“Let’s see,” Juliet called from outside the dressing room.
He pulled on the shirt and buttoned it up, then came out, buttoning the cuff.
“No, no,” she said, slapping away his hand. Instead, she rolled the sleeve halfway up his forearm and undid the top button on the shirt. Then she stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Oh, yeah. My brother the hunk.”
Ellis was on hand with a black-and-gray striped rugby hoodie. “And put this on.”
Jonathan obliged and Juliet sighed. So did Ellis.
“If you weren’t my brother, I’d have a serious crush on you.”
“I already do,” Ellis said, making Jonathan’s cheeks sizzle. “Okay, now back to the dressing room. Oh, I feel just like Clinton on What Not to Wear.”
Another ensemble, another glance in the mirror, and Jonathan was doing something he hadn’t done in front of a mirror in, well, ever. He smiled.
Yeah, he still wore glasses, but they were losing their dork power. Maybe he could turn himself into somebody cool.
He modeled another outfit for his sister, who clapped in delight.
“An absolute transformation,” Ellis said dreamily.
“We need movie theme music.” Juliet began searching on her phone.
As Jonathan stepped back into his dressing room to try on a tan polo shirt, Jo Dee Messina’s “Sharp-Dressed Man” blasted in after him. He turned in the mirror and admired his new and improved self, and it nodded in approval. Yes, he was becoming a sharp-dressed man.
Forty minutes later, he’d spent more on clothes than he had in the past two years combined, and Ellis was giving him his card, offering to help him with any needs he should have in the future. And Juliet was just getting warmed up.
“Shoes and socks next,” she said, steering him toward the shoe department.
“I’m not made of money, you know,” he protested.
“Don’t give me that. You’ve got money in savings, you miser. It’s time you invested some of it in yourself.”
The investment didn’t end at the shoe department. They went to a men’s suit store and got him a suit, to another department store’s optical department for new glasses frames and then to a fancy hair salon that catered to both men and women.
“I made an appointment for both of us,” she said blithely. “After this you can buy me something to eat.” And with that she left him in the capable hands of a hairdresser named Desiree, who gave him a pricey haircut and sold him an equally pricey jar of pomade. But worth every cent, he decided, checking out the new and improved him.
When they met in the reception area an hour later, Juliet beamed like Henry Higgins looking at Eliza Doolittle. “Wow! You are now officially a lady-killer.”
“Yeah, right.” Okay, that was taking it too far.
But as they set off down the street toward Wild Ginger, he caught a twenty-something woman checking him out. Him. Really? He glanced over his shoulder to see if there was someone behind him. Nope.
“Yes, she was looking at you,” said Juliet, who could read minds. “You are going to be the surprise hit of the reunion.”
Probably not compared to the likes of Rand or Cam Gordon or Feron Prince. But that was okay. He wasn’t out to wow every woman from the class of 1998. Only one.
Were the new clothes enough? Lissa had always tended to get sidetracked by guys with a flashy facade. Sadly, she’d often had trouble seeing behind the facade.
* * *
“I can’t believe he cheated on me,” Lissa lamented the Thanksgiving weekend of their sophomore year in college.
She and Jonathan were both home for the weekend, and their families had gotten together on Friday night to share leftovers. The turkey sandwiches had been consumed. Lissa’s older sister had been trying to settle her two-year-old so the families could play Trivial Pursuit. Lissa and Jonathan had drifted out onto the porch to compare notes on college and had wound up discussing her love life.
“Seriously, Liss? I knew when you brought him home last year that he was a player. He was flirting with my sister. You didn’t see that?”
Her eyes widened, then her lower lip trembled. “No. Oh, Jonathan, why do I pick losers all the time?”
Because you don’t pick me. As always, he thought it but didn’t say it. He was too afraid that if he did, he’d see by the expression in her face that she believed he was a loser, too. Not the rotten, cheating kind of loser, of course. Just a subpar guy with no commanding presence. He simply wasn’t sexy. Even his college major wasn’t sexy. Who wanted to date a guy whose major was computer science?
