by Ali McNamara
‘Yes, there were some rather portly-looking gentlemen in there throwing sharp objects at a numbered board.’
‘That would be the darts team. You didn’t try to make friends with them, did you?’ The thought of Julian trying to bond with the local darts team was highly amusing to me.
‘No, I did not. I sat at the bar and tried to converse with the barman … but when he found out who I was he became very unfriendly indeed.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. Something to do with his relatives. He was a little vague, to be honest. Apparently my father had had some dealings with them which hadn’t gone all that well.’
‘Oh.’
‘So I drank my gin and tonic and left. There was another reason I didn’t go to The Merry Mermaid though.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I was concerned I might see you in there with your … friend.’
‘My friend?’ I ask, trying to think who he might mean. ‘Do you mean Jack?’
Julian nods.
‘But why would that matter?’
‘Oh, Kate, do you really not see it?’ Julian says dramatically, moving closer to me along the sofa. ‘I’m in love with you, and seeing you with another man – even if you claim he’s only a friend – it’s too much for me to bear.’
‘Ah.’ I wish I hadn’t sat right at the end of the sofa now, because then I could have slid further along it myself. ‘That’s very lovely of you, Julian,’ I say, again pulling my robe a little tighter around me. ‘And I’m incredibly flattered … but the thing is, I only see you as a friend. A very good friend,’ I add, hoping this will help. ‘But friends it has to be, I’m afraid.’
‘I see,’ Julian says, his head drooping. ‘Your heart is with another.’
‘No, it’s not that.’
‘Ah, Kate, even if you don’t see it yet, I do. You’ve given your heart to another man, and it is no longer mine to claim.’
‘Perhaps.’ I wonder if it will be easier to agree with his reasoning than argue against it.
‘If only we had met earlier.’
Julian to my horror slides further along the sofa now so he’s right next to me. I’m about to leap up and make a break for it when he grabs my hand and kisses the back of it.
‘Yes,’ I say, attempting to gently remove my hand from his. ‘If we’d met earlier then who knows?’
‘I shall do the gentlemanly thing and relinquish my adoration for you … for now,’ Julian adds, letting go of my hand. ‘But if anything should change?’ He stares at me longingly.
‘You’ll be the first to know!’ I finish, leaping up. ‘Right, I think it’s time to see if my clothes are dry.’ I hurry through to the kitchen.
Even if my clothes are still soaking, escaping in wet attire is much preferable right now to staying here with St Felix’s answer to Casanova!
Twenty-eight
‘Everything all right?’ I ask Anita, as I arrive back at the shop. ‘You’ve coped without me?’
‘We’ve had exactly four customers since you left, Kate,’ Anita says calmly, ‘and that was before it started raining so, yes, I’ve coped just fine.’
‘Your text seemed a bit strange though? Are you sure everything has been okay?’
‘Where did you get the umbrella?’ Anita asks, changing the subject. ‘You didn’t go out with one.’
‘It’s Julian’s.’
‘Julian? But I thought you went to see Jack?’
‘I did. Look, my clothes are a bit damp, Anita. I’ll pop upstairs and change, and then I’ll tell you all about it.’
After I’ve put on some dry clothes and come back downstairs I tell Anita about everything that’s happened over a cup of tea.
She raises her eyebrows when I tell her about Julian’s declaration but doesn’t comment.
‘And that’s when I came back here,’ I finish.
‘Well, you’ve certainly had a productive afternoon,’ Anita says diplomatically. ‘Before you ask, I know nothing about this Freddie or even a Winston James buying his cottage. I didn’t live here back then, and even if I had I would only have been a child.’
‘Yes, I know. There are very few people still here who did live in St Felix at that time. Even Jake’s Aunt Lou probably wouldn’t remember anything about Freddie selling his house – she was a teenager then.’
‘Why all the interest anyway?’ Anita asks. ‘I mean, I know why you’re interested in what happens to Clara, Maggie and Arty, but why Freddie?’
‘I don’t really know. I just get a feeling it’s all relevant in some way.’
