He paused, slowing us down mid-turn so that we were barely moving. “I know I’ve been difficult. I’m not—I can’t do things as easily as Asher can. But I only want—” He pulled away from me, and the look in his eyes was intense. “I care about you, Skye. I don’t want you to make a bad decision.”
“One that might lead me to the dark side?” I teased.
But Devin didn’t laugh.
“Just know that you’re important, and I’d do anything for you.”
His gaze never strayed from mine. In his, I read honesty and something much more.
When the music shifted into something with a faster beat, Devin let go of my hands. He walked away then. And like Asher, he didn’t look back.
During the set break, Cassie jumped off the stage and ran to us. Her hair had fallen out of its bun, and her cheeks were red. “Guys!” she crowed. “What did you think?”
“Um, Cassie, you guys are good!” Ian said.
She did a little bow. “You like?”
Dan was suddenly quiet, as if he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. He just kept pushing his floppy hair back and then smoothing it down, and then pushing it out of his face again. So I jumped in. “Yes! Amazing. You know we need to celebrate.”
Cassie smiled brilliantly. “I know. I was hoping you’d say that. With your Aunt Jo away, I was thinking . . .” She glanced at Dan and then back to me.
“Oh, no,” I said. “No way. She’ll kill me.”
“Come onnn, Skye! We haven’t had a party since your birthday, and your house is totally empty! Didn’t you even say yourself that it was too quiet?”
Why was I hesitating? I’d been stressed out and anxious since my birthday, and Aunt Jo was away all the time, which was basically like asking for her kid to have a party. Didn’t she know that’s what would happen if she went away for weeks at a time?
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s do it.”
“Really? Yay!” Cassie squealed. She ran back to the stage and jumped onto the platform, grabbing the mic with a little shriek. “Hey!” She called out, raising one arm to get everyone’s attention. “Party at Skye’s after the show!”
I turned to Dan. “This is either going to be the best idea ever or a very, very bad one.”
Chapter 31
It turned out that my house was the perfect party spot. The big windows let the moonlight in, creating a romantic ambiance, and the lack of partition between any of the rooms kept the party traffic flowing. I made a mental note to invite everyone back in the summer when we could spill out onto the big deck that looked out over the mountains, ignoring the nagging voice that wasn’t sure where—or what—I’d be by the time summer rolled around.
Maggie Meltzer’s older brother brought over a keg, and we stashed it in the kitchen, under the window where Raven’s face had appeared not too long ago. I hated that everywhere I looked now, my old life was peppered with reminders of my new one. No matter how much I tried to push them away.
I stood by the keg, sipping from a red plastic cup and talking to some of the girls from the ski team. Things with Ellie had been a little tense for me since the ski trip, but she didn’t bother me quite so much anymore. Of course, the memory of walking in on her and Asher by the ice machine still made me feel nauseous. But so did the thought of Asher going back to the Rebel camp when this was all over and leaving me forever.
Cassie came bounding up to me, sloshing beer over the side of her cup and pulling me away into a corner of the kitchen.
“Okay,” she said. “So are you okay with everything?”
“Mm-hmm.” I smiled.
“I haven’t said anything all year because, well, we’re all such good friends, and I didn’t want to, you know, upset the balance.”
“Cassie, I promise, you don’t have to worry about that.”
“So you’re okay with it? I mean, I guess if he feels the same way, too?”
“Are you kidding? I’m more than okay with it! And trust me, he feels the same way. You should have seen his face when he realized you were singing to him.”
Cassie beamed, and I knew it was the right thing to say. If Cassie and Dan got together, it would change the dynamic of our group, but I couldn’t help thinking about Asher and how much I wished there was nothing standing in our way. I needed to start getting used to things changing.
I wanted to tell Cassie about my parents—about the truth behind Asher and Devin’s sudden appearance at our school and my own role in all this. The kitchen was loud, but we were standing off in a corner where it was quieter and with the way our heads were tilted together, I knew no one would be able to hear us.
“Cass,” I started, my voice shaking a little in the way that it did when I got nervous. “I have to tell you something.”
She eyed me carefully. “I knew you weren’t telling me everything.”
“It’s . . . um . . . it’s hard to talk about. But I want you to know. You’re my best friend, and I’ve been keeping these things from you, and I just . . . I’m so sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you this entire time.”
“Whoa, Skye. Shh, it’s okay.” She put her hand on my back. “I’m not mad. You can tell me anything, and I promise it will stay between us.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Remember the story that Asher told at the campfire?”
Cassie’s eyes were growing wide and excited. “Yeah? Is this about Asher? Are you guys—”
“No,” I said. “Well, kind of. I mean—there’s more to the story than that. It turns out—” That sensation of being watched had suddenly pricked at the back of my neck, and as casually as I could, I looked behind me.
Devin was standing on the other side of the marble island. He wasn’t looking at us, but from the look on his face, I knew he’d heard every word. I had to think fast. I had to play this off like I’d meant to tell her something completely harmless. Cassie looked a little bewildered, waiting for me to finish the story.
