by Lisa Gerkey
“Damn, you have a beautiful home! It’s so big, I bet it gets lonely.”
“No. No, it’s quiet. Just the way I like it. This way, I’m not all up in someone else’s business and no one’s in mine.”
“You have a lot of anger inside, don’t you, Jaycee?”
Madison’s hot on my heels when I get out of the car, and I head for my door. The headlights from my car put us in the spotlight when Jensen pulls into the driveway.
“It’s okay if you do, Jaycee. The guys may not get it, but I understand.”
I’m sure they’d all love to see me turn into a crying, sobbing, pitiful mess, but it won’t happen. That’s one thing Malcolm taught me. If she’d stayed long enough, Madison would know you dry the tears quick because if you don’t, the sick assholes get excited and aroused. If they didn’t fucking break me with their belts and whips and their leather straps, no-fucking-body else can do it now.
Jensen’s with us by the time I have the door unlocked, and they both follow me into my kitchen.
“I’d offer you a drink, but I’m not in the mood for company. All I need is a hot bath, and I need to forget about everything that’s happened today. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but right now I need to take care of myself. So if you guys wouldn’t mind…”
Madison hands me a piece of paper. It’s a long list of names and phone numbers.
“Call any of us, Jaycee, if you need anything. Amie… Dr. Townsend is my therapist. If you decide you want to talk to a professional, she can help you. Jensen and I wouldn’t be where we are today if I hadn’t reached out to her.”
I stiffen when Madison pulls me into a quick hug. When she lets go, Jensen takes her place in front of me.
“I know Grant wants to be the one here tonight, taking care of you. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need to let someone take care of you for a while. I’m sure you’re strong enough to do everything for yourself, but you shouldn’t have to do everything alone; Call him… Or, at least answer the phone when he calls. He’s a good guy.”
He hands me my purse and keys and they let themselves out the door, leaving me alone.
Just like I wanted.
I have so much to figure out.
Grant’s friends keep telling me what a great guy he is. I want to believe them.
I feel like I connected with him in a way I never have with anyone else. Just because I refuse to admit it out loud to anyone, doesn’t mean I didn’t want to give him a chance; especially after he kissed me. I had little time to appreciate those feelings before it all went to hell.
When that man attacked me, at first I thought Grant had caught up with me. It wasn’t until I rolled over and stared into another set of familiar eyes, I knew another part of my past has returned to haunt me. He ran away when Grant called out, but if I know him, he’ll be back.
I want to believe everything Jensen and Madison told me. I want… no, I must talk to Grant because I need for him to make me understand why he didn’t step in and try to stop the madness that went on with Malcolm Phoenix and all those monsters who hurt me if he’s really the good guy.
Grant promised he’d help me find my sister. From what I learned about Masters Security when I did my research, they’re qualified to do the work. I feel like they offer my best chance to find Kennedy or to find out what happened to her.
It’s around lunchtime when I go to the tattoo shop. I left things in an awkward place with Josh. He and I have been friends a long time and shared a lot of great and fun times. I don’t want to let one off-night ruin things between us.
Josh corners me before I’m through the door.
“You look like shit, Jaycee, but I’m glad you came. I just had pizza delivered. Come hang out and help me eat it. Jeff and Kat went out for lunch, so it’s just you and me for a little while.”
“What’s up with you, Josh? You’ve been spending a lot of time with Staci.”
He gets everything laid out so we can eat before he answers.
“Staci’s great. I respect the hell out of her, but we’re just friends.”
“What I saw looked like more than friends. You hook up with her?”
“Well yeah, but we’re on the same page. Neither of us wants more than friendship. I guess you could say Staci and I are friends who fuck, occasionally.” He smirks and gives me a wink. I let it go. This is the last place I want the conversation to take us.
We eat in silence sitting on a worn leather couch the guys put back here for moments like this, the pizza box open between us. Josh gets restless. He shuffles his feet on the floor. I can tell he has something on his mind.
“That was a big racket at The Grind. I didn’t see it, but I heard a few people talking about it.”
I should point out that his and Grant’s arguing triggered everything that caused me to run, but it’s not fair to point fingers and blame anyone else for my problems. Looking back, I realize Josh and Jeff were only teasing me with their laughter and joking when Staci asked me to join her and Josh. If I weren’t so screwed up and damaged, I could’ve laughed with them.
Then, Grant showed up staking his claim on me, even though he’d run off and was talking to the weird girl. Every time I see her, Wednesday Addams from that old TV show I used to watch reruns of, comes to mind. I think I heard someone call her Kendra.
“I want to forget that night ever happened. Can we talk about something else? I want to hang out with my best friend. How about we discuss my next tattoo?”
I thought getting a tattoo would be painful, and sometimes the pain is a bitch, but I love every minute. The burning and stinging almost turn to pleasure. After Josh works for a little while, my body grows numb and so does my mind while I concentrate on the buzz of his needle.
“I can get you on the schedule later this week if you want…What’s going on between you and Grant? It seems like something serious is in the works with you two.”
I detect jealousy in his tone. Kat swears Josh wants more than friendship with me, but I’ve never had that impression before now.
