I took a deep breath in through my nose to steady my nerves. After lifting Kael’s heavy cloak from his body, I slid my hands beneath his shirt. His skin was smooth and hot, and my fingertips played along the ridges of his abs. I swallowed hard and stared down at him. His fever must be catching because I’d never been hotter in my life.
But now was not the time to get carried away by how strong and muscular his body felt beneath my hands. I closed my eyes and focused on the fever radiating off of his body. I had no idea how Liam had healed me, but I mimicked what I’d seen him do. He’d touched my skin and closed his eyes. Within moments, the pain had gone.
Heal, I thought, directing all my thoughts and emotions to Kael’s slack body. Fight off the fever. You can do it, Kael.
A strange sensation began to pool around my hands. Fire and light. The scent of frost fell away, replaced by a rush of wildflowers and summer rain. My entire body began to tremble, as if an unseen violent force was charging through me. Head spinning, I squeezed my eyes tighter, not certain if I should welcome the sensation or push it away.
But this was Kael’s life. He’d put himself in danger to help me save Bree. So, I dropped back my head and opened myself up to the strange power that was taking over my body.
Pain exploded around my fingers, sharp and deep and raw.
And then it all vanished into nothing as unconsciousness consumed me.
A soft hand caressed my cheek, and the sharp, tangy scent of mint filled my nose. Groaning, I opened my eyes to find Kael leaning over me, his face blotting out the full moon in the sky. His eyes were pits of black, but the expression on his face was much softer than I’d ever seen from him before.
My heart twinged.
“Thank the forest,” he said as he continued to brush my cheek with his thumb. Shivers danced along my skin. “For a moment there, I was worried you weren’t coming back to me.”
“I don’t feel so great.” My mouth felt as dry as the desert, and some kind of evil jackhammer was drilling into my skull. Even my vision was dizzy. Kael wasn’t just Kael. I swore there were four of him bouncing around in front of me. Not really a bad thing though. It was a pretty nice sight.
I reached back to rub my neck, and my fingers came into contact with a leg. Kael’s leg. I blinked, heartbeat flickering. It seemed my head was in his lap.
Oh my god. My head was in the gorgeous Winter fae’s lap.
“You’ll feel rough for a few hours,” he said with a tenderness in his voice. “You tried to heal me without understanding how the power works. It can knock out even the most experienced fae, and this was your first time doing it.”
“And it worked,” I said, realizing just how alive and well Kael was. In fact, the tables had turned. I was now the one flat on my ass. “You’re okay? The fever is gone?”
At that, Kael’s face clouded back over, transforming to his usual stoic expression. His jaw clenched, and the thumb caressing my cheek ceased to move. “Yes, the fever is gone. I suppose you have some questions, and you no doubt are thrilled to discover you’re not a Winter fae now that you know the truth about me.”
“Come on. That’s not fair,” I said with a frown. “Don’t assume I’m going to judge you just because you’re a...well, what are you, Kael? Because you certainly don’t look like a Redcap to me.”
“I’m not a Redcap. Not truly.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Two years ago, I was infected when I was fighting against a group of Redcaps who had gone on a killing spree in Boston. They needed to be stopped, and I thought I could be the one to stop them. Instead, I got bitten.”
Chills swept down my spine, but I kept my mouth shut. Kael seemed hesitant enough to tell his story. I didn’t want to interrupt him with questions, for fear he’d change his mind about sharing this part of himself.
“Because I was already fae, my body was able to withstand the venom to a point, though I regret every single day that I didn’t go straight in search of some Starlight.” He curled his hands into fists and shook his head, jaw clenching tight. “The beast does not control me. I control it. But it is still inside of me, and every so often, my body must change into that creature or I’ll go mad. That day on the cliff…I thought I had it under control. I was just trying to scare you into action. But instead…I’m so sorry, Norah. I’ll never forgive myself for biting you.”