A girl who was majoring in math, of course. Caroline Schnook wasn’t as beautiful as Lissa (who was?), but she liked to play chess and she liked to read. They had plenty in common. He could be happy with her. That was what he told himself. But the happiness hadn’t seemed so happy anymore after he’d seen Lissa.
“At least you’ve found someone nice.”
He’d shrugged. “She’s okay.”
“Okay? You’re settling for someone who’s only okay?”
“There aren’t enough Lissas to go around.” It was the closest he’d ever come to telling her how he felt. Just saying those words had made his heart pound.
“Oh, Jonathan, you’re so sweet. But you shouldn’t be with a girl you’re not crazy in love with.”
“I think we’re going to break up.” He’d thought he could be happy with Caroline, but after talking to Lissa he’d known that, as she put it, he’d only be settling. And while that might have been okay for him (since he was reaching for the stars with Lissa, anyway), it wasn’t fair to Caroline. Every woman deserved to have a man deeply, madly, breathlessly in love with her. Who wanted to be settled for?
“Gosh, Jonathan,” Lissa said, “what’s with us? How do we keep winding up with the wrong people?”
Because we’re meant to be together. Just say it! he told himself.
As he opened his mouth to take the big gamble and put his heart on the line, the front door opened and her dad poked his head out. “Hey, you two, come on. We’re about to start playing.”
Lissa went back inside, leaving Jonathan to follow. The moment had passed.
* * *
What would have happened if he’d said, “Just a minute, Mr. Castle. I have something really important to say to your daughter.” It would have blown up in his face, that was what would have happened. He’d looked nothing like the guys she dated. He’d looked like a geek.
But he didn’t look like one now. He wasn’t the same guy he’d been back then, either, and he was going to prove it to her.
The new and improved Jonathan hosted the next poker night.
Adam stared at him in surprise. “Whoa, what happened to you, dude?”
Jonathan shrugged as if it was no big deal that he’d just spent a small fortune on clothes and glasses and a haircut. “Got some new clothes.”
“Got some new everything. Crazy good improvement,” Adam said, nodding.
“You don’t even look like you,” added Kyle, who’d come in with him.
A good thing, since the last person Jonathan wanted to look like was himself, at least his old self.
“So, does this mean you’re going to the reunion, after all?” Kyle asked.
Jonathan pretended he hadn’t given it much thought. “Maybe.”
Kyle, too, nodded his approval. “Now that you’re Mr. Hot it would be dumb not to.”
Mr. Hot. Kyle was as full of it as Juliet.
“You really are a cutie,” she’d informed him when he dropped her off at home after their shopping expedition.
“Whatever,” he’d said.
“I’m serious. Yeah, you were geeky when we were kids, but you were never ugly. And now that you’ve hunked up and you’re showin
g off the merchandise, you’re going to have no problem getting any woman’s attention.”
Family loyalty, he’d thought. And the guys were just being good friends.
Except Vance never worried about boosting a man’s ego and even he gave the new and improved Jonathan a thumbs-up. “I may have to put you in a book.”
“Put me in a book,” Bernardo said, thumping his chest.
“As what?” Vance scoffed.
“As a Latino lover.”
The guys all chuckled and got down to the business of playing cards and that was the end of any talk about Jonathan’s makeover.
But other people were still talking. “Look at you,” Elena greeted him when he entered the Sweet Dreams office to run some diagnostics on one of their computers. “¿Qué pasó?”
The attention was both embarrassing and gratifying. “I just got some new clothes.”
“You look great,” Cecily said.
Dot, too, was impressed when he went to her place to assist with a computer emergency. “My, my, wait till our local girls get a gander at you in those new clothes.”
It did seem like the local girls were taking a gander. Jenni, the barista at Bavarian Brews, gave him a once-over and cooed, “I like your new glasses.”
