He did not want their deaths to stain your soul.
Get out of my head, Alena.
I am your twin. I will always share your thoughts.
Now is not a good time. How is Laurel?
She is doing her best, which is all we can ask.
Take care of her.
Only until I can return her to your care. Anton felt his sister release their link and sighed. Was he destined to alienate his whole family?
Looking around, Anton removed his pants and boots and placed them in one of the many boxes available on pack land for this purpose. He rolled his stiff shoulders and then reached for the change. There was no need to stop this time. His bones moved and changed, his face elongated, fur rippled out of his skin and rainbow lights coalesced around him. Where a man once stood, a large silver-and-gray wolf appeared out of the light. Sniffing the air, Anton turned. Swim or food first?
As a wolf there was no regret or guilt. There was only the need for a full stomach and the freedom to be. His wolf form broke into a trot and headed for the high meadow. Hunting rabbit would fill his empty stomach. He’d worry about the rest of it later.
§
Laurel felt heat roll through her stomach as sweat poured from her pores. As her stomach heaved, she ran to the toilet and lost the fruit she had eaten for dinner. Tears ran down her face. She felt awful. What had they done to her? All she wanted to do was sleep. But her body ached, and her stomach hurt too much.
“Oh, Laurel. Here, honey, rinse your mouth and let us get you to bed. You will feel better after we get you some more tea,” Alena said, kneeling beside her.
“No more tea. God, I feel awful.” Were they trying to poison her?
From down the hall, an angry male voice could be heard. Laurel realized at once that it was Anton. He was demanding to see her. She didn’t want him to see her like this. But part of her wanted him to come in and save her. Hold her close and make her feel better.
The door slammed, and Laurel felt a fresh wave of tears start. He wasn’t coming.
“Stop it, Laurel. If you keep feeling like that, nothing will keep Anton from coming in. He is trying to do the right thing by staying away.”
“He doesn’t want me.” He hadn’t saved her. She was sick. He left her.
“Listen, do you hear that wolf howling?” Alena insisted. “That is Anton. He is grieving for you. Do not think he does not want to be with you or take you away from here. If our mother was not manning the front door, you would already be gone, and we would not be able to help you. Now come on. You will feel better in the morning, and we will begin your lessons.”
Alena helped Laurel up and led her back to the bedroom. Tucking her into bed, Alena kissed her forehead.
“Goodnight, little sister. Sleep now, it is going to be okay.”
Laurel closed her eyes, but how could she sleep? A lone wolf howled, calling to its mate. Laurel knew in her heart that Anton missed her, was calling to her. She could feel his sadness as if it was her own. Had she made the right decision? Was this really going to help her seduce Anton? Did she really need to be healed? Laurel reached for Anton’s mind. They touched and connected. Laurel could almost see out of his wolf eyes. A warmth of love swept over her, helping her relax. She felt her muscles loosen, and her mind, still held by Anton’s, fell sound asleep.
Laurel didn’t feel the wolf getting closer. She didn’t know that he had found her window, and sighing, lay down beneath it.
§
Still connected to Laurel’s mind, Anton settled down under her window. He had already placed her mother’s brush and the note he wrote to her on the windowsill. Hopefully, she would find it in the morning.
Tonight, he was going to try to connect to her in a dream state. Laurel had already fallen asleep. He missed her so much. If they could connect in a dream, it might calm his wolf, and he would be able to control some of his rage at not being with her. His human side understood, but his wolf side was insistent about needing her.
Closing his eyes Anton let himself drift . . .
Laurel saw the mists part, but it wasn’t her mother that walked into the meadow, it was Anton. He looked at her so intensely, as he walked forward, that Laurel squirmed, her heart suddenly racing. His hair hung loosely around his shoulders and his chest was bare, showing off his suntanned skin and abs. Laurel couldn't help but stare in approval. His jeans hugged his hips, and Laurel could clearly see the bulge, indicating his arousal.