‘Gut instinct is a much neglected tool,’ Anita says knowingly.
‘Do you know if Julian is right? Is Winston James disliked here?’ I ask. ‘Did you ever hear anything in the wool shop? I hear it was a hotbed of gossip!’
‘Hardly! We were like a hairdresser’s – we couldn’t help it if people told us all their news.’
‘Yeah, right!’ I grin. ‘So did anyone ever mention any news regarding Winston James?’
‘Not that I can remember. The first I knew of him was the exhibition at the Lyle Gallery you went to with Molly.’
‘Hmm, there has to be something. Why have Jack and I been shown all this stuff if there isn’t a reason for it?’
‘You’ll find out soon enough, dear, I’m sure. Just give it time.’
Luckily, we don’t have to wait long for a new instalment because the next morning another embroidery appears. This time it seems to show two silhouettes surrounded by a blood red sky. Excited, I text Jack straightaway.
Another one! When can we meet?
A reply comes back promptly.
Difficult at mine with Ben here now. Do you fancy that drink later? Maybe I can hide my painting in my chair and we can look at it at yours first?
I think about this before I send my reply:
Will it work without the easel?
Damn, I hadn’t thought about that. We could try?
Wait, I might have a better idea … I’ll text you later x
‘Morning,’ I say a bit later as Molly comes sleepily down into the shop. ‘What are you up to today?’
‘Not much,’ she shrugs.
‘Not seeing Chesney?’
‘Nah, not today.’
I raise my eyebrows. As far as I’m aware Molly hasn’t seen Chesney in well over a week now and I can’t say I’m too unhappy about it.
‘Is everything okay with you and Chesney?’ I ask.
Molly shrugs again.
‘It’s only I’ve noticed you’ve not seen that much of him lately?’
‘Nah, I’m trying to distance myself a bit.’
‘Oh, really?’ This was news to me.
‘Yeah,’ Molly says. ‘He got a bit … clingy.’
My ears prick up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s just a bit too full on.’
‘In what way?’ I ask, suddenly worried Chesney had been pressuring Molly to do things she hadn’t wanted to. ‘Is he pressuring you to have sex with him?’
‘Mum!’ Molly says, her cheeks bright red.
‘I’m sorry but I have to ask.’
‘No, it’s not that.’
‘Then what is it?’
Molly wrinkles up her nose, ‘It’s difficult to describe really. He’s always texting me, wanting to know what I’m doing or where I am, and if I don’t text or phone him back he immediately gets really angry.’
My blood doesn’t boil this time, it simply turns ice cold.
‘He hasn’t got physical with you, has he? I mean he hasn’t hit you when he’s been angry?’
‘No, nothing like that. When I’m with him I feel … what’s the word?’
‘Claustrophobic?’ I suggest.
‘Yeah, that’s exactly it. Like he wants to control me all the time. I feel …’
‘Smothered?’
‘Yes! How do you know all this, Mum?’
I swallow hard. I had to talk to her about it. It was happening to my daug
hter now too, and it would only get worse if we didn’t discuss it properly.
‘Because that’s what Joel was like, Molly,’ I say quietly. ‘That’s why we broke up.’
Molly stares at me. ‘Joel texted you all the time as well?’
‘He did a bit more than that, which is why there was that incident at your school. You didn’t think there was anything wrong in him trying to meet you, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. How Chesney is behaving towards you is how it starts, Molly. Boys … or maybe I should say men who want to control your life aren’t the sort you should be having a relationship with. It will never end well. Joel wanted to control me … well, us really, and I had to put a stop to it. I didn’t tell you everything at the time because you were so young … and it was my problem to deal with.’
Molly, still staring at me, eventually nods, and her expression is filled with so much understanding and sympathy that in that split second I think I actually see her grow up.
‘I get it, Mum,’ she says hugging me. ‘Really, I get it. I’m so sorry I contacted Joel. I wasn’t thinking properly – I thought you might be lonely. I had no idea it was as bad as that.’
‘That’s because I didn’t tell you the whole story,’ I say, holding her back from my embrace. ‘I wanted to protect you. You’re my little girl, and I didn’t want to expose you to any of it. Little did I know you’d experience something so similar.’