“Uh, thanks,” he said. Well, that was smooth. He might have been a new man on the outside, but inside he was still his same geeky self. He was going to have to work on upping his suave factor. He thought of item number two on his list of hero attributes—a smooth tongue. Yeah, he had a ways to go in the sweet-talker department.
That evening, after a hike with Chica, he pulled out his list and studied it again. He was making progress, he reminded himself. He was now at least semibuff and as good-looking as he was going to get. And he could check off dancing. But he definitely needed some work in the smooth-tongue department. How did a guy learn to be a smooth talker?
He decided to throw out the question at the next poker night. “What kind of stuff can you say to get women to like you?” he asked.
Kyle, who was now an item with Mindy, was suddenly an expert on women. “You have to be sure and tell them they look nice.”
“And never tell a woman she looks fat,” Bernardo added. “Even if she says she has to go on a diet.” He frowned. “Every time a woman goes on a diet, you end up on one, too.”
Adam, who was seated next to him, slapped Bernardo’s gut. “You need to be on a diet, dude.”
“Hey, don’t do that to a man!” Bernardo rubbed his middle. “That’s how Houdini died. Anyway, I am on a diet. Remember?” he said as he helped himself to another one of the cookies Adam had brought.
“Yeah, I can tell,” Adam said, looking in disgust at Bernardo’s pudgy gut. “Doesn’t your wife ever wonder why you’re not losing any weight?”
“I am losing weight,” said Bernardo. “I’m doing it slow.”
“So, you just go up to someone and say, ‘You look nice’?” Jonathan asked, bringing them back to the subject at hand. Pretty boring. He liked the lines he’d read in his novels better.
“Dress it up a little,” Vance said. “Be creative. And concentrate on one thing, like her eyes.” He demonstrated, lowering his voice. “I could get lost in those eyes of yours.”
“Why, thank you,” Bernardo said in a high falsetto and batted his lashes, making Adam and Kyle snicker.
Jonathan shook his head. “I’d feel like an idiot saying stuff like that.”
Vance shrugged. “Women like it.”
If women liked it, then men should say it. Jonathan stood in front of his bathroom mirror later that night and practiced. “I like your hair....” No, wait. That was dull. “Your hair, it looks like, um...” He thought of Lissa. “Spun gold. Like honey pouring down.” Okay, that was good. It was true, too. He tried a second line. “Has anyone ever told you that you have enchanting eyes?” Oh, that was another good one. He smiled in the mirror and tried out his favorite line, culled from one of his novels. “Look at you. I could do it all night.” Oh, yeah. That was a killer.
The next time he was at Bavarian Brews he tried a bit of flattery on Jenni, just to see if it would work. “Seeing you, I almost forgot what I came in for.” He’d thought that one up all on his own and it was an excellent line, if he did say so himself.
Her cheeks turned pink and she smiled as if he’d given her chocolate. “Aw, Jonathan, that’s sweet.”
“I like your hair,” he added.
“Really? I just got it cut,” she said.
He hadn’t noticed that. He made a mental note to be more observant. “Uh, yeah.”
Now Jennie was looking at him speculatively, as if he might be good date material. He didn’t want to lead her on; that wouldn’t be right. He placed his order and moved away. Obviously flattery was powerful magic and should be used sparingly.
“Pretty smooth, computer man,” said a low voice behind him.
Todd Black, the king of smooth. A whoosh of embarrassment carried away Jonathan’s suave. He turned. “Uh, hi, Todd.”
“I like the new look, man. Who are you out to impress?” He nodded in Jenni’s direction. “Should I take a guess?”
“No, no. I was only...” Practicing. “Being nice.”
“A word of caution,” Todd said quietly. “Don’t be too nice. Women take it the wrong way and then you’re in deep shit.”
So he’d just realized. He decided he’d better go back to practicing his lines in the mirror.
