“That we hadn't really discussed it.” He turned to look at her, gray eyes solemn. “Told him I had feelings for you, though.”
Kristy felt a surge of emotion, realizing how much she'd needed to hear that from him. How much she'd longed to hear it for almost two weeks, now. And she also realized she couldn't keep up this distance between them anymore. “If you want to say something, I'm listening,” she said softly.
Tom gave her a relieved look, although he paused to gather his thoughts. She might've found that annoying at one point, but now she realized she found how carefully he approached things endearing. “This whole thing we've been going through might not've been entirely about the argument itself,” he finally said.
She blinked. “What else would it be about?”
“The fact that, slow as it seemed our relationship was progressing, we still might've been rushing into things.” He looked at her, his gray eyes deep wells of feeling. “I've gone a decade without really being around people. Being with you, what we have together, is like rain in a desert, and I've come to life in a way I haven't since before the shortages began.”
Kristy felt her heart reach out to this wonderful man, and couldn't help but take his hand and squeeze it gently. He squeezed back, the love in his eyes making her heart soar. “But too much rain can cause a flood, can't it?” she asked gently. “You need time to yourself every now and then, and a chance to take things at a pace you're comfortable with.”
“That I do,” he agreed.
She hesitated. “And so do I.” She squeezed his hand again. “I'm still hurting from losing Miles, Tom. Probably always will be. I rushed into things with Simon, and it led to disaster. Maybe I was a bit afraid I was rushing into things with you, too.”
The mountain man hesitantly put an arm around her, and she let herself lean into his side, feeling a flood of relief; she'd missed this. “There's no hurry,” he said. “Especially when acting hastily can lead to hurting you, which is the last thing I'd ever want.”
“Me too,” she agreed with deep feeling.
“Watching what we have all start to fall apart . . . I hated every moment of it.” He drew back to arm's length and looked at her intensely, that expression that seemed to make her his whole focus. His whole world. Her heart fluttered.
“But I love you,” he continued in a fierce whisper. “I love you so much it hurts, Kristy Graham. And I know you love Vicky and you'd do anything for her. So if you want to get married because of an unexpected baby, I'm all for it.”
Kristy didn't know whether she wanted to laugh at his lame attempt at humor, or hit him, or throw her arms around him and bury her face in his shoulder and bawl her eyes out. So she did all three, letting her tears soak into his shirt as he wrapped his strong arms around her comfortingly.
“You don't know what this means to me, Tom,” she said when she could finally find her voice.
He hugged her a bit tighter and kissed her forehead. “I know,” he whispered. He didn't say it, but Kristy felt the unspoken words he wanted to add hanging over them. That's why I'm doing it. Was it enough, him giving in like this even though he didn't really want to do it?
Could she hope for anything more?
Kristy took his hand and tugged on it, starting for a nearby hill. “Come on. This used to be my favorite spot to watch the sunset.”
In spite of the moment they'd just shared, things were still uncomfortably strained between them. More than even the first sunset they'd shared together; the silence that stretched for most of the time they spent together that evening wasn't exactly contented or companionable. But Kristy determinedly leaned against Tom's side until he put his arm around her, and as she settled into that familiar, comforting embrace she allowed herself to believe they'd soon be as close as they once were.
Hopefully much closer, now that they'd weathered this obstacle and their relationship could continue to grow.
* * * * *
Kristy had to admit that her heart was in her throat on the entire wagon ride back to where they'd planned to meet the Hendricksons.
They were all trying to look casual, her seated on the seat beside Tom while he drove, with Skyler walking alongside the wagon and occasionally wandering off to look at things that caught his interest with purely genuine childish curiosity.
She even used the excuse to cuddle up to the mountain man, although with the jolting vehicle and the way he frequently had to shift positions to watch the terrain around them, the experience wasn't exactly cozy and intimate. They were also both still struggling for casual conversation, although at least she consoled herself that they were trying.
