by Daniel Defoe
When I was come down the hill, to the shore, as I said above, being the S. W. point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amaz’d; nor is it possible for me to express the horror of my mind, at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet and other bones of human bodies; and particularly I observ’d a place where there had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth, like a cockpit, where it is suppos’d the savage wretches had sat down to their inhuman feastings upon the bodies of their fellow-creatures.
I was so astonish’d with the sight of these things, that I entertain’d no notions of any danger to my self from it for a long while; all my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of the degeneracy of human nature; which though I had heard of often, yet I never had so near a view of before; in short, I turn’d away my face from the horrid spectacle; my stomach grew sick, and I was just at the point of fainting, when Nature discharg’d the disorder from my stomach; and having vomited with an uncommon violence, I was a little reliev’d, but could not bear to stay in the place a moment; so I gat me up the hill again with all the speed I could, and walk’d on towards my own habitation.
When I came a little out of that part of the island, I stood still a while as amaz’d; and then recovering myself, I look’d up with the utmost affection of my soul, and with a flood of tears in my eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first lot in a part of the world, where I was distinguish’d from such dreadful creatures as these; and that though I had esteemed my present condition very miserable, had yet given me so many comforts in it, that I had still more to give thanks for than to complain of; and this above all, that I had even in this miserable condition been comforted with the knowledge of himself, and the hope of his blessing, which was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery which I had suffer’d, or could suffer.
In this frame of thankfulness, I went home to my castle, and began to be much easier now, as to the safety of my circumstances, than ever I was before; for I observ’d that these wretches never came to this island in search of what they could get; perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not expecting any thing here; and having often, no doubt, been up in the cover’d woody part of it, without finding any thing to their purpose. I knew I had been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the least footsteps of human creature there before; and I might be here eighteen more, as entirely conceal’d as I was now, if I did not discover my self to them, which I had no manner of occasion to do, it being my only business to keep my self entirely concealed where I was, unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals to make my self known to.
Yet I entertain’d such an abhorrence of the savage wretches that I have been speaking of, and of the wretched inhuman custom of their devouring and eating one another up, that I continu’d pensive, and sad, and kept close within my own circle for almost two years after this: When I say my own circle, I mean by it, my three plantations, viz. my castle, my country seat, which I call’d my bower, and my enclosure in the woods; nor did I look after this for any other use than as an enclosure for my goats; for the aversion which Nature gave me to these hellish wretches, was such, that I was fearful of seeing them, as of seeing the Devil himself; nor did I so much as go to look after my boat, in all this time; but began rather to think of making me another; for I cou’d not think of ever making any more attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me, least I should meet with some of these creatures at sea, in which, if I had happen’d to have fallen into their hands, I knew what would have been my lot.
Time however, and the satisfaction I had, that I was in no danger of being discovered by these people, began to wear off my uneasiness about them; and I began to live just in the same compos’d manner as before; only with this difference, that I used more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before, least I should happen to be seen by any of them; and particularly, I was more cautious of firing my gun, least any of them being on the island, should happen to hear of it; and it was therefore a very good Providence to me, that I had furnish’d myself with a tame breed of goats, that I needed not hunt any more about the woods, or shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them, after this it was by traps, and snares, as I had done before; so that for two years after this, I believe I never fir’d my gun once off, though I never went out without it; and which was more, as I had sav’d three pistols out of the ship, I always carried them out with me, or at least two of them, sticking them in my goat-skin belt; also I furbish’d up one of the great cutlashes, that I had out of the ship, and made me a belt to put it on also; so that I was now a most formidable fellow to look at, when I went abroad, if you add to the former description of myself, the particular of two pistols, and a great broad sword hanging at my side in a belt, but without a scabbard.
Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time; I seem’d, excepting these cautions, to be reduc’d to my former calm, sedate way of living, all these things tended to shewing me more and more how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to some others; nay, to many other particulars of life, which it might have pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting, how little repining there would be among mankind, at any condition of life, if people would rather compare their condition with those that are worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition there were not really many things which I wanted; so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for my own preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention for my own conveniences; and I had dropt a good design, which I had once bent my thoughts too much upon; and that was, to try if I could not make some of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer: This was really a whimsical thought, and I reprov’d myself often for the simplicity of it; for I presently saw there would be the want of several things necessary to the making my beer, that it would be impossible for me to supply; as first, casks to preserve it in, which was a thing, that as I have observ’d already, I could never compass; no, though I spent not many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next place, I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to make it work, no copper or kettle to make it boil; and yet all these things, notwithstanding, I verily believe, had not these things interven’d, I mean the frights and terrors I was in about the savages, I had undertaken it, and perhaps brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave any thing over without accomplishing it, when I once had it in my head enough to begin it.
But my invention now run quite another way; for night and day, I could think of nothing but how I might destroy some of these monsters in their cruel bloody entertainment, and if possible, save the victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger volume than this whole work is intended to be, to set down all the contrivances I hatch’d, or rather brooded upon in my thought, for the destroying these creatures, or at least frighting them, so as to prevent their coming hither any more; but all was abortive, nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there to do it my self; and what could one man do among them, when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty of them together, with their darts, or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a mark, as I could with my gun?
Sometimes I contrived to dig a hole under the place where they made their fire, and put in five or six pound of gun-powder, which when they kindled their fire, would consequently take fire, and blow up all that was near it; but as in the first place I should be very loath to waste so much powder upon them, my store being now within the quantity of one barrel; so neither could I be sure of its going off at any certain time; when it might surprise them, and at best, that it would do little more than just blow the fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the place; so I laid it aside, and then pro
pos’d, that I would place my self in ambush, in some convenient place, with my three guns, all double loaded; and in the middle of their bloody ceremony, let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps two or three at every shoot; and then falling in upon them with my three pistols, and my sword, I made no doubt, but that if there was twenty, I should kill them all: This fancy pleas’d my thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it, that I often dream’d of it; and sometimes that I was just going to let fly at them in my sleep.
I went so far with it in my imagination, that I employ’d my self several days to find out proper places to put my self in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them; and I went frequently to the place it self, which was now grown more familiar to me; and especially while my mind was thus fill’d with thoughts of revenge, and of a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I may call it; the horror I had at the place, and at the signals of the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abated my malice.
Well, at length I found a place in the side of the hill, where I was satisfy’d I might securely wait, till I saw any of their boats coming, and might then, even before they would be ready to come on shore, convey my self unseen into thickets of trees, in one of which there was a hollow large enough to conceal me entirely; and where I might sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their heads, when they were so close together, as that it would be next to impossible that I should miss my shoot, or that I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first shoot.
In this place then I resolv’d to fix my design, and accordingly I prepar’d two musquets, and my ordinary fowling piece. The two musquets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot, of the largest size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets each; and in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and third charge, I prepar’d my self for my expedition.
After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it in practice, I continually made my tour every morning up to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I call’d it, about three miles, or more, to see if I could observe any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over towards it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for two or three months constantly kept my watch; but came always back without any discovery, there having not in all that time been the least appearance, not only on, or near the shore but not on the whole ocean, so far as my eyes or glasses could reach every way.
As long as I kept up my daily tour to the hill to look out, so long also I kept up the vigour of my design, and my spirits seem’d to be all the while in a suitable form for so outragious an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages, for an offence which I had not at all entred into a discussion of in my thoughts, any farther than my passions were at first fir’d by the horror I conceiv’d at the unnatural custom of that people of the country, who it seems had been suffer’d by Providence, in his wise disposition of the world, to have no other guide than that of their own abominable and vitiated passions; and consequently were left, and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such horrid things, and receive such dreadful customs, as nothing but Nature entirely abandon’d of Heaven, and acted by some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into: But now when, as I have said, I began to be weary of the fruitless excursion, which I had made so long, and so far, every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began to alter, and I began with cooler and calmer thoughts to consider what it was I was going to engage in. What authority or call I had, to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men as criminals, whom Heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunish’d, to go on, and to be, as it were, the executioners of his judgments one upon another. How far these people were offenders against me, and what right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood, which they shed promiscuously one upon another. I debated this very often with my self thus; how do I know what God himself judges in this particular case; it is certain these people either do not commit this as a crime; it is not against their own consciences reproving, or their light reproaching them. They do not know it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice, as we do in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to kill a captive taken in war, than we do to kill an ox; nor to eat human flesh, than we do to eat mutton.
