by Fay Keenan
The slope of Willowbury Hill was a welcome distraction from her thoughts as she began the ascent to the summit, from which, she’d been reliably informed, she’d be able to see the whole of Somerset laid out before her. The sun had risen a fair bit earlier, and its comforting warmth soothed her body, if not her mind. Approaching the top, she slowed her pace, looking around her to take in the view, which truly was spectacular. Miles and miles of patchwork fields spread away from the hill, embroidered with hedgerows and clumps of trees. To the west lay the majestic trio of outcrops, one on land, Brent Knoll, rising unevenly from the grassy ocean of the Somerset Levels, and two more, Steep Holm and Flat Holm islands, literally rising from the Bristol Channel, with Wales dim and blueish grey beyond. A little turn and she saw the outline of the Quantock Hills. The sense of standing on an ancient island, with the other landmarks scattered around, was immense, and, in the weirdness of her life at this present time, a timely visual metaphor that choosing isolation was a lonely path to tread. She knew she’d never truly be alone so long as she had her siblings and her sons, but being with Harry this summer had reminded her just how much she missed the companionship and passion of someone she… someone she…
‘Hey,’ a voice came from behind her. She started as a shadow fell across her own. ‘I saw you from the window as you went past the shop. Not that I’m stalking you, or anything, but you looked a bit like you needed a chat.’
Kate’s eyes suddenly, inexplicably, burned. She shook her head. ‘I’m fine, honestly.’ But even as the words came out, she knew she didn’t believe them.
‘Kate.’ Harry’s voice was soft and gentle, and as welcome as the sun that was now warming her face. Taking a deep breath, she was just about to turn around, to look at him standing behind her, when his right hand settled on her shoulder. She luxuriated in the contact for a long, delicious moment, marvelling once again how just that simple touch could both excite and reassure her. Leaning into him, she relaxed her body as he drew up behind her, until his arms were around her, and they were both looking out over the seemingly endless view, out to the sea and beyond.
‘This place was meant to have been an island once,’ Harry murmured into her ear. ‘And legend has it that King Arthur came here to be healed. Perhaps it’s time for both of us to get better.’
‘Arthur’s spouse played around on him, too, didn’t she?’ Kate’s voice, while intended to be light, caught in a sob as she spoke.
Harry’s arms tightened around her and he rested his head on her shoulder. ‘I know it’ll never really go away,’ he began, ‘but I want to be in your life to help you live the rest of it, to show you that you deserve all the love I can give you, if you’ll have me.’
‘I know you do.’ She looked down at the vibrant green grass beneath her feet. ‘It’s just… there will always be things I’ll have to deal with, even now Phil and I are divorced.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Harry’s breath against her ear made Kate’s senses reel, despite her tumult of emotions.
‘Not right now,’ Kate said. ‘But I will, I promise. I need to phone Phil’s new partner and I’m just quietly freaking out about it.’
‘Is it the boys?’
Kate shook her head. ‘Something else.’
They lapsed into silence again, and Kate turned round. She noticed Harry’s untucked white shirt, undone at the neck and rolled to the forearms, the dark blue jeans and smart trainers. He was back in control after yesterday and, oddly, looked all the more at peace for it.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked softly.
Harry smiled. ‘Yes. Yes, I really am. I can’t pretend there won’t be times when I’m not, but I can deal with them.’ He broke his gaze from hers and looked out over the vista once more. ‘I’ve learned, especially since I’ve been living in Willowbury, that being happy, being contented isn’t a goal… it’s a series of moments made all the more sweet by the journey. Being sad, or hurt, or angry are all parts of that journey, too.’
Kate smiled. ‘You sound like a right old hippy again.’
In answer, Harry, dropped his gaze, and his lips to hers in a sweet, gentle kiss. ‘I don’t care,’ he murmured. ‘Being here in this moment with you is what matters.’
Kate’s lips responded immediately to Harry’s, deepening the kiss, and her knees had virtually given way. After everything that had happened over the past few weeks, and despite the call she was going to have to make when she got down the hill again, she felt at peace in Harry’s arms, even with the intense physical excitement that always rose in her when she kissed him.
