by Ava Moreau
On the floor next to the bed was her bag, full of folders and her laptop, because she’d planned on sneaking some work in. While she didn’t feel at all like working right now, she did think about calling Kaylee.
She got as far as picking up her phone, but then hesitated.
Hey you’ll never guess what I just did!
Yeah…no. She wasn’t sure how Kaylee would take the news that she’d just slept with two men.
Maybe she should phrase it more like a request for advice: Kaylee, I may have done something really dumb. Like, spectacularly dumb.
Except it didn’t feel dumb, did it? It wasn’t a mistake. If she’d had any illusions about it going anywhere, then it would’ve been a mistake. Kaylee then would’ve lectured her about her five-year plan, and how dating two guys at once—like that was even possible!—was a bad idea and would derail everything.
She rolled over and wrapped herself in the duvet atop the bed.
Who are you, Becca? Her own thoughts, but she heard them spoken in Kaylee’s voice. When did you become the kind of girl to do something like this?
Oh god, Kaylee, if only you’d been there, you would’ve understood. Anyone would’ve taken that chance. Wouldn’t they?
Probably not. Most people didn’t find themselves having a threesome out in public.
She soothed her thoughts with the knowledge that it wouldn’t happen again. Couldn’t happen again.
Her skin against the duvet cover felt weird…maybe too much dried lake water. She needed a shower. So she pulled herself out of bed and went into the bathroom. Fortunately there was still soap, shampoo and conditioner…although the lack of towels was a little bothersome.
She turned the hot water all the way on, and stepped into the spray.
The problem she was having was with the idea that it couldn’t happen again. It seemed so obvious: This isn’t the sort of thing you do. Doing it again has too many risks.
Yet she felt cheated by that thought…because she’d only fucked one of the guys. Jack had absolutely worn her out, he’d given her the best fuck she’d ever had in her life. But what about Trent? Was it fair that he hadn’t had his chance to sleep with her?
Okay, fair point, but the other thing to consider was this: What the hell had happened between Jack and Trent?
That had been totally unexpected. It was one thing to have two guys going for you—that was a rare, magical moment.
But when she’d seen Jack sucking on Trent…that took it to a whole new level. A level she had never, ever considered before.
She was supposed to be showering to get the lake water off her skin and out of her hair…so why had her fingers traveled between her legs?
You know why. Jack sucking Trent’s cock was the hottest thing you have ever seen.
It didn’t even make sense to her. While she had what she thought was an active, healthy sexual fantasy life, the idea of two guys together had never really entered into it. It was a new thing to her, and totally unexpected how much it had thrilled her.
How far would they go together? That was an interesting question worth thinking about. Especially interesting while her fingertips found her clit, and circled it slowly, lazily, as she leaned against the tiles of the shower stall.
She wasn’t sure how it worked with guys. Did they secretly give each other blowjobs all the time, and just never reveal this to their girlfriends and wives? When guys went off on alleged hunting trips out in the mountains, was it really an excuse for three days of outdoor man-fucking?
How have I never thought about this before, she wondered, her eyes closed to slits as her fingers sped their circling. She whimpered and reached up one hand to squeeze a nipple, thinking about these things, picturing Trent and Jack in a writhing mass, hands and mouths and cocks.
It can’t happen again, but I can still think about it.
She brought herself to a knee-trembling climax with that vision in her head. A quieter one than earlier, but a necessary one.
It seemed to clear her head. It put the boys into the realm of fantasy, which somehow made things easier to deal with.
She thought about that difference, as she walked downstairs, still dripping wet but at least clean this time, carrying an armload of damp laundry.
Knowing she would cherish the memory forever, and knowing it would provide her fantasy life fodder for ages to come, helped her gain the courage to say, Time to get back on track. Time to get back to the plan.
To the empty laundry room she said, “I’m going to go upstairs and figure out what to save and what to throw out. Honestly, I’m going to try to need the guys’ help as little as possible. Maybe I’ll call them on my way out of town, just to tell them things are ready to be hauled off.”
Yes. That was the way to do it. It would remove all the awkwardness of seeing them again. It would keep her safe from having to look at their faces, from having to feel that temptation again.
And they’d never have to talk about it. That was the important part. As long as they didn’t talk about it, she could get back to normal life, could insist that this afternoon had been just a strange moment in her life that would never return, so that she could get back to the comfort of her normal life.
The comfort of working insane hours, trying to impress men who looked down on her.
It didn’t sound like much when she put it like that, but it was part of the plan. The hard part. The part she had to get through, for all the rewards: Having an established business, being her own boss, being in control of life.
Thus promising herself that nothing else would ever happen between her and the guys, and that she wouldn’t even speak to them until she was on her way out of town, she wandered back upstairs to begin sorting out the boxes.
11
If things had been tense between Jack and Trent before, now it had reached the point that Trent was crawling out of his skin. They hadn’t said a word to each other since dropping Becca off at home. Hadn’t even made eye contact.
