My Forbidden Mentor

by Laura Mills

  In relief he stretched out alongside her. “Are you chilled?” he asked since they were lying on top of the velvet coverlet.

  “No, not at all,” she responded.

  John lay on his side with his elbow bent and the palm of his hand supporting his head. His free hand went to the golden hair straying along her cheek. His fingers placed each strand behind her ear in slow motion. “Melissa.” The tone of his voice captured her attention. Their eyes caught and managed to hold. “I realize I’ve been a bastard of late. I was enraged that another man could get close to my wife, even under my own roof. It bothered me a great deal, to the point of blaming you for his actions.” He paused to scan her body and then his eyes met hers again. “You’re my life. Don’t you understand that nobody can or ever will take your place? I don’t want to lose you, Melissa. I know now for a fact that being married won’t stop another man from trying to get close to you. Jack has proven that.”

  “I hadn’t known that by offering friendship to a man it would create other ideas in his head. That was not my intention.”

  “I know that, and there isn’t anything wrong with having gentlemen friends. It’s inevitable being in our trade, but with sorts like Jack it’s different. Perhaps it started out as friendship but somewhere along the way it changed for him.” John’s hand went to her belly, smoothing over the roundness. “Sending you that bracelet made his message clear.”

  “Why did you stay upset so long, John? Why didn’t we talk sooner?”

  “Because my anger toward Jack wasn’t the only reason I was upset.” His hand left her belly so his fingers could thread through his long hair. “You lied to me, Melissa. I can’t tolerate lying. That bothered me more than what Jack did.”

  Her breath hitched until she inquired, “What did I lie about, John? I told you the truth about Jack and I.”

  “You told me afterward, when it had already come out in the open. By not telling me about seeing him in the beginning you lied,” he explained.

  “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d overreact to nothing more than a fleeting friendship,” she responded.

  “Fleeting?” He chuckled. “Lord Melissa, it sounds like you’re describing an affair.”

  “That didn’t come out right. I meant because,” she rushed out.

  “I know what you meant,” he said, interrupting her. “But at the time my mind was insane. I wasn’t thinking clearly, so I imagined when you lied to me about running into Jack, perhaps an affair wasn’t so farfetched.”

  She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t seen it from his point of view. She should have known better than to lie to the most honest person she knew, but his reaction to the truth was what had scared her in the beginning. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a reason to think I would be involved with another man.”

  John smiled. “Inside in my heart I knew you were only friends with Jack, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. You’re a married woman. He has no right to come after you so blatantly.” He was quiet for a moment. “And it doesn’t excuse you for not being straight with me, no matter what my wrath would entail. You’d have survived it, you’re tough. You’re a Blackburn now.” His hand touched her cheek again. “Please be honest with me from now on. I don’t want to go through this hell again. I love you.”

  “I will, I promise. I love you as well, please believe that,” she pleaded.

  “I do,” he murmured.

  She watched as he laid his head on the pillow, his arm coming around her shoulders to pull her snug against him.

  At last they were man and wife again, holding each other like they always had. Although exhausted emotionally, Melissa continued to crave physical intimacy. Giving John release hadn’t been enough for her. Unexpectedly his warm hand caressed along her belly.

  John’s hand massaged the firm skin of her belly between them. “I don’t recall this being here before?” He grinned.

  Melissa returned a smile. “It’s been there. It’s just gotten bigger.”

  “How are you feeling these days?” he asked with genuine concern.

  His concern touched her. He hadn’t asked about the baby in a month or so, and when he had it had sounded like a requirement he made himself do, but this time it sounded heartfelt. “Splendid. The baby has moved, by the way.”

  His brows arched. “Really? A lot or once in a while?”

  “Once in a while.”

  “Does it hurt?”

  “No, not really. It feels different.” Having John’s interest again gave her comfort but thoughts of further intimacy caused her eyes to cast down before obtaining his attention again. “John?”

