Cashmere and Camo

by Erin Nicholas

  Until she’d brought up Ladies’ Night Out. And Cori and Ava had listened and loved the ideas she had for the event. In all the time they’d talked about the shop, she’d just gone along, but it was fun being creative like this and pitching ideas and brainstorming with them on the details. Did they ever wonder why she didn’t do more? Why she didn’t try to get more involved? Did they ever wonder what they could do to make her want to be more involved? Did they think it was them? Because it really wasn’t. It was all her. And she suddenly hated the idea that they might think she didn’t care.

  She looked at them both. She could tell them that she loved them and wanted to be a more integral part of everything, of course. But, that didn’t seem quite enough. Instead, she needed to show them. Show them that she loved working with them, that she cared about the pie shop, and that she wanted to be a real part of things instead of just a tagalong.

  And she had an idea about how she could do that.

  It was really just an inkling of an idea right now, but it was taking shape, and she felt a little bubble of excitement rising up.

  Having great sex and great ideas. Yeah, she thought she could get used to all of this.

  11

  Noah sat at the desk in his front office. Something he never did. He was always too busy in the garage. And he hated paperwork. His billing and ordering systems were computerized, and he did okay keeping up with them. If he got behind, his mom would come down and help.

  Still, it amazed him how much freaking paper still came across this desk. But he wasn’t sitting here because of any of that. He was icing his knuckles and thinking. The thinking had been going on for four days. He’d been trying to avoid it, tamping thoughts down as soon as he realized they were taking over. But today a few stray thoughts about Brynn and how gorgeous she was, and how amazing it was to be the guy she let so close, and that he’d been kind of an asshole to bring up her next date that way, had suddenly snuck up on him, and he’d whacked his knuckles against the engine he was working on.

  After that, he couldn’t stop the barrage of thoughts and emotions and memories.

  Now he was getting nothing done and his hand hurt.

  Apparently four days was the absolute limit to how long he could go without seeing her without going crazy. He’d missed her on day one, but had decided to give her some space when she didn’t come to the garage. Day two, he’d gone to the diner for lunch but had stayed on Parker’s side where he could see her but not be in her way.

  Exactly where he probably should have stayed all along. On the side. Watching out for her, but not in her face. Or in her life.

  Day three, he’d decided she was better off if he just stayed away entirely. His main goal was for her to be happy, and he had been the one to upset her the other night. In fact, he’d kind of ruined her first sexual experience. Out of self-preservation, he’d wanted to put a wall up. And he’d hurt her doing it. Brynn had put up her own walls for a long time. She’d stayed to herself, let her “weirdness” put a barrier between her and her dad and being hurt by his inability to relate to her. She’d extended that to pretty much everyone else as well. Then she’d come here and let him past those walls. And instead of just appreciating that and being grateful that a woman like her would even let him close enough to buy her a cup of coffee, not to mention all the delicious things she’d let him to do her, he’d gotten worried about how he felt. And he’d hurt her.

  Now it was day four, and he was going to see her. Tonight. But not because he was awesome at reaching out and admitting when he was wrong and apologizing. Because he completely sucked at all of that. He was going to see her because it was game night. The time when he got together with five of his favorite people and just hung out.

  Of course, tonight would also include Brynn’s date.

  Noah didn’t have to be there. It was a date, but her sisters and Evan and Parker would be there. She didn’t need Noah.

  But Rudy hadn’t asked him to be sure someone took care of her. He’d asked Noah to do it.

  Just like Jared hadn’t said, “Be sure you hire someone to take care of my mom if something ever happens to me.” He’d said, “Take care of her, Noah. For me.” Yeah, they’d been drunk, and young, and feeling sentimental and mushy. But Noah knew Jared had meant it. Noah had meant it when he’d asked Jared to take care of his family too.

  So he had to go tonight. He had to be there for her. And he had to not be a dick about it.

  “Meow.”

  Startled out of his thoughts, Noah glanced toward the doorway between the garage and the office. Penn was rubbing himself along the doorframe.