When I had consider’d this a little, it follow’d necessarily, that I was certainly in the wrong in it, that these people were not murtherers in the sense that I had before condemned them, in my thoughts; any more than those Christians were murtherers, who often put to death the prisoners taken in battle; or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter, though they threw down their arms and submitted.
In the next place it occurr’d to me, that albeit the usage they thus gave one another, was thus brutish and inhuman; yet it was really nothing to me: These people had done me no injury. That if they attempted me, or I saw it necessary for my immediate preservation to fall upon them, something might be said for it; but that as I was yet out of their power, and they had really no knowledge [of] me, and consequently no design upon me; and therefore it could not be just for me to fall upon them. That this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards in all their barbarities practis’d in America, and where they destroyed millions of these people, who however they were idolaters and barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous rites in their customs, such as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people; and that the rooting them out of the country, is spoken of with the utmost abhorrence and detestation, by even the Spaniards themselves, at this time; and by all other Christian nations of Europe, as a meer butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty, unjustifiable either to God or man; and such, as for which the very name of a Spaniard is reckon’d to be frightful and terrible to all people of humanity, or of Christian compassion: As if the kingdom of Spain were particularly eminent for the product of a race of men, who were without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels of pity to the miserable, which is reckon’d to be a mark of generous temper in the mind.46
These considerations really put me to a pause, and to a kind of a full-stop; and I began by little and little to be off of my design, and to conclude, I had taken wrong measures in my resolutions to attack the savages; that it was not my business to meddle with them, unless they first attack’d me, and this it was my business if possible to prevent; but that if I were discover’d, and attack’d, then I knew my duty.
On the other hand, I argu’d with myself, that this really was the way not to deliver myself, but entirely to ruin and destroy myself; for unless I was sure to kill every one that not only should be on shore at that time, but that should ever come on shore afterwards, if but one of them escap’d, to tell their country people what had happen’d, they would come over again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows, and I should only bring upon myself a certain destruction, which at present I had no manner of occasion for.
Upon the whole I concluded, that neither in principle or in policy, I ought one way or other to concern myself in this affair. That my business was by all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not to leave the least signal to them to guess by, that there were any living creatures upon the island; I mean of human shape.
Religion joyn’d in with this prudential, and I was convinc’d now many ways, that I was perfectly out of my duty, when I was laying all my bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures, I mean innocent as to me: As to the crimes they were guilty of towards one another, I had nothing to do with them; they were national,47 and I ought to leave them to the justice of God, who is the governour of nations, and knows how by national punishments to make a just retribution for national offences; and to bring publick judgments upon those who off
end in a publick manner, by such ways as best pleases him.
This appear’d so clear to me now, that nothing was a greater satisfaction to me, than that I had not been suffer’d to do a thing which I now saw so much reason to believe would have been no less a sin, than that of wilful murther, if I had committed it; and I gave most humble thanks on my knees to God, that had thus delivered me from blood-guiltiness; beseeching him to grant me the protection of his Providence, that I might not fall into the hands of the barbarians; or that I might not lay my hands upon them, unless I had a more clear call from Heaven to do it, in defence of my own life.
In this disposition I continued, for near a year after this; and so far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these wretches, that in all that time I never once went up the hill to see whether there were any of them in sight, or to know whether any of them had been on shore there, or not, that I might not be tempted to renew any of my contrivances against them, or be provoked by any advantage which might present it self, to fall upon them; only this I did, I went and removed my boat, which I had on the other side the island, and carried it down to the east end of the whole island, where I ran it into a little cove which I found under some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of the currents, the savages durst not, at least would not come with their boats, upon any account whatsoever.
With my boat I carry’d away every thing that I had left there belonging to her, though not necessary for the bare going thither, viz. a mast and sail which I had made for her, and a thing like an anchor, but indeed which could not be call’d either anchor or graplin; however, it was the best I could make of its kind: All these I removed, that there might not be the least shadow of any discovery, or any appearance of any boat, or of any human habitation upon the island.