by Lane Hart
“I don’t know. You didn’t call or text, and now you’re telling me it’s none of my business,” I respond.
“Not that I owe you anything, but I wasn’t with any women,” he assures me, and I almost believe him. “I would have rather been here, but I had something I had to do. By the time I left, I thought it was too late to just show up.”
“So where did you sleep?” I ask.
“At Senn and Abby’s,” he answers without hesitation.
“You said you weren’t with any women,” I counter, and Luke makes a growling sound of frustration.
“Abby doesn’t count anymore. She’s married and my best friend,” he explains. “I haven’t slept with them since…” His blue eyes widen, and his statement comes to an abrupt halt once he realizes what he just said.
“Them?” I repeat, wanting clarification.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Luke says, “Before Abby and Senn were really together, the three of us…”
“Oh my God,” I gasp, slapping a hand over my gaping mouth. “Are you…are you bisexual?”
“What?” Luke exclaims. “No, no! I just had sex with Abby at the same time Senn had sex with Abby.”
“So you and he didn’t…touch?” I ask, not because I’m homophobic, but because I don’t ever want to end up with a man who is only with me because he’s hiding who he really is.
When Luke’s face turns red, I know the answer.
“You touched him?” I ask.
“Not like that,” he grumbles, shoving his fingers through his hair. “There was…unavoidable contact.”
“So, like, hands brushing or whatever?” I pry.
“The contact was lower,” he explains. “Come on, we shouldn’t talk about this outside our son’s room,” Luke says before grabbing my hand and leading me to my bedroom where he shuts and locks the door behind us. “Okay, so, while it’s not the most common form of a threesome, Senn and I were both having…vaginal intercourse with Abby at the same time,” he says as he watches my face for a reaction.
“So yours…and his…” I gesture to his crotch and try to verbalize.
“Our swords were being polished at the same time,” Luke blurts out, then scrubs a hand down his face. “Fuck, I can’t believe I just admitted that. No one else knows, at least I’ve never told anyone. I doubt Abby and Senn have either.”
“But you don’t like men?”
“No, definitely not. I may be a voyeur, but that’s not much different than porn. Most porn shows men having sex too, but it’s definitely the sex that turns me on, not the dick,” he clarifies. “Not that I owe you an explanation. That happened over a year ago. And you left and never looked back way before that happened.”
“I did look back. Every moment since I took that pregnancy test and bawled on the bathroom floor all I’ve thought about was you. Whether or not to tell you, how you would feel about being a father, if you cared about me or if that night was a one-time thing…”
“Don’t even try to make me feel sorry for you,” Luke says, glaring at me through narrowed blue eyes. “You knew how I felt about you, and that I would love him too. I’ll even give you a free pass on not telling me during the whole nine months you were pregnant. But from the day Lennox was born, you made the wrong decision that affected my life and his!”
“Love him…too?” I repeat the part of his statement that caused my heart to seize up like a raisin in my chest.
With his hands on his hips, Luke throws his head back and laughs non-humorously to the bedroom ceiling. “Yes, I loved you, as stupid and as foolish as it was since you were my brother’s girlfriend. But you clearly never felt the same way, or you wouldn’t have done this to me!”
“Luke, that’s not true…” I start, but he holds up a palm to interrupt.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it,” he warns. “You are the one who left me without a single word in almost four years!”
“Well, it’s not like you ever tried to find me either,” I reply with my hands on my hips. “If you cared about me so much, why didn’t you call or write?”
“I tried!” he shouts. “But you didn’t say goodbye or tell me where you were going, and your parents wouldn’t tell me anything other than you were in Arizona with your aunt. No phone number or address. And it’s a pretty big fucking state! Where should I have started looking since they wouldn’t even give me your aunt’s name?”
“You asked them about me?” I say in disbelief.