After a little while, they broke the kiss again but stayed close. His embrace felt solid, reassuring and real. And at that moment, she knew for sure what she’d been skirting around pretty much since the moment she’d spilled coffee on him weeks ago. She was falling completely and utterly head over heels in love with him. And, although her residual conflict over the end of her marriage and her ex-husband’s new life would never really go away, it would, perhaps, just sit in the background a little more easily as time went on. Especially if this new chapter of her life, or at least what she was hoping would be a new chapter, could have Harry in it.
She took a step back and looked up at Harry once again. ‘I want to tell you something,’ she said softly. ‘But I don’t expect you to do anything about it, if you don’t want to. I’ve learned the hard way not to ignore emotions, and what they’re telling me, and I don’t want to end up doing the same this time.’
‘Okay.’ Harry smiled gently. ‘Then tell me.’
Kate took a deep breath. ‘This summer has been the happiest I’ve had for a long time. In spite of all of the ups and downs, I’ve come to realise a few things. And one of those things is that I’m falling in love with you, Harry.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not saying that to put any kind of pressure on you, and what I have to tell you next might make you run about a thousand miles in the opposite direction, but it did cross my mind that perhaps I might want to spend some more time in Willowbury, if I can.’
Harry’s look of surprise was swiftly followed by one of excitement, which, even before he spoke, reassured Kate. ‘Wow. I mean… wow!’ He ran his hands down her arms until he was holding her hands. ‘And there I was, worrying about pressuring you.’
Kate laughed shakily. ‘I have no idea if it’s practical or not, and the house I want isn’t even on the market, but one step at a time.’
‘And you’re falling in love with me?’ Harry said wonderingly, as if the first part of her confession had only just sunk in. ‘With me?’
Kate’s laugh turned to a hiccup as she nodded. ‘I am, Harry.’
‘Oh God, Kate…’ Harry pulled her close. ‘I didn’t want to pressure you by telling you that I felt exactly the same, but since you said it first…’ He trailed off tantalisingly, pulling back again to look into her eyes. She noticed, not for the first time, how deeply, darkly blue they were. ‘I’m falling in love with you too. And if my hands weren’t shaking so badly right now, I’d be trying to find a sappy track by Foreigner on my phone to underline the bloody point.’
Kate laughed again. ‘I’ll hold you to that, the next time we’re back at yours.’
They embraced again, both shaking rather more now than they had been at the start of their conversation.
‘Come back now if you like,’ Harry said huskily. ‘No time like the present. And the shop doesn’t open until nine o’clock.’
Kate shook her head. ‘Much as I’d love to, I’d better make this call, and then I really should discuss the possibility of moving here with my sons.’
‘I don’t envy you,’ Harry said. ‘Of all the conversations to have, that’s right up there on the list of tricky ones.’
‘I know,’ Kate said. ‘But I honestly do think it could work for us. And they’ll still be able to spend lots of time back with their dad who has a house big enough to accommodate them without them having to cram in together. Even with the new baby.’
>
Kate felt Harry stiffen in surprise, but then he just as quickly relaxed. ‘So that’s what you’ve got to make your call about, I presume?’
‘Yup.’ Kate, despite herself, smiled. ‘Can’t say I envy him the sleepless nights and nappy changes.’ Then, realising what she’d said, especially after Harry’s stressful event yesterday, she shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Harry, that was insensitive.’
Harry, to her relief, smiled back. ‘I don’t expect you to pussy-foot around the subject, Kate, especially not if you and I are going to be spending more time together. I can’t live my life trying to avoid it, after all. And as I said, I know there will be moments like yesterday when I struggle, when something triggers a response like that, but it’s part of me, it’s who I am. And I’m at peace with that.’
Kate leaned up and kissed him again. ‘I really am falling in love with you, you know.’
‘And I with you. Now let’s get off this hill, shall we, and get a coffee.’
Nodding, hand in hand with Harry, Kate headed back down to Willowbury, feeling more than ready to face Jennifer, Corey, his brothers and whatever else was going to be thrown her way.
