A Beautiful Dark

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A Beautiful Dark Page 11

by Jocelyn Davies


  That night I had strange dreams. In one of them Asher and I were running from a volcano. I tripped and fell in the street, and Devin was the one who saved me. Aunt Jo was there, angry that I could be stupid enough to trip. Cassie and Dan were buried under the hot, molten lava. They didn’t make it.

  I woke up the next morning gasping. I was once again unable to shake the feeling that I was floating above my mattress. I couldn’t handle any other strange things happening to me this weekend. I didn’t open my eyes until the dizziness subsided.

  And that’s when I realized how cold the room was.

  Peeking my head out of the covers, I felt a frigid breeze brush against my face. I looked around my room, and my eyes rested on the curtains flapping gently against the wall. The window was open, though I’d been making sure to lock it every night before bed—ever since the morning after my birthday.

  My heart pounding, I scrambled out of bed to close it. But I stopped short before I ever reached the window.

  An inky black feather was dancing along the floorboards in the icy breeze. I had never seen anything like it before. Its length spanned at least from my elbow to wrist, and the color wasn’t just black, like the crows that stalked the fields behind our house—it had an iridescence to it.

  I bent to pick it up, examine it, but another gust blew the curtains into my face and before I knew it the feather was swept up by the wind and twirling through the open window, back out into the morning sky.

  What kind of bird has feathers like that?

  I shook my head. Too many strange things had been happening lately. Maybe on my birthday when I stepped out of the Bean, I stepped into an alternate universe.

  I spent the morning reading. In the afternoon, I hiked the fields near our house. I was hoping I’d cross paths with Devin, even though I knew that was impossible. He would be at the ski lodge until the bus brought everyone home late that afternoon.

  At one point along the trail, I thought I heard a branch snap behind me. I had the unmistakable feeling that someone was watching me—but when I turned around, time after time, no one was there. I was alone, the sound of my breath echoing into the gorge.

  That night I dreamed about my parents, and in my dream, they told me the story that Asher had told us around the campfire, and soon my memories became dreams and my dreams were memories. The connections were slipping from me as fast as I’d made them.

  On Monday, Cassie was waiting for me in the parking lot when I drove up. Her arms were around me as soon as I got out of the car.

  “Are you okay?” she cried. “Did Jo rush you off to the hospital?”

  “I somehow convinced her not to,” I said. “But let me know if I can’t remember how to get to homeroom or suddenly start falling over in the middle of conversations, okay?”

  Cassie smirked. “So you’re telling me that if you start acting weird, to let you know?”

  I nodded.

  “Um, Skye?” she said, tapping me on the shoulder. “You’ve been acting weird for days.”

  I laughed lightly and tried to play it off. “I’ve just been distracted, that’s all.”

  Cassie smiled at me knowingly but didn’t say anything else on the subject.

  We started walking toward the main building. “How did the rest of the weekend go?” I asked.

  “Not as much fun without you there, but I persevered. I can ski the bunny slope without falling now, at least. So yay me.”

  “Gold star!” I smiled at her.

  So far, I was doing a pretty good job of pretending not to have anything pressing on my mind. But I had to ask. I took my phone out of my pocket and pretended to scroll through a few texts. “Uh, how were things with Devin and Asher?”

  “Weird. They had some kind of family emergency and left a few hours after you did. At least that’s what I heard.”

  I stopped, grabbed her arm, and spun her around to face me. “You mean they weren’t there?”

  “Yep. That’s what ‘left’ means. What’s wrong with you?”

  “How did they leave? They came on the bus.”

  She rolled her shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I guess someone came to get them. It was the middle of the night. What’s the big deal?”

  I wasn’t sure, but something told me it was a big deal. I intended to get the answer very soon when I confronted them.

  Unfortunately they were conveniently late to homeroom. Ms. Manning had already begun her morning announcements when Asher sauntered in with a you-gotta-forgive-me grin. Devin trailed in after him, avoiding her accusatory stare.