“Yes! Several times. All your dad would say was that you were happy there and he didn’t know when you were coming back,” Luke admits. “So every few weeks I would drive by their house to see if you were there…”
“You...you loved me, and you wanted to find me?” I ask in wonder when he dispels all of the doubts I’ve had for years in a single moment.
“Do you enjoy making me feel like a fool?” Luke questions me. “Because that’s all you’ve done since that night…”
“If I had known…”
“What?” he asks with a scoff. “If you had known, you wouldn’t have kept my son from me?”
“I don’t know,” I admit honestly. “Everyone who has ever loved me has hurt me and abandoned me. Both of my parents turned their backs on me. Even my aunt left my life when I was just a little girl because she couldn’t get along with my mom. And then there was Eli…I just didn’t want Lennox to get hurt the same way, especially not by his father.”
“Yeah, so you solved that problem by telling him that his father’s dead,” Luke sneers.
“It was the stupidest decision of my life, and so fucking selfish of me, just because I didn’t want to get hurt again! I know that now,” I reply. “But I had no idea how badly I hurt you by trying to protect him.”
“Shut up and get undressed,” Luke orders, effectively ending our conversation.
I’m not ready to just drop this argument, but I can tell by his harsh tone and the stern look on his face that either I can stop talking and do what he wants, or I can keep pushing him and have him leave.
Without any further hesitation, since I know he deserves this from me and I want to give it to him, I lift my pajama top over my head and push my shorts down my legs. Then, I’m standing before Luke in nothing but my lacy blue boy-shorts.
“Panties too,” he says gruffly while his eyes rake over my naked flesh, so I ease my panties down my legs.
Whether it was the discussion we were having or not, tonight definitely feels…different. Thank God! I’m just not sure what that means. Has Luke finally caved and is willing to have sex with me? Will he put his mouth on me like the night at the lake that was so amazing?
The look on his handsome face is still one of anger, just more lust than usual mixed in tonight. I don’t dare ask him what we’re gonna do; because if I say anything, I’m afraid it will break whatever spell that seems to have fallen over us. I don’t want to upset him, have him turn around and walk out the front door or go back to the unromantic blowjob chair in the living room. I need more than that, even if I don’t deserve it.
“Lay down on the bed,” Luke further instructs, and I quickly do as he requests, crawling up on the mattress as seductively as I can manage for a woman who hasn’t had sex in nearly four years. “Right here along the edge,” he amends after my back lands in the center. So I scoot over until I’m nearly falling off the left side of the mattress.
Luke walks over to my tall set of dressers. Opening the top one, my underwear drawer, he digs around and pulls out…my bright pink vibrator.
“How did you know about that?” I sit up on my elbows and ask him as he walks over with a slight smirk on his face.
“Lay back and spread your legs with your knees raised,” he says, ignoring my question. Obviously, he must have snooped through them after Lennox and I left one morning earlier this week.
Once I’m in position as ordered, Luke places the heavy vibrator on top of my hollowed out stomach, right where the growing ache is the strongest.
“Tonight, you’re gonna fuck yourself with this while I feed you my dick.”
“Oh,” I mutter in response as Luke unfastens his pants and shoves them and his black boxer briefs down his thighs, releasing his cock that’s already long, hard and ready. Usually, he’s only semi-erect when we first get started, which makes it easier for me to take all of him into my mouth. But tonight he looks so big and proud.
Everything he’s told me to do are things I want; I would just prefer to have him inside me, or him being the one using the vibrator on me. I know what his response will be if I ask, though, so I pick up the rubber replica cock, turn on the low vibrating setting and position it at my opening.
Like every other night with this man, I’m so dripping wet for Luke that the silky, smooth device slides right inside me. A sharp gasp escapes my lips at the feeling of fullness, one I pretend is Luke and not just a sorry substitution. Before I can even adjust to the way it stretches me, Luke grabs my jaw and turns it toward him. With his other hand around the base of his thick shaft, he rubs the damp tip over my lips, painting them with drops of pre-cum. I only get to tease him with a few flicks of my tongue before he shoves into my mouth with a low groan.
