by Liz Isaacson
This was far worse than anything Jarom had said to her, and Andrew stabbed a knife right into her pounding heart with, “She’s literally one of the most annoying women on the planet. I can’t imagine anyone liking her for long.”
A squeak escaped from her lips, and Andrew twisted toward her. He shot to his feet, his eyes wide. “I have to go, Dwight. I’ll call you later.”
By the time Andrew finished speaking, Becca had flown past him and was all the way down the steps. “Becca,” he called after her, but a tornado churned inside her, and she couldn’t trust herself to turn back to him and have a conversation right now.
“Can I ride in the front please?” she asked the driver, yanking open the door before he even answered. She sniffed, her tears brimming against her eyelids. She swiped at them quickly, before Andrew could see her.
“Becca.” He slid into the backseat as the driver rounded the front of the car.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She eyed the driver. “Right now. Please.”
Andrew leaned back into his seat, pure resignation on his face. Becca folded her arms and stared out the passenger window, willing the miles to the hotel to pass quickly. They hadn’t even checked in yet, and she stood several paces behind him while he took care of everything. He’d always taken care of these arrangements, but she’d stood right next to him, accepted her key, and waited to make arrangements for dinner.
Tonight, she could barely hold back the tears.
I can’t imagine anyone liking her for long. She’d told him that men didn’t like her for very long, and he’d gone on to list all the things he liked about her. Whenever she had a moment of self-doubt, she repeated that list until she believed another one.
He turned from the check-in desk, but he didn’t extend her key to her. A tear splashed her cheek, and she wiped it away furiously. She would not cry in front of him. She lifted her chin instead, reciting how to spell great big words so she could focus on the letters instead of letting her emotions control her.
“Becca,” he said for a third time, and she held out her hand.
He took a few steps toward her. “Are we going to talk about it? It was Dwight. I had to say something.”
It had sounded so true, and Becca wasn’t sure how she could get such horrible words out of her ears. She’d given him more of herself than anyone else, and she’d genuinely started to believe that perhaps Andrew would never break up with her.
“I need a few minutes,” she whispered. “Can I please have my key?” She shook her hand impatiently, like she would for a disobedient child who hadn’t passed over something she’d requested.
He handed her a small envelope. “Room four-eleven.”
She spun away from him and snatched her bag on her way to the elevator. He let her go, and she half-wanted him to come with her, ride up to the fourth floor, and apologize again.
Wait, he hadn’t apologized at all yet.
Anger filled Becca, and she marched down the hall to her room, realizing she was going to need a lot longer than a few minutes to sort through her feelings.
As soon as the door closed behind her, she pressed her back into it and let the tears fall.
“Great, thank you Mayor Berry. I’ll be by on Monday morning. Thank you.” She hung up before she could gush out another declaration of gratitude.
She was twenty minutes late for her morning meeting with Andrew, and while that fact gnawed at her, she also had some things to take care of. Her phone rang again, and this time it was Andrew.
“I’m coming,” she said after answering the phone. “Be down in two minutes.” After zipping her bag closed, she made one quick glance around the room to make sure she got her charger and earrings from the night table.
She had refused to let Andrew come by the previous evening, instead claiming that she was simply too tired and nothing good could come from the conversation until morning.
But instead of sleeping and getting the rest she desperately needed, Becca had spent a couple of hours looking at the online job boards in Wyoming. She wasn’t sure how she was even going to survive the next three days with Andrew, let alone working on the other side of the wall from him indefinitely.
It was Dwight. I had to say something.
Yes, she thought as she left her room, her bag behind her. “But he didn’t have to use the exact thing I told him in confidence. That I’m obviously sensitive about.”
He paced in the lobby, his phone pressed to his ear, and when his eye caught hers, he looked part relieved, part sorry, and mostly irritated.
She didn’t apologize. After all, he hadn’t. And she’d needed to make the call to the Mayor’s office in Coral Canyon to see if he could use her. And as it turned out, he wanted to talk. So she’d be as late as she wanted, thank you very much.
He hung up and faced her. “Ready?”
Becca nodded, wishing her voice hadn’t abandoned her. She walked a half-step behind him as they went outside and got in their car. While the driver loaded her bag in the trunk, she scooted all the way against the door and folded her arms. She had something very important to say to him, and she wanted to do it in private. But as soon as the driver got in, they wouldn’t be alone again for the rest of the day.
Andrew could handle news like this, as he was really very talented at acting like everything was wonderful when it wasn’t. Heck, he’d probably been pretending in his feelings for her all this time.
The driver approached his door, and Becca said, “Andrew, consider this my two weeks notice.”
Seventeen
Andrew woke on Saturday morning to sunshine streaming through his window. For a moment, he didn’t know where he was. He’d been waking to the sound of an alarm, and only letting the sun in once he opened the blackout curtains in his hotel room.
But the tour had ended yesterday. He’d returned to the lodge about mid-afternoon and gone in his bedroom. He hadn’t come out once, and surely Celia would’ve rallied everyone in the family by now.
He didn’t care. He needed all the help he could get. Because Becca wouldn’t talk to him, and she’d given her notice that she was quitting.
