Vance didn’t look at all happy to share. “Just remember what I told you,” he cautioned Jonathan. “She’s not Dear Abby.”
No. She was even better.
He called Kyle as he walked to his car. “I just scored big-time.”
“Yeah?” Kyle sounded surprised. “With who?”
“Vanessa Valentine.”
“What!”
“I just met Vanessa Valentine.”
“And she slept with you?” Kyle asked, incredulous.
“No, you dork. I didn’t score that way. I asked her to come and meet with us on Friday and...she’s coming.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Oh, man, that rocks.”
“We’re gonna have to put her up somewhere, though. Can you chip in?”
“Where?” Kyle asked suspiciously.
“I’m thinking Icicle Creek Lodge.”
“That’s kind of pricey.”
“She’s a big-name author. I’ve got to put her someplace nice. And the lodge is the nicest place in town.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Count me in,” Kyle said.
“Me, too,” Bernardo agreed when Jonathan called him. “I’m going to have her sign every book of hers we own. Anna will be thrilled.”
“You’re shittin’ me,” Adam said when Jonathan got home and shared his big news.
“Nope. She’s coming.” Jonathan pulled a beer from the fridge and plopped down on the couch. “This is gonna be great.”
The only one who didn’t think it was going to be great was Vance. “You guys are a bunch of clucks,” he said when Jonathan called to see if wanted to throw in some bucks toward her lodging and entertainment.
Maybe, but they were an excited bunch of clucks. The rest of the week, when he wasn’t busy with customers, Jonathan spent his free time cleaning. Adam pitched in, too, ordering flowers from Lupine Floral and, on Friday, picking up fancy cream puffs from Gingerbread Haus. Bernardo and Kyle contributed champagne and chocolate and a scented candle because, according to Kyle, Jonathan’s place smelled like dog.
Vanessa arrived in town around noon on Friday and, squired by Vance, met Jonathan for lunch at Schwangau. He was having lunch with Vanessa Valentine. He could hardly believe it.
“You know, this is one of my favorite restaurants,” she confessed as they were seated in at a corner table.
“You’ve been here before?” Jonathan asked, surprised.
“A couple of times, when I’ve come up to see my brother.”
“You have a brother who lives here?” Who the heck was her brother?
“Oh, yes. He doesn’t invite me here very often, which is too bad since I love the shops.”
“He probably realizes how busy you are,” Vance said.
“Family is important, though. You know that, Vance.”
“Of course,” he said, and looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“I bet you didn’t know Vance has a daughter,” Vanessa said to Jonathan.
“Yeah, I heard.” Jonathan didn’t normally get nosy but he couldn’t help asking, “Does she live anywhere around here?”
“Over in Seattle. She’s a good kid,” Vance said.
“Yes, she is. And Vance is a good father.”
Jonathan noticed the way Vanessa smiled at Vance when she said that. There was some emotion packed into that smile. Did Vance have something going with this woman? Maybe they were just friends. Close friends.
“That’s enough about me,” Vance said firmly. “Why don’t you tell Jonathan about the new book you’re working on.”
“Well, I don’t know too much about it yet. I’m still getting to know my characters.”
“I guess it takes a while,” Jonathan said.
“It can. It’s not easy being a writer.” She flashed Vance a smile. “People don’t always understand you.” Now she sobered. “And a lot of writers have a tendency to bury themselves in their work and hide from life.”
Vanessa didn’t strike Jonathan as the type of person to hide from life and he said so.
“You’d be surprised,” she said.
Vance picked up his menu. “So, what looks good? I think I’ll have the sauerbraten.”
The rest of lunch was taken up with conversation, mostly Vanessa talking about the different cities she’d visited on her book tours and how glad she was to have some time at home with her husband and her cats.
But then it got personal. She wanted to know how Jonathan had discovered her and what, specifically, he’d learned from reading her books.
“I’ve made a list,” he confessed, “but I’m not sure how to follow it.”
Vance sighed loudly. “This stuff between men and women, you can’t learn it from a book. You’ve got to get out there and live it.”
“And keep living it,” Vanessa said, looking pointedly at Vance.
He shook his head. “I’m too old for that.”
“You’re never too old for love,” she insisted. “And it’s never too late to learn,” she said to Jonathan. “But I don’t know if I’m the one to teach you.”
She wasn’t going to back out, was she? “No, you are. You’re the closest thing to an expert we’ve got.”
She leaned back in her seat and studied him. “You poor, deluded man.”
“So, who’s for dessert?” Vance asked.
After lunch, they visited Pat at Mountain Escape Books. Then Vanessa wanted to shop. “I’d love to go in that cute little shop with all the nutcrackers in the window,” she said. “Oh, and the one with the imported lace.”
Jonathan wasn’t interested in nutcrackers or imported lace. And he wasn’t wild about running into Tina, which they were bound to do since the lace shop was hers, but he valiantly said, “Sure.”
“I can take her if you need to work,” Vance offered, clearly anxious to be rid of Jonathan.
Now Jonathan knew what was going on. Vanessa was Vance’s Lissa. She considered him a good friend; he wanted it to be more. But it couldn’t be. Vanessa was married.
