by Ava Moreau
“Hell, I don’t care,” said Jack. “I want the world to know I’ve got a cute girl on my arm. Or, y’know, in my booth, as the case may be.”
“I think she’s talking about the other part too,” said Trent. He whispered, “You know, with all the fellatio.”
“Is that the Italian ice-cream?”
Trent punched him in the arm. “That’s gelato.”
“I love me some gelato.”
When the waitress finally came by, the jokes ended entirely, but they kept shooting each other knowing looks as they ordered: Waffles (not deep-fried) and coffee for Becca, egg-white omelet and whole-wheat toast for Trent, and bacon and steak for Jack.
“Bacon and steak?” asked Becca.
“Don’t ask him about it,” said Trent, “or he will give you his speech about the evils of carbs.”
Jack nodded. “Don’t think I’m not going to lecture you about that fucking toast, man.”
“As long as you do it after breakfast.”
“Nobody better judge me for my damn waffles,” said Becca. “I’ll attack you with the syrup bottle.”
“We’ll just make sure you get plenty of exercise to work them off,” said Jack, with a straight face.
“I can’t even tell if you’re serious, or if you’re making a sex joke,” said Becca.
“Why can’t it be both?”
The waitress kept coming by with napkins and silverware and more coffee, so they felt like they had to cool it with the sex references.
Becca’s phone buzzed. She left it in her bag.
“You going to get that?” asked Jack.
She shook her head. “Why? It’s either Sarah, in which case I’ll catch up with her later, or work, in which case… I don’t want to think about it right now.”
“It could be a friend,” said Trent.
The cream had been delivered in little plastic tubs, all stacked inside a coffee cup. She reached inside to pull one out. She took her coffee black, but suddenly felt like she needed to do something with her hands. Her fingers felt the ridges of the little tub.
“I don’t really have friends,” she said.
“You…what?” said Jack.
“I’m just really busy, you know.”
“What the hell kind of life are you leading up there in Corinth?” said Jack. “No boyfriend, no actual friend, nothing but work?”
“I mean, there’s Kaylee, and we hang out…but we mostly work while we hang out.”
“Aren’t you lonely?” asked Trent, his voice full of sympathy.
When she looked up at them, her eyes glittered. “Not anymore.”
They reached across the table and took her hands, one hand for each boy, and she felt encircled by their love. A love she didn’t understand yet, and one she wasn’t sure what to do about…but she felt it, and it was real.
“I really don’t want this to end,” she said.
“Hey, I thought we promised, no sad talk,” said Trent. “You’re going to make Jack cry if you do that.”
“Fuck off,” Jack said gently to his friend. “But seriously, Becca, don’t worry about the future right now. Let’s just enjoy what we’ve got at this moment. I mean…you could just stay here for a little while, right? You own your business. Nobody else is the boss of you. Why don’t you just stay one more day? We’ll figure things out tomorrow.”
“You could stay the whole week,” said Trent. “A little vacation by the lake. Jack could get time off from his family’s business, and I’m just kind of at loose ends until I have that job, so. We’ll spend the week together.”
“Damn, Trent, that’s a good idea,” said Jack. He turned back to Becca. “What do you say?”
“Okay!” she said brightly. “Let’s do it! Anything to put off thinking about things! There’s just one thing. I do have to let Kaylee know. That was probably her just now calling. Give me five minutes, let me talk to her.”
She took her phone to the ladies’ room. Sure enough, there was a voicemail from Kaylee. She didn’t bother listening to it, just dialed her friend directly.
“Becca!” came the happy voice from the other side. “Girl, I miss you so much, how is Smallville?”
“I’ve only been gone a day and a half,” she laughed.
“Yeah, but Corinth feels smaller without you in it. Probably not as small as Tinytown down there.”
“Actually, that’s what I’m calling you about.”
“I am really glad you got back to me so quickly,” said Kaylee. Her voice sounded rushed, and Becca wondered how many espressos she’d had this morning. “I have so many ideas about how to hit our next client, who it ought to be, and how we can make things different. I think the big problem with Jordan & Huntley was—”
“Hey, first, before we talk about that,” interrupted Becca, “I wanted to let you know, I’m going to be staying here in Myers Lake for a little while.”
“You…what?”
“Not a long time. But maybe a week?”
A silence on the line. She couldn’t even hear Kaylee breathe.
Then: “A week?”
“Something’s come up,” Becca said.
“Oh, some family stuff?”
Her lips parted, but she realized she couldn’t say the words. Didn’t know how to say what was going on. “Something like that.”
“I really need you up here, though!” said Kaylee.
“No, I get that—”
“Do you get it, Becca? This is serious! Our big presentation fell through. We’ve got to find another client fast, if we’re going to have any business at all! Look, I know things are tense down there with your family—”
“It’s not my family. I met someone.” Someones. Plural.
“Oh lord. You didn’t let one of those hometown boys sweet-talk you. Please tell me you’re not already married and chained to the stove.”
Becca shook her head, as though Kaylee could see her. “Nothing like that. But…it’s important to me, and I’d like to stay a little longer, to see how it goes.”
