by Lisa Gerkey
Lucas opens the door when I knock. One look at my brother-in-law’s face, I know whatever the hell’s going on can’t be good. When I walk in and find Jon sitting in a chair, leaned over palming his head, I dread hearing the reason we’re all gathered here. Lindsey and Emily huddle together on the couch, both with red, puffy eyes.
“Somebody going to tell me what the hell’s going on here? Emily?”
“Sit down, Grant. I meant to tell you and Jon together, but he got here, and well…it just came out.”
I sit down beside my sister. She’s sandwiched between Lindsey and me. “Baby, what’s wrong? Do I need to kill a motherfucker?”
Emily moves her tiny hand over and clasps onto mine.
“I have cancer, Grant. Just like Mommy and our grandmother. I have breast cancer.”
“Ah, hell, Emily. Please tell me they caught the shit early. They can do surgery and treatments. Things have come a long way since Mom and Grams had theirs.”
Lucas is a doctor. I look to him for answers. He looks as damn ragged as everyone else. I get angry when I see the fucker standing off to himself, ignoring everyone in the room.
I get up and go where he’s standing near the front door. I shove him against the wall. “What the fuck are you going to do about this, Lucas? You’re a goddamn doctor, I know there’s gotta be something you can do!”
“Grant! Grant, stop! Just stop it! Calm the fuck down. You’re scaring the girls, and there’s no reason to act this way. You know damn well Lucas loves our sister, and he’ll do anything he can to help her, but you need to cut him a little slack. He found out a short time ago that his wife has cancer.”
I push Jon’s hand from my shoulder. He’s right. I know he’s right. Lucas is crazy about Emily. I’m an asshole to suggest anything different.
“I’m sorry, Lucas. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”
He nods his head. He understands. Hell, he’d do the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot.
“So, what’s the plan, baby girl?”
I go sit with Emily once more. This time I try to keep my shit together.
“The doctors want to do a double mastectomy and chemo. Right now, only one breast is affected, but with our family history, the doctors suggest we treat it aggressively.”
“Do you have a date for the surgery? Jon and I need to make sure someone takes care of the agency so we can be there for you. You do know we’re all going to take care of you, right?”
A little smirk highlights her face, brings a faint sparkle back into her eyes. “The surgery’s in a few weeks. But, Grant, there’s one thing you could do for me now…”
“Oh, yeah? Well, tell me what and I’ll make it happen, baby girl.”
“Convince Jaycee to spend the day with Lindsey and me. I know you care about her, Grant. I want to get to know her better.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I need to talk to her and find out her plans for tonight. I stormed out of the house in such a hurry to get here I forgot to tell her I was leaving. I should probably call her.”
“You and that girl are living together?”
Jon seems downright pissed. I know he thinks it’s because I harbor guilt over these women. I wish there was a way I could make him see that Jaycee’s different from any woman I’ve known.
“It’s temporary, Jon, but yeah, I guess you could say that. You got a problem with it?”
“I think you need to be more careful with these girls, Grant.”
“Jaycee isn’t some girl, Jon. She’s very much a woman. I can promise you that.”
“So you’re fucking her too, I see. How does Kendra feel about that? Or Vivian? What’s Vivian going to say when you tell her you’ve moved on?”
“I don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks. You can all just wait and see. I care about Jaycee, and I’m not ashamed to tell you that. That’s not the reason I’ve been staying with her though. You know all the shit she’s dealing with. That’s what we do, isn’t it? We help people?”
“Grant, go find out what’s going on with your girlfriend. I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine here. Just don’t forget to bring her by in a day or two, so I can talk to her.”
After everything she’s unloaded, I don’t want to leave Emily, but she’s surrounded by love and has Lucas and Lindsey to look out for her. I need time to myself so I can let it sink in that my sister has cancer.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jaycee
“You should’ve invited your boyfriend to join us tonight.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, Jeff.”
“Ah, I think you do, princess. Kat’s told me you’ve been spending a lot of time with Grant, and he’s even been staying with you?”
“We’re just friends, nothing more.”
Josh has been quiet tonight. Kat says he hasn’t been himself since they returned from the convention. I asked him why Staci wasn’t with him. He shrugged his shoulders and said they weren’t talking anymore.
It amazes me how fast people can be something to one another and then they’re nothing. How do people turn their feelings off so quickly?
“Guys, it’s time I call a cab. I need to take my sleepy ass home and rest. It’s been a long day.”
“You don’t need a cab, babe, I’ll drive you.”
Maybe if I get Josh alone for a while, he’ll tell me what’s bugging him. Since everything has been so screwed up in my life, we’ve had little time together, but he’s still my best friend. If he needs someone, I want to be there for him.
I wait until we’re almost to my house before I break the silence.
“What’s wrong with you, Josh? Don’t say ‘nothing’? We’ve been friends long enough I can tell something isn’t right with you.”
“Just have shit on my mind, babe. I promise everything’s fine. I have some stuff I need to figure out. That’s all.”
“If you’re sure. I hate seeing you so unhappy.”
