by Laura Mills
Her mouth fell open. Setting the spoon down, she hobbled over to him with her arms crossed over her chest. “Let me clarify the plan for you, then. You were to check on me periodically, perhaps come by once a day and make sure I’m still alive,” she informed him and couldn’t help the sarcasm.
He stepped back into the kitchen, coming closer to her, and threw an all-knowing smile her way. “The plans have changed. I have free time so I’m staying here twenty-four hours a day, every day, until your aunt returns.” She was about to speak when he cut her off. “That way I can be sure you’ll stay alive.” He didn’t wait for her response. He thought he’d made himself quite clear.
After he left, she stomped her foot into the hardwood floor. Frustration commanded her to do so. Not a moment later she was sorry she gave in to that frustration for it was her bad leg that did the stomping. The first half of a painful yell emerged before her hand could cover her mouth in time. She counted to five, knowing John would be there before reaching six.
Sure enough. “What happened?” he asked, his eyes widened in alarm.
She tried her hardest, with gritted teeth, not to reach for her leg with him standing there. She couldn’t answer him right away because of the pain shooting through her calf.
He stepped closer. “What happened?” This time his eyes showed concern and his tone lowered a notch.
“I stmpd th grnd wth my bad lg,” she muffled through slender fingers, her eyes watering from the pain she withheld.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.” he moved his ear toward her mouth, using his hand to fan behind it.
Her eyes molded to his profile. Even that part of him was stunning. Her hand ripped away from her mouth and she spoke into his ear. “I said, I stomped the ground with my bad leg.”
His face turned into hers. “Because you were upset with me, right?” he said and his deep, calculating voice consumed her, being that close.
“Yes,” she hissed back. Unaware of his intentions her body was swept up and she was carried to a chair at the dining table.
John arranged another chair adjacent to hers so she could elevate her sore leg. She started to protest when he said he would serve supper. Ignoring her, he proceeded.
With soup, bread and drinks before them, John couldn’t help but comment. “Damn, you’re stubborn,” he said, giving a shake of his head.
She leaned across the table toward him. “Yes I’m stubborn. I have to be to deal with your overbearing ways.”
“I think you’ve twisted things a bit here, sweetheart. Maybe your stubbornness brings out my overbearing nature,” he responded and began eating, essentially ending that part of their conversation.
They were quiet during supper but both ate and drank with renewed enthusiasm. When John began clearing the table Melissa figured this was as good a time as any to confess. It took three attempts before words could come out of her mouth.
By the time she found the courage to talk to him he’d sat down and was sipping his drink. Good, she thought, his glass is half empty. He’ll be more relaxed now. “John, I have a confession to make.”
His eyes lifted from his motion of swirling the amber liquid around to find her focus on him serious. “Yes.”
It was easier talking to him when he wasn’t watching her with in-depth concentration. How to begin? “On the day of the accident involving my leg, I never told you the reason,” she cleared her throat and tried again. “The reason I ran away from your manor as I did.” He continued to listen while his eyes were peering into hers. “I had been waiting for your return when I decided to venture to your library.” He didn’t move a muscle. “When I approached the closed doors of the library I heard voices from inside.” A hand came up to shield her eyes from his with her fingers rubbing into her forehead. “A man and a woman’s voice,” she mumbled and waited, hoping he’d already figured out what she was trying to tell him.
“So?” he said shrugging his shoulders and thinking nothing of it.
She hadn’t given enough detail. “Well, they were talking, or more like groaning, to each other.”
“What?” He thought it over and then started to chuckle. “You must have heard Robert and Rose. They’re the only two I would ever allow that kind of freedom in my home.”
He still hadn’t caught on. “I realize that now, John, but at the time . . .” She didn’t need to finish when his eyes grew bold and the peek of a grin stole across his mouth.
“Are you telling me that you thought it was me in the library with another woman?” he asked.
He almost sounded excited by her mistake. “All I heard was groaning. I couldn’t tell otherwise. I was at your manor,” she cried, set back that he could be so indifferent to the situation.
In a matter of seconds he apologized. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you. Again,” he added. Her jealousy flattered him. So, she did have a stronger attraction than close friendship toward him. Yes, very flattering indeed. He pondered instead of giving further response and hadn’t noticed his preoccupation until his gleaming eyes found her observing him with dismay.
Her eyes narrowed on him. Why couldn’t they agree on something? “I knew you would react differently than I expected. I’m trying to apologize for my behavior of late, but you cause me to be so annoyed I can’t think straight.”
His tone softened with sincerity. “Melissa, thank you for telling me the truth,” he said and her response was to roll her eyes at him. “I mean it.”
Lifting her achy leg from the extra chair she steadied both feet and stood. Looking at him now her anger began diffusing and all of a sudden those nervous, odd sensations came back. Her body grew warmer as he perused her at a leisurely pace through black velvet lashes.
Being alone with him made it very tempting to give in to the desires he fired in her. Nakedness came to mind under his scrutinizing eyes that feasted on her. Feeling uncomfortable, she couldn’t take his seductive glare any longer. “Can’t you say something and stop staring at me like you’re going to eat me alive?” she said, standing straight and proud.