56
After a coffee with Harry from the Cosy Coffee Shop, and a croissant for breakfast, Kate decided it was now a reasonable time to call Jennifer back. It was coming up to eight thirty, after all. It was likely that the boys would be stirring too, and she needed to make sure she was on hand for when they did. They might all be getting older, but she still wanted to spend as much time with them as she could. Fortunately, the conversation with Jennifer turned out to be not half as awkward as she’d been anticipating. Perhaps it was just that she, Kate, felt a whole lot more settled after coming to her own decisions about the next stages of her life, and as she ended the call, she felt lighter. Jennifer had been guarded, but her excitement had shone through and, to her surprise, Kate found herself feeling pleased for the other woman, if not a little smug that Phil would be the one facing sleepless nights all over again. She definitely felt as though her time for all that had well and truly passed and was glad.
‘Everything okay, Mum?’ Corey asked as he came downstairs showered and ready to begin work at Vale Volumes.
‘Yeah,’ Kate said. ‘Yes, actually, it really is.’ She paused, wondering if now was the time to bring Corey into the conversation about her potential future plans. ‘Have you got a minute?’
‘I think so,’ Corey replied. ‘Harry’s not expecting me in until ten today, so if it turns into more than a minute, can you drive me to the shop?’
‘Sure. Can you go and get your brothers for me, too?’
Corey nodded and, within a couple of minutes, all three of her sons were seated at the kitchen table. Tom and Will were still in their pyjamas, but were, at least, awake.
‘So, what’s on your mind, Mum?’ Corey said.
Kate looked at her eldest son, who, in these few short weeks already seemed happier, more relaxed and more confident. Was it to do with being here? she thought. She felt suddenly nervous about discussing her plans with them all.
‘Well, I was thinking about what happens after the holidays,’ she began. ‘And the more I think about it, the more I think I’d like to make some changes to how things are at the moment. After all, even though Gran’s offered us her annexe, it’s hardly big enough for you all and me, and I reckon we’d all go nuts within weeks.’
‘Okay,’ Corey said carefully. ‘So, what is the alternative plan?’
‘Yeah, Mum, what are you thinking?’ Tom piped up, his face a mixture of excitement and concern.
‘Well…’ Kate looked down at her hands, prolonging the moment for as long as she could. ‘How would you all feel about moving here, to Willowbury?’
‘Are you serious?’ Corey said. ‘I mean, is this because of Harry?’
‘Who’s Harry?’ Will asked.
‘No!’ Kate said quickly. ‘Harry’s just a friend—’
‘Friend? Yeah right!’ Corey smirked.
‘Anyway,’ Kate went on hurriedly. ‘It’s more that I’ve really liked being closer to your uncles and aunt while we’ve been here. And I feel settled.’ She paused, searching the boys’ faces for a reaction, but they were listening carefully to her, not giving anything away. ‘And I’m not going to up sticks after knowing some guy for six weeks, anyway. I should hope you know me better than that.’
‘Fair enough,’ Will said. ‘But it would suck, being on the other side of the country from my mates.’
‘I know,’ Kate said. ‘And I wouldn’t do anything without talking it through with you all first. It’s just that…’ She trailed off as the reality of her decision, not just for herself but for her sons, really hit home. ‘I could never afford a house like we had in Cambridge when Dad and I were still together. Here, there’s a chance we could have something better, and the chance to do some new things. And I know how much you’ve liked being here when we’ve visited. This week, before we have to go back to Gran’s, we’ve got a real chance to explore, and see if this is the kind of place we feel we can live. What do you think?’
‘You’re not going to, like, make any decisions right away are you, Mum?’ Will asked. ‘I mean, we are going to go back home at the end of the summer, aren’t we?’
‘Of course,’ Kate said. ‘But we can’t stay at Gran’s forever; the annexe just isn’t big enough. Here, we’ve got the chance to find somewhere we really like, and we’ll also be closer to your uncles. A lot closer,’ Kate said unguardedly.
