Blue still didn’t say anything. Leaning into my hand, he looked at me with his liquid eyes and sighed heavily.
“I know I should probably regret it. I don’t do one-night stands, and he doesn’t do relationships—not that I have time for a relationship—but still. He just looked so gorgeous, and I’d spent so long daydreaming about him while watching his show. And he was interested in me. Me. But maybe I was just the nearest warm body. He didn’t have anything else to do last night, so apparently I was good enough. God, that’s so pathetic. He certainly made it clear enough this morning that I was lacking. Not up to his usual standards.” I sighed. “The thing is though, I really don’t regret it. No matter how big of an ass he was being this morning, last night was amazing. I’ll probably be thinking about it every time I reach for my rabbit. Which is probably the most pathetic thing of all, right? He treated me like shit this morning, and given the opportunity I’d probably still sleep with him again.”
Blue groaned as he sank down onto the gleaming hardwood floor.
“I know. It’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. I’m talking to a dog. God! And all this will just be a memory tonight when I’m slinging drinks at Finnegans.” I fell back onto the bed with a sigh. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d be damned if I gave Austin the opportunity to get all snarky with me again. Despite his piss-poor apology, he’d practically exiled me to a bedroom. I guess I could go outside and start shoveling the driveway myself, but it seemed so futile when a big truck was on its way to do the job for me. And my arms still burned from the work I’d done yesterday. I guess there was always a stupid game on my cell phone to keep me occupied. I was reaching for my phone when a motion on the other side of the room made me jump.
The bedroom door swung open, and Austin stood in the doorway with a disgruntled expression. “I didn’t mean for you to hole yourself up in a room all day. I know I acted like an ass, but I swear I can keep my hands off you if that’s what you want.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times. How long had he been standing there? Had he heard me pour my heart out to Blue? Given the way he was frowning at me, I guessed not. I had just confessed to thinking about him when I was diddling myself after all. No way would that info make him so irritated.
Finally I replied, “I’m not holed up here. Blue is keeping me company.”
Austin grunted. “Yeah, well I need to take the mutt outside and let him run a bit. You wanna come?”
10
Austin
I’d actually come down the hall with Blue, but when I heard Rachel make that gasping little cry, I lost my nerve. After I’d been such a dick to her, I didn’t think she’d want me to see her in another moment of weakness. So, I let Blue in to keep her company while I eavesdropped outside like a fucking stalker.
And I’d heard everything. Her troubles with her family. Her insecurities. And how—despite me being a total ass this morning—she still wanted me.
I didn’t know what to do with all that information. I barely knew the woman, and she clearly didn’t want me to know any of it. Besides what could I do? It’s not like I was a fucking fairy godfather who could make her wishes come true. Especially if any of them involved me and a happily ever after. Just the thought of it made my skin itch. That shit wasn’t for guys like me. Families weren’t for guys like me, and she had a kid already who counted on her. The last thing she needed in her life was me.
So, I did what any normal guy would do—pretended like I hadn’t heard a word.
“You coming to walk Blue or not?” The words sounded harsh, but fuck it, that was me.
“I uh, I…” Rachel looked away from me and laughed at the look Blue gave her. The mutt was a pro at the sad eyes. Finally Rachel sighed. “Fine. I’ll come with you guys.”
Like he’d understood everything we’d said—and with Blue that was a possibility—he jumped to his feet and pranced to the doorway. I laughed and gave him a pat on his head as he passed by. “You’re such a fucking goof.”
Blue wiggled down the hallway and stairs while Rachel and I followed, keeping a respectful and awkward distance between the two of us. I didn’t know what to say to her. I tried to remember how we left things before I took a shower, but that didn’t help either. If memory served, I said something stupid about her taking a shower with me after I’d been a total ass to her. Instead I kept my mouth shut as I let Blue out the back door and watched on the deck next to a silent Rachel as Blue frolicked in the snow like a puppy—all goofy and happy. It was enough to bring a smile to an old miserable bastard’s face, judging by the way my cheeks ached after a few minutes.
Right up until my cell phone rang, and I saw the contact on the display. Nathan.
“Is it about the plow?” Rachel asked.
“No,” I grunted as I pushed the button to reject the call.
A beat later, my phone started ringing in my hand again. Nathan. Again. Determined little fucker. “I gotta take this. I guess it’s important.” I turned away from Rachel and took a few steps down the large deck away from her then answered my phone. “Yeah, what?”
“Wow. Rough night I take it?”
“Fuck off. What do you want?” Guilt pinched at my upper back. I still hadn’t told my brothers about Dad’s upcoming parole. I knew I’d have to, I just hadn’t figured out how I wanted to deliver the news. I sure as shit knew I didn’t want to do it over the phone though.
“Well, I wanted to know if you were coming in to work today. Haven’t see you in a couple days. Nice to know you’re still alive.” Nathan drawled like he was a disappointed father. “After that little speech about everyone pulling their weight, I kinda thought you’d show up to work this week. You know we got the final fitting for the West Coast King’s bike. And that scary son of a bitch won’t be happy if I’m the only fucking guy who shows up to deliver the bike. He’s dropping a fuck-ton of money and you know he wants the whole show.”