“It turns out,” I continued, “that he never even liked Ellie. We kissed. He liked me the whole time.” It was still the truth, after all. Just a very, very big omission. I hated that Devin had to hear it, but better that than he hear me spill all of his secrets to Cassie.
Cassie’s eyes were huge. “Oh, Skye!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around me. “That’s incredible! You have to fill me in on everything!”
“I will, definitely. But I think you should go look for Dan now. I bet you two have a lot to talk about.” I gave her a pointed look. “Besides, I should go check on the party. I am the hostess, after all.”
“Okay!” She started to back away toward the open living room. “This is so romantic!” She squealed again, clapping her hands together before she took off.
My heart still pounding at the near miss, I turned around and found myself face-to-face with Asher. Devin was nowhere to be seen. It was a little creepy the way he could disappear like that.
“What’s so romantic?” he asked, his head tilted to one side and studying me as though he could read my mind. He looked so good, in a soft, chocolate-colored sweater and jeans. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and feel him breathing beneath my cheek.
“Nothing to do with you, obviously,” I said, turning away again.
“That’s not what it sounded like,” he said, catching up to me and leaning down, his voice low in my ear. “It sounded like the opposite, actually. Were you telling Cassie about me?”
“No!” I sputtered, spinning back around. “And what are you even doing here? I don’t remember inviting you.”
“You didn’t. But if you’ll recall, your friend Cassie invited everyone at the show. And that included me. So don’t be rude. Are you going to offer me a drink or not?”
“Not,” I said. “Why did you come?”
Asher looked taken aback, even a little hurt, but he kept up the light tone.
“I wanted to see you.”
“But—”
“In case you’ve forgotten,” he said und
er his breath, taking me gently but firmly by the elbow and turning to face me, “I have a job to do, remember? And that’s to look out for you.”
“Well, you haven’t been doing so hot the past few days, have you?”
“Hey, will you stop being difficult with me for like five minutes, or is that too hard for you?”
“I’m complicated, remember?” I said. “I’ve got dual natures.”
“Oh my god!” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “You are impossible! Look, I haven’t heard anything from the Rebellion camp in a while. And it makes me nervous that Raven’s still lurking down here. Someone must have sent her. There’s no way she could come on her own. She has to follow orders. She’s a Guardian, that’s what she does.”
My heart beat more rapidly. I hadn’t heard Asher admit to being nervous before.
“So?” I jutted out my chin.
“So something else has to be going on. I just wish I knew what.”
We stood there facing each other for a second or two.
“Hey, you look really nice,” he said suddenly.
“Really?” I said, pleased with my new favorite outfit and forgetting that I should pretend not to care what he thought.
He leaned in as if he meant to kiss me but straightened up at the last second.
“Sorry. Look, I’ll just stay out of your way. But I’m not leaving.” He backed away. “This is me lurking. Okay?”
“Fine,” I said, sighing heavily. “I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”
Eric Walsh, who sometimes deejayed on underage nights at the only club in town, hooked his iPod up to the speakers in the living room, and the keg, miraculously, didn’t run out. At one point, I couldn’t find Cassie or Dan, and Ian was busy talking to Elizabeth Seifert. I was glad for him. He deserved someone who could appreciate him. I grabbed my jacket from a hook by the door and made my way to the sliding door that led onto the deck. But I never made it outside. Asher’s frame was silhouetted by the moon as he leaned against the railing. He didn’t see me through the glass doors behind him. He was looking up at the stars, watching the sky.
Instead of joining him like I had done on my birthday, I took off my coat and headed back to the kitchen for another beer. I wasn’t going to hide from my party this time.
Chapter 32
Red plastic cups rolled across the kitchen floor like tumbleweed. Instead of cleaning, Cassie and I were sitting on the counter in the kitchen, finishing what was left of the food. The last stragglers had just left, and it was something like two in the morning.
“I have to go home,” she declared, jumping off the counter. “Brunch tomorrow? Someplace greasy?”
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked. “Are you done sobering up yet?”
“I haven’t had anything to drink for like two hours. I’ve been busy,” she added with a cryptic smile.
“You’re really going to make me wait until tomorrow morning for this story, aren’t you?” I asked, following her out to her car.
“Mm-hmm!” She hummed as she got in.
“Fine!” I slapped the roof and backed up. “Call me for brunch.”
Cassie turned the key in the ignition, but nothing happened. She tried again, but all we heard was a sick-sounding hum coming from under the hood. “Uh-oh,” she said, getting out again. “Well, eff my life.”
“Hooray!” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Now come inside like a smart person, sleep over, and in the morning, I’ll drive you to the gas station to get a tow truck, okay?”
“Greasy eggs before the tow truck, though?” Cassie asked hopefully.
“Of course,” I said. “It will be just like old times.”
“That’s what we should have done after your birthday,” she said as we walked back toward the house. “Stupid boiler.”
In my room, we pulled pillows and blankets down to the floor, just like we used to.
“Skye?”
“Mmm?”
“Dan and I kissed.”
“I knew it!” I cried.
“I’m really happy,” Cassie said sleepily. “Promise it won’t change anything?”