“Nothing is going on between Grant and me.”
“You’re beautiful and smart, and you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met, Jaycee. Why don’t you try? Give someone a chance to prove to you that things can be different. Grant’s a good man. If you like him… you should try.”
I jump up from the couch, causing the pizza box and a few slices to slide to the floor.
“I’m so fucking tired of everyone telling me how great Grant is! Why can’t everyone accept that I want to be alone?”
Normally, it wouldn’t bother me, but when Josh tries to hug me, I raise both hands and place them against his chest to keep him from getting closer.
“No! Not now, Josh! We’ve been friends for a long time, but I feel like something is off between us. I’ll text you or call you in a day or two. I think I just need to go home and lock my doors and be alone for a while.”
The last thing I’ll admit to anyone is I can’t stop thinking about Grant and the way he makes me feel. Since everyone keeps telling me what a wonderful man he is, there must be truth to it, so when I’m ready, I’ll let him explain his involvement with Malcolm Phoenix. I know Grant has a long history with the military and the work he does now, so I assume his job led him there, but I must hear it from him.
Even if it turns out I can trust him, the most I could ever hope for is we can be friends. Grant could have any woman he wants, so why would he even consider someone as damaged and confused as me? It makes me angry because, deep down, I want to be a woman good enough for a man like Grant.
Chapter Ten
Grant
Tonight, I’m having dinner at my place to celebrate my little sister’s birthday.
Since I don’t cook, I hired a local caterer to come in and take care of preparing the meal. Everything is ready and looks great when the doorbell rings.
Jensen and Madison are the first to arrive. He and I exchange small talk while Madison inspects
the caterer’s work and makes sure the cake is out and ready for when Emily arrives.
It's times like this that make me consider what it might be like to have a permanent woman in my life. Seeing things play out with Jensen and Madison has changed how I view a few things. Hell, I’m older than either of them by a few years. Perhaps I should’ve considered settling down a long time ago. But, with the military and my line of work, it was difficult and felt a little unfair to put someone in the position of always having to wait for me.
Jonathon shows up and then about five minutes later, Emily and her husband Lucas arrive.
“Thank you so much for putting this together for me. You and Jon always know how to make a girl feel loved. You’re the best big brothers anyone could have!”
“We’d do anything for you, sweetheart. You don’t turn twenty-six every day. It deserves a celebration. I’m glad Lucas could get away from the hospital long enough to join us.”
After a brotherly handshake and rough pats to the shoulders between Lucas and me, I turn to the young woman with them. “Lindsey, I’m glad they talked you into coming. How are you?”
“I’m doing well. Emily’s helped me a lot. I still hate going out in public, but she convinced me, since I know everyone here, I should come.”
When Lindsey escaped from the mansion, we were certain we wouldn’t find her alive, but that wasn’t the case.
Emily came across her when she was volunteering at a women’s shelter in the city. Jon and I have always let our sister in on a little of what we do. She followed the case when Malcolm was being investigated.
Lindsey had been at the shelter for days and refused to talk to anyone, but Emily got her to open up a little and figured out who she was.
My brother and I often pick on Emily because of the good heart she has. When she was a child, I can’t count the times she came home with a kitten or a lost dog she’d found, always wanting to save them and take care of them.
Lucas understood what we’d been telling him when she came home one evening with a young woman who needed help.
The women are all terrified because they know Jayson is still out there. Lindsey has more reason than the others to worry because he’s the reason she got wrapped up in the mess.
Malcolm forced her to work for him, but everyone inside his twisted operation knew she belonged to Jayson. Most women we rescued had only been there a few weeks or a few days, but Lindsey spent six years living her life as a slave to Jayson Phoenix.
After everyone finishes their dinner, we all end up in the family room. Lucas and Emily snuggle side by side on one end of the sectional while Jensen and Madison are on the other end. Lindsey sits on the matching loveseat.
Jon has yet to join us. He stepped in my office when his phone rang earlier.
“Madison told me about the new woman in your life, Grant. When do I get to meet her?” Emily doesn’t hide her silly little smirk.
“Don’t listen to Madison. I’m helping Jaycee with a few things, nothing more.”
“I’m telling you, I know there’s something between you and Jaycee, or at least, there will be when you acknowledge it.” Madison pipes in with her two cents on the situation.
Jon steps into the room and gets everyone’s attention. Thank God, because the last thing I want is to have everyone all up in my business. Especially where Jaycee’s concerned.
“Grant… I have news. Maybe you’d like to step into the office… so we can talk.”
The stern look he has on his face, I can tell it’s not good. I hope like hell nothing has happened to Jaycee. If I ever find the cocksucker who attacked her, he’ll pay for even thinking about hurting her.
“If it concerns me or Jaycee, just tell me. I don’t think it can be anything the others shouldn’t hear.”
He glances up at the ceiling and expels a large breath of air before he hits me with it, right in the damn gut.
“The man that attacked Jaycee Jennings was her husband.”
Shit. Why does hearing it bother me so goddamn much?
Everyone’s eyes are on me, waiting to see how I’ll react to what Jon’s told me.
“Her husband? How do you know, Jon?”
