“So what happened?” Robyn faced her as they waited at the crosswalk to the parking garage.
Everything and nothing? “Let’s say I got a bad feeling of déjà vu.”
“What do you mean?”
“When things got bad with Derek, one of the things I realized was that I couldn’t put my finger on when it had started. There was never a place to dig my heels in and say no. It was so gradual, the way he took over. He’d give me choices and then take them away. Ask me to pick a restaurant and then argue me into the one he wanted. I’d put on an outfit and he’d talk until he’d changed my mind. He knew what was best, he said, had his finger on the pulse. At first it was little stuff, and always with a laugh.” She bit her lip. “Later, it wasn’t, any more than it was with my dad.”
“And you really think that’s what’s happening with Brady?” Robyn asked as they stepped into the elevator to the upper levels.
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” she blurted. They’d kissed here, half devoured each other, she remembered, at the start of one of the most amazing nights she’d ever known. “I say I’m taking a shuttle from the airport, he comes to get me. I say I don’t want to go riding, he talks me into it. I say I want the night to myself and the next thing I know, he’s there.”
“It sounds sweet,” Robyn said slowly.
“But that’s how it was with Derek at first. And then sweet turned to…” Nightmare. She swallowed. “I’ve always sworn to myself that I’d never be in that spot again.”
The elevator doors opened and they got out and walked to Thea’s Prius.
“Do you really think that’s what could happen with Brady? Do you really think he’s that kind of person?”
Thea’s laugh held no humor. “What makes you think I’d know for sure either way? That’s always been my problem, I figure out things too late.” And she was holding on by a thread, she thought as she unlocked her trunk to put Robyn’s bag in. She’d had incredible sex here with him by his car, and then gone home to really make love for the first time in her life. The memories battered at her. “I figure out things too late,” she repeated. Her throat tightened. “I’m in love with him, Robyn. And it scares the hell out of me.”
“But Thea—”
“I thought I was in love with Derek, and that’s what he used against me. With Brady, I don’t think I’m in love, I know it.” She looked at Robyn, eyes drenched with sorrow. “He could destroy me.” And the tears began to fall.
THEA WOKE IN THE DARKNESS, heart thumping. The house was silent, offering no clue as to what had jarred her awake. If it had been a nightmare, she had no memory of it. That was fine with her. Far better to forget than to wake as she had the night before, with the remembered taste of Brady’s lips on hers.
The taste she’d walked away from.
Robyn had driven them home from the airport and cancelled evening classes at the studio. Thea would have been useless, she and Robyn both knew, even if she hadn’t cried her eyes into puffballs. So she’d given up the distraction. Instead, she’d come home and tried to make the time pass while Robyn slept.
And tried to figure out how to live with the new shape of her life. How did you experience golden hours and then turn around and give it all up? And she could tell herself all she wanted that it hadn’t been real, that there’d been darkness waiting beneath. Her heart still ached for it.
She heard a clunk, followed by muffled cursing. At least she didn’t have to wonder anymore what had awakened her. Whatever it was, it bore investigating. Thea rose, pulling on her robe and cautiously looked out into the hall.
Darkness, mostly, except for the thread of light at the bottom of the door in the master bedroom. Robyn, of course. Thea padded down the hall. With a forefinger, she pushed the door open. “Robyn?”
Inside the room looked empty except for Darlene, who lay on the bed snoozing. There was an indistinct noise. Then Thea looked to where the closet door stood open, the soles of bare feet poking out at the bottom.
“What are you doing?” Thea asked.
Robyn turned and stuck her head out, swiping a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I’m such a dip.” She rose and came over to give Thea a hug. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ll survive, I guess. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder.”
“Any time.”
Thea nodded to the open door. “So what are you doing in there?”
“Cleaning my closet.”
“Cleaning your closet? You are aware that it’s three in the morning, right?”
