John? That young lady’s got a noose around your neck and it’s getting tighter every day. I’d like to meet this little tamer.”
John about choked on his drink and replied with an arch in his brow above widened eyes. “Noose? Tamer? Robert, I think you’ve gone mad. Like I said, we get along except for the issue of sex, so if that issue is out of the question there shouldn’t be any problems, right?” Robert was right, John realized, he was fooling himself.
Robert reclined in his chair. “Well, my best friend, it looks like you’ve got everything under control. There’s just one more thing?”
“What’s that?” John asked, getting frustrated again.
“What about Vanessa? She’s not going to be easy to turn away.”
“True enough. I’ll deal with her when the time comes. She has other suitors to keep her busy,” he concluded.
“Not for long. You’re her favorite, remember?”
Emptying the remainder of brandy in his mouth, he repeated to Robert, “Like I said, I’ll deal with her when the time comes.”
“I hear you, but you need to make a decision about this lass you’re obsessing over. I don’t want to lose my best friend to insanity.”
“I know.” he said, smiling at his good friend.
“Well, I have a late engagement,” he said as he lifted from the chair.
“Rose?”
“Yes, lovely Rose. Until tomorrow then?”
“It will have to be tomorrow evening, I’ll be training Miss Howard tomorrow most of the day,” John informed him.
“Miss Howard? You’re behaving more professional by the moment,” Robert said as he strode toward the door chuckling. “Tomorrow night, then.”
“Ha, ha,” John replied to Robert’s bantering. He reached for the almost empty bottle of brandy and poured the remainder into his glass, determined to finish every last drop, and then he ordered another bottle.
John kept wondering why on earth he drank himself into oblivion, and on a weeknight when he knew what his schedule entailed. With one hand on the reins, the other rubbing his face, he tried erasing the stagnant fog that swam around in his head. Topping it off were the daggers piercing his eyes. His hand lifted to his forehead to shield against the bright morning sky. Cursing every movement that made his head pound at what seemed like the bumpiest ride he’d ever had on Clara, he groaned at the invisible hammer hitting his head and began cursing at Clara when she stepped into a pothole. Without delay he apologized to his mare. It wasn’t her fault that he’d let himself be an empty well for alcohol last night. His squinted focus spotted a figure standing in the near distance, a golden- haired figure, and the answer became clear, the only thing clear at the moment. She was the culprit. This was her fault.
But when he arrived by her side, still sitting atop Clara, he looked down into her faultless hazel eyes and realized this hangover was his own fault. Being careful not to snap at her he returned her cheerful smile, as best he could, envious of her happy mood.
“Good morning. Isn’t it a glorious morning, Lord Blackburn?” she said, eager to get started with her next lesson.
“Glorious? I don’t know,” he started to say, leaving his sentence unfinished due to the stabbing pain in his head from moving to get off his horse.
He caught sight of Melissa launching toward him. He rested against his mare for support, feeling her warm hand on his arm. His clouded gaze went to her hand and he heard her say, “Are you all right? What’s wrong with you?”
He swallowed, mustering up enough control to appear normal. Standing straight, her hand fell away, and for that he was grateful. The warmth from her hand seemed too inviting. He gave her another smile. “I’m fine. I just moved too fast and everything got hazy for a moment,” he explained and took out his timepiece from the saddle, taking hold of it in one hand while his other hand came up as a shield once again. “I’m quite fine. Are you ready, then?” he asked, feeling honored that she would worry so much about him.
She studied him some more and without a doubt was not convinced. “Yes, I’m ready, but I don’t believe you’re all right.”
Was he that obvious? “Why not?” he said with a razor edge to his voice, desiring only to be in his cozy bed at the moment and not being asked twenty questions. He’d much rather be sleeping off this horrendous hangover than discussing his pain with her.
“There’s no need to get short with me, my lord. I can’t help it if you look as bad as you feel.”
“Thank you for that,” he told her with sarcasm, leading Clara to the corral.
Melissa followed him to the gate. “I didn’t mean that literally. All I meant was, well, your eyes for example.” With hands on hips, she regarded his movements as he strode past her in slow motion.
He grabbed the reins on her gelding and began leading him out to the fields. “What’s wrong with my eyes, Melissa?”
He heard nothing until she fell in step with him on the opposite side of her gelding. “It’s apparent you’re having trouble seeing this morning. You’ve been squinting ever since you arrived. What happened t
o you?”
That was a good question, he thought. The answer always seemed to stem from a particular young lady. “I can see fine, it just hurts to do so this morning. I’ll be better tomorrow.”
“Do you have some kind of eye illness?” she asked, unaware of how minor his sickness really was.
“No.”
A breath of frustration burst out at his short and direct reply. “Why is it always so hard to get a detailed answer from you?” she asked with a rise in her voice.
“Good lord, please keep your voice down,” he lashed out, letting the reins drop and stopping to put his fingertips on his temples to apply pressure.
She came around to face him, filled with frantic concern. “John, you’re scaring me.”
“Well, you remembered my name,” he said, a light chuckle escaping his lips, and even that hurt. Both hands came up to shield his eyes that found hers. “Melissa, I have a hangover,” he confessed, expecting her to rage at him when all she showed was more concern.
“Hangover? How much did you drink?”
“Enough to regret getting out of bed this morning,” he responded in a low pitch.
“Perhaps you should have rested, John. I would have understood.”
Her attitude surprised him. Something had put her in a good mood and he wondered what? Here he was blaming her for his rough behavior and she treated him like she cared. Boy, his professionalism was starting off top notch. Wouldn’t Robert laugh in his face right about now? He needed to face his demons and make it through the day. “Melissa, I did this to myself. I shall suffer the consequences. Now, did you examine Thunder like I did on Monday?”
Melissa strolled back around the opposite side of Thunder, biding her time in answering him.
His head bent forward, looking around Thunder so he could see her face. “Did you?”