A deep silence rained down upon us while I processed his words. After the fever, I’d had a hunch that it was something like this, though the pain in his voice was worse than I’d expected. He hated what he’d become, so much so that he let it control him. He didn’t want anyone to get close to him, for fear they’d find out the truth and push him away.
All this time I’d been angry at him, convinced he’d left me for dead. But he’d been the one I’d faced off against. He’d thought he had the beast under control, but he hadn’t.
“Is that why you think that no one would want to have you as a mate?” I finally asked.
His jaw rippled as he nodded. “No one wants a beast. I never planned to come to the Academy, but I had no other choice. My father forced me to come here. The only way I can inherit his lands is to bring home a changeling mate. Otherwise, I’m homeless and penniless. No Winter fae can survive without both. It is far too harsh and cold here.”
I peered up at him, suddenly desperate to press my palm against his cheek. There was so much pain and anger in his voice. He was not the monster I’d thought he was. He was anything but.
“Well, I’ll tell you what. Your father sounds about as terrible as my step-dad.”
Kael arched an eyebrow. “That’s what your focusing on? Not the fact I’m one of those monsters you hate and fear?”
With a soft smile, I reached up and touched his face. His skin was no longer on fire, but he felt just as strong and as real as ever. “You’re not a monster, Kael. In fact, you’re pretty much the opposite.”
He caught my hand in his and pressed it tighter to his cheek, but then, his eyes darkened. “You’re only saying that because you now know that you’re not a Winter fae. If you were able to heal me the way you did, then it’s impossible. You’ll belong to Liam, the opposite of all that I am.”
Confusion rippled through me. Not about my nature. I’d had the same questions. Did this make me a Summer fae? But what did that mean about my ability to shift? Disappointment and happiness were mixed together as one. I didn’t know what was up and what was down.
“Liam’s not so bad,” I finally said, though the words didn’t seem strong enough to convey exactly how I felt. “But...you’re not so bad either.”
He lifted his eyebrows. “Faint praise.”
“I don’t think I know how to explain how I feel.” I glanced at where our hands were still interlocked, and I sighed. “To be honest, I’m confused. One minute, I think I want to be a Summer fae. The next minute, I want to be a Winter, especially when I realize that Winter fae are not as cold and unfeeling as they want everyone to think.”
“I could kiss you right now,” he said in a rough voice, his fingers tightening around mine. “No one has ever accepted me for what I am. And yet here you are...and I can never have you. One of the other changelings is my mate, but I can’t imagine any of them by my side.”
My heart thundered hard. I wanted him to kiss me, too. My hands were even shaking at the thought of it. “Maybe the healing thing was a fluke. Maybe we’ll find out I really am a Winter fae.”
“And do you want to be a Winter fae, Norah?” His eyes glittered in the darkness of the cave. “Do you want to be mine?”
Yes and no, I thought. I wanted to be his, and I wanted to be Liam’s, but I didn’t dare voice that thought aloud. Instead, I merely gave him a soft smile. “Yes.”
With a growl, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me fiercely. His lips were hot on my skin, even without the fever. I moaned as his tongue speared my mouth, tense desperation churning between us. I laced my hands behind his neck, and my back arched instinctively. Need pulsed betw
een my thighs.
His kiss deepening, he palmed my ass and pulled me closer. My legs spread on either side of his hips so that I straddled him. Between us, I felt the unmistakable hardening of his length, even through both my pants and his.
“Let me thank you for what you’ve done for me,” he murmured against my lips.
I gasped, pulling back to stare into his eyes, my heart thumping so hard that it almost shook my entire body. “Thank me how?”
A dangerous smile curved his lips. “Lie back.”
My heart squeezed tight. “I thought you cared about the rules.”
“I do care about the rules.” His gaze darkened; his thumb caressed the back of my neck. “I will not mate with you, Norah. But there are other things I can do. Lie back.”
