by R. E. Butler
“We haven’t been in the same bed together since we were kids,” James said, resting on one elbow and looking down at Rue. Her pure white hair was so lovely. He pulled a lock from her shoulder and wrapped it around two fingers. It was soft like silk. Her natural scent was sweet and reminded him of honeysuckle. His cock decided that it liked the way she looked and smelled, too, and rose uncomfortably hard. Letting out a soft groan, James willed his body to ignore the tempting sweetness of their mate and let her rest. Even though his body was tight with want for her, pushing the physical boundaries of their relationship would do nothing to draw her emotionally close to them. They needed to conquer her heart first, before they could indulge in lovemaking.
John’s voice was whispered when he spoke. “You’re thinking we keep our hands off her until we’ve won her over and she’s not going to leave?”
James nodded.
John let out a soft growl, and Rue sighed and rolled to her side, tucking her head against John’s shoulder. James raised a brow at his brother who shrugged and then rested a hand on her shoulder. James put his hand on her hip and scooted close enough to wedge her comfortably between them. Some day he would know what it was like to sink his hard length inside her and hear the sounds of her pleasure, but not tonight and not anytime in the near future as far as he was concerned.
James had often wondered at the pride members who shared a mate. There was occasional jealousy between the males, but in general the mating groups all seemed to be able to share their mate easily. He would rather that Rue was curled into him than John, but he didn’t have the urge to shove his brother off the bed and take Rue for his own. His cat purred in agreement. Sharing their mate meant she would be doubly loved and protected.
Closing his eyes, James inhaled the sweet scent of her, pressed a kiss to her neck, and settled back, letting sleep carry him away.
Chapter 12
Rue woke up slowly, feeling warm, and for the first time in as many years as she could count…safe. The events of the previous day rolled through her mind like a video — her discovery by the two lions, Dom’s kidnapping and torture, Gerarli’s death, and Henry’s ability to save Dom. She realized she was not sitting next to Dom as he slept, but instead was tucked between the two mountain lions who had claimed her as their mate.
A shared mate. Was that even possible? Could two men share a woman without going insane from jealousy? She pushed the thought aside, since it didn’t really matter. They’d marked her neck and shared some intense kisses, but that didn’t mean she was just going to give up her plans. Nothing had changed while she slept aside from the sun moving in the sky. She still wasn’t going to stay in Ashland with James and John, no matter how much her cat was purring in earnest for her to open her arms and heart to them.
The last time she’d trusted someone, she was almost killed. The night before, instead of rushing to the clearing as soon as possible, she let the males distract her for hours while Dom was being tortured. His wounds were her fault; the whole damn situation was her fault. She should have just ignored his urging for her to see her clan once more before they headed north. She’d spent the better part of her life expecting the worst in life, and the one time she took a chance with someone finding out her secret, she’d nearly died.
That would not fucking happen again.
No matter the promises that the warm, strong arms around her spoke, she didn’t trust that she and Dom would ever be safe as long as the clan knew their location. She wouldn’t be a sitting duck, watching over her shoulder for the rest of her life.
A fingertip traced the ridge of her brow and rubbed the space between her eyebrows lightly.
“What has you frowning, sweetheart?”
Her gaze flicked up to see John looking at her in concern.
“I want to check on Dom.”
James’ voice came from behind her. “He woke up a few hours ago. He shifted into his human form, ate four sandwiches, drank a gallon of lemonade, and then shifted into his panther form again and passed out. He’s down in the family room, taking up half the couch.”
The humor in his voice made Rue roll to her back to look at him. He wore a small smile on his lips, but his brown eyes were troubled. She found herself wanting to comfort him. To pull him against her and soothe his troubles away, but she resisted. Coddling the notion of a lasting relationship between them was not going to do anyone any good.
“I’d like to see him.”
James hummed and sat up, stretching. She looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was past six at night. John leaned over and tipped her face until she was looking at him. “How about you grab a shower, and I’ll get you something to eat. After we’ve eaten, then we’ll take you down to see him.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’d like to see him, now.”
“He’s sleeping, sweetheart,” James admonished her. “You know that he’s safe. He’s in a house full of mountain lions who will not let anyone harm him. Besides, we need to talk.”
Her lip curled in dissatisfaction. She didn’t particularly care to be told what to do by a male she hardly knew. She glanced past John to the door and wondered if she could make it out before they could get her. James shook his head silently, the seriousness of his gaze daring her to try to run for it.
She let out a short growl and pushed John’s hand away. “Fine, but I don’t have anything to wear.” Her own clothes had shredded when she shifted and she’d been wearing one of their shirts. She was glad to see she wasn’t entirely naked.
“Our sister-in-law Sam gave us some clothes for you to wear. They’re in the bathroom,” James said.
She scooted off the bed. The plush carpeting was dark blue, and she stared down at her chipped nail polish as her toes sank into the fibers. She hadn’t shaved her legs in a week. She was sure she looked like a nightmare, and they’d seen her completely lose it when she thought Dom had died. But they’d curled up against her while she slept and kept watch over her. She glanced over her shoulder at them. The two males watched her, James with a wary sort of trust, as if he wanted to believe she was really going into the shower but was prepared if she made a run for the door, and John, with sweet concern.
