Javed’s eyes narrowed. “I’m what?”
“Forget it.” West mumbled under his breath. Also said something about how he should become a vacation type of guy.
They acted as if they had all the time in the world. Forget that they kept tripping over men with guns or that West left the bed this morning to circle the house and play guard. He snuck out. Even kissed her on the forehead, which was just about the sweetest thing ever.
She’d been warm and happy and thinking about dragging him back down on the floor when he started checking his weapons. With each look, each click of this or that, the lethal warrior persona snapped into place. Before her eyes he morphed from sexy bed partner to armed and deadly.
The change should have terrified her, but it didn’t. For a woman who always struggled with confidence, who had to drop out of medical school after a breakdown, seeing West so sure and clear appealed to her. He was everything she wasn’t, and right now that’s what she needed.
“You should have flown out of here when you had the chance,” he said. “That’s my point. A version of the point I’ve been making since we met.”
Amazing how she could be thinking positive thoughts about him, get all warm and fuzzy, and then he opened his mouth. Part of what made him strong and so devastating to her also made him demanding and a tad assy sometimes. She didn’t love that.
Javed turned to West. “I can take her in with me. Say I found her, that she got away.”
Her friend made her sound like a lost puppy. Not exactly how she liked to think of herself.
“Not with a dead general and no viable suspect,” West said. “If your superiors get her, they will interrogate her.” His mouth fell into a flat line. “No.”
And they were off to planning again. The men seemed to think they could handle her life without talking to her.
She tried to let them know what she thought of that. Loaded her voice with sarcasm. “For the record, I’m not a fan of the potential torture part. You know, in case I get a say in my life. Which, clearly, you two think I don’t.”
“You have the wrong government,” Javed said. “If you want torture you should go back to the U.S.”
“We are not going to have a battle tactics discussion or argue about which country scores better on the humanity scale.” West plunked his glass down on the table as he sat back in his chair. “And she stays with me.”
Javed started shaking his head before West finished the sentence. “She can’t go to the encampment.”
She’d had enough. She could stitch up a wound and treat frostbite. She could not tolerate two men bickering about her. She’d found her limit and hit it.
Now to let them know.
She snapped her fingers until they both looked at her. “You two see me, right?”
Javed nodded. “Yes.”
“She’s not really asking.” West looked ready to laugh. “She’d scolding. She does that.”
This time she put the brakes on before they launched into a new round of pretend-Lexi-isn’t-in-the-room. “We’re talking about my life, my safety. I decide where I go.”
Javed shook his head. “That’s not the case.”
“While it would be interesting to hear Javed argue with you about women’s rights, I happen to agree.” West spun his glass around, letting it clank against the table as he looked at her “You’re coming with me until my communication is restored and I can pass you off to my team.”
That comment had Javed sitting up straighter in his chair. “Team? There are others?”
“No.” West kept spinning that glass.
“You just said—”
“Stop.” She broke in to keep Javed from launching into an informal interrogation. Not that West would answer a single question. She also used the time to prove a point . . . and grab the glass before her head exploded. “I will not be passed off.”
He moved the glass out of snatching range. “I thought I was clear.”
She had no idea when that would have been. “Apparently not.”
“You’re. With. Me.” West’s voice grew louder with each word.
Admittedly the delivery needed work, but she didn’t hate that idea. Hell, she’d lobbied for it, so she didn’t argue. For now.
Javed’s gaze switched to Lexi then back to West. “I can get you part of the way there but then you’re on your own. We’ll leave as soon as the sun starts to set.”
West nodded. “Fine.”
“I’ll get the truck and the gear you’ll need and be back.” Javed got up and halfway to the front door.
“Alone.” West turned in his chair and faced the other man. “I mean it, Javed. No one knows about this or me or what’s really happening with Lexi. Not even Raheel.”
“You are not my superior.” Javed’s voice stayed firm but he didn’t show any outward signs that the comments annoyed him.
Still, Lexi sensed a battle brewing. She was about to step in when West piped up again.
“I will kill you. Do you understand me?” West’s voice stayed deadly low. “I don’t care about your uniform or what country we’re in. You have two seconds to convince me you’re going to obey.”
She winced. Clearly West skipped the day his group taught diplomacy and tact.
Javed’s jaw tightened. “I am not—”
“Look, this isn’t a pissing contest.” West matched Javed’s attack stance with one of his own. “It’s about keeping Lexi alive, and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that happens.”
Javed glanced over West’s head and directly at her as tension buzzed around them. “Then I’ll agree.”
“Good.” West didn’t bother to hide his satisfaction on getting his way. “Then I don’t have to shoot you.”
After a few more hours of prep West stared out the front door and waited. Javed had dropped off food and additional weapons with ammunition. He was about to head out again to get the truck but stood out on the grass and dirt talking to Lexi.
West still didn’t trust Javed, but he trusted the way he looked at Lexi. She meant something to him. Maybe nothing sexual, but the concern was right there on his face and in the way he pleaded for her to remain behind. West heard every word, as well as Lexi’s stubborn refusal to concede.