* * *
Kyle walked out of Ted Darrow’s office feeling like he was ten feet tall, Ted’s words ringing in his ears. “You’ve really been going the extra mile lately, Kyle. We’ve got a new position opening up in claims. I want you to apply for it.”
That had been damned nice of Darrow. Maybe jealousy had led Kyle to misjudge him. Maybe Darrow wasn’t such a bad guy, after all. Just as he was seeing his supervisor in a new light, Ted Darrow was obviously seeing him differently, too.
Well, he was seeing himself in a new way. These days he walked taller (even without the heightening shoes, which sat abandoned in his closet). He looked the bosses in the eye and smiled, volunteered for projects, even suggested ways the company could improve, like going to a paperless filing system. He supposed it all boiled down to confidence, and he knew who he had to thank for that. He could hardly wait to tell her.
“Hi, Kyle,” Jillian said as he passed her desk. “Good news?”
Her voice had been pure silk and she was giving him the kind of flirtatious smile she used to give Darrow. Now, that was interesting. “Maybe,” he said, and kept walking.
“Okay, spill,” Mindy said as he tried to settle back down at his computer. “What was that all about?”
“I’ll tell you at lunch,” he promised.
“You’d better,” she said with a smile.
Funny things, smiles. They could be fueled by any number of motives. Sometimes they meant a woman was happy. Other times, as in Jillian’s case, they meant she was after something. Or someone. Someone who could give her something.
He sent up a little prayer. Thanks, God, for not letting me have the woman I wanted.
* * *
“Why am I not surprised?” Mindy said when he shared his news with her at lunch.
“I don’t know. Why?”
She leaned over and kissed him. “Because you deserve it. You’re great and they’re lucky to have you.”
“And I’m lucky to have you,” he said. “How about coming to my class reunion with me? I want to show you off.”
“Yeah? Even though I’m not tall and blonde?”
“Blondes are overrated. I prefer short girls,” Kyle said, earning himself a kiss. “So, you wanna go?”
“Of course. Otherwise, some other woman might steal you.”
No chance of that but Kyle decided he wasn’t going to disillusion her.
* * *
“Mindy’s going with me to the reunion,” Kyle announced at poker night.
“There’s a shock,” Jonathan said, trying not to be jealous. How he wished that, like Kyle, his love life was all sewed up.
“You’ve gotta go, Jon,” Kyle said. “I mean, the new clothes, the new muscle. That’s what you’ve been doing it for, isn’t it?”
Jonathan shrugged. He was glad he’d kept his mouth shut about Lissa, glad he hadn’t committed to attending the damned reunion. He’d paid his money but that didn’t mean he had to go. A guy could change his mind—and that was exactly what he’d done. After what he’d learned earlier that day about Rand, he was glad.
“And what’s the point of reading all those romance novels if you aren’t gonna put some of that into play?” Kyle continued.
“Reunions,” Vance said. “They’re such a bunch of B.S. People never go because they want to see their old pals. They go because they want to show off or prove something.”
Or get someone, Jonathan thought.
“So I guess you never went to any of yours,”
Adam said.
“Oh, yeah. I went to my ten-year. Met my old girlfriend there. Married her six months later.” Vance shook his head. “I never should have gone.”
And if that wasn’t confirmation that Jonathan had made the right decision, he didn’t know what was. So much for the new clothes and glasses. So much for sweating at the gym. Damn Rand Burwell, anyway.
“I guess he’s divorced now,” Tina had said when she gave Jonathan the revised list—with Rand’s name at the top—to put up on the webpage. Good old Rand was free as a bird and coming to the reunion.
Jonathan had been in a foul mood ever since. “Are we gonna play cards or what?”
The other guys looked at him in surprise. “Sure,” Adam said. “Ante up, dudes.”
That was the end of the conversation for the night, but Kyle lingered after everyone else had left. “Okay, what’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” Jonathan snapped.
“Wait a minute. You just updated the reunion webpage, didn’t you?”
Romance on Mountain View Road Page 24