Tonight’s blowjob is more frantic than the other nights, maybe because I’m more turned on. My mouth is greedy for Luke’s hot flesh. His grip moves from my jaw to cupping the back of my head where he pushes or pulls on my hair based on how he needs me to suck him.
I look up at his face and find his blue eyes are not closed tonight like the times before. Instead, they’re locked on the spot between my raised thighs where I’m squeezing around the vibrator as I thrust it in and out of my pussy. Luke’s grip on my hair tightens when I let my free hand trail up my belly to my breasts where my fingertips tease each of my nipples.
I moan around Luke’s cock pistoning in and out of my mouth as my body begins to tighten, getting closer and closer to a release. That’s when Luke’s eyes finally come up to mine for a second before his head falls back and his cock jerks. I suck him harder while his cum pulses down my throat.
My own orgasm is drawing closer, so I release Luke from my mouth just as my back arches off the bed.
“Ahh. Ahh, God,” I moan when my body trembles. Then Luke’s palm slaps down hard over my mouth, muffling the sounds as the waves of one release end and another picks right up.
By the time my eyes blink open again, Luke’s gone, the salty taste of him in my mouth all that’s left behind.
Disappointment fills me up since tonight wasn’t any better or more intimate than the previous ones. In fact, I’m a little ashamed that I let him watch me masturbate. I thought that underneath the anger, Luke actually wanted me, but maybe he is just using me for a quick, emotionless relief that doesn’t mean anything more to him. If that’s the case, then he’ll never forgive me.
Yanking the vibrator free, I throw it across the bedroom before I roll over to my side and cry myself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Luke
Over the next two weeks, Megan and Lennox and I all get into a comfortable routine. So far, my son doesn’t know that every night I sleep on his sofa. Meg and I pretend like I’m just coming over for breakfast each morning after I get up and shower in the guest bathroom when I hear her alarm go off.
I really like just being a part of Lennox’s everyday life, experiencing all the small things. The kid has to be the messiest eater to ever walk the earth, because he stains his clothes nearly every meal. And he’s so grumpy in the mornings waking up with his bedhead that it’s downright adorable. But before he goes out the door to daycare, he smiles up at me and gives me a big bear hug with a kiss on my cheek. It’s the best part of my day.
The daily routine unfortunately fuels my anger at my own father and Megan for not letting me be a part of his life sooner and thinking I wasn’t capable of taking care of my responsibility.
Most nights, after Lennox goes to bed, Meg still gets on her knees for me; but since the night I made her get naked and masturbate while sucking me off, she’s refused to get undressed or touch herself again. Honestly, I’m not sure why she even wants to keep unselfishly pleasuring me while I refuse to lay a hand on her. Well, not a hand other than the one that grips her hair. I don’t even ask her to blow me anymore, but I never turn her down. Most nights she just pulls me into her bedroom without a word and gets me off, despite the fact that she knows I’ll up and leave as soon as I finish.
I’m starting to feel like a bastard for using her.
But then I look at Lennox and see everything she took from me and tell myself she deserves it.
And maybe it’s also a little fucked up, but I have to admit that I like being an asshole for the first time in my life. I’ve always been the good son, staying out of trouble and walking on eggshells to avoid hurting my parents or disappointing them. Even before Eli died, I felt like I never measured up to him. He was the perfect son, and while all parents say they don’t have favorites, he was clearly my parents’ pride and joy. My father loved the fact that Eli was going to go to school to be a plastic surgeon like him. They even talked about him joining Dad’s practice after his residency. And my mom…well, Eli could do no wrong in her eyes. She had practically planned his and Meg’s wedding, down to the number of kids they would have (at least three) and where they would get married (the church where they met, and her dad was a pastor, of course.) In fact, I’m surprised Eli hadn’t popped the question before his accident. Meg and Eli talked about having a small wedding before they left for Clemson so that they could live together off-campus.