Jack pulled up to Trent’s place and put the truck into park, but left the engine running. Normally there would have been a see you later or talk of plans to get back together at the gym or Snuffy’s or somewhere, but now there was absolute silence between them.
Yet Jack didn’t seem to want Trent to get out of the truck. Trent wasn’t sure how he knew that. But he knew Jack well enough to know the expression on his face wasn’t anger; they weren’t fighting. His friend looked confused.
I probably look the same way.
After a few minutes of sitting there, though, Jack finally broke the silence. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“No. No way, man. I know. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not…you know how it is. That thing was just…”
If anything, it was a relief to find out Jack’s thoughts were just as incoherent as his own.
“It was just a thing that happened,” said Trent. Keep it vague. Keep it all cloudy, so you can talk about it as briefly as possible, and put it in the past.
“Yeah, dude,” said Jack, “I don’t know what came over me.”
“I did,” said Trent, and the joke was so unexpected, and came at such a stressful moment, that they both burst out laughing, thankful to have one second where things weren’t so dead-serious.
“I mean, do we need to talk about this?” asked Jack. “Or are we okay?”
“You and me? We’re fine.”
“I just don’t want you to think that I’m going to do that again.”
That made Trent laugh again. “Wait, is that what you’re worried about? That I’m going to be coming after you for more blowjobs?”
“Shh!” hissed Jack, looking around like someone might be eavesdropping right outside the truck. “Keep your fucking voice down!”
“Dude, I don’t sit around fantasizing about guys, if that’s what you’re worried about. I think you’d know that about me by now.”
Jack shook his head. “No, that’s fine. I mean, if
you were gay or something, you’d tell me, right? If you were, I wouldn’t hold it against you. I’m not…I mean, I don’t discriminate or anything, it’s just not my personal…uh…leaning.”
And yet you sucked on me so eagerly that I couldn’t hold back, and for one split-second all I wanted to do was fuck your face until I came in your mouth.
Holy shit, Trent told himself, that is not a helpful line of thought right now.
Yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to escape the memory of what Jack had done to him.
To him?
For him?
What was the right way to think about this?
The right way is to not think about it at all, because you’re sitting here wondering if it’s ever going to happen again, and you’re kind of hoping it does. Like, maybe this time it’ll be you fucking Becca, while Jack dangles that monster-cock in your face.
But that wasn’t right. That’s not the way he was. Trent wasn’t gay, he wasn’t bisexual…right?
“Listen,” he said. “I think we need to make a pact. We need to promise each other that will never happen again.”
Jack nodded with an eagerness that almost made Trent sad. “You’re right,” Jack said. “We have to swear to each other. We won’t get in that situation, we won’t even get close to it.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” agreed Trent. “No more threesomes with Becca.”
Jack sighed with relief, lying back against the head-rest of the driver’s seat. “Thank god, man. I didn’t know if we were going to see eye-to-eye on that.”
“Come on, you’re my best friend, you know it’s going to be okay.”
“Yeah, I just had to hear it from you. You’re a bigger man than me, dude. Well, not in terms of muscles. Or your cock, apparently. But bigger in heart.”
“Um…thanks?” Trent laughed.
“And you clearing the field for me and Becca is going to take a big weight off my shoulders. I really appreciate you stepping down and—”
“Wait, what?”
Jack nodded agreeably. “Becca and I really shared a moment out there. I know she’s a city girl and all, but I felt a real connection.”
“That wasn’t a connection, that was sex,” said Trent.
What the hell was this? Jealousy was like acid in his throat. At what point had he said anything about backing away from Becca?
It wasn’t until that moment that he realized, somewhere deep in the back of his head, he’d planned on asking Becca out.
She’d clearly wanted me, too, right? I wasn’t misreading that? All those looks she gave me? That had to mean something, right?
But now he felt really confused.
“Nah, it was more than sex,” said Jack. “It was fucking spiritual, man. Look, just to keep things from being awkward, I’ll be the one to go over there later to help her finish packing. You can stay home or whatever. That way, there won’t be any weirdness between all of us.”
“Dude, that’s not fair. I have just as much a right to ask her out as you do.”
Jack scowled. “Not fair? You just mean that since I got to fuck her, you should get a turn too. She’s not the last slice of pizza, Trent, she’s a human being.”
“I know that. Jesus, Jack, I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying…you can’t ask me to just step back and not talk to her.”
“I thought that’s what we just agreed on?”
“No, we just agreed not to sleep with each other.”
Jack peered around again, before leaning towards Trent and whispering, “You’ve got to quit talking about it like that. It was a fucking accident, okay?”
Trent crossed his arms and stared out the window. “Whatever, man. I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. I can’t believe you.”
“You can’t believe me? You can’t believe that after my big stupid celibacy, I might want to go after a girl who is clearly interested in me…and one who is hot as hell, I might add? How does that come as any fucking surprise to you?”