She looked around and found herself sitting on a blanket under a moonlit sky. Anton knelt beside her, his eyes tenderly asking her permission as he reached for her. His lips slowly lowered to hers as his eyes watched her reaction. She lifted her face to meet him, and then he was coaxing and teasing her lips with his kisses.
This was a dream. Why was she dreaming about Anton kissing her?
Please, lyubov moya, let me make love to you. Even if it is only a dream. Let me touch you.
Laurel heard Anton’s voice floating in her head. It was only a dream. Could she make love to Anton in her dreams? She felt his fingers caress her breast and realized they were now both naked. Somewhere in her logical thoughts she knew she slept in the borrowed pajamas Alena gave her. But the feeling of him kneading her nipple between his fingers caused her to gasp.
Anton deepened their kiss, invading her mouth with his tongue. She felt him merge their minds together, until his pleasure at feeling her skin flooded her thoughts. The spike of lust he felt when he kissed her, roared through her body, becoming her lust as an ache started between her thighs. His lips traveled from her mouth to her neck, nipping and kissing, leaving her skin tingling. The sensation shocked her, and she whimpered. Then, moving lower, Anton sucked her nipple into his mouth.
It felt so good, and Laurel wasn’t sure which one of them thought so, or maybe they both did. She clenched her thighs together, trying to ease the ache that increased with each pull of Anton’s mouth at her breast. When he stopped, she moaned in disappointment, but then he took her other nipple into his mouth, and her desire flooded back. Her pleasure and his mingled and grew, feeding off each other.
Laurel trembled with excitement. She needed. What she didn’t know. But she felt herself becoming wet between her thighs. Anton continued to suck her breast, but now his hand drifted lower into the auburn curls between her legs. He found moisture there and swirled his finger through her fold. Laurel cried out, her body trembling harder. Her skin felt so hot, and she pushed her hips up into Anton’s caressing fingers. More, she needed more.
Anton pushed his finger deeper into her, then withdrew and swirled his fingers around her clit. Laurel felt something rising. A wave of need overcame any remaining shyness. She pushed her hips up into Anton’s hand. Her breath came in little pants, and her head thrashed from side to side.
More, please, more, she begged. She felt Anton’s amusement. But he pressed harder against her clit, swirling his fingers around and then pressing the nub between his finger and thumb.
Anton stopped sucking her breast and turned his attention to her lips, licking and sucking the bottom lip into his mouth. Laurel felt herself on the edge. Just one little push, and she could reach the end of her journey. She wasn’t sure where that might take her, but she reached for it greedily.
Then, he kissed her neck, licking at the spot where her shoulder and neck met. Laurel rolled her head to the side giving him better access. Anton continued to torment her with his fingers on her clit, then pressing them deeper inside her. Laurel thought she was going to break apart if she trembled much harder.
Then, he bit her shoulder. Laurel felt his satisfaction at marking her as his mate mingle with the pleasure and a little bit of pain from the bite. Dark spots appeared before her eyes as Laurel flew apart in climax. Anton caught her cries with his mouth, drinking her ecstasy down and sharing her breath. Then everything went dark.
§
Morning light refused to be ignored as it fell across Anton’s nose and seeped into his sleepy wolf eyes. He had s
pent the night under Laurel’s window, loving her and sending reassurance through the mating bond. The bond glowed brighter between them, but still wasn’t as large or as open as it would be after it was physically cemented into place. He stood up and stretched and shook his shaggy coat. If only he had insisted on seeing her last night. But his mother went on about soul fragment retrieval and healing Laurel so she could commit to a healthy relationship.
Sharing the dream state had worked. He had merged completely with Laurel, and she had accepted his touch. More, she reveled in it and gave him all of her sensuality in return. She had climaxed, taking them both into a heightened state, before everything disappeared into blackness. Was she alright?
He touched her mind. Laurel slept peacefully. Nothing troubled her. He sat down, unable to leave her. Already, his body wanted her again. But in reality he didn’t really have her. It was still a dream.
“Oh, Anton. Is this where you’ve been all night?” Violet’s voice sounded from the side of the house. She walked over and sat down beside him, draping her arm around his neck and giving him a scratch behind the ear. He leaned into her hand, liking the attention.