  “Hmm?” he answered idly, his darkening eyes gazing over her naked form.

  “Are you tired?”

  Her inquiry gained his full attention. “Not at all, why?”

  “I was wondering,” she trailed off, actually embarrassed to confront her husband with her passionate needs.

  “Wondering what?” he prodded, having a good idea of what she wanted by her shy reactions. After all, they hadn’t made love in almost three months. When she didn’t respond he revealed his knowledge of the situation. “What happened to being bold like you were a few moments ago?”

  “Pardon me?”

  “You just took what you wanted a few moments ago, forcefully I might add.”

  “Forcefully?” Her eyes stayed direct with his. “You didn’t act like you were in pain,” she said, accepting his teasing nature.

  “I was, but it was good pain.” He smiled so wide his eyes gleamed and his teeth shown bright. “I must say you surprised me.”

  “Well I had to do something to get your attention.” Her voice dropped an octave at the same time her eyes cast a rich glow of melting hazel.

  “You got it all right. It was good, by the way.” He trailed his hand from her belly up and over her hip to gently squeeze a handful of one buttock. “Incredibly good in fact,” he voiced with a catch in his breath.

  His breathy comment stirred her even more. “John, make love to me.”

  John reached over and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. “Turn the other way.”

  She did as he asked, although it took her some time to shift the weight of her belly. As soon as she lay relaxed on her side, with her back rubbing against his broad chest, she experienced a wave of heat along her entire backside.

  John had slid snug and form fitting against his wife and didn’t waste any time with preliminaries. They both wanted this connection between them, so embedding himself immediately into her honeyed passage of warmth seemed pertinent. “Is this what you want, sweetheart?” he invited with a rotation of his hips.

  “Yes,” she panted.

  “Is that so? Well, I have to caution you,” he paused, leaning his mouth into her ear and pushing his hips tight against her buttocks. “I feel the same need and it’s been too damn long. You may not be able to walk tomorrow.”

  “I don’t care, it will be worth it.”

  “Mm, indeed,” he responded with an inward groan.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Christmas time had arrived. For the Blackburn household it was a joyous holiday. Joined by Robert, Rose, Miss Beckett, and Charles, no less, it was only the six of them and they had the best time together. They enjoyed a feast for Christmas supper. Ellen had outdone herself with the help of Miss Beckett’s culinary skills. After supper they all gathered in the sitting room to exchange pleasantries.

  Their small celebration lasted until midnight, when one by one each retired to guest rooms. John gathered a sleepy Melissa in his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedchamber. He’d been holding back all night with a surprise for her. Only Robert had been aware of what John had kept hidden.

  Now, as Melissa undressed, John was eager to tell her the news. “Melissa?” he said while stripping out of his own clothing. He watched her climb into bed unaware of his excitement. Her eyes were heavy, fighting to stay open. “Sweetheart, I have a surprise for yo
u.” He grinned, his hand smoothing her hair away from her face.

  His handsome grinning mouth dominated her hazy view, and his deep gentle voice spoke of having something for her? Was the man always in arousal mode? Ever since their reconciliation John couldn’t stop touching her. It wasn’t that she was complaining but the man did seem insatiable these days. Unfortunately, keeping up with him had become a problem because she’d become so tired lately. Being nearly seven months pregnant, the babe required her to sleep more often.

  She smiled to ease the blow. “My love, I desire to accept your surprise,” her eyes cast a glimpse toward his groin, “but I’m so tired right now. Let me rest a few hours first, all right?”

  John’s grin widened. He truly must have been making up for lost time. “Sweetheart, you’re misunderstanding what I mean.”

  “Hm?” she responded.

  “I have some good news and I wanted to share it with you alone.”

  “Good news?” That got her eyes opened again.

  He studied her, realizing what achieving this goal would mean to her.

  “John, if it’s good why are you stalling?” He had her curious now.