“Imagine how I’ve felt with you, Jaycee. I’m so fucking glad to see you’re finally finding a little happiness. I think Grant’s responsible for the change in you. I hope it works out with him.”
Josh is pulling in my driveway when his phone vibrates. It’s lying on the seat between us. The photo that pops up shocks the holy shit out of me.
“What’s wrong, Jaycee?”
He hits the reject call button and slips the phone into his pocket like it’s no big deal.
Maybe I’m just tired and my eyes are playing tricks on me.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired. Thanks for the ride.”
I climb out of his truck before he has time to say more. Grant’s car sits in the driveway.
I’m glad he’s here. Going inside an empty house isn’t something I want to do right now. My hands tremble when I unlock the back door, but after a few clumsy tries, I finally get it.
“Grant! What are you doing?”
He’s seated at the kitchen table with an almost empty whiskey bottle in front of him. He’s staring at it like he’s willing the demons to come out. My past, dealing with a drunken husband night after night, flashes through my mind. There’s no way I’ll ever put myself through that again.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
His words come out better than I’d expected. Still, I can smell the liquor even a few feet away. I know he’s had more than anyone should need in one night, especially when drinking alone.
“Do you do this often, Grant?”
“Nah, I can’t remember the last time I had more than a few drinks. I thought it would help, but it won’t change anything. I can’t make it go away no matter what I do.”
“Make what go away, Grant? You’re scaring me. I have shit to figure out, so tell me what’s going on, or I’m going to call a cab so you can take the party to your house. I don’t need this, nor want it.”
“Emily…she has cancer. Can you believe that shit? She’s younger than me or Jon and look at us. We’re both fine. We los
t our mom and our grandma to the same shit, Jaycee. I’m not ready to lose my baby sister.”
What do you say when someone unloads something like this on you?
“Cancer isn’t a life sentence anymore, Grant. I’m sure she has alternatives that didn’t exist when your mother and grandmother fought their battles. Emily’s strong, I can tell. If she’s anything like you, she has to be. Don’t give up on her just yet, okay?”
I need to talk to him about what I saw tonight, but he’s drunk and too caught up in his own life now to deal with mine. I’m not sure when tomorrow gets here he’d remember anyway.
How can life be so unfair?
Just when I think I’m about to find my sister, Grant gets the terrible news he could lose his.
The sunlight’s shining through my bedroom window when a noise wakes me. Whether I want to admit it or not, since Grant’s been staying with me, sleep has come much easier. I’ve had restless nights, but nothing like before he came.
When I feel the bed dip behind me, I know it’s him. I lie still and wait.
He raises the covers and slides in behind me. I can’t wipe the silly grin off my face when he moves until he’s spooning my body with his. I’m wearing an oversized t-shirt and panties. His rough palm grazes my thigh and moves up to rest over my hip.
“You awake?” His gruff morning voice breaks the silence when he speaks close to my ear.
I don’t know what to say to him this morning. The sight I saw when I found him at my kitchen table isn’t something I can forget so easily. Although, knowing the reasons behind his episode helps me to understand.
“I’m sorry, Jaycee. I shouldn’t have let you see that last night. Don’t be afraid of me, sweetheart. I don’t do shit like that all the time.”
I turn over to face him. His hair is damp and there’s no sign of whiskey on his breath. He’s already had a shower. I lay my head against his chest and listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat. “I needed you last night.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. Tell me now what you need. You know I’ll do anything for you.”
I feel him grow hard against my lower stomach. I feel the need for that too, but I should get more important stuff out of the way before I let my mind go there. “Something happened with Josh last night, Grant. I…”
I’ve seen no one move so fast as when he gets out of my bed.
“What the hell, Jaycee? What do you mean something happened with Josh? Did you fuck him?”
I follow him out of the bed. I refuse to stand back and let him accuse me of something before he gives me time to get the words out.
“You know what? Get the fuck out of my house! I’m not going to let anyone accuse me of bullshit when they can’t bother to even listen to what I have to say. Fuck you! What I was going to tell you is I saw a picture of Kennedy on Josh’s phone last night when he drove me home! I think she was calling him. It freaked me out, so I didn’t say anything to him, but…but, god! I know Josh, I don’t think he has anything to do with her going missing, but he must know something. At least he can tell me where she is. I’ll figure it out myself though because you can just go to hell!”
I storm from the bedroom to the bathroom and lock the door. I’ll stay in the bathroom until he figures out I have nothing more to say. He can get his shit and leave.
Madison texts me every day, she always wants to know if there’s anything she can do for me. I’ll talk to her and see if Jensen will help me find Kennedy. At least now, I have something concrete to go on, a place where I can look for her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Grant
“I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you grovel hard enough. Do you know how many times I’ve pissed Madison off and she’s had to put me in my place? Plus, makeup sex is the best kind.”
I asked Jensen to meet me at The Grind. It’s closed, so it’s only us here. The way I acted with Jaycee was irrational. I need to apologize, probably several times, to make up for acting like such a dick. I feel like I’m in high school all over again, having to consult with my best friend to come up with a way to make it up to Jaycee for accusing her of fucking Josh.