“She can’t quit,” he said, just like he had about ten other times in the past three days. But he didn’t know how to get her to stay. She’d been so good at dealing with difficult conversations when they didn’t involve her.
But now, she’d basically shut him out. He had ways of learning things though, and he knew she had a meeting with Mayor Berry on Monday morning. He’d told her to take a few days off, but that was over a week ago, before she’d heard him call her annoying and that no one could possibly stand her for very long.
His chest tightened, and tightened until he felt sure a rib would crack. Why had he said those things? Dwight had called because someone had been talking about him and Becca online. They claimed to have a picture of them kissing, but Andrew knew that simply wasn’t true. He’d only kissed Becca in one of their hotel rooms, and there wasn’t anyone around to see that.
So he’d denied it.
“Lied about it,” he muttered to himself, though he’d always known he’d have to deny the relationship if someone brought it up.
He looked like the living dead, and his hair stood up at odd angles. He didn’t care. He cracked his bedroom door and listened to see if anyone was in the kitchen. He couldn’t hear anything, so he went down the hall, past the empty office, and into the vacant kitchen. He knew how to make coffee, despite everyone’s assumptions, and he got a pot going while he hunted around for a loaf of bread.
With a stack of toast and a cup of coffee, Andrew stepped into the backyard. He didn’t know where Bree was at the moment, but she’d obviously been hard at work on the grounds. The trees had all been trimmed back. The rose bushes too. Grape vines. Everything had been clipped and rounded and readied for the oncoming winter.
Andrew was actually surprised it hadn’t snowed in Coral Canyon yet. The Tetons always had snow on them, but he expected the
weather to turn any day now.
“I can’t believe I’m standing here thinking about the weather.” He wandered down the sidewalk a little bit, finishing his toast as he went to the stables.
Someone was inside when he entered, and his first instinct was to leave. He didn’t want to see anyone, and he certainly didn’t want them to see him. Becca had said the cowboy version of him was her favorite, because he was the most real.
He wondered what she’d think of him now, in gym shorts and a T-shirt, hair a mess, and unshaven for the past three days.
Jake worked in the stables, and when he saw Andrew, his face burst into a grin. “Hey, there, Andrew,” he said, coming down the aisle to shake Andrew’s hand. “You’re back in town then?”
“Yeah, back in town.” Andrew really wanted to be back on tour—at least the first two and a half weeks, when Becca was talking to him, kissing him, soothing him.
“So you want me to go back to just evenings?”
Andrew didn’t know what he wanted. “Let’s keep the schedule for now, Jake.”
“Sure thing.”
“Thanks.” Andrew finished his coffee and moved down to Wolfgang’s stall. “Hey, bud.” The horse seemed to remember him, and he didn’t ask any questions about schedules or women or anything else Andrew didn’t know how to answer.
“I’ll come back this afternoon and we’ll go for a ride, okay?”
Woflgang nickered as if he understood English, and Andrew smiled at the gentle horse. “What am I going to do about Becca?” he whispered so Jake couldn’t hear him. “She won’t even talk to me.” He’d never felt so heartbroken before, and he never thought he would.
Becca had changed his life in more ways than one, and he wasn’t sure how he could survive even a single day without her.
But survive he did. Celia had left food in the fridge, so he had plenty to eat. He spent a couple of hours on Wolfgang’s back. Then he retreated to his bedroom and put something on his tablet he simply stared at.
Sunday morning dawned, and Graham texted to find out if Andrew wanted a ride to church. Andrew hesitated, thinking of the last time he’d been in a chapel. Not only that, but Graham and Laney would take one look at him and want to know what had happened on tour.
Andrew looked into his own eyes and hardly recognized himself. Did he have so many sides that even he didn’t know them all?
I’m too tired, he sent to his brother, and he stepped into the shower so he couldn’t engage in any argument that might come from Graham. He should be glad he didn’t have to drive the minivan.
Andrew skipped shaving for another day, thinking maybe he’d grow a beard again now that the tour was over. Maybe then he’d know who he wanted to be, as if such a thing could be determined by something as simple as facial hair.
He didn’t go into the office for a week, and that was a new record for him. He felt somewhat like a hermit, as he avoided Celia and Bree when they were in the house, and spent all his time with the horses or by himself.
He’d tried calling Becca exactly once, and she’d answered with, “Andrew, I don’t think this is going to work out. I’m sorry.”
She was sorry? He hadn’t known what to say, and she’d said, “Good-bye, Andrew,” meaning more than the phone call.
His heart felt like someone had taken it out of his chest, shattered it on the ground, and then tried to put all the shards back together. He honestly hadn’t known it was possible to develop such strong feelings for someone in such a short time.
But he now knew he was capable of falling for someone. But he wasn’t in love with her. Oh, no. Maybe he could’ve gotten there, had he gotten a bit more time with her.
The day before Halloween, Carla called and asked if he was coming in the next day, as there was a building-wide party and each department competed for the best costumes. He didn’t want to ask if Becca would be there, but the department usually dressed in a theme and entered the competition together.
“And so you know, Becca cleaned out her office. She said she’d finish the final reports at home, and her last paycheck could be mailed.”