With every mile that crawled past, she was deeply aware of the wagon bed behind them piled high with bundles of guns, ammo, precious metals, and useful tools, with only a few flimsy bits of furniture as a pathetic disguise.
Sure, on the surface most might take them for a simple family moving to a new place. But the fact that they had two horses and a wagon already spoke to wealth, and that would make them a target.
Luckily Tom was a veteran traveler, and while escorting a vast fortune was new even for him, he consoled her that absolutely no one besides them knew what they had, and the chances of ambushes or being hunted were nonexistent. He also had plenty of experience with guiding convoys along routes where people wouldn't be around, and bandits would have no reason to lurk.
In fact, he planned to lead them on such routes all the way back to the winter lodge, bypassing Emery entirely. They'd even be traveling on tiny mountain roads for most of it. The biggest things they'd have to worry about weren't so much human threats as having to get out shovels and picks and saws and clear old, unused roads so the heavy wagon could pass, adding days to the trip.
That sounded just fine to Kristy.
Thanks to his caution, and good fortune no doubt, they reached the planned meeting place without trouble. The Hendricksons hadn't arrived yet, so Tom led the wagon into a copse of trees where it would be as well hidden as possible. Then, to Skyler's delight, he announced that while they waited they might as well go through all the stuff they'd dug up and make sure it was in good shape, and clean and repair anything that needed it.
Kristy had to admit she'd been looking forward to seeing the treasure as well. But to her disappointment, the mountain man decided to start with the rifles. Not just start with them, but get to work thoroughly inspecting and maintaining them.
The job was pure drudgery for her, enough to put a serious damper on her enthusiasm in spite of knowing that each weapon she handled was worth a small fortune. Even her son lost his eagerness when he realized just how much work went into taking apart a gun, thoroughly cleaning and oiling each part and replacing those that needed it, then putting everything back together.
It was a huge relief when after only an hour or so, Bob's piercing whistle from the direction of the lookout alerted them to the other family's arrival. Tom had her and Skyler go out to meet their friends while he swiftly and smoothly began scooping up the half-assembled weapons and materials to wrap in a tarp.
Kristy had a feeling she knew how Tom had felt at seeing her expression fall yesterday, when she spotted her friends, saw their glum expressions, and realized with a heavy heart that they hadn't had any luck in Highland, either. She hadn't really expected it, and the crisis was averted anyway since Tom had agreed to take the baby, but even so, she was disappointed on Vicky's behalf.
She ran to her friend, who'd dismounted from the mule and immediately slumped to the ground, Lisa huddled up to her side. She dropped down on the petite woman's other side and wrapped her arms around her.
“Bob and I have talked it over,” Vicky said heavily. “We've decided we're going to stop searching. We're getting too close to winter, now, and anyway it would just take too much from the life we're trying to build in the valley. Besides, it probably wouldn't even end the way we want. We'll have the baby and decide what to do from there.”
Kristy hugged her tighter.
“I talked it over with Tom, too. We'll take the baby.” Her friend just stared disconsolately at the ground without showing much reaction. “We'll make it work, Vicky.”
Still no response. Exchanging a glance with Lisa, who shrugged, Kristy patted the petite woman's shoulder and stood. “Tom's found a good secluded spot to camp tonight. Let me cook dinner while you rest . . . you'll feel better after a good meal.”
Good was probably a stretch, since the best she could do was dried meat boiled with spices, root vegetables, and flour to make a decent enough, if slightly chewy, stew. It didn't seem to boost her friend's mood, either, and although Kristy and Tom were finally speaking to each other that didn't do much to dispel the heavy atmosphere around the campfire.
The only upside was that the Hendricksons were so wrapped up in their own problems that they showed zero interest in the full to bursting wagon, so she didn't have to lie about or deflect attention from its contents; she wasn't sure she could, at the moment, even if she agreed with the mountain man's reasoning for keeping it a secret.