As if reading her mind, he was presumptuous, tilting his head to the side. “Is that an offer?” his silky voice asked without shame.
At his words her glance fell to his fingers holding the glass, remembering the way they’d brought pleasure to her body, causing her to flush and heed a familiar sensitivity she got only around John. The need to gain control came on like a rampage. Their situation needed resolution now that the truth had been revealed regarding the accident. “What about the agreement you put off in Dublin?” she asked, ignoring his implied question.
The stare of his eyes reflected into hers, not with anger but with careful consideration. An extended moment passed before he replied, “I’m tired of making agreements with you. They don’t work between us. It’s time to face reality Melissa and forget about damned agreements,” he told her in an aggravated tone because he was starting to care too much for this independent young lass, and worse, his lust for her was reaching arresting proportions. To him they were meant to be lovers. It was time, way past time, to discover each other intimately.
Then again, he decided, maybe they should talk about their conversation in Dublin. Perhaps this time she would admit her true feelings about when he had touched her. He straightened his head. “Agreements aside, lets talk about Dublin. Why don’t you start by answering the question I asked you?”
With eyes averted and uneasiness casting across her features, Melissa responded, “Which question was that?”
His full lips curved into a delicious grin above the rim of his glass of brandy. Playing ignorant wouldn’t work with him. “Whether or not you enjoyed my fingers touching your beautiful body,” he reminded her and adored her reaction of enlarged eyes and opened mouth of innocence she displayed so often. Was it always innocent, he wondered?
She cursed him mentally for his directness. “Why do you have to say it like that?” she asked in a harsh whisper while her darting eyes lifted to his. “You c
ould refresh my memory by mentioning the hayloft and I would know immediately to what you refer.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Melissa, it’s just you and I here, sweet. I thought I would give you a detailed description to refresh your memory.”
Her lips tightened. “I don’t need a detailed description. I remember it well.”
A brow perched. “You do? You say that like you were disgusted by it.”
She failed to comment as her eyes were drifting down to her fidgeting fingers. How was she supposed to answer him without thoroughly shaming herself? As she contemplated, he spoke, the pressure to reply lay heavy upon her. Her hazel eyes lifted, finding his gaze eager and requesting.
“Well?” he continued to pursue.
“I wasn’t disgusted. It was surprising, that’s all.” She had to say something but could almost bet he wouldn’t be satisfied with what she’d said. He had this way about him, she was learning, that could persist without him saying a word. Feeling vulnerable and drained from emotional uproar she gave in, hoping her admittance would settle matters right here and now. “Oh, all right. It was incredible. It’s all I’ve thought about. That’s why I needed to get away from here, from you. I need to think, John.” With emotions strung high her true feelings emerged, not meaning to. “I’m afraid,” came out in a shaky tremor.
“Afraid of what?” he asked, sitting up.
“Losing my freedom. Losing my independence. You,” she told him as she gestured a shaky hand toward him.
“Is this independent streak an inheritance from your mother?” he asked.
“Yes, I suppose,” she agreed and continued on by giving details. “And I have all the advantages. I’m not married, no children, no responsibilities holding me back right now.”
He nodded in response to the reasons she gave. “Well that explains a lot,” he commented, wondering what her reply would be to his next question. “Where do I fit in your future?”
How to answer him? Should he hear the absolute truth? “Because of our working relationship, I feel we have become close friends. I cherish that. Besides training, I’d enjoy spending time with you occasionally. You know, the races perhaps?” Her explanation seemed vague but the rules she set for their business relationship had demanded she not give in. She had broken her rule once with him already and now she must abide with strict effort.
“I can’t handle occasionally,” he told her, raking a hand over his pulled back hair. His eyes peered back to her. “It’s obvious to me that our relationship has gone beyond mentor and student, beyond just friends. Would you agree?” he asked, knowing she couldn’t deny it.
To deny him the obvious truth would be pointless. Of course she agreed. Friends don’t kiss and touch the way they had that cool afternoon sitting high in the barn, sheltered by bales of hay. Yes, there were more than friendship feelings going on between them. She had tried to stop them, she really did, even after he’d touched her, but it hadn’t worked. He was all she thought about and now, well, now if she admitted this to him, what action would proceed?
Her dress swayed with her graceful movements of staggered pacing before the dining table. Unaware of the bold gestures her body presented to him, she answered truthfully. “Yes, I would.”
Chapter Fourteen
As she stood opposite him he rose from the chair, taking his glass with him. Melissa, feeling uneasy, watched him maneuver toward her. She desperately wanted a sip of his brandy to ease her nerves. When he stood very close to her, without thinking about it, she took the glass from his hand, her fingers brushing his, and sipped a decent amount of the intoxicating liquid. Her eyes closed at the smooth burning in her throat.
Her movements caused a stirring in his groin and he wasn’t going to conceal his hardened desire this time. They had finally agreed on something about their relationship, it was time to satisfy their raging passions.