“Okay, but work is important too. I mean, I’d say it’s even more important than winsome farmboys. Because we’re trying to start a business here, Becca. What about the five-year plan? Remember the plan?”
“Of course! I made the plan! I know all about the plan!” She was getting frustrated with her friend now, and that worried her. She’d never had a fight with Kaylee before, not a real one. She didn’t want to start now…but neither did she want to be ordered to come back to Corinth, not just yet.
“Rule one: No boyfriend,” said Kaylee.
“Who could have foreseen that telling you about the five-year plan would blow up in my face?”
“Look, why don’t you just bring him up here? He can stand around slack-jawed looking at all the tall buildings, while you and I hash out the next presentation.”
I wish I could. Maybe I can. I don’t know…Jack wants to stay here, I know that. Trent wants to leave. But if I can’t have both of them, my heart would break. I don’t think there’s anything in the city for Jack. He needs to be down here, where he can hike and work out and fish and do all that country-boy stuff he loves, driving his truck around.
“Just a few days, Kaylee. That’s all I need.”
“Becca, please don’t do this. I don’t want to be a bitch to you. You’re my best friend. But you’re not down there to get laid, and you’re certainly not down there for vacation. Don’t you remember how much you hate it down there? I need you here. There’s so much work to be done, and I don’t know if we can recover from not getting the Jordan & Huntley account.”
“I know. I know. But Kaylee, this is so important to me. I can’t even explain it over the phone. Can’t you just trust me? I’m not trying to sabotage the business. But I’ve got to have time to figure this out.”
“What’s to figure out? Who is it? Some guy you’ve known for 36 hours? Jesus, Becca, that’s not a boyfriend, that’s a hook-up. Pat him on the head and tell him goodbye. You don
’t have feelings for him.”
“I think I do.” I know I do.
“You can’t. What’s wrong with you? You just got there, and already you’re involved with someone? That’s like, pathological or something. It’s PTSD from having to go back to your stupid little town. You need to get back here so you can clear your head and get back to real life.”
Why was Kaylee being like this? Why couldn’t she understand what Becca was going through…what she was discovering about herself? She’d known Trent and Jack forever. This wasn’t some random hook-up. She had real, deep feelings for them.
Didn’t she?
Of course she did. No matter what Kaylee’s voice in her head might say.
“Look, I don’t want to fight,” Becca said finally. “I won’t stay the whole week, just a few days. And when I get back, I’m going to work twice as hard. You’ll see.”
Kaylee sighed. “All right. I don’t want to fight either. I hate fighting. But if you call me in a couple of days saying you’re moving to Myers Lake permanently, I’m flying down and kicking your ass, okay?”
“Deal.”
That should have been that. She got her way after all. Then why did she feel so guilty? She went over to the sink, and splashed cold water onto her face. She looked at herself in the mirror. What the fuck am I doing? I’m letting my best friend down. I’m risking the future of my business. For a couple of boys.
But she loved them. And they clearly loved her back.
Kaylee had tried to end the conversation with a joke, but her voice had been flat and cold. She didn’t understand what Becca was doing down here, and even if Becca had explained it (”Two boys are so much better than one, you’d never believe it”), it would’ve just seemed like a distraction from real life. The real life of work and presentations and accounts and trying your damnedest to make a mark on the world.
That’s why she felt so defeated. She believed so deeply in making her mark. It was her north star, and everything else in her life was measured by its relation to that. Talking to Kaylee just reminded her that she couldn’t figure out yet where the boys fit into that. It made her feel unmoored to be so clearly reminded, at a time when she felt so close to the guys, of what her real priorities were supposed to be.
She wandered out of the bathroom and towards their booth. Her waffles had been delivered, but their golden crispness held no interest for her. “You know what, I think I’m just going to head back to the house.”
Trent and Jack gave her worried looks. “Bad call?” asked Trent.
“I don’t want to talk about it right this second. We’ll catch up later, okay? Sorry, I’m not trying to be mysterious or dramatic or anything. I just need a little time.”
She walked out into the morning air, alone.
19
You can’t,” said Trent, holding Jack’s arm.
“Dude, she’s upset. I need to go help her.”
But his best friend shook his head. “Nope. That’s not how Becca works, and you know it. If you go chasing her down right now, she’ll think you don’t respect her space, her independence.”
What Trent said was true, but it hurt Jack to watch Becca walk out of the diner. That had always been one thing with Jack, he couldn’t bear to see anyone hurting. He was a protector at heart. When he saw that look on her face, saw her need to get away, he was torn between the need to gather her in his arms, and the need to hunt down whoever had hurt her, and tear the guy limb from limb.
Instead he slid back into the booth. “Damn,” he said. “What happened? You’re smart, you tell me what happened to her.”
Trent shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s Sunday. How can there be bad news about work on a Sunday?”
“This is why she needs us, man. Do you see how her life is? Everyone around her is capable of hurting her, even if they don’t mean to. Think about her sister. We’ve known Sarah all our lives. She’s practically a cousin to us at this point. Never caused us a minute’s trouble. But put them in the same room for thirty seconds, and without even meaning to, Sarah says something that hurts Becca.”