“Troy got a look at the license plate before he drove away. His name is David Jennings. They had a home in Franklin until they sold it a few months ago. We haven’t found a more recent address for him. You have Jaycee’s number. Ask her.”
“Wait just a minute! He attacked her! I think someone should let Jaycee explain. I saw no signs of a husband when Jensen and I took her home that night.”
Madison lets us know she’s in Jaycee’s corner, no matter what, but I don’t think Jensen agrees with her.
“Maybe the dude went off the deep end when he found his wife hanging out in a sex club. The Grind’s been open for a while. It’s a private club and people aren’t supposed to talk about it, but I’m sure many people know what goes on there by now.”
Before Jensen and Madison got back together, he spent several years married to a conniving bitch. His ex-wife lived a whole different life he knew nothing about for a long time. I can understand why he isn’t ready to defend Jaycee the way his fiancée does.
“We need to get out of here so you can go see her. It’s not that late, I’m sure she’s still awake. Don’t listen to what everyone else tells you, Grant. Go talk to her,” Madison insists.
“For what it’s worth, I have seen nothing that makes me think she’s married. Maybe she’s divorced or at least separated. To be honest, it isn’t my business. That he attacked her on my property is my business though. That man terrified Jaycee. I’m almost certain she reacted the way she did because she had a reason to fear the man.”
Jon looks at me like I’ve grown an extra head, but it’s the damn truth. I’m not saying shit only because she has me tied up in knots.
After I listen to everyone’s opinions and advice, they decide it’s time to leave. My sister hangs back for a minute after everyone else goes out.
“Life’s too short for what ifs, bub. Don’t listen to negativity. Go talk to her. It sounds like she can use your help. These hurt and abused women don’t always know how to ask for help when they need it most, you should read the signs she gives you. She might say one thing while she wants something else. I can tell you like her a lot. I can’t wait to meet Jaycee, but first, you need to do your thing and go see her.”
“The night kind of turned to shit, but I hope you had fun tonight. It’s hard to believe my baby sister is twenty-six. It seems like yesterday when Mom and Dad brought your little pooping and crying ass home. I love you, baby girl. I’m always here if you need me, you know.”
After Emily’s wiped her happy tears and left, I take her advice and go see Jaycee. It’s late, but if she’s like me, she sleeps little anyway.
I ring the doorbell and wait for about two minutes before I ring it again.
Finally, she opens the door. She’s fucking beautiful, messy hair and all. She’s wearing baggy sweatpants and a bulky sweatshirt. Even though she's hiding her body behind the heavy material she’s wearing, there’s nothing she can do to hide how gorgeous she is.
I’m met with a fiery gaze and the pissed-off look on her face.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk, Jaycee.”
Chapter Eleven
Jaycee
“We need to talk, Jaycee.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, I want to slam the door in his face.
The tone of his voice is serious. I hesitate to invite him into my home, my safe place, but everyone’s words ring in my ears. “He’s a good guy”, my friends have said; everyone is good until…they're not. I know. I’ve seen good people turn bad in the blink of an eye.
“Are you going to make me stand out here all night, Jaycee? If you’re afraid to let me come inside, we can talk out here. There’s a lot we need to talk about, so it might be easier inside the house. It’s up to you.”
I
let my eyes roam over him. He doesn’t look like a bad guy.
Even though his voice is raspy and stern, I see gentleness in his eyes. His broad chest looks like it could be a comfortable spot for someone to lay her head while he holds her in his strong muscled arms and protects her. Oh, how I want that someone to be me, just for one night. “Come in, I guess. It’s late. Surely it could’ve waited until morning.”
“I could’ve waited, but I want to get it over with sooner rather than later. We have a few things to discuss.”
“I’ve told you everything I can about Kennedy. If you can’t help me find her then…”
“I want to talk about you, Jaycee. We’ll sort things out about your sister. It will take time. Right now it’s you we need to talk about, and me too, I guess. I promised I’d answer questions you have about my involvement with Phoenix. You said you remember?”
Even though he’s inside and the door’s closed, neither of us sits. We stand to face each other in the center of the room. His massive size makes me feel small and fragile, yet looking at him excites me and makes my body yearn for things I know I can’t have. I wish he didn’t look the way he does. It would make this a lot easier.
Grant Masters doesn’t look like a man a woman wants to hate. I’m not any woman though. I’m a shattered mess of what a woman used to be.
My heart might pound excitedly every time I look at him.
My flesh might tingle every time he touches me.
I may have daydreamed a few times, about what it would be like to be with him, but the wounds are too deep to let him get that close.
“I don’t remember you being there, but I heard someone at the club call you Master G the other night. That’s what I remembered… I remember the name. I remember hearing Malcolm summon you, and the women call your name. That’s all. You helped them kidnap me that night, didn’t you? You were the one with all the hair.”
“I was there, yes. I was undercover. The feds sent a group of us to connect with Malcolm and get on his good side. It was a long investigation. By the time you were there we were in deep. We had a lot on him, just not everything we needed. On the inside, I had to become one of them. That’s the only way they would ever trust me, the only way I would get close enough to get everything we needed to put him away.”