He had to admit that Javed’s solution did tempt him. If he thought he could stash her in a building or even under one and keep her safe for the next few hours, he would have. But Javed’s latest verbal update spoke of a house-to-house search, which meant the safest place for her now was by his side. He could protect her and, if it came down to it, put on whatever show he needed to make it clear she was a victim and not an accomplice.
His assignment from Alliance focused on the weapons and recon, but the secondary job was about getting the doctor out of country. As far as West was concerned, that duty extended to Lexi since she made the call to report the weapons sighting.
He danced around the meaning behind the orders to make it work, but that didn’t bother him. He’d never been a follow-the-rules guy anyway. And there was no way he would leave Pakistan or this Earth without knowing he did everything possible to protect her.
That was the job . . . and in this case something else pushed him. Something he couldn’t define. Attraction maybe, but he doubted it. He’d rescued pretty women before. But this woman, with her sharp responses and hot kissable mouth, got to him. Those eyes that turned sad when she thought he wasn’t looking. The fierce determination even though she had to be terrified. The trust she placed in him, even as she fought it. The mix of tough and vulnerable packaged in that sexy shell had him thinking things he should not be thinking while stuck in the middle of Pakistan with hostiles on his tail.
After a brief touch of Javed’s arm, Lexi started back to the house. She glanced up, looked at West, and her footing faltered, but then she moved forward again.
He met her at the door and opened it for her. He promised himself not to pry, because there was no way he could justify the questions being any
of his damn business, but then she passed within inches of him. “You sure there was never anything between you two?”
She stopped and looked up. “You mean like there was with us last night?”
As if he needed a reminder. Hell, just looking at her made the blood pound in his veins. “Yeah, anything like that.”
“No, you’re the only one I’ve . . . done that with while in Pakistan.”
The way she stumbled over the words had him biting back a smile. He could describe every inch of her skin. Give a complete play-by-play on how her thighs tightened against his shoulders as he lay between them. Could but wouldn’t because her cheeks had already turned a rosy red.
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t nudge her a bit. “Done ‘that’?”
“What?”
“You can say the actual words.” He leaned down until his mouth hovered over hers. “I’m a big boy.”
“What are you talking about?”
Man, he’d been hoping she’d give him an opening like that. “I touched you. Went down on you. Licked you. Kissed you. Tasted every inch or you then went back for more.” He hesitated for a few beats. “You blew me. Your mouth on my—”
Her head snapped back. “Aren’t you chatty all of a sudden?”
He turned and with a hand on her back brought her farther inside and closed the door behind them. With every step forward he took, she retreated. The doorway got in her way and she jammed up against the frame.
He put a hand on the wall next to her head and leaned in. “Do the words embarrass you?”
“I’m not a child.” The only honest reaction came in the way she twisted her hands together.
His gaze bounced down to her fingers then back up again. “Then what’s the problem?”
She pushed at his chest then. Shoved until he moved, and ducked her way out of his confining stance. “You’re trying to make me feel ashamed or naïve or something. I don’t like it.”
“Whoa.” He caught her elbow at the last second, stopping her dramatic exit, and spun her around to face him. “Listen—”
“And I hate when you order me around.” But she didn’t try to shake off his hold or swear or hit him.
He decided that was a good sign and tried to explain. Not something he usually did. He’d act out of instinct and training, and would deal with the fallout later. This emotional bullshit wasn’t for him, which was evident by the way he sucked at it. “I was trying to take your mind off tonight.”
“What?” Her expression suggested he’d grown two extra heads.
Maybe downplaying only made things worse. Hell, he didn’t know. This was not his area of expertise. Shooting shit, yes. Talking to women and easing their fears or whatever? God no.
He loosened his grip on her arm and slipped his fingers through hers instead. “You need to be realistic. This is balls-out dangerous. I would never let you go with me if I thought I had a choice or if I believed you’d be safe if caught walking around Skardu.”
With her free hand she played with the zipper on his slim jacket. “People think I’m a kidnapping victim.”
“With a general dead you’re a suspect.” And he knew she understood that. This was about working it out in her mind and finding a way through it, and he could give her a second or two to figure it out, but not much more.
“I didn’t know he was a general.”
“The army won’t care. They’ll want to know why he was in the clinic and what happened, and if they don’t like the answers, they’ll try to get you to give others.”
She flattened her hand against his chest and leaned in, balancing her head under his chin. “Every part of that sounds horrible.”
“Worse than that.” This part was so important that he wanted to watch her as he spoke, but he couldn’t move her. Holding her felt too good to stop, even for this. “So, if we’re seen, or taken, you act like my prisoner. Show hate and fear. Scream for help. Spit on me. I want to see your best acting.”
Her head shot up. “They’ll kill you.”
He had to shift to avoid being knocked in the chin. “They’ll grab you and that will buy time so my team can rescue you.”