  “Meow.”

  “Uh, hey, bud,” Noah said. He turned the swivel seat to face the cat. Penn came the rest of the way through the door. He blinked his big green eyes at Noah.

  “Meow.”

  Noah sighed. “She’s not here. Sorry.” The cat hadn’t had a warm lap in four days either. “It’s totally on me. I’ll get you some treats next time I’m at the store.”

  Penn came forward and sniffed the toe of Noah’s boot. Noah held completely still. This was as close as the cat had been to him in months without Brynn. Once in a while, if Noah was a little late to fill his dish, he’d come trotting across the shop, but he stayed out of arm’s reach.

  He jumped up onto the desk and Noah watched him check over piles of papers and envelopes. Then he turned toward Noah. Noah reached out a caution hand, but the cat didn’t move, and Noah rubbed the top of his head. Penn pressed a little closer and Noah rubbed again, coasting down the back of his neck. Penn turned slightly and Noah took the hint, petting his back and then returning to his head. After a few strokes, Penn looked over at him.

  “Well, this is nice,” Noah told him. Penn bumped his hand, and he stroked the soft black fur again before Penn turned a circle and laid down on the desk. “Okay.” Noah looked around. For some reason he didn’t want to get up and leave the cat in here. This was as close as Penn had gotten, and he seemed content to stay for a while. “Maybe I do need to catch up on some of this work,” Noah said. He leaned forward and reached for one of the stacks. He pulled the top few pages from the pile but as he laid them on the desk, Penn got up. He started toward the edge of the desk. “Hey, hang on. You don’t have to go.” The cat looked back. On impulse, Noah sat back in the chair. “Am I supposed to just hang out? Not work then?”

  Penn turned and came toward him again. But instead of reclaiming his spot on the desk, he put his front paws on Noah’s thigh. Noah held still and Penn climbed down from the desk and into his lap. Then he crawled over Noah’s stomach and up his chest until his front paws rested on Noah’s shoulder, his face near Noah’s.

  And then he started purring.

  Noah actually felt his throat tighten. The cat hadn’t sat on him in…Noah couldn’t remember a time. Jared had always been the one to hold him and pet him and talk to him. Noah would talk to him from time to time, a weird habit that just seemed to happen. But yeah, he’d rarely held him.

  Now though…he understood the appeal. The gentle rumble of the purring, the soft, warm body, the trust. That was the thing that seemed to hit Noah hardest. The cat was totally trusting Noah, happy to just be there. He wasn’t being fed, he wasn’t being let in from the cold. Penn already had everything he needed. Technically. But he still wanted to be close to Noah.

  Or maybe he was comforting Noah.

  That made his chest tighten too, and Noah lifted a hand and stroked it down the cat’s back.

  He hadn’t had a lot of downtime cuddling. He knew that. He hadn’t taken that time. His sisters and mom had needed him doing things, not sitting around. At work, people needed him to be taking care of their cars. With Maggie…he didn’t know how to just sit around with her. What would they talk about? Jared? That would be unnecessarily painful for them both. And with Brynn…well, once he started cuddling her he’d never want to stop.

  And he had to stop. He had to be able to let her go.

 
But he couldn’t shake the idea that the cuddling could really go both ways with her too. Maybe he was giving Penn some much-needed affection, but it was glaringly evident that it wasn’t one-sided. This was nice, dammit. And it was a humbling, and somewhat scary thought that he might need some affection too. He was well-liked. His friends had his back. Lots of people, his friends and family, cared about him. He knew that. But he’d never put demands of his own on the people—or cats—he took care of. Not for doing things for him like errands or favors, and not for…well, fuck, not for hugs and cuddling.

  They needed to be taken care of. How could he expect them to take care of him?

  But as Penn purred against him, his paws kneading Noah’s shoulder, he couldn’t help but think about holding Brynn. And having her hold him back.

  * * *

  “The FDA approval came through on T-1587, and we’re moving from preclinical trials to clinical trials next week on T-7143.”