She’d never had anyone look at her the way they did, as if she were the most important person in the whole world to them. Sure, Dom, loved her like that, because she was his mom, but this was different. This was an instinctual claiming of their beasts. The marks on her neck were proof they didn’t care what her past was like, only that she was part of their present and future.
It was just too bad that she had no intention of staying. Losing herself in their arms was the last thing she needed to do, and she gave the horny part of her subconscious a good shake and reminded herself that she was not sticking around. Dom’s health came first, and then she and her son were in the wind. The cats would find another mate to share, someone without her baggage, someone worthy of their affection and love.
John opened his mouth, but Rue turned away and scurried to the bathroom, shutting the door harder than she meant to, and it slammed into place, causing the cups on the counter to rattle. Those two were poison, and the only antidote in her arsenal was staying out of their arms.
She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and leaned heavily on the marble counter. She was right; she did look like a nightmare. The dark circles under her eyes weren’t just from the long night of worrying over Dom; they were from a lifetime of uneasy sleep and a past that wouldn’t let her go. Gerarli was dead, though. Maybe that was why her past hadn’t haunted her while she slept. She didn’t want to think it was thanks to the two warm bodies that held her close.
It was strange to think of people seeing her white hair and not freaking out about it. The males had taken it in stride. Even her cousins hadn’t been fazed by it; they’d been more worried for her than about the clan laws she’d broken. She needed to thank Dag and Hanai before she and Dom took off. Turning her thoughts to the shower, she twisted t
he shower faucet and tested the water with her hand until it was almost too hot. Then she stripped off the borrowed dress shirt she’d worn to bed and stepped under the spray.
A small basket was attached to the white tile wall with suction cups and held a bath pouf, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. She rinsed her hair and used the shampoo, having to wash her hair twice to get it to feel clean, and then she picked up the body wash and gave it a sniff. It smelled like cocoa butter, a scent she liked, and she lathered the pouf and cleaned her body. Peering into the bottom of the basket, she found a disposable razor and decided that it was a sign that she needed to use it.
After her shower, she wrapped her hair in a towel and patted her skin dry with another towel from a nearby rack. A stack of clothes sat on the edge of the counter, and she looked through them. A short-sleeved shirt, a sports bra, and a pair of twill shorts. A package of unopened panties was underneath the clothes, along with a new toothbrush and a hairbrush with a tag still hanging off it. James said that Sam had given her clothes, but someone had clearly gone shopping for her.
Her vision blurred and she let out a sharp laugh. She couldn’t believe that new panties were making her cry. She shook off the tears, dressed in the clothes, and then tugged the towel from her head. She found a hairdryer in one drawer under the sink and dried her hair. After brushing her teeth, she cleaned up the bathroom and walked into the bedroom carrying the used shirt and the two pairs of panties left in the package.
“Thank Sam for me,” she said, lifting the panties up and then feeling like an idiot for showing them.
“You can thank her when we go downstairs after we eat. The mates and kids came home after Race came to talk to us,” James said.
“Race? Why did he come talk to you?”
James patted the bed, not answering. She stared at him. “Damn, you’re a control freak,” she muttered, joining him and John on the bed.
John snorted. “Yeah, he is. But only with people he cares about, which now includes you, Rue.”
“I am not a control freak,” James protested.
“Are too, man, but it’s a good thing. Sometimes,” John said with a laugh.
James made a face at John who seemed to think it was hilarious, because he laughed harder.
Rue’s stomach growled suddenly, and they both turned their attention to her. “Right, let’s eat and then we’ll talk,” James said.
He went to a dresser and returned with a tray. It was loaded down with a big bowl of ziti covered with sauce and melted cheese, thick slices of Italian bread slathered with butter, and a bowl of steamed green beans. Three Pepsis sat on top of plates and napkins in the corner of the tray. James set down the tray and John removed the sodas. James filled up a plate with pasta, green beans, and bread and handed it to her. She lifted a fork from the tray and crossed her legs, holding the plate with one hand and digging the fork into the pasta.
The hearty tomato sauce coated the noodles perfectly, the sweet and tangy taste exploding on her tongue. She bit back a moan of happiness, but she knew James and John heard it anyway, since they both smiled. She wanted to press them about Race, but she was enjoying the food too much to interrupt her eating. She’d never had a guy make food for her before, let alone serve it on a tray.
She eyed the males as they ate. James definitely was a control freak, but it seemed to come from a genuine place. Not just that he needed to be in control, but that he wanted everyone to be safe and taken care of, and that meant being the boss. John, on the other hand, seemed like a nurturer, with a quiet strength that she’d seen evident in the way he dealt with Henry. He’d supported Henry throughout the ordeal with Dom. She decided she liked his blue eyes. They were the color of denim and sparkled with humor and kindness. She liked James’ mouth. He had a very serious mouth, but she’d seen him smile and she liked that, but she especially liked the way his lips felt against hers.
Oh hell.