  As they walked past me, Asher’s grin disappeared. His gaze wandered over me as though he was searching for something. I felt my blood blaze through my cheeks. Then before I knew it, his eyes flicked away from me as he took his seat.

  Devin sat down next to him, and caught my eye. “You okay?” he mouthed as he pushed his backpack under his chair.

  I shook my head slightly. “After class,” I mouthed back.

  But class dragged on longer than usual, just to torture me, it seemed. The clock ticked away, every second stretching into five. I sat in my seat, tearing tiny bits of paper out of my notebook and balling them up into mountains of paper snow on my desk. By the time the bell rang, I was a time bomb ready to explode.

  I couldn’t reach them in the swarm to leave the room. Cassie was trying to talk to me about getting tickets to a show on Thursday at Red Rocks, and when I turned away for a second, they’d disappeared.

  Out in the hall, I thought I caught a glimpse of Asher’s hair as he turned the corner and down a staircase. I followed, maneuvering my way through the between-classes crowd.

  On the first floor, the hallways had begun to thin out. He was at the end of the hall, by my locker. He turned around. Our eyes met.

  He was waiting for me.

  I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the nearest empty classroom.

  “Ooh, Skye,” he said, grinning as I slammed the door behind us and pushed him up against it. “I want this, too, but not here! Not now!”

  “Look, I have to talk to you,” I said, ignoring him. But standing there staring into his dark eyes, it was hard to ignore how it felt to be so close to him, to be touching him. Part of me wished, just for a second, that I had pulled him in here for another reason.

  I pushed that thought out of my head and pressed on.

  “My ankle is healed. Completely healed, after Devin touched it. And you created fire, out of thin air. And before that, there was an avalanche, and before that, a brand-new boiler exploded in the middle of my party—when you and Devin were fighting. And you know a story that my parents used to sing to me at night as they put me to bed. How do you know it? How do you know the stories they made up just for me?”

  The smile melted away from Asher’s face, and his eyes grew serious. I loosened my grip on him, and he slipped away from the door, moving farther into the empty classroom.

  “Look, Skye—”

  “They were bedtime lullabies. Stories. That’s all they were supposed to be. Stories. Something to help me fall asleep.” As I said it out loud, I felt the adrenaline I’d been holding inside all morning begin to seep out. I sat down in an empty chair.

  Asher ran a hand through his dark hair, watching me. “I’m sorry,” he said, clearly agitated.

  “Just tell me,” I choked out. “If this involves my parents, I have a right to know.”

  “Look, I know how you feel. I want to, I really do. But not here.” He glanced over my head toward the door. “If Devin sees us—”

  “I don’t care about Devin!” I yelled, my temper rising. “I want to know, Asher. Tell me.” I steeled my voice, quieted it. “Does this have anything to do with my parents?”

  He looked torn, his jaw working like he was grappling with something.

  “Okay,” he finally decided. “Meet me on the roof after school. I will tell you everything. I promise. Maybe not all at once, but . . .” I leveled him with my gaze, and he falte
red. “It’s still being worked out, a lot of it. We don’t know . . .” I waited for him to finish, but it seemed like he’d said everything he was going to say.

  “‘We’ as in . . . you and Devin?”

  He rested both hands against the desk, then stood up again and paced the room restlessly.

  “That’s all I can tell you right now,” he said. “Until it’s time. It’s . . . it’s the one rule I promised I’d follow.”

  “Fine. You’d better be there.” I stood to leave, but he grabbed my hand.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, softer this time. I lifted my eyes from our hands and looked up into his face. I could tell that he meant it. I just wish I knew what he was sorry about.

  I didn’t know what to say. It was hard to remain mad when what I really felt was confused.

  I pulled my hand away from his and walked into the hall. As I glanced back, I could see Asher standing there, just watching me.