I wet my lips. I had no idea what had gotten into Kael, but my need for him was so great that I did not dare stop him. With trembling lungs, I slid off his lap and leaned back onto the chilly dirt floor of the cave. Instantly, he was above me, gazing down at me with a look of adoration that made my heart quake. His dark hair fell into his eyes as he smiled.
His lips found mine once again before they trailed down my throat. Sparks danced along my skin as his kisses went lower. He lifted my shirt and kissed my stomach, taking his time to draw his tongue above the band of my trousers. I trembled as desire coiled.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered against my skin as he slowly tugged my pants down my thighs, and then tossed them into the corner of the cave.
I trembled as the wintry breeze caressed my bare skin.
I couldn’t believe that I was naked in a cave with Kael.
His mouth dropped onto my stomach once again, and my back arched as a new wave of desire stormed through me. Wetness pooled between my thighs as his tongue danced lower and lower down my body. My breath was heaving; my fingers were curled into the dirt. I could barely lie still, nor could I hear anything but the heavy thudding of my heart.
Suddenly, his hands gripped my thighs, and his fingers dug deep into my skin, as if he were claiming me. Need ripped through me, and I moaned, opening myself up to him, desperate for something more than his tongue on my belly. I needed him to do something and soon or else I might shatter beneath the weight of the ache.
But he did not take me there yet. He dragged his tongue up my stomach and then curled his tongue around my swollen nipple. My body bucked beneath his kiss. Stars danced in my eyes. His lips tugged against my nipple, teasing, sucking, driving me further toward the edge of a cliff I was desperate to leap right off of.
My fingernails jammed deeper into the dirt as his mouth moved to my other breast. His tongue drove me wild. I was an aching mess beneath him.
“Kael, please,” I panted, spreading my thighs, so needy for him that I swore I’d painted the ground beneath me.
With a curving smile, he edged down my body. He lowered himself between my thighs and gazed up at me. Slowly, with his eyes locked on mine, he dragged his tongue across my aching core. I bucked beneath him as exquisite pleasure shot through me. His tongue slipped against me once more, and I cried out, my voice echoing through the silent cave.
Kael pulled back and licked his lips, smiling. “You taste like berries.”
And then he dove between my thighs once more with such a feverish energy that it made my body quake. His tongue lapped against my core, sending wave after wave of pleasure storming over me. I couldn’t think. I could barely even breathe. My core tightened beneath his mouth, and then a delicious rip went through me, as if glass shards surrounding my need exploded all at once. My body spasmed, throbbed. And then a delicious sense of bliss warmed my limbs.
With a shuddering sigh, I gazed down at him. He stared up at me, his mouth still only inches from my skin.
“Enjoy that?” he asked, looking a bit smug.
“What do you think?” I asked in a whisper.
Smiling, he leaned over me and dropped one last hot kiss on my mouth. “Thank you for saving my life.”
“I mean, I’ll happily save your life again if it means you’ll do that.”
His smile dimmed, and he brushed my hair away from my face. “If only you were my mate, I would do that every night for the rest of our lives.”
My heart pounded as I gazed up at him. I was so screwed. I was never going to be able to figure out what I wanted.
How could I ever choose?
Chapter Nineteen
When we returned to the Academy, Finn, Liam, and Rourke were waiting for us in the library. They looked...disgruntled, to say the least. Arms were crossed over chests, frowns were pulling down lips. They really had the whole disapproving teacher look down pat. I wondered how long they’d been standing here like this.
I also couldn’t help but wonder if they could tell what had happened between Kael and I in the cave. And how they would react if they found out.
“Honestly, Kael.” Rourke was the first to speak when we shifted back. “I could believe it of Liam, but you? You’ve got better sense than to take Norah away from here when a bunch of Redcaps have been stalking around just waiting for a chance to attack.”
“She was fine,” Kael said in a curt tone of voice. “We were far enough away from the Academy that Redcaps weren’t an issue.”
Redcaps weren’t an issue, but…
Liam’s face was lined in a scowl, and his bonfire eyes scanned me from head to toe, missing nothing. “Then, why is she ten shades paler than normal? Why is she shaking? What the hell have you done to her?”