“You’ll still be dead,” she said in a near whisper.
Her mouth dropped open as her hands went to his biceps. Fingers dug into his skin through the fabric of his shirt and jacket. The pleading was right there in her eyes.
He had to glance away for a second. Something about her knocked him sideways. “That’s not important.”
“Do you have a death wish?”
She had it exactly wrong. “No.”
“You act like killing doesn’t matter. Like it doesn’t bother you or touch you.” Her hands dropped away and she moved away and started to pace.
“That’s not true.”
Back and forth, right in front of him. She walked and mumbled. She got to the farthest point away from him then turned on her heel and came back. “You don’t even blink when you strangle a guy or whip out that knife to stab one.”
He refused to apologize. The work he did had to be done. He stepped up when others couldn’t. It wasn’t as if one more thing haunting him would matter that much.
But now wasn’t the time. She didn’t need sharing. She needed a bodyguard, and he willingly stepped into that role. Into whatever role she wanted.
Pushing away the drawn look on her face and how much he wanted her, he focused on the job ahead. “We need to get ready.”
His footsteps tapped against the floor and echoed in the small structure as he walked into the kitchen. One final check and they’d be ready. He’d walk her through every step and over the contingencies he’d planned for.
A second later her footsteps sounded behind him. He could feel her standing there. Almost sense the anger flowing through her.
She grabbed his arm and walked around him until she stood in front of him. “You can touch me everywhere but not carry on a simple conversation?”
Those hours, the loss of control. He couldn’t think of either right now. Not and get the job done.
He shook his head. Tried to shake off every distraction. “None of this is relevant to the next few hours.”
“Must be nice to be able to compartmentalize like that.” She shoved at his shoulder then did it again. “To lock all those emotions away.”
The machine thing. He’d refined it until it became second nature. Here he thought they’d done all this talking to the point where he needed to pull back on what he revealed, and she still found him to be more machine than man.
When he didn’t say anything, she made a noise and walked away. Kept going until she got to the family room and only stopped at the front door. She fidgeted. Wrapped her arms around her waist.
They stood not more than twenty feet apart, and the distance between stretched for miles. He didn’t know how to bridge the gap or make her understand. He had never cared how someone viewed him before. He went in, did the work, and walked away, trying to leave it on the floor behind him. He carried the marks but he didn’t break.
There was no way he could fall down now or ever. That wasn’t who he was or how he acted, and that had always been good enough for everyone. Until her.
Thoughts and ideas bombarded his brain. All those memories he kept blocked flooded through him. He wanted to storm out and refocus.
But the longer he watched her stand there, all stiff and facing into the darkening night, something changed. The hard shell around him cracked. For once he wanted to explain, if only a horrible fucking moment of his life. To let someone in.
“I was last here in 2012.” The words clogged his throat but he spit them out. “Close to Skardu. In Gyari on an undercover operation. Was with my men, following orders.”
She pivoted so slow that it felt as if it took her a month to finish. “You got caught?”
“Not the way you think.” A flash of cold hit him from out of nowhere. He’d been wearing his thin hiking jacket for three days. It fit like a shirt, and he ha
d one of those on underneath. The same one she wore earlier now skimmed his skin.
What hit him now wasn’t a breeze or the inevitable temperature drop that came with night. No, this was a bitterness that seeped into his bones. A gift from his imagination. He relived the numbing cold as if he were buried in snow right now.
She shook her head as though trying to ferret out what he was saying. “West . . .”
“We were doing recon in and around the Siachen Glacier. Checking on intel that pointed to Pakistan making headway in the ongoing battle thanks to a new weapon.” There were limits on what he could say, and he’d already stepped over the line.
A top-secret mission behind the lines. He and his team snuck in to observe the war between India and Pakistan being played out 18,000 feet in the air. The highest battleground on Earth and the location of every fucking nightmare he’d ever had in his adult life.
Throughout his career, military and with Alliance, he’d killed and narrowly escaped death several times. Survived gunshots, being gassed, and blown up. He’d describe that as the easy stuff.
He once lay in the mud while Chechen commandos walked the fields around him describing how they planned to skin him. Another time he purposely got caught by rebels in the Sudan who were hell-bent on killing women and children. Survived the knives and the torture just so he could take them down from the inside. But nothing came close to the horror of being in this area three years ago when a piece of the mountain came down.
The color left her face. “The avalanche.”
He let out a relieved breath. She knew. Not a surprise since anyone who lived and worked in the area knew. The devastation had touched so many, and the memory of how quickly life could end stayed with them.
There was no way to prepare for the next time. Even though locals and climbers talked about an angry mountain and ascribed emotions and feelings to it, the thing wasn’t human. The height, the location, the unpredictable weather. So many factors and so little control.
He didn’t even realize they’d both moved until they met in the middle. “Some argue it was a landslide. A slick brought on by rain that sent ice and rocks cascading down on top of us.”
Falling Hard Page 10