  The remainder of the day was a meaningless haze of random equations, dates, and other things to memorize. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Asher knew—what he promised he would tell me. Part of me was nervous, but part of me, a small part, dared to hope that whatever it was did have something to do with my parents. That it would give me some clues about their life. The connection between the stories they used to tell me and his similar story at the campfire was too strong. I had to know, or I would drown in the not-knowing.

  At lunch, Cassie rattled on about the weekend.

  “You know Trey, from my band? He’s kind of a babe, isn’t he, Skye? I love that whole rumpled plaid thing. So hipster. Mmm.”

  “Trey?” Dan’s face scrunched up. “Now we’re on to Trey? Do you ever rest? What about the two brooding arsonists from Denver?”

  Cassie stole a French fry from his plate.

  “Devin and Asher? Old news,” she said as she dipped it in ketchup. “Besides, I heard Ellie has the market cornered as far as Asher is concerned.”

  My attention snapped to her.

  “What?”

  “I told you to act faster,” Cassie said matter-of-factly. “But I think you snoozed on this one. Ellie told some of the girls on the trip that she and Asher are together. I guess they hooked up a bunch of times or something.” She swallowed. “She says he’s a good kisser.”

  Intense heat radiated from my chest to my cheeks. I glanced over to the table where Asher usually sat surrounded by girls. Today the table was empty.

  I felt like an idiot. While I’d been brooding about my dead parents and stupid lullabies from my childhood that I barely remembered, Asher had been off hooking up with her. And I didn’t even know why I cared so much.

  Cassie glanced at Dan then back at me.

  “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I know you haven’t really liked someone since the whole thing with Jordan last year—”

  “I don’t like Asher,” I cut in. “And I’m over that whole Jordan thing.”

  “Skye.” She put her hand on my arm. “Yeah, okay. It was hard when he cheated on you with Megan Birch. It was an incredibly dick thing to do, and we all hated him for it. We still do. But you can’t blame Asher for this one. You walked away from him every chance you got. Not all guys are going to totally screw you the way Jordan did. Sometimes you have to risk a little bit of pride to fall in love.”

  “Cassie.” I sighed. “You’ve never been in love. How do you know what you’re talking about?”

  “I read it in Cosmo,” she said. “When you like someone, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to let them in. Love is messy.” She bit into a carrot. “Like the Rebels in Asher’s story.”

  “Oh my god, stop, okay? I don’t like Asher!” My voice sounded hollow.

  “Devin then? I noticed him talking to you as he walked by in homeroom.”

  “Two words is not exactly talking.”

  “It’s gotta be one of them. You should have seen the relief on your face when they strolled in.”

  “I was just glad that whatever their emergency was—it was okay now.” I kept spinning the lies and my guilt increased with each one. I’d always been totally honest with Cassie.

  Dan mentioned something about her band, and thankfully the conversation veered away from me.

  As soon as the bell rang at three fifteen, I took the stairs two at a time to the roof. As I opened the fire door, the fear struck me that the roof might be empty. What would I do if Asher had been lying?

  But he was there when I pushed through the heavy metal door. Waiting for me.

  And so was Devin.

  Chapter 16

  Devin stood with his back against the water tower, his lips drawn into a tight line, arms folded across his chest. There was nothing tranquil in his expression or stance. He was all hard lines and edges.

  Just a couple of feet away from him, Asher balanced on the edge of the roof, his arms spread wide. Just picturing him with Ellie after everything that had happened that weekend made my stomach churn.

  I hesitated before I spoke. I was going to be cool. Controlled. I was going to pretend that what they were about to tell me didn’t mean the world to me and maybe even more than that.

  “Planning to jump?” I asked, placing a hand casually on my hip.

  They both whipped around. Asher hopped down and grinned. “Not now.”

  “Did he tell you anything else?” Devin asked, shooting an accusing glare at Asher before taking a step toward me. His voice softened. “What do you know?”