“I know this is hard on you, but your mother says it is Laurel’s best chance to be healed from the abuse. I’m not sure how this all works, but I know your mother has Laurel’s best interests in mind.”
Anton leaned over and licked her cheek. Violet gave him a squeeze in thanks.
“You were there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I want you to know that I am here for you. If you want to talk, I’m right here.”
Anton lay down and put his head in Violet’s lap. She lightly petted his head, and he closed his eyes. What could he say? He didn’t know where he belonged anymore. What should he do? He didn’t want to move out of the lodge, but maybe it would be best. He didn’t want to fight Kolya for the Beta position. But he wasn’t sure he could accept Kolya’s dominance. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted Laurel at his side. He needed her.
“Anton? There you are, son. I thought I would help you chop some wood today. This old body could use a little exercise.”
Anton looked up to see his father Vikenti. He knew his father wouldn’t leave, so he slowly rose to his feet, his head and tail down in sorrow. Violet quickly scrambled to her feet.
“Make sure he comes home for dinner, Dad. He needs to keep up his strength, for Laurel if not for himself,” Violet scolded as she patted Anton on the head and walked around the building to the front door.
“Come on, son. You will feel better after we get some wood chopped.”
Anton dutifully followed his father into the woods.
§
Laurel pushed her straggly hair out of her eyes and dragged her sleepy body out of bed. Anton’s brief mind-touch had brushed against her consciousness, and then he was gone. Tears came to her eyes. She missed him. Without being able to see him or have him close to her, she felt empty. She wandered down the hall and into the kitchen. Alena smiled and stood up to give her a hug as she walked into the room.
“There you are, sleepy head. Sit down and I will get you some tea and fruit.” Tea and fruit? Was that all they were going to allow her to eat for the next week? Feeling out of sorts, Laurel plopped down on the chair.
Hearing the front door open, Laurel perked up. Could it be Anton? Was he finally coming to get her?
“Alena?” Violet’s voice sounded from down the hall.
“In the kitchen,” Alena answered.
Violet walked in with a cheery smile. She immediately went over and gave Laurel a hug. That everyone was so touchy-feely made Laurel uncomfortable. It seemed as if Violet knew what Laurel was thinking, because she chuckled and sat down.
“You’re not much of a morning person, are you?” Violet asked. “I saw your mate outside. He’s missing you pretty badly. Did you know he slept under your window last night? The man is definitely smitten.”
At the mention of Anton’s name, Laurel whipped around to stare at Violet. “He slept under my window?”
“Well, yeah. You were sick, and he couldn’t leave you alone. You’ll find lycans are the most loyal of mates. Sure they get kind of possessive and bossy, but they love deeper than most. You’ll always know Anton loves you. He won’t let you forget it.”
Anton slept under her window. He didn’t leave her. Laurel felt her heart grow warm. Then, she remembered the dream she’d had. Was it a shared dream or just her longing for Anton? She felt her face flush. Was she breaking the rules by talking to Anton in her dream? Of course, they didn’t really say much. But if seducing Anton would bring her that kind of pleasure, she was definitely all for it. He had sent reassurance to her throughout the night. He was wonderful. She didn’t care if he was bossy. She was glad he belonged to her.
“You need to eat and then get dressed,” Violet said. “I’m here to give you a little exercise and teach you some self-defense moves. My boyfriend, before I met Dmitry, took a punch at me when I found him in bed with another woman. I decided right then I was going to learn self-defense so the next time someone took a swing at me, I could return the favor. Don’t eat too much. I don’t want you getting sick on me.”
“Self-defense moves? But I thought we were going to talk about sex.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get to that,” Violet said. “This will give you some confidence and get you in touch with your body and how it feels. It’ll be good for you.”
Alena brought over a cup of tea and a bowl of berries. Laurel sighed and took a sip of tea before she ate a spoonful of the berries. The way it was going, she was going to die of starvation. She’d never get to seduce Anton. Everyone wanted her to do what was good for her. Maybe she didn’t want to be good. Sighing, Laurel admitted that wasn’t true. She did want to do what was right for her and Anton.
