Once I made the turn after Witches Row into the alley and went down the staircases, I saw the bright-red metal door and pounded on it twice. I remembered the password Ken used but didn’t know if it changed every night. If so, I’d really hit rock bottom.
The square window on the door slid open with a squeak. A set of green eyes appeared. “Password.”
“Waldo Wagner,” I said shakily, rubbing my hands together as if I were cold, but the weather was warm.
The window slammed shut and I didn’t get a response. I clenched my jaw, ready to punch my way into the Magic Den, but the door clicked and cracked open. I released a breath.
Looking behind me as if someone were watching, I went inside and shut the door. Although it was sunny outside, the den was covered in darkness, but candles and lanterns made certain areas bright enough so I knew where to walk.
As I made my way to the bar, I watched the patrons who’d probably been here all night and winced as they drank and shot up. I was only here to drink. I had to remember that. Luckily, Shawn was dead, and a young girl had replaced him. She looked Fae with her pointed ears and flawless skin.
“What are you having?” she said as she wiped down the bar.
“A bottle of whiskey.” I pulled some cash from my pockets and scoped out the place for an empty spot.
“We can’t give out the bottle,” she said, and I slowly turned my gaze to her.
“Trust me, no one’s calling to get your liquor license taken away. I’m gonna drink that whole bottle, so you might as well give it to me now.” I smiled wide as I snatched the bottle from her hands, not caring what brand, and dropped a hundred-dollar bill on the counter. “Keep the change.”
Before she could stop me, I sauntered over to the only empty sofa I found with privacy and laid across it so no one got any ideas to join me. I uncapped the bottle and stared at it hesitantly. Did I really want to blow my sobriety to hell by drowning in whiskey and overindulging? I’d taken two steps forward, but if I did this, I would be taking five steps back.
Cradling the bottle as if it were a baby in my hands, I curled up on the sofa, unsure of what to do. The smell of alcohol shot up my nose, and I unfurled my wings to wrap them around me so no one could see me, closing myself off from the world. I didn’t care that everyone would know what I was. I wanted the warmth and comfort of my wings, the closet thing I had to home. I’d torn them from my body and prevented them from coming out because I didn’t want to be reminded of home, but now, that was I all I wanted. Odin was giving me that opportunity. And I’d squandered it.
I felt a ripple on my wings and shuddered from the sensation. It was as if a hand was stroking them. Not just the feathers but also the muscles that lined my wings and connected to my back, sending shivers down my spine.
“Raven,” a hoarse voice said through the fog in my mind. I recognized that voice. It made me smile but it also made me sad. “Look at me, Raven.” I unfurled my wings and was face to face with Fen. His wolfish grin was nearly my undoing. “What are you doing?”
“What … what are you doing here?” I held the bottle of whiskey as if it were my lifeline.
“I’m looking for you, darling,” he grinned. “What are you doing here?” He was on his knees beside the sofa. He placed his chin atop his arm on the armrest of the couch and our faces were so close we could kiss.
“I’m debating whether I should have a drink or not,” I whispered and tightened my hand on the neck of the bottle. He placed his free hand over mine.
“I see that, Raven.” Fen brushed my hair away from my face and rested his head on his arm and watched me. “Your friends are worried about you. They’re going all around town looking for you.”
I wanted to ask him how he knew this, if he’d spoken to them, but my tongue felt so numb and heavy, I couldn’t form the words. I only stared back at him.
“Even when you’re my enemy, Raven, I still can’t seem to stay away,” Fen whispered, stroking my hair. “You’re a dangerous creature.”
I kept quiet, clutching the bottle so tightly I feared it would shatter in my hands. Even in my addled state I knew this could be one of Fen’s games, or he could be taking advantage of me. Either way, I wasn’t playing.
“I know you don’t trust me,” he continued. “And you shouldn’t. But I will never hurt you, Raven. Never. I wish you would believe me when I say I’ll protect you no matter what.”
My eyes narrowed. “Liar.” I inched the bottle closer to my mouth. “You hurt me when you stole the sword. When you and your sister lied to me about opening the gates to Valhalla. When you double-crossed me and used me to get to the Fae realm. You hurt me.” I sat up and leaned on my elbows.
“And I will regret it until the day I die.” He looked down at my mouth, and heat rushed through my body. “Raven, you can have one drink, but you don’t have to get drunk. It’s okay to be sober.”
I stared into his dark eyes and, for a second, fell into a trance. “Everything hurts more when I’m sober,” I said without thinking.
His gaze softened and his voice became like honey. “I don’t want you to hurt, Hrefna.”
My mouth parted and I sucked in a breath. I was at a loss for words, and all I could do was look away. Before he could stop me, I took a big swig from the bottle. Some dribble escaped from the corners of my mouth. When I was finished, I gasped as if I’d held my breath, and he wiped the excess from my chin
I dropped the bottle of whiskey, and it clanked on the floor, spilling amber liquid and rolling into the darkness of the den.
“All right, Raven, let’s get you out of here,” Fen said.
I didn’t respond as he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder, my face meeting his backside as he walked us out of the Magic Den.