“Not for me. For me it’s mid-afternoon. Jet lag.” Robyn added with a yawn. “I’m sorry. My internal clock went off about an hour ago and I was wide awake. I figured I’d use the time to unpack. Then when I went to put my bag away, some shoeboxes had fallen over and there wasn’t any room. So I started going through my shoes and then my clothes and it all just kind of snowballed. Anyway, go back to sleep. I’ll be quiet.”
Thea shook her head. “I’m awake now. Might as well keep you company.”
“Yeah? Cool.” Robyn went back into the closet to shove a pile of clothes and shoes out into the room. “I figure I’ll take all this to the Salvation Army this weekend.”
Thea grabbed a plastic garbage bag Robyn had tossed down and began putting clothes into it. “Not into low cut sweaters any more, I see.”
“Too small. They’re taking up space.”
“You’re not one of these people who cleans out your closet every year, are you?” Thea asked suspiciously.
Robyn snorted. “Me? Once a decade, if I’m lucky.”
Thea pawed through the pile some more and pulled out a slate blue leather minidress. “Wait a minute, you’re out of your mind if you’re getting rid of this. Come on, Robyn, you loved this outfit. It was incredibly hot on you.”
“That was eight years ago. Besides, I was a teeny bit smaller then.”
“Not by much. You still look great.”
Robyn rolled her eyes. “Definitely too small.”
“How can you get rid of it?” Thea protested. “It would break my heart. I’d starve myself first.”
“Sometimes you’ve got to throw out the stuff that doesn’t fit anymore.” She flicked a glance at Thea. “Speaking of which, what are you going to do now?”
Thea did a double take. “Man. You don’t start with the easy questions, do you?”
“Someone’s got to do it.”
She bent back to the clothing. “Well, tomorrow I go down for my mom’s surgery. Then I come back here and work until you find a new instructor. As soon as you do, I go back home.” Away from where memories of Brady stalked her.
“Yeah.” Robyn said thoughtfully. “Well, I’ll do my best to get someone on board in a hurry, but to be honest I was really hoping you’d like it so much you’d decide to stay.”
“I can’t, Robyn.” Her throat ached. “Everywhere I look, I see him.”
Robyn stared at her. “Forget about Brady for a minute. This is about teaching, Thea. You’ve got a gift for it and you love it. I heard it in your voice last week.”
“Of course I love it. I always have.”
“So do it. Move up here, work with me. Make a living doing something real.” Her eyes flashed with excitement. “I can’t pay you big money but I can give you half-time work, pay you at least as much as the nursery did. You can always quit if you don’t like it. Come on,” she wheedled, “it’ll be fun.”
“Robyn…” Thea began. It wasn’t possible. It just couldn’t happen.
“I’ll miss you if you go,” Robyn barged on. “This is what you’re meant to do. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you so happy.”
“It wasn’t real, Robyn.”
“Are you so sure about that?”
At this point, she didn’t think she’d ever be sure about anything again.
16
THE AFTERNOON SUN BEAT DOWN on the Blythe pavement with the same paralyzing heat Thea rememb
ered from her growing-up years. The Mitchell house hadn’t had air conditioning; probably still didn’t. Hoyt had refused to spend the money on it. No need, he’d insisted. Take a shower. Turn on a fan.
The hospital, at least, was cooled. The only problem was making the walk from the parking lot through 110-degree heat to get inside.
“This is it,” Lauren told her. “Last chance to change your mind and go get drunk instead.”
Hoyt hadn’t liked that they were arriving in the afternoon, even though the surgery wasn’t scheduled until the following morning. He hadn’t liked them coming direct from the airport, or that they were renting a car for the drive rather than depending on him.
There were some things Thea refused to budge on.
“Won’t need a sauna for a while,” Lauren said wryly as she took a breath of cool air.
Thea smiled at her sister. They shared similar coloring and body types, but Lauren had ruthlessly simple chic that Thea had never achieved, even as a model. All the more surprising to see her drink and curse like a sailor. Then again, their family tended to drive a person to it.
And just about then, that drink was sounding pretty good.