Turning her thoughts from the sort that would make her want to push them to the bed and never leave, she put her empty plate on the tray and finished her soda. James and John put their plates on the tray, and John carried it to the dresser. He rejoined them on the bed and reached for her hand. It didn’t occur to her to pull her hand away, and she wasn’t sure her cat would have let her anyway. Especially not when James picked up her other hand and she felt a connection flare to life between them again. The same way she’d felt when they’d pinned her while they were kissing, she felt a pull to them that was almost too much to ignore. Almost.
She reminded herself that she wasn’t any good for them. Her middle name was baggage.
“I’ll get right to it, because I know you want to go see Dom,” John said. “Race came with Dag and Hanai after you and James took Dom into the house. Race said that he was the rightful leader of the clan and was rescinding your banishment. He said you and Dom are spariso. Your parents and those who were involved in Dom’s kidnapping were made agunte.”
She gasped. “Agunte? He really said that word?”
John nodded. “I wasn’t sure what it meant, but Dag and Hanai approved, and Race said that no one would bother you or Dom anymore and that you could both live your lives, have kids, and do whatever you wanted, and that you were no longer their concern.”
She felt a little flicker of hope flare to life somewhere very deep inside her. Tears pricked her eyes, but she fought not to cry. “Agunte means dead. Not like they’ll be killed, but that the clan treats them as if they’ve died. It’s like a kid playing a game of ‘I can’t see or hear you’ to someone they don’t like, but panthers who are branded as agunte must live their whole lives within the clan, as the living dead. If they try to leave the clan, they’ll be killed. It’s worse than my own banishment in some ways, because there is no hope for them, no way out. Their family members are not allowed to acknowledge them, or the other clan members, and if they’re young enough to have kids, they’re taken away from them as soon as they’re born and raised by others. I’ve never known anyone who was agunte aside from one male when I was very young, and he killed himself after a week of being ignored.”
James made a growling sound. “I would have preferred to jail them and let the courts handle their punishments, but then John would have been accountable for Gerarli’s death. The clan did something to his body and the remains in the woods, at least according to our brother Aaron who went out to see if any evidence of the death and torture was there.”
John squeezed her hand. “Did you hear me, baby? Race said that you’re free. Your family is banished, the clan has already left the area, and they don’t care what you and Dom do with your lives.”
The tears she fought spilled over, and she fell against them with a sob. “I always wanted us to be free.”
James kissed her temple and rubbed her back. “You’re free now, sweetheart.”
Her life was her own, finally.
Even though she knew the spariso was binding and she and Dom would be safe here, she still planned to leave. James and John were too good to be saddled with her for the rest of their lives. She’d leave at the earliest possible opportunity. Shushing her cat, she let herself go into their hold and let out all the pent up emotions she’d held in for so many years.
It felt good to cry and lean on them, when she’d spent so long being the strong one. It was a luxury she was only going to enjoy this once, no matter how her heart longed to let down the walls she’d built around herself to keep anyone from getting close.
Chapter 13
After Rue finished crying, John and James held her a little while longer in comfortable silence. John was amazed at how right she felt in his arms and how enjoyable it had been to sleep next to her. She sighed and leaned away from them, wiping under her eyes with her fingertips and brushing away the lingering tears.
“I feel like saying thank you isn’t strong enough for how I feel about what you both did for me. You don’t know me, but you stood with me and were willing to be hurt on my behalf. I don
’t understand it, but I’m thankful for it. Thankful for both of you.”
James said, “We’re your mates, Rue. I know we haven’t done things properly – we haven’t asked you to be ours, we haven’t even gone out on a date – but that doesn’t change the core of what we are together. John and I are yours and you are ours. You don’t need to thank us for protecting you, because that’s what mates do.”
John watched Rue’s reaction to James’ speech. John felt each word as strongly as James clearly did, but Rue had almost no response to what he’d said. Her eyes had narrowed slightly, but that was the only reaction that John had seen. She didn’t look quite as wary as she had before they’d eaten, but she didn’t seem to be entirely relaxed either. There was an artificial stillness to her body, as if she were trying to make herself appear to be relaxed when she wasn’t.
“Let’s go see your son,” John said. He stood and offered her his hand, which she accepted after a long moment.
He didn’t let go of her hand as he led her out of the bedroom and down the hall. James walked on her other side, holding her hand. James told her about the pride members who lived in the boarding house with them. “The kids are on the second floor, except for Henry who lives on the third floor. The single males all live on the third floor, along with some of the mating trios.”
“Dag told us that matings with multiple partners, like Wyked and Fate with my daughter, Jilly, are not usual. It seems that mountain lions almost always have two males for one female.”
“I don’t remember any multiple matings from before I was banished, but I suppose when it comes to supernatural creatures, there isn’t really anything that’s ‘normal.’”
They walked down the stairs to the first floor and turned toward the kitchen. Aaron, Grant, and Sam stood at the island, talking quietly.
Sam stepped forward quickly and hugged Rue. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Rue.”
Rue dropped James’ and John’s hands quickly and hugged Sam, a look of surprise on Rue’s face. “Thank you.” Her eyes flicked to Aaron and Grant. “Thank you for standing with your brothers on my behalf.”