  Brynn grinned at Jeffrey. “That’s amazing. You guys are really moving.”

  They were doing their daily Skype session and she was thrilled with the news, but her mind was only half on what they were talking about.

  As Jeffrey kept talking, she took a bite of the cherry pie she’d swiped from the pie shop kitchen. After she’d swallowed, she took a sip of one of the beers she’d picked up at the liquor store in the next town over.

  She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh.”

  Jeffrey paused. “You don’t think Shelly is ready to lead that development team?”

  Brynn focused on him again. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Shelly would be great.”

  He peered into his computer screen as if trying to see into her room. “What are you doing?”

  She looked down at the pie and the four bottles of beer she had sitting on her desk. “Um…I’m eating pie and drinking beer.”

  “Oh.” He nodded.

  She tipped her head. “You don’t think that sounds weird? Pie and beer?”

  Jeffrey shrugged. “Depends on what kind of each. I’ve had some really great fruit beers so I can see why they could go together.”

  Brynn set her fork down. “You’re a beer drinker?” There was so much she didn’t know about the people around her. She had worked with Jeffrey for six years and she didn’t know he drank beer? Wow. She really did need to become a little chattier.

  “Love it. A friend of mine owns a microbrewery in fact,” he said. “I’ve helped with some of it in fact. The process is fascinating and a lot of fun.”

  “Fascinating and fun?” Brynn asked. “Really?”

  “Brewing beer is really just chemistry,” Jeffrey said, lifting a shoulder. “When he first started dabbling in it, I helped him with experimenting with the yeasts and even gave him some equipment.”

  Brynn pushed her plate out of the way and leaned in closer to her computer. She felt a swirl of excitement in her stomach. She’d been taste testing liquors and different pies for the last few days, wanting to ensure the combinations they were putting together for Ladies’ Night were perfect. But ever since she’d tasted the apple pie wine that she’d seen at the store, the niggle of an idea had been tickling the back of her mind. Or her imagination.

  Pharmaceutical research was challenging and definitely took some creativity at times. They needed to make connections that weren’t always obvious and had to be willing to try new things. And sometimes fail. She was used to that. In fact, she was quite comfortable with experimenting and working to perfect combinations. She was incredibly patient and could spend hours waiting for and observing reactions.

  So this idea—the idea of combining tastes and scents, and even going beyond those basic senses—had been intriguing her ever since she’d started thinking about how to pair the different liquors and dessert flavors. She’d decided she definitely wanted to take the time for some taste testing. And, ironically, several times she’d flashed back to her first date with science teacher Sean and their conversation about teaching kids about their senses and how they worked together. Even the sheer complexity of the taste mechanism on the tongue was fascinating.

  Brynn had gone on to research more about wine tasting and had spent hours reading about the process of growing the huge variety of grapes, combining flavors, and the many layers to tasting and sensing those flavors in the vast array of wines. It really was all amazing.

  Now Jeffrey was telling her that the chemistry of brewing beer was interesting and fun.

  Yeah, that swirl of excitement definitely intensified.

  “Jeffrey, you are doing an amazing job with the lab. Thank you.”

  “Of course. You’re welcome. You know how important this research is to me.”

  She did. Jeffrey’s mother had Parkinson’s disease and three of the medications their lab was working on, including T-1587 and T-7143 were for Parkinson’s.

  “I’m really excited about T-1587, and I think Shelly will do a fantastic job leading the team on T-7143.”

  “Great.” Jeffrey gave her a big smile.

  “And now,” Brynn said. “Tell me all about brewing beer.”

  * * *

  Sam Kent was also a dumbass.

  It seemed to be an epidemic in Bliss that Noah hadn’t been aware of until Brynn started dating the entire town.

  He lifted his beer, acknowledging that he was overreacting, but it didn’t stop him from glaring at Sam across the dining room table.

  Of course, Sam didn’t notice. He was too busy looking at, smiling, and flirting with Brynn.