Finn was by my side within an instant, sliding his arms around me before I went splat onto the floor. Because Liam was right. I was suddenly nauseous and dizzy, and I felt as though I could barely stand.
Finn huffed as I leaned heavily against him. “Look, Kael. I know she’s probably your mate and all, but you can’t do stuff like this.”
“She’s not my mate,” Kael said softly, painfully.
“What?” Rourke frowned. “Are you finally conceding that shifting doesn’t belong to you and you alone? I keep telling you she’s an Autumn fae, and not Winter, but—”
“She’s not yours either.” Kael lifted a finger, pointing it straight at Liam. “She’s his.”
Every head in the room turned toward Liam, whose frown had morphed into an arrogant grin. He crossed his arms over his chest and shot me a wink. Even though I hated the direction this conversation was headed, my cheeks flamed anyway. It was annoying how easily the Summer fae could make me blush, especially since it did nothing but feed his massive ego.
“I knew she wasn’t a cold season,” he said. “You’ve been so stuck on the fact she shifted when she was terrified, but I always thought her fear had more to do with it than anything else.”
“Now, wait a minute,” Finn said, directing his attention toward Kael. “Why do you suddenly think she’s a Summer fae?”
“I had a little run-in with a Breking in the mountains,” Kael said, his lips pressed tight together. “She wasn’t able to shift us back, but she did heal me. That must be why she’s so weak.”
Liam gave me a wide grin. “Good going, darling.”
“Spring fae are sometimes able to heal as well,” Finn argued. “It isn’t a gift that is solely the realm of Summers. My second cousin can heal others.”
Rourke frowned. “Again, she was most likely afraid in that scenario. I don’t think we can accurately call her a Summer fae until she’s been at the Academy longer.”
“I agree. She’s clearly Spring.”
“Guys,” I said, holding up my hands and twisting my way out of Finn’s warm embrace, despite how nice his arms felt around me. “Please stop. You’re all giving me a headache in addition to the headache I already have from the healing thing I did.”
The four of them fell silent and stared at me. I shifted on my feet. It was a little unnerving to have their undivided attention like this, but a part of me kind of liked it, as much as I hated to admit it. They were arguing over which Court I belonged to...w
hich meant every single one of them must have felt the same connections I did.
Why did it have to be just one of them in the end?
“I’m tired,” I finally said. “I’m going to go get some rest.”
They all started talking over each other, arguing about who would escort me back to my room. With a roll of my eyes, I held up my hand again. “I can make it to my room by myself.”
They didn’t argue, but they did follow me out into the hallway to watch me walk away. And now that I had my back turned to them, I could let the massive smile widen across my face. Now this...this I could get used to.
As soon as the sun broke through the morning clouds, I slid out of my bedroom window and whispered across the lawn. I’d donned an Autumn golden cloak, and I managed to clamber onto the horse Liam and I had taken when we’d visited Esari. I needed to find Bree, give her the flower, and return to the Academy before anyone noticed I was gone.
It was strange going alone. While I’d spent most of my life in the presence of my own company, Otherworld Academy had been different. There was always someone around, except during the long stretches on Watch Duty. At first, I found it unnerving, but I’d grown used to the bustle of activity and the changelings who were beginning to feel like friends.
When I reached the edge of the Autumn woods, I slowed the horse and dropped to the ground. I’d told Bree to hide out somewhere nearby, but it was impossible to know exactly where she’d gone. I’d just have to explore every inch of the edge of the woods until I found her.
After at least two hours of walking, the crack of a branch sounded from behind me. I whirled on my feet, expecting to see Bree’s relieved face under her mess of dark hair. Instead, several gold-cloaked fae stood before me, aiming arrows at my throat.
“Who are you and why are you here?” A silver-haired fae strode forward from the group, his golden eyes glittering like stars.
A Dance With Darkness (2020 Ed) Page 17