I closed my eyes as I rubbed the back of my head. “Shit. I forgot that was today.”
“So? Get your ass over to the shop and help me finish the bike before our delivery time. Half the reason the clients come to us is to see your pretty face.”
“Fuck you. You know I hate that shit.”
“Aww, does that mean you didn’t get lucky last night? Did Austin Burns actually strike out and have to go home alone for a change?”
My eyes darted to Rachel like she could hear our conversation. She clapped her hands and laughed as Blue raced by, stirring up snow in his wake. Christ, she looked so happy in carefree in that moment—unlike how I’d found her earlier upstairs. Just the sight of her smile caused my heart to stutter. Until she saw me watching her, and the smile fell right off her face. She stared back at me with an earnest expression for a moment before she shook her head and turned away, leaving me suddenly anxious for no reason that I could tell. I didn’t know what that had been about. And honestly the whole thing just pissed me off.
“None of your fucking business,” I bit out. “Isn’t Ryan there helping you?”
“Like you are? When you pulled your little no call no show yesterday, he took off after lunch and I haven’t seen him since. He’s probably knee deep in the pussy that rejected you last night.”
“Very funny, asshole. Look, I can’t come in today. Maybe you should call T-Bone and tell him the bike won’t be ready until Monday.”
Nathan snorted. “You want me to call the president of the fucking West Coast Kings Motorcycle Club the day he’s supposed get his bike, and tell him what? That we forgot? Are you fucking shitting me? No way in hell am I making that call.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Nathan. I’m in Tahoe. There’s three fucking feet of snow on the road. I’m not getting down the mountain anytime soon. You fucking figure it out.”
“Are you shitting me? We have the scariest fucking son of a bitch I’ve ever met in my life expecting us to deliver a bike and you’ve fucked off to Tahoe for the weekend?”
“S
omething came up and I…had to get away. Fuck, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Goddamn it!” Something metallic sounding crashed in the background, and I knew Nathan was already at the shop working on the bike. Where I should be. Fuck.
“I’m sorry, bro. I just…” I sighed. I really didn’t want to get into the reason I’d come to Tahoe in the first place. Nathan deserved a face to face when he got that info. I was afraid he’d do something crazy and either wind up in jail or the E.R. I had to be there to make sure it didn’t all go tits up.
“No. I got it.” Nathan bit out. “I’ll take care of it. Like always.”
“I’m so—” A low beep sounded, cutting me off.
The fucker hung up on me.
I yelled and clenched my fists. I really, really wanted to throw my fucking phone and vent some of the rage I felt, but it wouldn’t help anything. And I needed my phone to get through the rest of the weekend here. “Fuck!”
My leg swung out and connected with a deckchair. The blow reverberated up my leg and only budged a few inches of snow covering it. “Fuck.”
I didn’t even know who I was mad at. My father. The parole board. Myself. The owner of the fucking snow plowing company who didn’t bother to show up today. It was all just a big fucking clusterfuck of bullshit.
Fuck my life.
I shoved my cell phone in my back pocket and was bending down to pick up a deckchair when a soft cough froze me in my tracks. I’d forgotten I had an audience. Son of a bitch. I closed my eyes and rubbed at the back of my neck. I needed to get my shit in line.
I cleared my throat and couldn’t even look in her direction. “You okay watching Blue for me? I need to take care of some shit inside.”
“Yeah,” she answered softly. “I can watch him.”
“It’s so cold out here, he won’t be long, and he doesn’t wander off. I’ll be inside if you need me.”
“Ummm hmmm,” Rachel murmured.
I could hear the skepticism and disappointment in her quiet reply.
Join the club. I was disappointed in me too.
*
A shit load of sweat, a messy home gym, and an hour later, I still didn’t feel any better about the situation. Despite what Nathan had said, I’d never left him holding his dick in front of clients before. I was always there to do the glad handing and bullshitting. So to drop the ball in front of the fucking West Coast Kings… I’d be lucky if all that happened was their disappointment and vowing to never buy another bike from us again. Those fuckers were intimidating assholes—they didn’t pull that shit with me, but with my little bro they were dicks—and I’d left Nathan to face them alone.
I wiped at a trickle of sweat coursing down my temple. This whole thing with my dad just threw me off so much. And apparently no amount of pushups, squats, or punches at the heavy bag was gonna make that feeling go away. Weights were strewn all over the place and the stack of yoga mats fell over when I’d grabbed one from the pile. I really needed to clean the place up. I didn’t want to be that douchey houseguest. Cole was a good guy, and I kinda wanted to keep him as a friend. The rate I was going, I’d need every one I had.
I’d just straightened up the pile of mats when a scraping sound caught my attention. Raising the blinds, I looked out the window and saw Rachel standing in the middle of the road, shovel in hand, pushing the snow into big piles. She’d got about ten feet of road cleared in addition to her car.
Did she really think she could plow the fucking road between here and the highway? It was miles of road!
“Son of a bitch.” I ran out of the room. Three steps later, I almost tripped over Blue in the hallway. He’d taken up a post between me and the doorway, almost like he couldn’t decide who he should be guarding. “Hey, boy. You okay?”