The minute I was thrown into a car, I passed out from exhaustion. I hadn’t rested since the fight with the ogres and I finally shut down. It was probably the most irresponsible thing I’ve done because Fen didn’t take me to Will or Charlie. He took me to an apartment I didn’t recognize. He carried me inside and took me straight to a huge bathroom that was nothing compared to Charlie’s. It had a massive, porcelain claw-footed tub with a rainfall shower next to it, a vanity with two sinks and mirrors, and a sitting area. The bathroom was like an apartment in itself. I’d seen many beautiful places in the world, but I’d squatted in probably the lowest apartments I could find in the last few decades. Anywhere that made me invisible.
Fen sat me on a plush chair in the seating area and began to undress me. My head lulled back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. I didn’t have the strength to stop him. His callused hands grazed my bare arm as he lifted my shirt off of me, and the feeling electrified my skin. I moaned in what should have been a protest, but his actions had the opposite effect. I felt him tug at my boots and heard them as they thudded on the ground. He slowly eased my pants and underwear off my lower body, and I instinctively held his shoulders to keep from sliding off my seat. I sat there exposed before him—it wasn’t the first time—but I crossed my arms over my breasts as I watched him fill the tub.
Fen came toward me and scooped me up, cradling me in his arms. I nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his earthy scent of fresh rain and sunshine. I soaked it in as I gripped his shirt and clung to him. Fen lowered me into the tub, and I hissed when I felt the heat of the water, but I refused to release my hold on him.
“Raven,” he whispered in my ear as he set me down, “you have to let me go.”
I shook my head. “I can’t give you what you want, Fen,” I whispered. “It’s gone.”
He tensed beneath my grip. “You’re tired—”
“We’d buried the sword in a grave.” I swallowed as I spoke my truth. “The dead took it. Now it’s missing.”
Those dark orbs turned to me and pierced me in place. “And you can’t find it because you cloaked it in magic,” he stated.
I nodded.
“Hrefna,” he caressed my cheek, “why
didn’t you come to me? Why do this to yourself?”
“I don’t trust you.” My grip on his shirt tightened. I rubbed my thighs together, and he peered over and noticed. I released him and pushed him away, dunking myself underwater to soak my head and shake myself out of whatever fog I was in. I was walking a fine line. Fen was gone when I came up for air, and I was left alone and cold.
Finished with my bath, I grabbed a towel and dried myself off. My hair left a trail of water on the tile floor as I walked out of the bathroom and into the waiting apartment. It was spacious and grand with a beautiful view of downtown. Seated on the black leather sofa in front of the crackling fire, Fen held a drink in his hand. I stood wrapped in a towel, watching him.
“It’s not polite to stare,” he said as he took another sip of his drink. He slowly turned his head toward me, his dark eyes glinting like onyx against the flames. “Would you like a drink?” He raised his glass.
I almost wanted to laugh. After everything we spoke about, the last thing I should be having is more, but then I thought about the withdrawals and nodded. He pointed to the small bar behind him, and I took that as an invitation for me to pour myself a drink. This time, I didn’t go overboard. I poured two knuckles’ worth of bourbon and went to join Fen on the sofa.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as we both watched the flames in front of us. Neither of us said a word until Fen finished his drink and slammed his glass on the table beside him.
“So the sword is gone,” he mused. “I know the deal you made with Odin.”
I looked down at my glass as if the answers I needed were buried at the bottom of it. “I know the deal I made as well. It’s my burden to carry.”
“Let me help you carry the load.” He turned to me. “I won’t hide my intentions from you this time. You know what I want, and I will stop at nothing to get it, but we can work together, Raven. I need you, and I think you need me too.”
Gooseflesh rose on my arms, and I tried not to rub them. I didn’t want him to see how much he affected me. What he was offering was a temporary truce with my enemy to fight our common one. But when Odin would be defeated, it would be no secret that we’d be at odds again. Everything was out on the table this time unlike before.
He slid closer to me. “We’re a good team, Raven. We’ve proven that time and again,” he murmured, his breath on my skin.
“You’ve proven you’re good at tricking me and I’m a fool for falling for it.” I stared hard into the flames.
“Not this time. You know what I want. No games, only hard truths. And if the opportunity arises, I will take it. I’m laying out all my cards.”
“What about the humans and the evil plaguing their realm?”
He lowered his head. “That is not my problem. And it shouldn’t be yours. Together we can kill Odin—”
“We will do no such thing. I will not be part of your prophecy. I have other plans for Odin and it doesn’t call for his death.”
Fen leaned back. “If you don’t plan to kill him, then what are you going to do?”
I turned to him. “I plan to imprison him.”
“That’s going to take a whole hell of a lot of magic, Raven. Do you even have that? Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
I snorted. Just like a man to underestimate a woman. “I have a Norn.”
He straightened. “The three of them died. I was there; we all saw them die. How do you have a Norn?”
I smirked. “Verdandi is possessing a medium’s body. She’s made it semi-permanent and has her abilities.”