“The motherfucker’s in love with her. He does a shit job hiding it when he’s around her. Before, I didn’t think she had a clue, but now…”
“I don’t think Jaycee’s taken a chance with anyone else like she has with you, Grant. She’s been through a lot. She trusts Josh because Kat trusts him and his brother. Don’t let shit like this come between you two. On to more important things, don’t you think it’s strange Josh had her sister’s picture on his phone? He gets around, and Nashville isn’t all that big, so hell, who knows. Maybe you got lucky because I bet he’s your ticket to finding Kennedy. That might also be a way to make shit up to Jaycee. Focus on finding her sister.”
A smirk spreads across Jensen’s face when he reads a text he’s just received. “At least you don’t have to worry about your girl. She’s with Madison. They’re on their way to meet up with Emily and Lindsey for the day.”
Before I head home, or to Jaycee’s, I drop in the tattoo shop to have a word with Josh. Jaycee might be angry as fuck with me and she might not want to talk, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find Kennedy.
“Can I help you?”
“Hi, Kat, is Josh here?”
“Um…yeah, but he’s been in a shitty mood all day. Not sure you’ll have much luck talking to him. You should probably wait.”
“Nah. It can’t wait. I’m in a shitty mood myself, but what I need to see him about is important…business.” Kat blinks a few times, surprised when I throw my PI badge down for her to see. Man’s got to do what’s necessary sometimes, to get the job done.
“Fine. He’s in the lounge. He canceled his evening appointments. Said he wasn’t feeling it.”
“Josh, man, how are you doing?” He’s standing at the small counter that holds the Keurig and a few assorted snacks. His back is to the door. From where I’m standing, it looks like he’s in deep thought about something, his hands gripping tight to the light-colored granite.
“I’m not in the mood to talk shit today.”
“Good. Neither am I, so we can get right down to the reason I’m here.” I pull a thin stack of photographs from my jacket pocket and toss them down on the counter beside him. “Why don’t you tell me how you know this girl?”
“How the hell do you even know about her?”
He’s surprised when he learns why I’m here, but when he looks at the images, I know he isn’t confused about the person in them. He knows Kennedy.
“Jaycee saw her picture on your phone when you drove her home.”
“Jaycee? I don’t understand what’s going on here, Grant. How does Jaycee know Kennedy?”
“She’s Jaycee’s sister, Josh. She’s missing, as far as Jaycee can tell. No one has heard from Kennedy or spoken to her in almost two years. Why don’t you help me out here? How do you know this girl?”
He sits down on the old worn couch and chuckles softly.
“Imagine that. Fuck. I’m sure Jaycee will want to hear this too, so why don’t we save the story until I can tell you both at the same time? It’s isn’t pretty, Grant. Kennedy’s put herself through hell. She’s a fucking mess and needs help.”
“But, you know she’s alive? She’s not in any trouble?”
“She’s alive, but I’m almost certain she’s in trouble. Only, it’s the kind of trouble she needs to want help out of, until then, all anyone can do is wait…and pray.”
“You’re worrying me, Josh. I know you think Jaycee needs to hear this too, but come on, man, just let me have it. I need to know what the hell is going on with Kennedy. If there’s something we can do to help her, I don’t want to wait.”
“Fine. I can tell you, she’s dabbling in drugs. I don’t know the details or how bad, but I know it’s happening. She works at a gentleman’s club in Memphis. When Jeff and I were away at the conference, that’s where I ran into her. I spent a little time wi
th her and let’s just say…she got to me. I got her number before Jeff and I headed home but she hasn’t responded to my texts or calls. She rang my phone when I was taking Jaycee home, but I didn’t want to get into anything with Jaycee there, so I rejected the call. If I hear a word from her, you’ll be the first to know.”
None of this shit makes sense. She’s not even twenty-one, so how the hell is she working in a club like that, and another thing, why isn’t she more concerned with getting the inheritance she’s due to collect in a few weeks? It looks like Jaycee and I need to plan a little trip to Memphis soon.
Chapter Twenty-Three
jaycee
I’ve spent the entire day with Madison, Emily, and Lindsey. We’ve talked about everything.
“I’m so glad we’ve had this time together, Jaycee. I know my brother is head over heels for you, and that makes me so happy.”
“Can I get you ladies anything, more wine?” Emily’s husband, who arrived home a short while ago from his job at the hospital, sticks his head in the door where we’re all hanging out in their family room.
“No, we’re good. You’re welcome to join us.” Lucas comes over and lays a big kiss on Emily’s lips as he chuckles.
“I’ve been dealing with women all day, babe. I’ll leave you girls alone to do your thing while I go to the basement and get in a little workout. Jensen and Grant have both been blowing up my phone. I’m sure it won’t be long until they show up to get their women.”
Grant pissed me off this morning, but now that the day’s almost over, I look forward to seeing him. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize, it’s good he got upset this morning. It only means he cares. It’s no different from how I’ve reacted when I saw him with Kendra. Although, I suspect he and Kendra have had sex, and Josh and I are nothing more than friends.