Blue sat up with a whine and swung his head toward the front door.
“Yeah, I think we gotta talk some sense in her. She can’t plow the fucking road all by herself. Come on.” I grabbed my coat next to the door and pulled it on over my naked chest. My shirt was balled up somewhere in Cole’s home gym. I shoved my bare feet into my boots next to the door and half-assedly laced them up. Blue whined next to me, urging me to hurry. I ripped open the door, and Blue bounded out, with me close on his heels.
“What the hell are you doing, woman!” I shouted before I met up with Rachel.
She glanced at me then bent down to pet Blue. “What does it look like?”
“It looks like you’re fucking insane. You do know there’s like five miles of road between us and the highway, right? Are you planning on plowing the whole fucking thing by hand?”
“I have to do something!” Rachel waved an agitated hand as she stood back up to face me. “I can’t just sit here and wait for someone to call or show up. I have people waiting on me—my family is counting on me.”
“You think I don’t know that? You think the same fucking thing isn’t happening to me right now? I was supposed to be at work today too. Our scariest fucking client is expecting a bike delivery today, and I’m not gonna be there to stand between him and my brother. That’s my job! That’s what I’ve done my whole life, and today I’m not gonna be there. I won’t be there to protect him.”
Rachel stared back at me with wide eyes, and her mouth opened and closed like a fish.
I sighed as some of my anger melted away at Rachel’s bewilderment.
I hadn’t meant to reveal so much. My shit was my shit. No one else needed to know what was really going on in my life—least of all a piece of ass I’d hooked up with for a night. I just had so much anger pent up. Booze hadn’t helped. Exercise hadn’t helped. Really the only thing that’d worked was when I had her naked and under me, but that’d never happen again.
I needed to get my shit under control.
“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” I reached over and gently took the snow shovel out of her hands. “We all have shit—that’s all I’m saying. Well, that, and there’s no way either of us is going to be able to dig our way out of this mess. There’s too much road between us and the highway. It’s dangerous. We’re better off waiting until the plow comes. I don’t know where the hell Cole’s business manager is, but he still hasn’t called me back. If you’d like, I can call around and see if I can find another service.”
Rachel bit her lip and looked down the long, snow-covered road, her brow wrinkled.
“I’ll even pay.”
Rachel’s eyes shot to mine. “It’s not the money that’s bothering me. Well, it is, ‘cause I can’t afford it, but I’m worried about the weather. There’s supposed to be another system moving in this afternoon. If we can’t get out of here by noon, I doubt you’ll find another outfit willing to come out in the middle of another storm. We could be trapped here overnight again.”
I nodded slowly. “I’ll get on the horn and see if we can get you home to your little boy sooner than later.”
“Thank you.”
11
Rachel
I followed behind Austin as he tromped through the snow toward the house. He whistled for Blue then muttered something about finding his phone to make the calls. I grabbed the snow shovel and waded to the garage so I could put it back where I’d found it.
I stood in the relative quiet of the garage and looked at all the toys that boys had to buy, and Austin’s words rang in my head.
“I won’t be there to protect him. That’s my job! That’s what I’ve done my whole life, and today I’m not gonna be there.”
What the hell had gone on in Austin’s life that he had to take up a guardian role with his brothers? I knew there was only like a year or two difference between him and Nathan. I’d thought that was the reason for the friction between them, but now I wondered. I vaguely remembered something about his past about his parents. I thought he’d been raised by an aunt or something, but I couldn’t remember. My fingers itched to whip out my phone and search for the answers. Only suddenly that felt wrong since I kinda knew him now. We’d had sex
and then slept in the same bed. I’d made him breakfast. Sure, we weren’t a couple, but I still kinda felt like I owed him more than creeping on his past online. And even though he’d been an ass this morning, I didn’t like that he was hurting after his phone call with his brother. I hoped whatever happened, he stopped feeling so responsible for everything going on.
Pot meet kettle.
I rolled my eyes and a snort slipped out.
“What’s so funny?”
I swung around and couldn’t fight the blush heating up my cheeks when I found Austin and Blue standing in the doorway to the house. Austin hit the button to lower the garage door and raised his eyebrows.
“The last thing I thought I’d find was you in here laughing to yourself. Have you lost it? Do I need to call for a shrink or something?” Austin hopped down the steps into the garage and walked toward me with a distinct swagger.
Why the hell did he have to look so attractive when what he was wearing looked so damn ridiculous? His sweatpants were stuffed haphazardly into his boots that were barely laced up, and he had on a thick sheepskin coat over his bare chest. And yet it was the tribal tattoo covering his right pec that I couldn’t look away from—a motorcycle seemingly built out of fire. I’d wanted to trace that pattern with my tongue last night, lick those flames over and over again until he was as crazy with desire as he’d made me. But I never got the chance.
Probably never would have the chance now.
I sighed, ignoring his question. “Did you get a hold of anyone?”
“Nope. Left a few messages. I guess we’ll see if anyone calls back or shows up.” He stopped in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest, hiding the awesome view I’d been drooling over. His elbow brushed against my chest in the process. “Now how about you answer the question? What got you so happy all the sudden?”
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