He snapped his fingers and laughed. “That’s who you were with when you came to the Fae realm. The one who threw the sleeping powder in my face.”
“The one and only.” I grinned.
“That bitch,” he muttered.
“Hey, watch it.” I raised a brow. “She is building a prison in Limbo that can hold Odin. But I needed the sword so he believed we had a deal. If he doesn’t see the sword, he won’t open the gates to Valhalla, and then we won’t have him in Limbo where we need him.”
I was risking it all by telling him our plan, but he was right; we needed each other to defeat a common enemy.
“If he opens the gates to Valhalla, will you go home?”
I tilted my head, not expecting that question. “I will ask my sisters for help.”
He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “You’ll throw away your one chance at freedom for these humans?”
Would I? I could say a great many things right now but they meant nothing until I saw the gates of my home and the faces of my sisters. Until that moment, I didn’t know what I would do.
“Why does it matter to you?”
He took the glass of bourbon I’d been nursing and placed it on the table next to his. In one fell swoop, he grabbed me by the hips and swung me over him. I was suddenly straddling him, gripping the towel around me tightly.
“Everything about you matters to me.” Staring up at me, he drew smooth lines up and down my thighs with his finger. “I want to see you.”
I clutched the towel ends as I stared into his eyes. I couldn’t blame it on the fact I was drunk because I was sober and he knew it. But as I let the towel fall between us, I no longer crossed a line—I eliminated it from the playing field. I gave in to the hungers of the flesh, my eyes became hooded with lust, and I forgot about everything else we were supposed to do.
Succumbing to a forbidden need, I slid my hand over my breasts, down my stomach, and between my legs to the small bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs. My breathing grew ragged with heat as I placed my free hand over his. I never broke eye contact with him.
“Is this what you want?” I continued stroking small circles between my thighs and let out a small moan.
He gripped my legs tighter and hardened beneath me.
“Don’t stop,” he said before bending down and licking my nipple. I threw my head back and slowed my ministrations. “I said don’t stop.”
I laughed and resumed stroking myself. Fen moved a hand between my legs and inserted a finger inside me. I grasped his head and held him at my chest as I moved in rhythm with him. He inserted another finger. I was going to explode and couldn’t see straight. Suddenly, he removed his hand and threw me on the sofa.
I leaned up on my elbows and watched him pace in front of the fireplace, loosening the top few buttons of his shirt.
“This doesn’t have to mean anything, Fen,” I said, my voice hoarse and almost unrecognizable. “I know who you are and you know who I am. We can separate business and pleasure.” I sat up and adjusted myself into a seated position with my legs spread, waiting for him.
He turned to look at me, and the darkness in his obsidian eyes was full of wickedness, sending chills down my spine.
He slowly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, untucking it from his slacks and shrugging it off. Letting it fall to the ground, he prowled toward me like the predator he was and stood between my legs. Unbuckling his belt, I pushed them down, along with his boxer briefs. He stepped out of them and stood before me fully naked. It wasn’t as if we hadn’t seen each other this way before, but this time was different. I felt it. Something between us had shifted even as I told him it meant nothing. Something was happening, and we were denying it to each other.
He laid me down on the sofa, placing himself between my legs, and I felt his warmth. I wrapped my arms around his neck wanting him closer, wanting more of his heat.
“This means nothing,” he growled as he plunged into me, and I screamed.
16
Flashback
Everything was covered in darkness and smoke. There was a bitterness in the air I couldn’t place as Marcus walked me into the lounge for colored people. Others greeted him like he was a regular, and I trailed behind him, clasping his hands so we didn’t lose one another. He led me to a booth in the far back corner that was already occupied by three others, but they made room for us.
“Hey, Marcus,” one of the women said as she smoked something tightly wrapped in a small piece of white paper. It wasn’t a cigarette, that much I could smell. “Who’s this?” She tilted her head and smirked as she exhaled, sending a cloud of smoke into my face.
“This is Raven. I met her in the riots.” He put an arm around me. “She was about to get herself into some trouble with some pigs before I stepped in.”
“I would have been fine,” I gritted through my teeth.
The group at the table laughed. I didn’t find the humor in my statement, and it only angered me further. I clenched my fists under the table and was seconds from bolting, but a waitress appeared with a round of beers.
“I didn’t order—” I began, but she smiled at me and walked away.
“It’s on me,” Marcus whispered in my ear. “Drink up.”
I ground my teeth together as I stared at the mug of chilled ale before me. “I told you, I don’t drink.”
The guy across the booth from me snorted. “Who is this drag you brought with you, Marcus?”
“Easy,” Marcus said. “She’s new to the South.”
“I can also speak for myself.” I leaned forward on the table and away from Marcus. I didn’t like that they were talking as if I wasn’t there. All of my training told me to stay away from alcohol and marijuana, and here it was front and center.
“Well, if you don’t drink,” the woman said. “Want a joint?” She held it out for me to take, and I sat there like prey amongst predators for the first time in my long life. They watched me carefully as I took a second to decide. If I wanted to try to help these humans, I needed to fit in, and this seemed like the only way.
The Sword of Souls Page 11