And she obviously needed someone along to make sure Vance behaved himself. “I don’t have anything planned,” Jonathan said.
Vance shrugged. “Fine.”
So the three of them went to the cute little shop with all the nutcrackers, where Vanessa bought several. “I always like to shop ahead for Christmas,” she explained.
Then they went to the lace shop, where Tina fawned all over Vanessa and looked frankly shocked to see that she was with Jonathan. “Jonathan, you never told me you knew Vanessa Valentine.”
As if he and Tina were good buds and he’d simply forgotten to mention it. He didn’t even try to respond to that.
He didn’t need to. Vanessa linked her arm through his. “Jonathan and I are friends. Aren’t we, Jonathan?”
They were? “Uh, yeah.”
Once outside the shop she said, “Don’t tell me, let me guess. That woman thinks she’s better than you.”
Jonathan blinked. “Well. Yeah.”
Vanessa wagged a finger at him. “Don’t ever let women like that intimidate you.”
His first advice from Vanessa Valentine. He wasn’t sure he could follow it, but he appreciated it.
“I could have told him that,” Vance muttered.
“But I bet you didn’t,” she retorted.
Vance just kept walking.
Vanessa dragged them from shop to shop for two more hours. They looked at everything from Christmas ornaments to funny hats. They visited Gingerbread Haus and Jonathan bought her one of Cass Wilkes’s popular gingerbread boys. Then it was off for more shopping. Jonathan’s feet were beginning to hurt. How did women have the stamina for all that shopping?
By fi
ve o’clock shops were starting to close. “I’ll take you over to the lodge,” Vance said to Vanessa.
Did he want time alone with her? What was going on with these two? “Would you like to go out to dinner?” Jonathan asked. No matter what was going on, he was determined to be a good host.
“Actually, Vance and I need to discuss a few things,” Vanessa said, and suddenly Vance seemed uncomfortable.
“Uh, okay,” Jonathan said.
What the heck did they need to discuss? Whatever it might be, it was none of his business.
“I’ll bring her by at seven,” Vance promised.
Jonathan had secretly hoped for a chance to talk to her about his situation with Lissa at some point during the day, but shopping had been all-consuming. So it looked like he’d have to wait until later, like the rest of the gang. He hoped she’d have time to solve all their problems.
By quarter to seven, four men, showered, shaved and dressed in their best clothes, waited in Jonathan’s living room for their heroine to arrive.
Bernardo had brought a stack of books for Vanessa to sign for his wife. “Anna’s pissed she didn’t get to come,” he said.
“This isn’t a party. This is serious business,” Adam said. “We need help.”
“Not all of us,” Bernardo informed him.
Vance’s car pulled up outside.
“She’s here,” Jonathan announced, his heart banging like a jackhammer. He pushed his glasses up his nose and started for the door.
“I don’t see her,” Kyle said, looking out the window. “All I see is Vance.”
“What happened to her?” Adam turned to Jonathan in panic. “You were just with her today.”
“Maybe she’s...I don’t know.” Where was she? Jonathan opened the front door and in walked Vance. All by himself.
“Where’s Vanessa?” Jonathan demanded.
“Right here,” Vance said. “You’re lookin’ at her.”
“Real funny,” Adam snapped. “Now, where is she?”
“Like I said, you’re lookin’ at her. I’m Vanessa Valentine.”
Bernardo guffawed. “Right.”
“Yeah, you look just like her,” Kyle added.
Vance walked over to the counter. “Flowers. You shouldn’t have.” He picked up the box of chocolates. “For me? You fellas went all out.”
Jonathan snatched them away. “Those aren’t for you.”
“If they’re for Vanessa, they’re for me.” Vance snatched them back. “I tried to talk you fools out of this, but you wouldn’t listen to me.” He settled in Jonathan’s recliner, opened the box and helped himself to a truffle.
“You can’t be her,” Kyle protested.
“Of course I can. Ever hear of a pen name? Otherwise known as a pseudonym.”
Jonathan felt as though he’d entered a parallel universe. “But the woman at the book signing, the woman we were with all day—”
“Is my younger sister, Valerie,” Vance said, and popped another chocolate in his mouth. “She handles all my publicity and acts as my front woman when I need to make appearances.” He frowned. “She gave me hell for not telling you guys and threatened to tell you herself if I didn’t ’fess up.”
The shock reverberated around the room as the men realized their idol had feet of clay. Big, hairy feet.
Kyle made a face. “You wrote those sex scenes I read? Oh, man. I’m gonna puke.”
“I can’t believe it,” Jonathan said, and sank onto the couch. Except that did explain the fond look she’d given Vance earlier at lunch. No wonder she knew so much about him! “I thought maybe you two had a thing going.”
“You thought I was getting it on with a married woman?” Vance snorted in disgust. “I’ve got standards, you know.”
“Some standards.” Adam pointed a finger at Vance. “All this time, you let us make fools of ourselves, let us think there was actually something to those stupid books.”
Vance lifted his shoulders. “There is.”