“I should just take the fucking job and get the hell out of town,” Trent muttered…then wished he hadn’t.
“What was that?” asked Jack.
“Nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing. If you’re sitting there fucking badmouthing me in my own fucking truck—”
“Christ’s sake, Jack, I’m not badmouthing you.”
In fact there was nothing bad about the mouthing you gave me earlier--
Stop that, brain.
Trent rubbed his face. “I didn’t want to tell you like this. I really didn’t. But maybe it’s smart to just spill it.”
Now Jack looked concerned. “What?”
“I got offered a job.”
“I don’t understand, man, that’s good news. Why wouldn’t you want to tell me—”
“It’s in Corinth, Jack.”
Jack didn’t say anything in response. The silence between them lingered so long, that finally Trent had to turn to look at him.
“Oh…fuck,” said Jack. “When were you gonna tell me?”
“Soon, I swear. I haven’t accepted it yet.”
“Are you sure you weren’t gonna keep it a secret from me?”
The hurt in Jack’s voice was so strange to hear, after the anger of only a moment ago.
Trent shook his head. “I’ve been arguing with myself since I got the call. Trying to figure out when to tell you. Trying to figure out whether to even take the job or not.”
“Dude, you’ve got to take the job.”
“And leave Myers Lake? Leave my best friend in the world here?”
“I mean, it fucking sucks,” said Jack, “but we both knew this would happen eventually, didn’t we?”
“That’s the thing,” said Trent. “I was starting to think it wouldn’t. So many of the companies turned me down. They wanted years of experience, or an advanced degree. But now I’ve got a chance to make something of myself…except Myers Lake is the only place I’ve ever lived. It’s home. Corinth isn’t home. I don’t know what I would do up there.”
“That’s where Becca lives,” said Jack, “I’m sure she could show you around…”
His voice trailed off, as they both realized how this confession fit into their earlier argument over Becca.
I’d be leaving my best friend behind…but Becca would be there.
Before he could fully work out the problem with that in his head, Jack did it for him.
“Great,” he said. “So not only do I lose my best friend, but I lose a shot at a girlfriend too. You’re going to go after her up there, aren’t you. And I’m going to be here alone.”
Now the hurt and anger were commingled in Jack’s voice.
Trent didn’t know what to do. If he said he wouldn’t take the job, then he was cutting himself off from his future, just to make Jack happy. And how could Jack even ask that?
Damn, Becca had made things complicated.
“Maybe I ought to go in,” he said.
“Maybe you ought to,” Jack said.
His best friend didn’t say another word to him. Just pulled the truck away from Trent’s place, and drove off, leaving Trent confused and alone.
12
Nobody had ever accused Jack of being a deep thinker. Some men think with their stomachs. Some men think with their cocks. For Jack, he had always been guided by whatever appetite had caught him at that moment. Choices were easy, when you let your hunger be your guide.
The problem was, right now he felt like he was starving…he just didn’t know what for.
He didn’t want to think too hard about his fight with Trent. They’d had fights before, of course. Little things, stupid things, the sort of stuff you don’t even apologize for afterward, you just buy the next round of beers and get on with your friendship.
But they’d never fought over a woman before.
And they’d certainly never fought over Trent leaving town before.
It was all too fucking new for Jack, too fucking soon, too complica
ted.
And all of that was before he took into account what had happened on the dock. The moment when he’d wrapped his lips around Trent’s cock, and sucked him off.
“What the fuck was I thinking?” he said in the empty truck, smacking his hand against the steering wheel. He found himself driving to Snuffy’s, and within moments had seated himself at the bar.
“Back again?” asked the bartender.
“Give me a shot of whiskey.”
“This early in the day?”
“Damn, are you going to argue with me too?”
The bartender clucked his tongue, but poured the drink, then moved further down the bar, away from Jack.
I’m gonna alienate everybody today, apparently.
His urge was to throw back the shot and order another, but instead he just sipped it. He wanted to feel the burn on his tongue.
The same tongue you used on Trent’s—
Okay. Rule one was going to have to be the dock never happened. It just couldn’t be part of his memory. Otherwise he was going to drive himself nuts thinking about it, convincing himself there was nothing unusual about it, that it was perfectly natural.
Except the Becca part of it. That was rule two. He could think about Becca as much as he wanted to.
“Fuck,” he whispered to himself. How had he gotten himself into this mess? Becca was the first girl he’d met in years that he felt this spark with. That he really wanted to go after. But for what? She was headed back to Corinth soon…and now, it turned out, Trent was headed there too.
How did I lose them both in the same day?
Another swallow of liquor scorched its way down his throat.
Jack wasn’t a big thinker, but that also meant he wasn’t going to sit around questioning himself all day. That was the kind of shit that drove people crazy, that made them all skittish and nervous like scared cats. People thought too much. That was the main problem with life.
It had to be simpler than that. Everything came down to one question: What do you want?