‘Joel didn’t hurt you though, did he?’
I shake my head. ‘No, I was lucky in that way, but no one has the right to try and control our lives, Molly. We’re the only ones who should be in the driver’s seat. We, and only we, are in charge of what happens to us.’
Molly nods. ‘You’re right. I guess I should end it with Chesney, shouldn’t I?’
I nod. ‘As soon as you can.’
‘It’s just … he’s my first boyfriend. What if no one else wants me?’
‘Are you kidding? A bright, funny, pretty girl like you? The boys will be lining up!’
‘I hardly think so.’
I think for a moment as an idea strikes. ‘Have you seen Ben since the meal we had at the pub?’ I ask casually.
‘No.’
‘Only Jack said he was asking after you.’
Molly’s face brightens immediately. ‘Really?’
‘Yeah, something about how he hoped to start surfing soon and he was keen for you to introduce him to your friend’s brother.’
‘It’s beginner surf school tonight on the beach,’ Molly says eagerly, as all thoughts of Chesney quickly vanish. ‘Do you think I should ask him if he’d like to go?’
‘Oh,’ I say, trying to sound surprised. ‘Is it? What a good idea. Why don’t you do that?’
Molly’s cheeks pink a little. ‘I don’t know if I can.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Because he’s well fit, Mum! You can’t just ask boys like that out, especially boys who are much older than you.’
‘I’m not suggesting you ask him out – you’re simply offering to accompany him to the surf school.’
Molly still looks unsure.
‘What if I contact Jack and ask him to see if Ben wants to go with you?’
‘No way! I can’t have my mum asking for me. The humiliation.’
‘Ah, well,’ I say, turning away. ‘It was only an idea. I thought it might cheer you up …’ I wait, hoping what I think will happen does …
‘Maybe you could just find out whether he’s interested,’ Molly says softly. ‘You know, without saying it’s me asking?’
I smile quickly to myself before turning back again with a straight face. ‘I’m sure I could do that for you.’
‘He mustn’t know it’s me asking though, Mum. Promise?’
‘I promise. I’ll be very discreet. Now, why don’t you head back upstairs. I’m sure you have some studying to do. I can’t have all this talk of boys distracting you from that, can I?’
Molly rolls her eyes and grins. ‘All right, I guess one good turn deserves another. I really am sorry, you know … about Joel. If I’d known—’
I wave my hand dismissively at her. ‘It’s all forgotten now. You go on back upstairs. I’ll let you know what Jack says later.’
When I have a break between customers I text Jack again:
Can you delicately suggest to Ben he could ask Molly to take him to the surf school tonight? PLEASE don’t let him think Molly is asking though or she’ll never speak to me again!
Jack replies:
Great idea! I’m on it now.
A few minutes later another text arrives from Jack:
Ben is on his way over to the shop – act natural!
I reply quickly:
Fast worker!
‘Hello, Ben,’ I say casually a few minutes later, when Ben arrives at the shop. ‘How are you?’
‘Good, thanks, Kate. Is Molly about by any chance?’
‘Yes, she’s upstairs. I’ll call her. Molly!’ I call up the stairs. ‘You have a visitor.’
Molly comes bounding down the stairs and looks both horrified and elated at the same time to see Ben standing in the shop.
‘Hey, Molly,’ he says calmly. ‘How are you?’
‘Great, thanks.’ Molly replies, running her hand casually through her hair.
‘I was wondering if you might introduce me to your friend’s brother. Dad says the surf school is on tonight.’
Molly quickly glances at me, but I’m already pretending to be busy with pricing some new stock. ‘Is it?’ she asks innocently. ‘Yes, of course, if you’d like me to.’
‘It would be cool if you could.’
‘I think it starts at six o’clock. What if I meet you here and we can walk down together?’
‘Great. Guess I’ll see you later then.’
‘I guess you will.’
‘Bye, Kate,’ Ben says as he’s leaving.
‘Bye, Ben!’ I say, smiling at him. ‘Say hi to your dad for me.’