Watching the sunset with Tom after dinner was subdued, almost melancholy. They both knew for sure now that they'd be taking the baby, and while they spent a long time holding each other in mutual comfort, few words were exchanged and the silence was still strained.
“Thank you,” Kristy said when she kissed him goodnight before they returned to camp. It was just a brief peck, a tentative prelude to the intimacy she hoped they'd build back up to, but she savored it all the same; it was the first they'd shared since the fight.
He raised an eyebrow. “Nobody's ever accused me of being a good enough kisser to warrant thanks.”
She slapped his arm, laughing easily and glad to find they could still share moments like this. Then she sobered. “I mean for being willing to do this. For me, and Vicky, and for the child. I know it's not what you want, but it means a lot to me that you're willing to do it anyway.”
Tom sobered as well. “I love you, Kristy,” he said quietly. “If we make this baby ours, I'll love it, too.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she leaned in and gave him another, more lingering kiss.
The next morning, she climbed out of her tent rubbing the sleep from her eyes to find the Hendricksons already up and taking down their tent, and her son ready to go and poking at the fire. “Trapper said he had one last errand to run while we're in the area,” he told her. “He should be back before noon, although if we want we can get on the road and he'll catch up to us. He pointed Uncle Bob to a safe, less traveled route we can take.”
Kristy was struck by two things at once: first, and far less importantly, that Tom barely knew this area. Had he found the route while scouting on the way here, or sometime yesterday or last night?
Second, and much more importantly, that the man hadn't bothered to mention any errand to her last night, or wake her up to let her know what he planned before he left. What errand could he even have up here, anyway? Again, he didn't know this area or anyone living here.
For a brief moment, she had a horrible thought that maybe Tom didn't actually have an errand. That a night of facing the reality of raising someone else's unwanted child, of trying to start a marriage under that strain, had spooked him enough to make him bolt for the hills. His tent was already put away, and his pack was nowhere to be seen.
But she already knew the mountain man never went anywhere without his pack. Also, she'd already had this scare about him leaving her in Grand Junction. It had been ludicrous then, and it was ludicrous now. Tom had some errand and he was coming back, she was sure of it.
She was.
“Well, if he wants to catch up I say we get going,” Kristy said firmly. “Put some miles behind us so we get home sooner.”
They ate a hasty breakfast of dried meat and trail biscuits, finished striking camp, then Kristy helped Bob and Skyler get the horses hitched to the wagon. She hopped on the seat to drive, Vicky seated beside her, while the kids walked next to the wagon near where the mule was tied to follow. In the lead, Bob scouted ahead and guided the way on the path Tom had pointed him to.
The trip was a quiet one, to begin with. The kids were subdued, still waking up and focused on putting one foot in front of the other, and Vicky had withdrawn into herself. After a half hour or so Kristy started trying to think up things to talk to her friend about, but before she could the petite woman took a deep breath and shifted on the wagon seat to face her.
“Bob and I had a long talk, and we've decided not to get rid of the baby,” she said, dark eyes pained but full of resolve.
Kristy stared at her blankly. “You, um, told me that yesterday. That you're going to stop trying to find a doctor and have the baby. And then I told you Tom agreed to help me raise it.”
Her friend gave her a fierce look. “No, I mean we're going to keep it. Try to raise it as best we can.”
Confusion turned to shock. “Vicky, no! We both know how difficult that would be for you.”
The petite woman's shoulders straightened determinedly. “Maybe so, but it's my burden to bear. Passing it on to you wouldn't be right.”
Kristy took her hand and clutched it tight. “I want to do this. It's fine.”
“No, it's not!” Vicky snapped. “It's threatening to tear your relationship with Tom apart, Kris! I couldn't live with that.”
“Tom's agreed to help me raise the baby,” she protested. “Things are fine between us now. Weren't you listening?”