I didn’t say anything for a while, hoping that Cassie would think it was a rhetorical question. Eventually I heard the soft sound of her snoring, and I let out the breath I’d been holding. I wasn’t upset. In fact, it was completely the opposite. It’s just that I knew that things change really quickly. And you’re not always prepared for them.
We woke at noon to the sunlight streaming through my window. A cold wind blew through my room, seeping into the spaces in our blankets.
“What the hell is that?” Cassie groaned from under a pile of pillows.
“I think my room became the Arctic overnight.” I yanked the blankets tighter over my head.
“Seriously, that has to stop.”
I shoved the blankets down a bit and peeked out. My window was wide open.
“Close it! Close it!” Cassie shrieked. “Oh my god, why did you open it?”
I hadn’t. But I knew who had.
“I must have opened the window in my sleep. I’ve been getting up in the middle of the night and forgetting. It’s bad. Sorry.”
I scrambled out from under the blankets, shut the window, and dove back under again.
“The cold air is making me crave an omelet, though,” Cassie said, hopefully. “With hash browns.”
Clad in soft sweatpants and hoodies, we drove to Big Mouth’s for brunch. In the car, Cassie called her mom.
“Yeah, I slept at Skye’s after the gig. I’m sorry I didn’t call last night. Yeah, it went great! Yeah, we’re going into town for breakfast. Oh, my car died, so I have to get it towed. I don’t know, Mom. Hopefully it won’t be that much. How should I know? I’ve never had my car towed before! Look, fine. Whatever. I’ll call you later. Bye.” She hit the End button violently and huffed. “Jeez, parents are such a waste of space.” Then a look of horror washed over her. “Oh my god, Skye. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that!”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said lightly. “Your parents are definitely annoying.” It did sting a little, though, not to have anyone to call and let know I was okay or that I was driving into town to Big Mouth’s and the gas station. Not for the first time since she’d been away, I hoped Aunt Jo would get back soon.
Brunch was greasy and delicious. Afterward I drove us to the gas station so Cassie could get a tow truck back to my house. When she went over to the attendant behind the counter, I went outside.
“Skye?”
I spun around and came face-to-face with Devin.
“Oh my god, you scared me!”
“I’m sorry,” he said, and in that second he looked like the fun Devin I’d hung out with the other night. The night I slept over at his place. It seemed like forever ago. “What are you doing here?”
I nodded toward the front of the store. “Cassie’s car is at my place. It won’t start. We need a tow truck.”
Up front we heard Cassie yell, “How much?”
I laughed.
“You know,” Devin said, “I’ve always been fascinated with cars, even though I don’t need them to get around. That’s probably why they intrigue me. Anyway, they’re kind of a hobby. I’ve done enough tinkering on them over the years so I have a pretty good grasp of engine repair. I could come over and take a look.”
“Really?” I asked incredulously. “You’d really do that? It would be a huge help. Cassie can’t afford much right now and her parents are pretty strict when it comes to money.”
“It would be my pleasure. Why don’t I go there right now and have a look? You two go off and do something fun for the afternoon. I’ll be done before you know it.”
“Wow, Devin, that is so nice of you. Thank you.” I smiled. He smiled back, the same smile that had been so endearing the other night.
“Don’t mention it, please.”
“Okay, see you later! Cassie!” I called, bounding up to the front c
ounter.
As we turned to leave the store, Devin smiled at us and waved. I thought it was weird that he hadn’t said a single thing about working on my powers that day but decided not to overthink it. Instead, Cassie and I drove to the mall.
It was the best twenty-four hours I’d had in a long time. The gig at the Bean, the party, the sleepover, brunch, and then a full afternoon at the mall. Cassie made me buy this amazing winter white sweaterdress that was clingy in all the right places. She instructed me to wear it with tights and boots like I’d done the night before. I couldn’t wait to see Asher’s face when he saw me in it at school.
Maybe it was thinking about him that caused him to appear while Cassie was in the changing room with no fewer than a dozen outfits. I was wandering nearby, trying to find something else that might interest me when suddenly he was standing in front of me.
“Don’t look so surprised,” he said. “You gave me permission to lurk.”
“At the party. Not when I’m shopping.”
“I don’t think you specified.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked impatiently.
“Lurking.”
“Seriously.”
He lifted a shoulder, sighed. “I thought maybe we could do something together, something that has nothing at all to do with your powers. Maybe go to the Bean. Shoot some pool.”
“You mean, like a date?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Asher, I don’t like these games.”
“It’s not a game, Skye. I know I should avoid you, but all I can think about is being with you. I know the Elders won’t be pleased—”
“But they should expect it, right? You’re a Rebel.”
He flashed a dazzling smile. “They might expect it, but they will definitely not like it. Anyway, I don’t care. Not anymore. I want to be with you. We can go skiing. Or just sit outside. I don’t care. Let’s just go do something.”
It sounded so appealing, but . . .
“I can’t. Not right now. Cassie is with me. At least until Devin is finished working on her car.”
“Devin is working on her car?” he repeated, his smile vanishing.
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