  “I see you haven’t conquered the art of patience yet,” he commented.

  “I never will with all your teasing and taunting,” she replied with a pout.

  “I have to admit my patience was tried pretty mightily today with this news.” His grin turned devilish.

  Her pout turned into a frown of utter frustration. “Damn it, John, tell me.”

  “Ease up on the language, sweet. You need to set an example for our child.”

  Melissa couldn’t stand it. He’d keyed up her interest, causing her to fully awaken as he proceeded to delay. She lifted onto her elbows and planted a hard kiss on his lips. “Did that get your attention?” His eyes widened in surprise. “Now tell me.”

  “Yes, my lady,” he conceded. “Lord Ainsworth has agreed to let you race at Catterick.” Melissa’s mouth dropped open. “Not only was he impressed with your riding abilities, but you accomplished your side of the bargain sufficiently. You by far surpassed the amount of signatures needed. You’re in, sweetheart.”

  “I can’t believe it. We did it. When did you find out?”

  “Only yesterday.”

  “That must have been torture. You know how much I’ve wanted this, you of anybody.” Her words ceased and sadness claimed the sparkle in her eyes.

  “What is it?”

  “My mother and father. They always encouraged my dreams and they’re not here to share it with me.”

  “Melissa.” John paused to remember the time when he had wished his mother had been alive to share in the celebration of his first thoroughbred turning champion. “They would have been proud of you, as am I. You have to believe that they are with you in spirit, that they are aware of your accomplishments.”

  “Yes, I suppose so,” she paused. “I’m so thankful you’re here. My life would be lost without you.”

  “You’re a strong, independent woman, Melissa. Your determination alone will get you far, even without my influence.” He leaned over and placed a tender caress of his lips upon her forehead. “Come now, this is a reason to celebrate, not sulk,” and he kissed her soundly on the lips.

  During the next couple of months John and Melissa spent a lot of time together. Most of the time they stayed indoors for the air had chilled significantly. They prepared mentally for the upcoming races in June, figuring Melissa could work on her physical conditioning once the babe was born and the weather had warmed.

  On the evening of March twelfth, Melissa retired early, saying her back ached and she needed to rest. John became suspicious because the whole day Melissa hadn’t been herself. Her energy level had dropped and at times she appeared in pain.

  John watched her while she slept, wondering if the baby was coming. He was about to turn and leave when in her sleep Melissa’s hands went to her stomach. Her brows creased and her breathing turned shallow. She must be in labor. John paced once, twice, three times the length of their bedchamber. Melissa moaned and John stopped pacing, immediately summoning Charles.

  Dr. Bennett arrived a short time later, and Miss Beckett right after him. Dr. Bennett examined Melissa and confirmed that indeed it was time. He shoveled out orders for supplies he needed while preparing himself by thoroughly washing his hands.

  John stood in the doorway of their bedchamber baffled. Everyone was rushing around taking part in the preparation while he stood there helpless, which was how he was feeling, helpless. He tried to see how his wife was holding up but there were so many people around her blocking her from his view.

  All at once the doctor ordered everyone out except Miss Beckett. John felt disregarded when his own bedchamber door shut in his face. Overwhelmed by the fact that Melissa was going through this alone he began pacing. He paced for what seemed like hours when he heard Melissa wail. John headed for the door, bursting through it, not caring what the doctor said as he strode with purpose toward the bed.

  Miss Beckett was trying to calm Melissa, as was Dr. Bennett, but Melissa fought progress with ear pitching screams. “I want my husband.”

  The moment she saw him her arms reached out to him. Miss Beckett rose from the chair so John could sit next to his wife. His heart beat fast and sweat beaded on his brow as her screams had terrified him. He leaned over and embraced her. “Shh, I’m here,” he whispered into her ear.

  Melissa’s arms tightened their grip around his back. Sobbing, she pleaded with him, “Don’t leave me. I’m scared, John, I’m so scared.”