Ben winks at me and then he leaves.
‘Oh my god! Oh my god!’ Molly says, flapping her arms. ‘What am I going to wear? I have nothing!’
‘You’re going down to the beach. Wear what you’d normally put on.’
Molly looks at me with a horrified expression, as if I’ve suggested she should wear a ball gown and silver slippers to walk on the sand. ‘I hardly think so, Mum. I’ll phone Emily and ask her opinion. Oh no, she’s on holiday. Sebastian!’ she cries, as Sebastian comes through the door to start his shift. ‘What should I wear for a date on the beach?’
‘Molly, it’s not a date—’ I begin.
‘It’s as good as,’ Molly says, dismissing me.
‘You’ve got a date on the beach?’ Sebastian asks, looking surprised. ‘With Chesney? Not usually his style.’
‘No, forget him. He’s history. With Ben.’
Sebastian looks confused. ‘Ben is Jack’s son,’ I explain. ‘And it’s not a date. He’s far too old for you, Molly. I’m certain he only sees you as a friend.’
‘Whatever, Mum!’ Molly says, already heading for the stairs. ‘Date or not, I’m going to the beach with a hot older guy. My friends might see me so I have to look good!’ She disappears up the stairs to her bedroom.
I shake my head as I watch her go. Talk about one extreme to another.
‘Have I met this Ben yet?’ Sebastian asks, still looking confused.
‘Not properly, no, but you probably passed him if you came in via your usual way. He’d be heading back to Jack’s shop. Tall guy, dark hair, looks a bit like a younger Jack.’
‘Was he wearing a red T-shirt and denim shorts by any chance?’ Sebastian asks.
‘Yes, that’s him.’
Sebastian nods slowly.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Well, I may be mistaken, but I rarely am these days. If Ben is the guy that I passed in the street just now, you’ll have nothing to worry about if Molly goes anywhere with him.’
‘What do
you mean?’
‘I mean that Ben is more likely to fancy me than your Molly any day!’
Twenty-nine
‘Sorry, I’m a bit late,’ I say, as I arrive up in Jack’s flat that night, carrying his newest painting and the easel I’d collected from his stock-room. ‘We had a sudden rush of last-minute customers. As soon as the weather brightened up everyone came out again.’
‘That’s okay. Ben should be a good while yet. Great idea by the way – the surf school.’
‘Thanks. Yes, I hoped that might work.’ I hesitate as I erect the easel and pop the painting on it. Should I bring the subject of Ben up now? Was it the best time? ‘Molly was so pleased when Ben popped into the shop,’ I try. ‘She really seems to like him.’
‘That’s good,’ Jack says, while I grab my usual chair. ‘Be great if our kids got along too.’
‘Yes.’ I sit down next to Jack in front of the easel. He looks expectantly at my bag, waiting for me to pull out my embroidery. ‘The only thing is, Ben is a few years older than Molly …’ I pause, hoping Jack will fill in the blanks for me, but he doesn’t.
‘Yes, he is,’ is all he says.
‘And Molly is at quite an impressionable age,’ I continue, eager to get this sorted out.
‘Are you asking if my son will lead your daughter astray?’ Jack asks in his usual straightforward way.
‘Well … yes, I am.’
Jack smiles. ‘Molly will be quite safe with Ben, Kate. He’s gay.’
So Sebastian was right!
‘You know?’ I say, forgetting I’m not supposed to.
‘Of course I know. I’m his father. How did you know?’
‘Sebastian,’ I say. ‘He told me.’
Jack nods. ‘The old gaydar, eh. I’m assured by Ben that it does actually exist!’
‘Yes, apparently it does. Oh, I’m pleased you know,’ I say, without thinking. ‘That makes things easier.’ I go to pull the embroidery from my bag.
‘Hang on a minute,’ Jack says, ‘Why wouldn’t I know?’
‘No reason,’ I say, extracting the felt from my bag and laying it on the easel.
‘Did you think he wouldn’t tell me because of my background, is that it? We do have gay soldiers in the army, you know?’