Jonathan wanted to walk right over and punch Vance in that smug face of his. Instead, he asked, “How’d you ever get started writing chick books, anyway?”
Vance’s whole face shut down. “None of your business.”
“Yeah, it is,” Adam said. “You made fools of all of us.”
“Nope. You made fools of yourselves.”
“My wife loves your books,” Bernardo said. “I’d really like to know how you got started.”
Vance stared out the window. Finally he said, “My first wife—”
“First wife?” There was more than one?
Vance ignored Jonathan’s outburst. “—she was hell in high heels. The woman was psycho.” He shook his head. “After we got divorced, I vowed never again. But then I met Lydia. She was the sweetest woman—
always happy, always laughing. And she loved romance novels. She started writing one, had her pen name all picked out.”
“Vanessa Valentine,” Jonathan guessed.
“She never got a chance to finish it.”
“Shit,” Adam said in a low voice. “She died?”
Vance nodded. “Breast cancer. Twelve years ago. I finished the book for her. Learned about the business, found an agent. Got it published.” He gave a mirthless chuckle. “Even dedicated it to her—‘For Lyddie. You finally got your happy ending.’”
“But you didn’t stop with that one book,” Jonathan said.
Vance was looking at the woodland scene outside Jonathan’s dining room window and seeing something none of the other men could. “No, I didn’t. I kept going. I decided the best way I could keep her memory alive was to make her a household name.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I got so I liked doing this. Every time I wrote, it felt like she was sitting right there with me. Still does.”
“Ah, now there is a story you should write, amigo,” Bernardo said.
“That’s cool and all, but damn, I thought you owned a bookstore.” Kyle’s tone of voice plainly said he felt cheated.
“I do. I bought it so my kid would have a job.” He shook his head again. “She was a lit major. Not much you can do with that. She runs the store.”
“Was that the woman ringing up sales at the book signing?” Jonathan asked.
“Yeah, that’s her. Emily.”
He never would have figured it out. Other than having similar coloring, she didn’t look anything like Vance. Which was a good thing for her. “But those books... They sound like something a woman would write,” Jonathan said. “How do you do that?”
Vance shrugged. “I ask myself what my wife would do. If I go too far off base my sister pulls me back. She reads everything before I turn it in to my editor. Like I said, you can thank her for getting me here. She thought it was only fair to tell you guys the truth. By the way, we canceled the reservation at the lodge. You’re all getting a refund.”
“Yeah, well, it would’ve been nice if you’d told us a few books back,” Adam growled. “I spent a fortune.”
“Hey, you got a good read out of the deal,” Vance shot back.
“We weren’t buying them for a good read,” Jonathan said. Although he had enjoyed the books.
“Yeah, I know. You all want to learn how to fix your woman problems.”
“That’s a bust,” Adam grumbled.
“Oh, quit your whining. There’s still good information in those books. My sister makes sure of that. And those other books you’ve been reading, those were written by women,” Vance added.
“How do you know?” Adam asked.
“I go to the writers’ conferences with my sister.”
“What, in drag?” Adam demanded.
“No, as her business manager. I’ve met most of the authors.”
Jonathan frowned. “I was hopin
g for some one-on-one coaching.”
“Me, too,” Adam said grumpily.
Vance shook his head. “You don’t need it. Think of Dorothy.”
Dorothy? Jonathan didn’t remember a Dorothy in any of the Vanessa Valentine novels. “Which one of your books is she in?”
“None. Didn’t you clowns ever watch The Wizard of Oz?”
“When I was a kid,” Jonathan said. Where were they going with this?
Vance frowned at their obtuseness. “Come on. The wizard at the end told her she’d always had what she needed to get home. With the number of books you’ve read, you guys have all the information you need to get your women. You just have to use it.”
Adam stared at him. “That’s it? That’s all the help we’re gonna get from the great Vanessa Valentine?”
“It’s all the advice you need. Oh, and try to think like a woman. Now, let’s eat.”
Try to think like a woman. No problem.
Jonathan went to the fridge and pulled out the cream puffs. They were on a fancy plate he’d borrowed from his mother. He set them on the counter. “Here...Vanessa,” he said bitterly.
Vance joined him and slapped him on the back. “Thanks.”
Jonathan frowned. “I really wanted to get some expert advice, not Wizard of Oz crap.”
Vance expelled a long-suffering sigh. “Okay, what do you want to know?”
Jonathan shook his head. Maybe Vance and Vanessa were the same in real life but they sure weren’t in his mind. “Forget it.”
“You’ve been reading those books, taking notes like crazy. I don’t know who you’re after, but whoever she is, you just need to apply what you’ve learned.”
Yeah, and click his ruby shoes together and chant, “There’s no place like home.”
“Pay attention and tell her what she wants to hear—give her what she wants.” Vance poked him in the shoulder. “Don’t give up, kid. You’re on the right track.”
“How do you know? You’re a guy,” Jonathan retorted in frustration.
“I’m not writing this stuff in a vacuum and I’ve been around the block a few times. I know this much—you act like a hero, you’ll get the girl. Love always wins in the end.”
Romance on Mountain View Road Page 19