“Okay, so I’m not perfect like those men on the covers of her dumb romance novels.”
Jonathan caught sight of his Vanessa Valentine paperback on the kitchen counter and subtly dragged his copy of PC World over it.
Adam never noticed. He was too involved in his own drama. “But cut a man some slack, you know?”
Jonathan didn’t know.
“She changed the locks.”
Whoa. His friend had sailed down the river of no return. “That’s harsh.”
“That’s what I thought,” Adam said. “Anyway, I know we’ll get it all straightened out tomorrow.”
And now who was dreaming?
“Sorry to get you out of bed. You were the first one who came to mind.”
Vance lived right down the road from Adam, but Jonathan understood why Adam hadn’t gone there. Vance would have taken great delight in taunting him. Whereas Jonathan...was a soft touch.
“I just need a place for tonight.”
Jonathan had a suspicion that his poker pal was going to need a place for longer than one night, but this probably wasn’t the time to point that out. Anyway, he was tired and he wanted to get back to bed. Back to Lissa in her pink gown. He pulled a sleeping bag out of the closet and tossed it to Adam.
“Thanks, man,” Adam said. “I’ll get this sorted out in the morning. Right now, I just need a good night’s sleep.”
He needed a lot more than sleep. Jonathan didn’t tell him that, either. Some things a man had to figure out for himself.
Chapter Five
Jonathan never found Lissa again. Every time he drifted off, he was awakened by the sound of a rumbling train. It didn’t take more than the first rude awakening for him to realize that no one had built a train track through his house in the night. No, the horrible noise that dragged him from his dreamland search for Lissa had been Adam’s snoring.
He finally gave up on sleep around seven to find Adam still zonked out on his couch, like a giant caterpillar half out of his sleeping bag cocoon, his hair going every which way and his mouth hanging open. There was a sight a guy didn’t need to wake up to.
Coffee. He needed coffee.
He had a handy-dandy little coffeemaker that delivered one serving at a time, and he made himself a mug. The aroma of brewing java sure would’ve awakened Jonathan, but Adam slept on. How could the guy sleep so well when his wife had kicked him out? And didn’t he have to be at work? Jonathan’s schedule was flexible and depended on what clients he had lined up for the day, but he assumed that on a Monday Adam would have to report in to his office.
Not your problem, he told himself as he filled Chica’s dog bowl. You’re not his mother.
Still, the idea of Adam happily snoozing away after ruining his sleep the night before wasn’t appealing. It was quarter after seven now. Time to wake up. Jonathan yanked the sofa pillow out from under Adam’s head and whacked him with it.
Adam bolted up. “Wha?”
“Thought you might have to get up.”
Adam groaned. “I didn’t sleep at all last night.”
Right. He’d just been faking. “You snore.”
Adam frowned and rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”
“Quarter after seven.”
“I have to get going. Man, I’m shot.” He eyed Jonathan’s mug. “Is that coffee?”
Jonathan nodded at his coffeemaker. “You can make yourself some.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Adam said, and unzipped his sleeping bag. “But first things first.”
Jonathan watched him wander off down the hall to the bathroom, wearing boxers and a T-shirt. Lucky for Adam he had a suitcase of clothes. It was a cinch he wouldn’t be getting into his house for more anytime soon. Poor guy.
From what Adam had said the night before, Jonathan suspected he’d had it coming. Still, he couldn’t help feeling sorry for his poker pal. Locked out of your own house. That had to be humiliating.
He heard the toilet flush and suddenly realized that potential humiliation was lying out in plain sight on the toilet tank. Oh, no.
Maybe Adam hadn’t seen it....
“What the hell?”
Adam had seen.
Jonathan rushed down the hall and arrived at the bathroom to find Adam holding The Undercover Tycoon and staring at it in horror. He looked at Jonathan as if he’d just discovered Jonathan was an ax murderer.
“Give me that.” Jonathan strode over and grabbed the book to snatch it away.
Adam wasn’t ready to let go. “What the hell is this?”
“Never mind.” Jonathan yanked again.
Adam yanked back and Jonathan pulled harder.
“Give me the damned book,” Jonathan growled.
Adam let go at the same time Jonathan gave up the struggle. The book did a swan dive, putting the tycoon in the toilet.
They both stood for a moment, watching the paperback floating in the toilet bowl. Who knew what was going through Adam’s mind, but Jonathan had only one thought. “My sister’s gonna be pissed.”
“That’s your sister’s book?”
“Yes,” Jonathan said grumpily, fishing it out. “Well, it was.” Maybe he could dry it off, set it out in the sun. Once it was dry she’d never know the difference.
“What are you doing reading your sister’s romance novel?”
This wasn’t exactly something he wanted to share. He wished he’d remembered the dumb thing and ditched it while Adam was snoring. “Never mind,” he said, and took the soggy tycoon out to the front porch.
Adam was right behind him. “That’s a chick book.”
“I know,” Jonathan said as he laid it out on the porch railing. Chica, who’d come over to see what was going on, sniffed it. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he said, picking it up again. Maybe if he put it in the dryer.
“So, why are you reading a chick book?”