Handing him the glass, her eyes traveled the length of his body while he drank, beginning with his silken black hair, down to his broad chest covered in crisp white linen, and stopping at the profound swell in the crotch of his nut-brown trousers. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his seductive ones.
He set his drink on the table. A lone finger went to her face, tracing along her golden hairline. “What shall we do about it?” he asked, watching her eyes steadily focus on him and having her sole attention made him want her even more.
“I’m not sure,” she responded through trembling lips.
Slipping his fingers through her soft, flowing hair, his head bent so he could kiss her. Their eyes transfixed with their lips a breath apart. When their mouths finally met, their eyes closed and they moved in a gentle rhythm against each other. Both were forgetting the anger that had transpired between them, both were intent on fulfilling the longing to kiss each other again. Waiting any longer was a true test of their sanity and exploration of mouths was a priority at the moment. Temporarily satisfied, John left her mouth to breathe kisses along the line of her jaw and then down her neck, murmuring into her ear, “I believe you want me as much as I want you,” he told her while his hands took hers and placed them on his hips.
His heated sensations continued down her neck. Her eyes remained closed as she replied, “I believe you’re right.” Lost in his kisses and the passion rising in her, for a time she was open to him, giving him unrestricted rein to kiss her anywhere he wanted. Anticipation seized her, making her fingers grip into the sides of his waist before sensually crushing into his body. Strong hands traveled from her back down to her buttocks, filling themselves with taut rounded flesh as he pressed his evident arousal into her belly. His actions unleashed waves of desire that delightfully flowed through her body. Becoming eager for more of his touch caused an alarm to go off from the conscious side of her mind reminding her of their status. As reality was making its case, her fight to ignore the warning lessened, and she used the last ounce of strength left to tell him, “But I can’t.”
Surprised by her sudden change of mind, he placed a gentle kiss on her reddened lips and inquired out of breath, “Why not?”
Her opening eyes lingered with his. “Because it goes against everything,” she started to say and then went mute. She didn’t want to stop, but determination had her hanging on by a thread.
“It goes against what?” he asked as his voice turned rough. He couldn’t stand it any longer, this battle she insisted on fighting within herself. “Our wanting each other? What is so bad about that? Tell me, Melissa.”
Tears began forming in her eyes.
His tone softened. “Please, don’t cry. I’m not trying to upset you,” he told her and took a deep, steadying breath. “Don’t you know that in the beginning I felt the same way about us, the need to keep us professional?” He laid his forehead against hers. “I’ve tried, Melissa, I’ve really tried, but I want you so much.”
His staggered puffs of breath heated the shiver of her lips. “John, please don’t,” she pleaded and shut her eyes as she was enduring the honesty of his words.
He lifted away so he could see her face. “Why do you say that when you don’t mean it?” he implored.
Her moistened eyes opened, followed by quivering lips. “You’re making this hard for me,” she whispered.
“You’re making me hard Melissa,” he blatantly revealed.
“Please don’t say that,” she cried because the rules she set for herself were bending and breaking bit by bit.
“Why not? It’s the truth,” he said and then asked her, “Do you want me?” It was a direct question, requesting a direct answer.
Why am I denying myself? She wondered as her eyes searched the simmering gray pools of his. “Yes,” she replied in a mesmerized tone. John kissed her in response. When his lips came off of hers, she answered again, “Yes, I do.” He kissed her again, this time with possession.
He spoke against their mingled lips, “Then take me.” In an instant her body grew tense.
“John, I, I don’t know how,”
she said, feeling her cheeks flush and become warm, while her limbs stiffened and strained.
Simultaneously, his lips curved into a smile against her mouth. “Then let me take you first so you can learn,” he said with breathless urgency.
He’d never been this shaky with a woman, feeling like he’d never made love before. When their lips met again both were ravenous and consuming. John held her steadfast, pulling her body along the length of his with one hand while his opposite hand moved between them. He took one of her hands from his hip and dragged it downward to his constrained erection. His clasping hand guided hers in a stroking motion, having her learn exactly what she did to him. “Feel what you do to me?” he whispered against her mouth. “I’ve never been this hard before.” His hand stayed atop hers as they moved together, showing her in more detail how he liked to be touched.
Feeling his state of arousal, she had never dreamed it would give her pleasure, learning with a touch of her hand she possessed a unique power over him. He groaned louder when her fingers increased their grip. His breath grew more ragged when her thumb experimented with circular motions along the tip of him. The anticipation in his body awakened hers, escalating the longing to join her body with his. Their minds were in sync as well as their bodies because his next words were the ones she longed to hear.
“Let’s go to your bedroom,” John rasped. His potent suggestion had her following his lead. Picking up a candle from the table he took her hand in his and they stepped over to the bottom of the stairs. Handing her the candle, he lifted her in his arms and carried her up.
This time it wasn’t a dream. This time he was carrying her to the bedroom to make love. She was about to make love for the first time. The willpower needed to stop what was about to happen, disappeared. She wanted this experience.
Upon entering her room he set her down, taking the candle from her and placing it atop a tall dresser. Melissa stepped toward the bed and waited for him. Unfamiliar with what was about to take place, she relied solely on his guidance.