“Believe me, I’ve noticed,” said Trent. “But that’s life in a small town for you. I mean, it’s like everyone senses if you don’t belong here, if you have dreams of getting somewhere else, moving up in the world. They sense it, and even if they love you, they turn against you. I feel it all the time.”
“Pfft, dude, I never turned against you.”
“Not you. But other friends. Other people in town. They make you feel like an outsider, if you ever express that you want to leave.”
Which explained something that had occurred to Jack, something he hadn’t wanted to think about too much, that there was a common thread between Becca and Trent, some deeper understanding between them about this business of leaving town. And now he could see how that worked. You thought about leaving town, and the people around you gave you hell for it…which made you want to leave even worse. Which in turn made everybody around you uncomfortable, so they shut you out.
Jack shook his head. It would be so much easier if everybody just stayed where they were born. Becca could’ve stayed here her whole life. They could’ve spent years getting to know one another. They could have had their own place by now, the three of them. Maybe a house next to the lake.
Yeah, right. You couldn’t keep Becca here. Her dreams were too big, her ambitions too urgent…which was part of what Jack loved about her.
But that led to another uncomfortable topic. “What about you?” he asked Trent. “You’ll be leaving soon too, I guess.”
Trent looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you going to walk out too?”
“No, of course not. I’m just… Damn, I don’t want to admit this, but Jack, I think I should take the job.”
“Of course you should. That’s what I’ve been saying.”
Trent gave him an agonized look. “Quit being fucking noble, Jack. You know what it means if I get the job.”
“You finally get to be rich and famous and wear a tie, like you’ve always wanted.”
“It means I leave you here all alone.”
Of course it does. I know that, Trent. Every second that I’m not thinking about Becca, I’m thinking about you leaving for Corinth. But if I sit here thinking how lonely I’m going to be without the two of you, it’ll eat me up inside. Don’t ask me to show you how I’m feeling about it.
“I’ll live,” said Jack brightly.
“How do you think Becca will feel, without you up there with her?”
“Dude, she’ll have you. I don’t think she’ll miss big dumb ol’ me.”
Trent shook his head. “You’re not serious, are you? You’ve got to understand that there’s no me and Becca without you.”
“That’s sweet, but—”
“No, I’m serious.” Trent looked around to make sure nobody else in the diner could hear him. “Jack. I don’t know how to put a name on all this. I’ve never felt this way about two people before. You feel it too, I know it. It’s all three of us…or it’s nothing.”
Jack looked down at his hands. “Of course I feel it. I want to be around you two all the time. But what do you expect me to do? I’m not like you, I don’t have a shiny pretty resumé.”
“Corinth is a big place, though, maybe you could—”
“Trent. I’ve already thought about this. A lot. There’s not a job up there for me. What could I do, flip burgers? Lay concrete? I’ve got no skills other than working in my family’s place. I’m not a brain like you.”
All the years they had been friends, this had been the difference between them. Trent had been the brain, Jack had been the brawn. Except it didn’t really work out like that, because Trent had somehow managed to work on both his body and his mind, so that he was both strong and smart.
If only there was a gym for your brain, so I could work it out, thought Jack. Then, glumly: Maybe I should’ve gone to the library more or somethi
ng.
“Don’t do that,” said Trent.
“Do what?”
“The dumb thing where you put yourself down, where you act like you’re some country bumpkin.”
“If the straw hat fits…”
Trent shook his head. “Admit it. You want to go to Corinth too. And that scares you more than anything. It’s not about the job. It’s about changing your whole life.”
“Dude, of course it scares me, what do you think I’m sitting here telling you?”
“Then stop using the stupid excuse that you’re too dumb to get a job. That’s ridiculous. You’ve been working downtown for years. You know how a small business works. You’re good at book-keeping, you know all about inventory, and most of all, customers fucking love you. You think there aren’t businesses up in Corinth looking for a guy like you?”
“But I—”
“Dude, stop arguing. I don’t want to leave you. Forget about everything else for a second. I don’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to before, but now, with this thing with Becca? It would kill me, leaving you down here while I went up to Corinth.”
“Aw, that’s sweet, are you saying you like me?”
“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”
The smile faded from Jack’s face. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
“There’s really only one choice here,” Trent said. “Either we all go up there together, or we go back to the way things were before.”
“What? No, that’s going too far,” said Jack. “You can’t give up the damn job, just because I can’t figure out how I could make a living up there.”
“That’s what it comes down to. I’m not leaving you down here alone. You’re my best friend. What the hell am I supposed to do all alone in Corinth?”
Jack realized he had to agree with Trent. “All right,” he said, “go for it.”
But he only said it to get Trent off his back. Surely Trent understood that Jack had to stay here. There wasn’t a choice for Jack. He hadn’t dreamed of the city the way they had. His whole life was here, and he valued that life, the pace of small-town living, the way you could know absolutely everybody.