Jonathan hadn’t wanted to tell anyone, but looking at Adam regarding him with disgust was enough to make him reconsider. What the heck. “I’m doing research.”
“Research? What, are you going to write one of those?”
This was awkward. “No. I just...” Don’t want to be a loser. He couldn’t bring himself to say that, so instead he clamped his lips shut and went back inside, Adam and Chica following him.
“What? I mean, dude, that’s weird.”
“No, it’s not. I figure I can learn something from these books.” If he could keep them from getting destroyed.
Adam gave a disdainful snort. “Like what, how to get the prince to take you to the ball?”
“No. How to figure out what’s important to a woman.” Jonathan set the tycoon on top of the fridge where Chica couldn’t reach him. Then he took his Vanessa Valentine novel out from its hiding place under his magazine. “They’re written by women, and the women who read them like what the heroes do. I’m thinkin’ reading some of these is a good way to get a handle on what makes a woman tick and what she wants in a man.”
Adam took it from him. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
Adam turned it over and read the back cover. “Sounds dumb.”
Jonathan could feel his cheeks heating. Yeah, what did he know? He was just the dork who’d given Adam a place to sleep after his wife kicked him out.
“So who’s the woman you want?”
“Never mind.” He went to the kitchen and pulled a box of cereal from the cupboard, keeping his back to Adam, willing the flush of embarrassment from his face.
“No, seriously. Who is she?”
“No one you know.” Adam was a relative newcomer to Icicle Falls. He hadn’t known Lissa.
“So she doesn’t live around here?”
“Not anymore.”
“She used to?”
Jonathan got busy pouring milk on his cereal. “Yeah. We went to school together.”
Understanding dawned and Adam nodded sagely. “Your high school sweetheart. That’s right. You and Kyle have a reunion this summer. I remember you guys talking about it the other night. So, is your old girlfriend coming back for the reunion?”
“We never went out. We were just friends.” Jonathan shrugged like it was no big deal.
“And you want to see if you can start something with her.”
“Yeah,” Jonathan admitted.
Now Adam was looking skeptical. “And reading these books is going to help you?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re nuts.”
Guys like Adam thought they knew it all. He’d probably never had trouble sweeping women off their feet. But it looked like sweeping and keeping were two different things. Old Adam wasn’t doing so well himself right now. He was in no position to scoff.
“You got a better idea?” Jonathan demanded. “How much do you know about women?”
Adam threw up his hands. “Nothing, nada, zip. Nobody does. Women are another species.”
“I’d say they’re a species worth studying,” Jonathan said. “Unless you like sleeping on my couch more than you like sleeping in your bed.”
Adam scowled and rubbed his chin, then dropped the book on the coffee table. “I’ve got to get ready for work.” He pulled some clothes out of his carry-on and disappeared back into the bathroom.
Denial. The guy was in denial. He was probably hoping to run over to his house later, toss out an “I’m sorry” and watch his wife throw the door wide open. For that to happen Jonathan suspected she’d need to be either brain-dead or under a spell.
“May as well dig out the blow-up bed,” he said to Chica. “He’s gonna be here for a while.”
Adam got cleaned up and was out the door in twenty minutes, and Jonathan once again had the house to himself. He and Chica ate breakfast and went for a walk. Then it was time to watch Good Morning, Oregon.
Today Lissa and her cohost, Scott Lawrence, were interviewing, of all people, Vanessa Valentine, who had a new book out. Vanessa, a brunette who looked to be somewhere in her forties, was the picture of success in a black suit and fancy pearl necklace.
But it was Lissa who held Jonathan’s attention. Today she wore a red skirt that showed a modest but alluring amount of leg, and a creamy white blouse that looked as silky and touchable as her hair. As always, she was flashing the sweet smile that must have made viewers feel as if they were her best friend.
And, as always, she was gracious and welcoming. “Vanessa, it’s a real treat to have you with us today.”
“Thank you,” Vanessa said.
“And you have a new book out.”
“Yes, I do. A Fire in Winter just hit the stands last week.”
“So, what can readers expect from this latest Vanessa Valentine novel?” Lissa asked.
“First of all, they can expect a good story. I always try to deliver that to my readers because they deserve it. They pay hard-earned money to be entertained and I want to make sure they get their money’s worth.”
Now Scott broke in. “And your legion of loyal fans keeps growing. But it’s mostly a legion of women, right?”
“My readers are predominantly women, but men read my books, too,” Vanessa replied.
“See?” Jonathan said to Chica, who was parked next to him. “I’m not the only guy reading this stuff.”
Scott’s expression was frankly disbelieving. “So, tell us, Vanessa. Why should men read romance novels?”
Vanessa looked at her host as if he were a fine specimen of stupidity. Then she smiled and said, “I can think of several reasons. For one, romance novels deal with the things that are most important in life—love, relationship, family, working to conquer obstacles. That’s worth reading about. Secondly, a man can learn about maintaining a relationship from reading romance fiction. He can also learn how women think. And I hear a lot of you complaining that you have trouble figuring us out,” she added with a teasing grin.
Scott laughed reluctantly. “You’ve got that right. But what about those sex scenes?”