Andrew heard the tentativeness in her voice and knew she wanted more details. “Thank you,” he said. “Yes, I’ll be in tomorrow. What should we do?” Now that their department was down to two, it shouldn’t be too hard.
“I was thinking,” she said. “Your family has a Santa suit, don’t they?”
“Yes,” Andrew said, suddenly reminded of the upcoming Christmas holidays—and how all of his plans had included Becca.
Andrew made it through three days at work before Graham and Beau showed up in his office.
“Hey,” he said, surprise coloring the word. He leaned away from the paperwork on his desk. “What’s going on?”
Graham looked grim, and he entered the office and closed the door behind him. “This is an intervention.”
Andrew scoffed and started to smile when he realized his brothers weren’t kidding. “An intervention for what?”
Beau removed his cowboy hat and ran his free hand through his hair. “You and Becca Collings.”
“There is no me and Becca Collings,” Andrew said, his tone dark now.
“I told him you two were, in fact, dating.” Graham took a chair across from Andrew, not a hint of regret in his face or his voice.
“Great.” Andrew waited, thinking if they said what they’d come to say, they’d leave.
“What happened?” Graham asked as Beau dragged over a chair and sat beside him.
“We weren’t compatible.”
Beau laughed, and Graham simply smiled. “We know that’s not true,” his oldest brother said.
“I did something stupid, and she’s mad at me,” he said, realizing as he spoke that no, she wasn’t mad. She was hurt. He’d said horrible, mean things, even if they weren’t true.
“Have you tried talking to her?” Graham asked.
“Yes,” Andrew said. “She won’t.”
“And that’s okay with you? The Andrew Whittaker I know doesn’t just let someone avoid him.” Beau exchanged a glance with Graham. “Remember when he ran for senior class president and he needed more votes? He went house to house, passing out little candies and asking people to vote for him.”
“I did not.”
“I do remember that,” Graham said. “And he won too.”
“I’m sitting right here.”
“Look,” Graham said, leaning forward. “If you like this woman, and I think you do based on what I’m seeing in front of me, you go talk to her.”
“Yeah, the beard’s nice,” Beau said with a smile that said it really wasn’t all that nice. “And I like how you’re letting your hair grow out.”
“Shut it,” Andrew said.
“C’mon, Beau. Let’s go grab lunch.”
“Am I not invited?” Andrew stood, thinking lunch with his brothers was just what he needed.
“I’m sorry.” Graham cocked his head. “Did you hear something?”
“No, I don’t think I did.” Beau opened the door and walked out, leaving Andrew fuming in his office.
“I know you can hear me,” he called after them.
Graham came back and said, “Go talk to her.”
Andrew flexed his fists and waited until his brother was out of earshot. “Easy for you to say,” he muttered, though he’d heard the stories of how Graham had gone to Laney and they’d talked through what was keeping them apart.
But Andrew didn’t think simply showing up at Becca’s with a pepperoni and sausage pizza, an apology, and a smile would be enough.
Problem was, Andrew didn’t think he’d make it through the holidays without her. And he had no other ideas for how to get her back. He only knew he had to try.
Eighteen
Becca went through the motions of feeding Otto and filling the bowls on her back patio. With winter coming, the level of dread over keeping the food and water available for the strays had risen.
In fact, everything mad
e her cranky lately. Or sad. Or desperate. Nothing in her life was the same without Andrew, and the sight of the clothes she’d bought on his company’s credit card mocked her from their hangers in her closet.
Worse was when she had to wear something from that collection to her new job at the Mayor’s office. She hated this job, but it did pay well, and she did need the income. Or maybe she just needed something to occupy her time, keep her busy so she wouldn’t be able to spend hours thinking about Andrew and what he was doing at Springside.
She kept her eye on the news so she’d know when the first SonarBots went out in the field, as she had personally promised the media and the Mayor that they’d be the first to know. In fact, they were supposed to be able to be on-site when it sent its first sonar emissions into the rocks.
But a week passed, then two, and finally three and nothing hit the headlines. Maybe there had been a complication. Maybe with the worsening weather, Andrew had decided to wait until spring to try the new technology. They’d spoken of that once, briefly, when the timelines to SonarBot usage had been outlined.
She missed her meetings in Andrew’s office, the sly touch of his hand on hers when they exchanged a folder. The quick glances that promised dinner—and kissing—later.
Someone set something on her desk, jolting her out of her memories. Or maybe her misery. She looked up into Raven’s eyes.
“You missed lunch.” Her best friend wore a look of concern mixed with compassion. “I called you three times.”
Becca turned over her phone, which was on silent. She didn’t even know what time it was, but she saw now that it was almost one-thirty, and she was supposed to meet Raven an hour ago.
Guilt filled her, and her shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Raven.”
“It’s fine. I brought you the barbecue chicken salad.” Raven sat in the empty desk beside Becca’s. “When are you going to call him and tell him you made a mistake?”
Raven opened the Styrofoam container to lettuce, tomato, bacon, cheese, and all that delicious grilled barbecue chicken. “I’m not going to call him. We aren’t meant to be.”