‘What?’ Corey looked quizzical.
‘Oh, nothing,’ Kate replied hastily. ‘It’s just a pie in the sky idea at the moment anyway. I need to do some more thinking first.’
‘And we’ll get to stay with Dad as much as we want, too?’ Tom said.
Kate smiled. ‘I’m sure your dad and I will be able to work something out that suits all of us.’
‘Look, Mum.’ Corey’s voice became very serious. Kate heard in it the same tone she used to use when she wanted to speak for herself and her brothers, as the eldest. ‘Do what you want to do. We’ll all be fine, honestly. If moving here’s what feels right, then just do it. It’s about time you did something to make you happy, instead of worrying about everyone else.’
Kate looked at all three of her boys in turn, and wasn’t surprised that her younger two were looking decidedly less happy about this potential life decision than their brother. But then, she reasoned, this was a hell of a bombshell to drop on them when she hadn’t seen them for a lot of the summer. Kate’s throat constricted. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘That means a lot, Corey, it really does. But I promise I’m not going to make any mad decisions without fully considering you all first. This has to be something that works for all of us.’
‘Cool.’ Corey got up from the table. ‘I’d better get to the bookshop. If I jog, I’ll just about make it on time.’
Kate was encouraged by Corey’s acceptance of the proposal, but something told her she’d have a way to go to convince her other two sons. Although, as Will got up, he turned back to her and grinned. ‘It is pretty nice here,’ he said. ‘And you seem miles happier than you’ve been in ages, Mum. I’m not saying I’m, like, cool about it—’ he rolled his eyes at Corey as his older brother slapped him on the back of the head on the way out to get ready for work, ‘but as long as I could still see my mates, maybe it wouldn’t be totally lame.’
‘Even if we do decide to do this, it’ll take time to get schools and things sorted, anyway,’ Kate said. ‘I’m not going to drag you here kicking and screaming overnight, I promise.’
Tom, who’d been fairly quiet throughout the conversation, looked up at Kate from where he was still sitting at the kitchen table. ‘Can we stay with Dad if we want to?’
Kate felt her heart lurch. ‘Would that be what you really wanted, love?’
Tom shrugged, fingers picking at a bit of loose varnish on the tabletop. ‘I dunno.’
‘There’s a lot to thin
k about for all of us,’ Kate replied. She stood up from the table and went over to Tom, putting an arm around his shoulders. ‘I know you’ve been through a lot, these past couple of years. That’s why I wanted to talk to you all, to see how you might feel about this.’
Tom leaned into her for a moment, before he got up and gave her a smile. ‘Uncle Aidan’s a better footballer than Dad… maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.’
Realising that her youngest son was making quite a concession, she smiled back at him. ‘Maybe it wouldn’t,’ she said softly, as Tom wandered off to get dressed.
57
Corey was happily rearranging the ‘Thrillers’ section of Vale Volumes when Harry decided that it was time to take his newest employee out to lunch. Since Corey’s ‘official’ work experience stint was coming to an end soon, Harry figured it warranted some sort of reward. He’d grown to like having Corey around, and if things didn’t work out in the way Kate had hinted back on Willowbury Hill, he’d miss the boy when he went back to Cambridge.
‘Fancy a bite to eat?’ Harry asked as he ambled down the shop, ostensibly to inspect Corey’s handiwork with the shelves.
‘Sure,’ Corey said, stepping back from the shelf. ‘Did you want me to nip out and grab you something, boss?’
‘I thought I’d treat you today, since you’ll be going home at the end of next week,’ Harry said. He didn’t know quite how much of her plans Kate had shared with Corey, so he tried to act as though he was none the wiser about Kate’s possible relocation to Willowbury.
‘Chill, Harry,’ Corey replied, giving Harry a grin. ‘Mum’s already told me we might be moving here, so you can talk about it if you want to.’
Harry shook his head. ‘Why do I always feel as if you’re one step ahead of me?’
‘Your age, boss,’ Corey said wryly.
‘Do you still want a job or not?’ Harry grinned back. ‘So, about that lunch…’