  “I’m not going to leave. I’m staying right here,” John told her. Hearing the doctor clearing his throat he looked up in his direction.

  “You seem to relax her, so here’s what I want you to do, John. Take her hands in yours and let her squeeze,” Dr. Bennett suggested, at the same time noticing Melissa’s reluctance to let go of John. “Melissa, you need to breath, dear. John is staying, so take hold of his hands.”

  Melissa did as the doctor asked but kept her focus constant on her husband. He smiled and soothed and told her he loved her. Miss Beckett stood behind John and watched the miracle happen between these three people. Less than an hour later a fine healthy little girl was born, Anna Clarisse Blackburn.

  For the next few days Melissa lay resting in bed, her daughter in a cradle at her side. John would retire early so he could spend time with his family but would also rise early to work. He kept himself busy for Melissa’s sake, instinctually knowing she needed time to recuperate.

  By week’s end John knew Melissa would be getting restless being cooped up in bed so he decided to leave the track early one day. He thought she might enjoy a picnic by the stream behind their manor.

  He cracked open their bedchamber door and saw she was awake. As the door opened further he witnessed a sight he’d long dreamt of seeing and it took his breath away.

  Melissa was sitting up in bed with their daughter feeding at her breast. Sucking hungrily, the babe fed from her mother so naturally. Melissa watched their daughter as John did. He stepped toward mother and daughter, not rousing them until almost reaching the bed.

  Melissa looked up. “You’re home early. What a nice surprise.”

  John cleared his throat. The emotions stirring inside him were surreal as he observed his wife and daughter. “I thought you might like to get some fresh air,” he proposed before glancing up to capture Melissa’s softhearted expression. The entrancement of watching his daughter had monopolized his attention. “I’m having Ellen prepare some food for a picnic.”

  Melissa smiled at John’s reaction to the baby feeding. “That sounds wonderful. As soon as she’s done, we’ll go.”

  John sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “How does it feel?”

  Melissa gave him a knowing smile. “Natural. Stimulating in a way,” she chuckled. “Not quite as enticing as when you do it,” she complimented, making him grin.

  “I woul
d hope not, although I am curious about the taste of your milk.” His grin broadened, producing a rare dimple.

  It didn’t take much to catch onto his meaning. “Another time, my love, when we’re alone.”

  “Of course,” John gleamed.

  That afternoon their picnic proved to be enjoyable. It was only the two of them having private time together, sitting next to a sparkling stream of water, feeding each other and John having his first drink of nature’s essence from the bosom of his wife.

  Two weeks later John and Melissa were in the library one evening reading to their daughter when a knock came upon the open door. John looked up and it was Charles. “Yes, Charles?”

  “Um, I need to speak with Lady Blackburn, my lord.”

  Melissa handed the baby to John and rose from the couch, stepping toward Charles. He motioned her out of the library. “What is it, Charles?”

  She continued following him down the entry hall toward the front door. “Duke Albert, my lady. I’m not sure how to handle this situation.”

  “I’ll handle it, Charles. Thank you.” Charles trailed off as Melissa approached her father-in-law.

  “Lady Blackburn, you’re looking magnificent,” he commented while scanning her flat stomach. “I see the babe’s been born.”

  “Yes, about three weeks ago. You have a granddaughter.”

  “Is there any possibility of seeing her?” He stopped to watch her reaction. “I guessed the babe would be born by now and that is the purpose of my visit.”

  “Well, she’s in the library with John.” She gestured him to proceed down the hall to the library. “I can’t promise how it will go, Duke Albert.”

  “I understand, and I assure you I will be on my best behavior for my granddaughter’s sake.”

  “Very well, this way then.” She led him through the open double door of the library. John was standing with his daughter in his arms observing his array of books on the bookshelves. His back faced his wife and father so he hadn’t seen them come in. “John, our daughter has a visitor,” Melissa informed him.