“Yes. What about them?” she quipped. “Men, if you want to know what turns a woman on, you can get a pretty good idea from reading a romance novel.”
“Now, if that isn’t proof I’m on the right track, I don’t know what is,” Jonathan said, and Chica agreed with an enthusiastic bark.
“You make a pretty good case,” Scott said. “I think I may have to come to your book signing.”
“I think so, too,” Vanessa said, still smiling.
“Vanessa will be signing her new book, A Fire in Winter, tonight at the Lloyd’s Center Barnes & Noble at 7:00 p.m.,” Lissa said. “So, men, here’s your chance to talk to an expert in romance.”
“And I guess we’d better start reading romance novels.” Scott smiled. “Thanks for being with us today, Vanessa.” To the viewers he said, “After this, we have Chi Chi Romero, who’s going to show us how to spice things up in the kitchen.”
And that was the end of the interview with Vanessa. Too bad I didn’t tape it for Adam, Jonathan thought. Maybe it would’ve convinced him he needed to do his homework.
But then again, maybe not. Guys like Adam, who had everything come easy to them, had trouble grasping the concept of homework—that no matter how smart you were, or thought you were, you still needed to do it. Jonathan suspected this time was going to be different, though. Once a guy got kicked out of his house, there was no quick route back.
* * *
Adam found it hard to concentrate at work. No wonder, with the way his life was going.
He’d called Chelsea when he reached the office, tried to make up for his memory lapse by inviting her to dinner and had been told in no uncertain terms what he could do with his offer. It had all been downhill after that.
As a pharmaceutical rep he spent more time waiting in doctors’ offices than he did actually talking to them about the new medicines in his company’s catalog. All that waiting gave him way too much time to think, and when he’d finally get a chance to see a doc, he invariably looked like he needed to be taking one of those new antidepressants he was peddling. One doctor even offered to write him a prescription for a competitor’s product.
Back at the office he made phone calls and then hung up, wondering what exactly he’d promised, and had to read his emails repeatedly before he understood what he’d read. All he could think about was how mad Chelsea had been. All he could see was the hurt and anger on her face when she’d glared at him from the bedroom window.
The idea of spending another night on Jonathan’s couch was anything but appealing. He had to do something. He called Lupine Floral and ordered a huge bouquet to be delivered that day, ASAP.
“What’s her favorite flower?” asked the man who answered the phone.
Favorite flower? His mind was a blank. “She likes yellow.” She’d painted their whole living room yellow one week when he was gone.
“Well, then, we’ll send her a sunshine bouquet—yellow and white daisies and yellow pom-poms and yellow roses in a yellow ceramic pitcher.”
Adam didn’t care what they came in, as long as they got the job done. “Yeah, that sounds great. Give me the biggest one you’ve got.”
“How would you like the card to read?”
The card. He hadn’t thought of that. He didn’t want to announce to the whole world that he was in trouble. “How about ‘I love you’?”
“That says it all.”
He hoped so. He gave the man his credit card information and ended the call. That should do it. Maybe now he could talk about medications without wanting to take a bunch.
He was smiling wh
en he drove down his street after work. Chelsea would have gotten her sunshine bouquet by now and it would have done the trick.
She loved flowers. She worked part-time at Mountain Nursery and she’d planted all kinds of flowers around their house that made it look really nice—roses and a bunch of other things, names she’d rattled off that left him glassy-eyed.
He wasn’t into flowers. But he was into his wife and he felt confident his peace offering would prove it.
He lost his smile when he pulled up in front of his place and saw a kitchen trash bag with a yellow flower head sticking out the top. She’d tossed the arrangement? Seriously? And that wasn’t the only bag on the porch. Several huge garbage bags sat huddled together, and beside them was his baseball bat, his glove and his fishing gear.
Okay, this was not funny. He got out of the car, marched up to the porch and checked inside one of the trash bags. Clothes. She’d just wadded up his clothes and stuffed them in garbage bags. He was going to have to pay a fortune to get his pants pressed.
He banged on the door. “Chels!”
Of course she didn’t answer.
He banged again.
Once more the bedroom window flew open. There she was again, that pretty face, that long, brown hair. That frown. Sadness overrode his anger. “Come on, baby. What do I have to do?”
“Change.”
“I’m trying,” he protested. “I sent you flowers.”
“That’s not changing. That’s bribing.”
“That’s saying I’m sorry,” he corrected her.
“Do you see any daisies around here?” she demanded.
He looked around. “Umm.”
“I hate daisies. They smell. And if you ever paid attention to anything I said, you’d know that and you wouldn’t have sent them to me.”
“Sorry.”
“Yeah, well, so am I. Go away, Adam,” she said, and slammed the window shut.
Now the anger was back, full force. He kicked the bag holding his rejected bouquet off the porch. Then he grabbed a couple of bags of clothes and stormed to his SUV and threw them in.
Another two bags got hurled into the SUV, followed by his baseball stuff and his fishing gear. He got behind the wheel, slamming the door after him. If this was how she wanted to play it, fine.
Romance on Mountain View Road Page 7