“I was, now will you please listen?” her friend demanded. Surprised, Kristy sat back slightly, then nodded. The petite woman took a deep breath. “Tom's already done more for us than I have any right to ask. My family would still be in hell if not for him, and then he helped us start a new life with you guys up in the mountains. One I think might actually have some hope.”
She squeezed Kristy's hand, dark eyes still pained but determined. “And even if taking this baby's the last thing he wants to do, he has agreed to do it. For you, and for us. It doesn't make him a bad person just because he knows it's an awful situation and has his doubts about whether it'll work out. After all, you don't blame me for feeling that way.”
Kristy gave her a helpless look. “But-”
“After everything you've both done for us, and looking at you guys taking your tentative first steps towards a beautiful marriage . . .” Vicky's shoulders shook, tears beginning to spill from her eyes as she continued in a thick voice. “I can't do this to you, Kristy. To either of you. You actually have a hope for a good life, and mine is already ruined. Why should I make you suffer needlessly with my burden?”
She felt her own eyes flooding with tears. “I can't do this to you,” she nearly wailed. “It's not fair, Vicky. Not after everything you've already suffered. You deserve a chance to move on from it.”
“I can. I will.” Her friend wrapped her arms around her. “Like I said, Bob and I talked. Finally, really talked. It was difficult, and painful for both of us, but it was a good start. We've decided we'll do our best to raise the baby in a happy home, in a loving family. Give it the life it deserves, in spite of how it came to be.”
“I couldn't bear for you to have to go through that, when I could've helped you,” Kristy protested, although she was wavering. Did it make her a bad person, that she didn't really want this baby any more than Tom did, and felt kind of relieved at a chance to not have to take it?
Vicky rubbed her shoulder. “Kris, you're the sort of person who'd do anything for those you love. I love you to death for that.” She hesitated, then continued resolutely. “But this isn't the first time you've championed my cause at Tom's expense. If it feels incredible for me to know I have a friend who'd sacrifice anything for me, imagine how it must feel for him to suspect the opposite. Especially when he's shown he's willing to sacrifice anything for you.”
Kristy froze, wondering if that was true. If that was really the message she'd been sending Tom: that she loved him more than anything and he was the man she wanted to
spend the rest of her life with, but as it happened his welfare was also her absolute lowest priority.
How was it possible he'd been willing to stick around even after she'd treated him like that?
Her friend pulled her into another fierce hug. “You talk to him the moment he gets back, tell him how much he means to you. And you tell him that you appreciate the sacrifice he was willing to make, but it's not necessary.”
“Are you sure?” Kristy asked, staring deep into the petite woman's eyes. “Really sure?” Vicky nodded resolutely. “I'll still be there for you and the baby. No matter what.”
“I know.” Her friend gave her a last squeeze, then pulled back and changed the subject to the work that would be waiting for them once they got back to the valley. There was still a lot to do before winter, and with no more distractions in the way of long, futile trips it was time to start planning for it.
And after winter, spring, and Tom going out to buy animals for the ranch. Would they be married by then? She felt her face flushing, thinking of cold, lonely winter nights. Sooner, maybe?
Assuming, of course, the infuriating man ever got back from his unannounced “errand”.
Lunch came and went, and even though he'd said he'd be back before noon if they stayed put and waited for him, Kristy still couldn't help but begin to worry. That worry increased by the hour, until they were closer to dinner than lunch. Even Vicky, trying to be optimistic for her sake, began showing signs of concern, and Bob announced that they were nearly beyond the point where Tom had given him directions for where to go next.
They were just about to stop and discuss a route, although “follow the only flat terrain in between all these cliffs and steep slopes” seemed like the clear choice to Kristy, when of all things she heard the bleating of goats on the trail behind her.
She quickly turned, but there was nothing to see for almost half a minute as the sound gradually grew louder. Then, coming into view around a bend, came Tom leading two brown and white goats on tethers, while two snow-white kids pranced around his feet as if determined to trip him.
Mountain Man (Book 2): Homecoming Page 14