They heard Hoyt’s voice before they ever saw him, just as they rounded the corner to the nurse’s station on the surgical unit.
“It’s a bad location and I want her moved,” he demanded.
A pretty young Hispanic nurse faced him. “Sir, it’s only for tonight. She’ll be taken to the coronary care unit tomorrow after her surgery.”
“I don’t care what’s happening tomorrow.” His voice rose as he stood there, tall, rawboned, his face hard and craggy with jutting jaw and narrow eyes.
Before him, the nurse looked like a bunny in front of a bulldozer.
“Will you cover me if I go in?” Thea murmured to Lauren.
“Sure, from a safe distance,” she whispered back.
Thea opened her mouth to intercede as a new nurse came up. Or strode up, Thea thought, watching.
“I’m Ruth Huntford, the shift supervisor. Can I help you, sir?”
“Well, I—” Hoyt drew himself up and blinked. In her crepe shoes, Huntford was a match for him in height and more than a match in bulk. He bristled. “My wife’s window looks out onto a ventilation tube.”
“Your wife is in for pre-op, sir. What’s important is that all her testing and prep work takes place on schedule, not that she has a scenic view. We have several more critically ill patients in the other rooms that I’m not prepared to disturb, by moving them—or by loud discussion. I’m sure you understand.”
“But—”
“And as Elsa told you, she’ll be moved to a room in CCU after surgery. When we bring her back to the ward, we’ll do our best to ensure she has a pleasant view.”
“I want her moved—”
Ruth gave him a neutral look. “I’m sure you do, sir. We’ll keep that in mind. Good afternoon.” And she walked away.
No one walked away from Hoyt like that, but Huntford had managed it. Thea stared at her. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”
“I want her baby,” Lauren said.
They waited until Hoyt went down the hall, and followed him to their mother’s room. Inside, Betty Mitchell lay in the bed, looking wan.
“Surprise,” Lauren said, brandishing the flowers they’d brought.
“Well, look who’s finally bothered to arrive,” Hoyt said.
It didn’t do any good to explain limited flight schedules or work responsibilities. “We’re here now,” Thea said.
They didn’t hug; it was frowned on in her family. Instead, Lauren got busy putting the flowers they’d brought in water and Thea stepped around the bed to take her mother’s hand. “How are you feeling?”
“Oh, all right. The angina’s not too bad. They say the bypass should fix it.”
“She’s all right,” Hoyt said crossly, sitting down in the room’s armchair.
Thea looked at him and her first reaction wasn’t—as it had always been before—anxiety, frustration, the dreadful tension of wondering when he’d land the first verbal lash. It was simply this: he looked old.
She hadn’t been home in six years. In the intervening time, he’d grown lined, his face and hands spotted by the pitiless desert sun, his white hair thinning. He’d be in his mid-sixties by now, she realized, stooping more, getting smaller.
He adjusted the steel-rimmed glasses he wore. “What are you staring at, young lady?”
“I haven’t seen you in a while, that’s all.”
His eyes narrowed as though he knew exactly what she was thinking. “Look all you want. It’ll happen to you too, you know,” he said, sounding pleased at the prospect. “Just wait.”
“Then I guess I’d better get living my life while I can, hadn’t I?” The words popped out before she thought.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Lauren and I are staying at the hotel down the street rather than at the house.” She hadn’t expected to say that, either.
This time, both Hoyt and Lauren stared. “I told you—” he began.
“It’s easier for us to be here helping out with Mom, take some of the load off you.”
And right now she was going to take the space she needed, dammit, no matter what the price—real or emotional.
BRADY HAD NEVER particularly thought about the fact that he lived alone before. He’d liked it. If he wanted to leave his kayak in the living room while he was working on it, he did. There had been no one to fuss save Spike, who’d kept his comments to himself. Meanwhile, Brady had always been out doing things rather than sitting around. His house might have been empty but he’d never noticed.