  “Uh, nothing,” I replied, with a glance at Asher. “That’s why I’m here.”

  “Told you,” Asher said smugly. “Should we show her?”

  “Show me what?”

  Devin frowned. “I don’t know if she’s ready,” he said. “It might be too much of a shock.”

  “In case you’ve forgotten, I survived an avalanche,” I said, doing a relatively decent job of sounding like I wasn’t terrified. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

  A look passed between them. I just stood there watching, my heart in my throat. Now that I was here, I was beginning to think that maybe it was better not to know.

  Devin nodded. “Look, whatever happens, just remain calm.”

  I started to say okay, but then I felt the heat.

  It was like the old school bus heater clanging to life, but noiseless and expanding out all around me. Then light burst in front of me like a star exploding, so bright that I had to shield my eyes and turn away.

  Through my closed eyelids, I could sense the glow fade back to the dull gray sky and feel the heat melt into the bitter winter cold. I tugged my jacket tighter around me and opened my eyes.

  The first thing I saw was Asher and Devin, side by side, facing me.

  And then I saw the wings.

  Giant wings rose from their backs in a blaze of feathers. Devin’s were pure white, and light bounced off them so that the feathers resembled waves: peaking and capping, rolling, alive. Asher’s were black, inky, dark, drawing the heat of the day and the light of the sun and my breath into their feathery folds.

  Asher caught my eye. “Well?” he said tentatively. “What do you think?”

  What did I think? That it wasn’t possible. And yet, I was staring at the proof that it was. The wings were mesmerizing, the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.

  I reached my fingers out involuntarily to touch one of Devin’s wings. But before I could get too close, I lost my nerve and drew my hand away quickly.

  Devin laughed. Seeing his face light up like that seemed odd. I’d never heard him laugh before, but the sound filled me with a sudden, inexplicable joy. It was nice to see him happy. It made him seem less reserved, and more beautiful.

  “I told you it was a shock,” he said, his smile lingering.

  “I’m—I’m fine,” I said, gulping.

  The truth? I wasn’t fine, not by a long shot.

  I wanted to sit down, to find something to lean on. I felt dizzy, strange, out of breath. But I needed
to be tensed and ready—just in case I had to run.

  “What are you?”

  Asher laughed. “You asked me to tell you how I knew the story your parents used to tell.”

  “Still a little confused over here,” I managed.

  “I know it because it’s my story, too.”

  “It’s our story,” Devin added.

  “What? But how . . . ?”

  “It’s a creation myth,” Asher explained. “Your creation myth.”

  His words made no sense. “But it’s not a creation myth,” I said. “It doesn’t explain how the world was created.”

  Asher gave me a pointed look. “Not the world, Skye. You.”

  Chapter 17

  The sky twisted and shifted above me.

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

  Devin looked livid as he turned to Asher. “I knew you’d screw this up,” he said, seething. “You had to be all dramatic and get a rise out of her.”

  “Stop it! Stop trying to freak me out! Can’t you see this isn’t funny for me?” I said.

  “It’s—it’s not supposed to be funny,” Asher insisted, taking several steps toward me. “It’s your heritage.” He said the last bit quietly, almost as if I’d offended him.

  My knees buckled beneath me and gave way. I felt dehydrated, dizzy; the roof tilted and pitched as I grabbed desperately at the concrete, trying to get it to stay still.

  “Shh,” Asher murmured, taking the last few steps and kneeling next to me. I felt his hand on my back. “Hey.”

  “Are you saying that the Rebel and the Guardian in the story—they’re my parents?” My voice sounded far away, as if those were someone else’s words, not mine.

  Asher looked up at Devin for support. Devin nodded somberly. His wings folded gracefully behind him, crisscrossing each other before melting seamlessly into his back. My chest tightened and I fought for air. The sky was caving in around me, and I lay back against the freezing concrete and closed my eyes. “I c-can’t breathe,” I said, wheezing. “Asher?”

 

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