  Obviously, that didn’t make Sam a dumbass.

  “Yes!” she gushed, giving Sam a high five. They had just won the most recent game of Guesstures.

  Even though Sam hadn’t been able to get “diving board”. He hadn’t gotten “painting” or “bottom” in the last game either. And Brynn had only gotten two of Sam’s clues.

  “Okay, Noah’s in this time,” Cori said, bringing the pitcher of punch around again.

  Noah held his glass up. The stuff was potent. Making it perfect for sitting across the table from Brynn and her date for the evening. And watching her have fun.

  Not that he didn’t want her to have fun.

  But he didn’t really want her to have fun with Sam. Or anyone but her sisters. And Evan and Parker. And, yeah, him.

  He motioned for Cori to keep going when she stopped pouring at half a glass. She arched a brow but topped it off. Then she gave his arm a little squeeze before turning to Sam. Great, so Cori was noticing that Noah wasn’t handling this very well.

  But even before he knew how her nipples tasted, how she sounded when he sucked on her clit and how she felt when he slid into her, he had been wound up and split in half about all of this. Now it was pretty much torture.

  He wanted her happy. Period.

  But it killed him a little to watch someone else make her happy.

  That’s definitely why she had to go back to New York.

  “Who needs more food?” Cori asked.

  Noah and Parker both raised their hands.

  “You in this time?” Ava asked. “I can sit out.”

  “Nope, you guys go ahead,” Cori said, already sweeping through the kitchen door.

  Each game, someone had to sit out because they had an odd number of people. Because Noah was there being a seventh wheel. And he didn’t fucking care. In fact, he’d happily sit there just watching. And drinking and scowling.

  But he wasn’t leaving. Brynn hadn’t been at the garage all week and he’d been craving her. Not just her body—though damn right that was part of it—but just seeing her. Just having her sitting there like she usually did. Of course, if she climbed up on that truck now, he wouldn’t be able to let her sit there just reading quietly. But after hanging out with Penn earlier today, he really needed to see her. He needed to…cuddle her. That sounded stupid even in his own head, but after reconnecting with the cat, he felt a sudden need to connect with others he’d let down.

  Turned out he might be the biggest dumbass of
all.

  “Be my partner?”

  He looked up and into Brynn’s eyes. She was watching him closely.

  All he could do was nod.

  She’d said hello to him when he’d arrived. She’d even given him a sweet smile—that had jabbed him in the gut. They both talked throughout the course of the evening to the group. But they hadn’t really spoken directly. And definitely not one-on-one. Now she was asking him to be her partner, and he couldn’t help but feel it was an olive branch.

  Except that he should be the one extending any branches.

  “Great, I’ll partner with Sam,” Ava said, giving Brynn’s date a smile.

  “That leaves you and me, love,” Evan said to Parker.

  Parker lifted his middle finger at the “love”. “Guess what this gesture means.”

  Evan chuckled and started shuffling cards.

  Noah set his drink aside and leaned in to arrange his. There were four words he needed Brynn to guess before the time ran out. And they were going to kick ass. As usual.

  Cori started the timer with a “Ready? Go!”

  Noah began acting out what was on his cards, and Brynn easily got the first three.

  With ten seconds left, Brynn yelled, “Peaches!”

  “Yes!”

  They high-fived as the timer ran out.

  Cori was shaking her head. “Wow, you two are something.”

  Brynn caught Noah’s eye. “Yeah, we are, aren’t we?”

  He couldn’t argue. He just gave her a wink.

  She looked at him for a beat longer. Then she turned to Sam. “So this has been really fun.” She gave him smile.

  He chuckled. “It has. Even if I’m not winning them all, I don’t mind watching you win,” he said. “You’re pretty cute when you’re trying to kick everyone’s ass.”

  Noah had to cover the growl that escaped his chest with a cough. Sam wasn’t wrong. But Noah didn’t love Sam noticing…or commenting on it. “Hey, Cori, you have more food?” he asked.