Now he noticed. The rooms echoed; if he spoke, his voice sounded too loud. He’d taken to leaving on his eighteen-inch television just to hear voices, although it didn’t solve the problem. The sound of a human voice didn’t matter a hell of a lot if it wasn’t the right voice.
He missed Thea.
It wasn’t so bad during the day. He was out, he was busy. The hard part was about nine-thirty at night when he’d catch himself listening for the phone to ring, for a knock at the door. Or he’d wake up at dawn, thinking they should be taking out Darlene, but of course Darlene wasn’t any of his affair anymore.
And there was no they.
It was when he caught himself muttering one night in the kitchen that he started to worry. Talking to himself? Not healthy. So he’d decided to get a dog. A border collie would have been his first choice. Which didn’t at all explain why he found himself walking through the kennels at the Humane Society.
Why get a purebred, she’d said? Why not rescue a dog? Not that these guys looked much like they needed rescuing, he thought. With the spacious runs and toys and blankets, it was more puppy palace than puppy pound.
“Here’s a couple of treats to give out,” said the adoption specialist, David somebody or other, handing him dog biscuits. “You said you want a border collie mix?”
Brady didn’t bother to look at the I.D. placards on the front of the runs. He was more interested in checking out the dogs. Finding a new buddy meant finding chemistry, the same way you needed chemistry for a friendship.
The same way you needed chemistry for a lover.
Like with him and Thea. He resisted the sudden urge to hit the bars. Dammit, they’d had chemistry, connection, whatever that mystery thing was that made two people golden together. And she’d walked away from it, just walked away. She should have been here with him. They should have been here doing this together.
He stared into the empty run ahead of him. Although it wasn’t empty, he realized. It was just that the dog inside didn’t rush up to the bars, frenetically jumping, begging for attention. Instead, he sat alert and relaxed in the back corner, not afraid so much as assessing the situation.
“Rocky’s new to the shelter,” David told him. “He just came in last night so he might be shy.”
Brady nodded an
d crouched down, setting one of the dog biscuits on the floor and putting his knuckles through the tan bars. “Hey, Rock. What’s up?”
Rocky tilted his head. He looked like he’d been caught in a spill at the dog equivalent of the paint factory, his fluffy coat a patchy combination of colors. He had a tan muzzle topped by a black bandit mask dotted with gray; two tan spots right over his eyebrows gave him a quizzical look.
He decided Brady looked trustworthy—or at least the dog bone did. Smart dog, Brady figured, feeling the prickle of Rocky’s whiskers as the dog sniffed his fingers.
“Do you want us to bring him outside so you guys can get to know one another?” David asked.
“Sure.”
It was warm in the concrete-floored outdoor play area. Rocky burst out into it and did a couple of quick laps, thrilled to be out. This time when Brady crouched down, the dog trotted right up. They sat, eye to eye, Rocky tilting his head. The tan eyebrows rose.
“Looking me over, are you?” Brady pulled a ball out of his pocket and tossed it. Rocky dashed madly after it and came trotting back, dropping it in front of Brady, grinning expectantly. So what could he do but throw again, and again?
And after a while, some of the gloom lifted that had been riding Brady’s shoulders for days. He rubbed the dog’s ears. “Whaddya say, Rock, want to do this? I’ve got an in with a rawhide bone dealer. Stick with me, buddy, you’ll be set.”
And Brady would have something that’d make him feel good for a change.
As good as he could.
THE AFTERNOON SUN STREAMED in through the upper-level skylights in the tiny Yuma Airport as Thea and Lauren waited for their flights home. Around them, passengers filed into the terminal.
“You know, I have a whole different feeling about this place on the way home than I did on the way in,” Lauren observed, taking a drink of her latte. “It seems so benign now.”
“Funny how that works,” Thea agreed. “Although it wasn’t as bad this time as I’d expected. He wasn’t as bad.”
“Expect the worst and it’s all up from there,” Lauren said.
“He’s gotten older.”
“Not exactly mellowing with age, I don’t think.”
Hot Moves Page 19