Now, because of his secret affair with Nate, we all know why Eli was so reluctant to ask Meg to be his wife. I can’t help but wonder if they had known how supportive their families and the guys at Havoc would have been of their relationship if Eli and Nate wouldn’t have been sneaking around and ended up in that accident.
This morning, I find myself pulling up at Havoc more out of habit than any real desire to train. I have a fight against Cain tonight and shouldn’t be working out too hard. Last week I easily won against Cal Holbrook in the first round, as expected; but tonight, unfortunately, I’m supposed to take the fall again, even though I know I can beat that asshole, Cain.
And yeah, it’s going to be a lot harder to just roll over and let that jerk beat me than it was with Ivan. Cain will rub it in my face, thinking he’s better than me. I’ll know the truth, and I’ll get a bigger payday of five thousand for a Friday night fight, so that’s all that should matter to me. The downside to another fight I have to lose is letting my face get fucked up, which means avoiding Meg’s place again tonight, maybe even for several days depending on how long I have to take a beating.
As a nurse, Meg will only worry about what’s really going on, and I don’t want my son to see me with a messed up face and think getting into fights is an acceptable way to handle his emotions. That’s not what we do at Havoc, but Lennox is too young to try and explain the differences in self-discipline and training required to participate in an actual sport. And yeah, maybe I just don’t want to have to admit to Meg that I’m fighting illegally to earn some money.
When I walk in the front doors of Havoc, everyone and I mean everyone is gathered around the check-in desk.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask Trick, the former Marine turned fighter, as I squeeze through the door. The grin on his face is still unexpected since a few months ago a scowl or glare was the most anyone could expect. Mina’s been good for him.
“Jude was just telling us that Linc’s twins were born at seven a.m. this morning and showing us some pics,” Trick tells me.
“Oh, wow. How are they all doing? How’s Claire?” I ask.
“They’re good. Claire had to have a C-section thing or whatever, but that’s apparently the norm with two babies. She’s getting some rest while Linc takes care of the twins.”
“Okay, so, drum roll please,” Jude says from where he’s sitting on the edge of the counter. He be
ats his hands on the wooden desk loud enough to be heard over the noise of the gathered crowd of fighters. “The winner of the baby pool is…Senn! He picked tomorrow as the twins’ birthday. Congrats, man. Come get your winnings!”
“Hell yeah,” Senn says as he gets fist bumps on his way to snatch up the pile of cash in Jude’s palm. “Daddy’s intuition. I know things now,” he tells us while tapping the cash to his forehead.
“Bullshit,” Mace replies with a punch to his shoulder. “All you know is what Abby tells you.”
“Same thing,” Senn replies with a grin, making the guys chuckle.
“So, are you ready to hear the names?” Jude asks with another drum roll of his palms on the counter before he picks his phone up again. “Oh fuck. You’re not gonna believe this shit.”
“What are they?” Nate asks.
Jude clears his throat. “Sage and…Talon.”
“What?” Senn asks. “They didn’t! You’re fucking with us.”
“Those poor kids,” Nate replies with a shake of his head. “Named after Zelda characters.”
“I can’t believe my sister went for that shit,” Mace responds with a snort. “They are such dorks.”
“Here, here!” Jude says while raising his water bottle in the air. “To Linc finally getting his wish of becoming a daddy, and as such, hoping he makes better decisions than their names from here on out!”
“Here! Here!” the group agrees, those with water bottles in their hands raising them high.
I’m so damn happy for Linc. He’s known that he wanted to be a father ever since he was nineteen and Abby got pregnant with Thomas Lincoln; then had an unfortunate miscarriage.
I’m also…envious.
Right now, Linc is at the hospital taking care of Claire after seeing his sons being born. He’s probably freaking the fuck out trying to figure out how to change diapers, feed them, and all the other shit, but loving every second.