After hurrying through breakfast, Laurel went back to her bedroom and looked out the window. On the sill was her mother’s silver hairbrush with a piece of paper wrapped around the handle. She quickly opened the window and reached for her brush. Closing the window, she walked over and sat on the bed to unwrap the note. In Anton’s handwriting, it said: My dearest one, I long for the sweet sound of your voice. The softness of your skin against mine. I am forever yours, Anton.
“Who is seducing who?” Laurel asked.
An hour later, Laurel plopped down on her bed and let out a groan. The morning exercise routine might be good for her, but she was tired and sore.
“Eyes, Throat, Groin,” she repeated out loud and in her head. Violet made her try to visualize the self-defense moves in her mind.
Violet suggested she needed to get in touch with her body. Laurel felt every achy muscle. She knew she was feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn’t stop emotions from overwhelming her. She missed Anton so much. If he was here, he would hold her and comfort her.
She closed her eyes and reached for his thoughts. Anton’s mind linked with hers almost immediately. He was chopping wood. She could see out of his eyes and hear out of his ears. His hearing was very acute. Laurel knew he was hearing more than she possibly could. Someone else was chopping wood with Anton. She caught the brief flash of affection that he felt for . . . his father. That was who chopped wood with Anton.
A wave of triumph swamped her, followed by one of pride. Anton was very much aware of her shadowing his mind, and it was his pride in her she felt. But the emotion of triumph was all hers. Knowing they weren’t supposed to speak to each other, Laurel reluctantly withdrew. For an instant, she felt fingers caress her face, and then she was back in her own mind, alone in her room.
Sharing someone’s mind was a very intimate act. You learned to trust that the other person would love you no matter what they found in your thoughts. What did Anton see in her? Was it her healing powers that drew him? Laurel knew her thoughts were not always good. She was very angry at her stepfather and still hurt over her mother’s death. Some of her thoughts were self-pity and others were violent.
> “Laurel, are you alright? Alena asked, walking into Laurel’s room. “Anton contacted me and said you were distressed. What are you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about my linking with Anton, how sometimes my thoughts are not good.”
“Everyone has thoughts like that. None of us is perfect. We get angry, frustrated and sad, like everyone else. It is knowing that your mate has a good heart that allows intimacy without judgment. Does that clear things up for you?”
“So, if you were very angry at Kolya, and he linked with you, how would he feel?”
“First, he would know that I love him. Then, he would try to correct the problem that caused the anger. If he could not do that, he would comfort me and help me deal with the anger I am feeling.”
“It seems too good to be true.”
“When you feel what your mate is feeling, you have an easier time understanding each other. Sometimes feelings get hurt. Lycans still get upset with their mates, just like humans. They are over-protective and like to think they know what is best. Yes, even the females. Our way is not perfect, just different. Now come on, it is time for more tea.”
“Uugh, more tea? I feel like you’re drowning me in it.”
§
Anton looked over at his father as he put the last log on the stack. His father had been a good Alpha to the pack. Should he ask him for advice on what to do?
“Sometimes you remind me so much of my younger brother, Jasha,” his father said, sighing. “He was like you, loyal and true, an Alpha, but without the zeal to rule. He left a year after I took the Alpha position from our father. Like you, he could not figure out where he fit in the hierarchy of the pack. He was so much more than a lieutenant, but did not want to be the Alpha or take the Beta position from Kolya’s father. I do not want to lose you, son.”
“What happened to him? You never speak of him.”
“I was hurt that he would abandon me and the pack,” Vikenti said. “Then, I mated your mother and started having children. It was easy to forget that he was out there somewhere. But about seven years after he left, I received a letter. It was right after you were born. It did not say much, only that he booked passage to America on a ship out of Liverpool. When Grigori found the pack in London, I hoped he might find Jasha. But there was no mention of him ever being a member of the English pack. I do not know what happened to him or whether the ship made it to America. He would probably have a family of his own by now, if he found a mate, that is.”
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