“Then you should have said sex.” She waits for my answer and I smirk, holding her eyes. After maybe ten seconds I lean a little closer. “I’m not answering that question.”
“You said ask anything!”
“Didn’t say I’d answer.”
She jumps in her seat. “God!”
“Too easy a joke to say, Yes?”
Stifling a laugh she side-eyeballs me. “I’m just going to assume that it was very recently that you didn’t sleep with someone, and ask you something deeper. Why did you go into music?”
“Because I had to.” Pushing my hair behind my ear I confess, “Now this I could talk about all day. If I don’t write songs I feel itchy like something’s wrong. I have to put words to the page. The melody is in my head before the lyrics sometimes. I have to sleep with a notepad by my bed because just when I’m about to fall asleep a line will come to me, and more often than not it’s so perfect I know it came from somewhere other than here.” I point to my head.
“It’s the getting quiet so you can hear that I was talking about with yoga,” she offers.
“Exactly. I related to everything you said about your practice. There’s so much noise all day long. And the chatter in here…” I jam the finger into the side of my head. “It’s so fuckin’ loud like it’s trying to keep you from creating, on purpose. Every day I have to fight this noise inside my head, get to the center of the storm so I can write what the Muse tells me to write.”
“You believe in that, in the Muse?”
“Oh yeah! You kidding? She is as real as you and me. You can’t see her but she’s always there. Ever read The War of Art?”
She tilts her head. “You mean Art of War by Sun Tzu?”
“Nah, Steven Pressfield turned it around. It’s a play on words. The War of Art is about the Resistance we all have inside us. It was written originally for artists but it applies to everyone. He says in the beginning, I think it was the prologue, that if everyone did what they wanted to do with their lives there would be no need for anti-depression meds, abuse, addiction, overeating, divorce, and the list goes on. People would be following their sense of purpose, their joys not their fears. But the Resistance is powerful. It’s the demons we all have that tell us we can’t do the thing we want to do.” Paige is really listening to what I’m saying, not just waiting for her chance to talk. I jab my head again. “I have to quiet those. They’re silent when I’m writing. When I’m onstage. When I’m in the studio recording with Uncle Jason. All their annoying chatter and bold-faced lies quiet down because they can’t fight the light. But they don’t tell you that. You feel it when you choose it.”
She’s smiling at me and my gaze drops to her lips. She’s got nothing on them, just her natural color, the skin smooth and kissable.
It’s all I can do to stay where I am.
“I’ve read the book, Gabriel.”
“Shut up.”
“I have!”
Laughing, I lean away from her. “Why’d you have me say all that then?”
“I wanted to hear what you took away from it.”
“Prove it. Tell me something I didn’t say.”
A grin flashes as she glances down. “The amount of Resistance is in direct proportion to the importance of the thing you’re meant to do.”
“You have read it! What the fuck?”
I laugh, and she joins me.
As we settle down she bites her bottom lip then shrugs, “I can be sneaky, too.”
My smile stays where it is as I watch the car head down the sharp decline into the parking lot of the mill. We’re the sole car here since the place is closed after dark. The driver slows and rolls the divider down again. “Park anywhere, Mr. Cocker?”
“Farthest in you can go.”
Edged with concern, Paige looks out the window. “We’re not supposed to be here.”
“So what? I practically lived in these hiking trails as a kid. I could show you the way with only a slivered moon in the sky. My mom took us here whenever dad was forced to work weekends and she refused to join him so we wouldn’t end up raised by a nanny. My cousins came with us a lot.”
“So…is Ben going to show up here, too?”
“Not funny,” I mutter as the car slows to a smooth stop. The driver looks at me through the rearview, silently asking if I want to open my own door again. “You learn quick. Yeah, stay there. Oh, hey, what’s your name?”
“Larry Monroe.”
“I’m Gabriel. This is Paige.”
She waves at him, “Hi.”
“You have something to keep you busy for a while, Larry?”
“Have an audiobook on phone. I’m learning how to manage my finances.”
Pursing my lips on a nod, I climb out, “Okay then, won’t worry about you.”
This time Paige slides her fingers onto my offered palm without hesitation. She stands up and is about to let go but I entwine our fingers instead and shut the door.
“You going to slap me again?”
She tightens her hold, making my heart pick up speed.
Above us moths circle the lampposts’ yellow light. The car engine turns off behind us and soon the chirping song of cicadas harmonizes from nearby trees.
“They’re so mysterious, aren’t they?” She glances up to me. “Oh, you wrote a song called Cicadas!”
“On my second album. It’s about my Uncle Jaxson and Aunt Rachel, when they were little kids and fell in love.”
“I thought it was just a sweet story for the song!”
“Nope, all true. Cool, huh? Here, I’ll climb over first.” I grab the top railing and throw my legs over the low fence that’s really more decoration than boundary.
“This isn’t going to be easy with my dress,” she mutters, climbing up.
“You’re making it look easy.”
“No way!” She laughs as she fumbles and sits sidesaddle on it.
“You are the picture of grace.”
Rolling her eyes she modestly covers herself. I slide my hands around her waist and lift her up and over, setting her onto the dirt path. She meets my eyes a moment. I have the strongest urge to kiss her.
“It’s been so stormy this week,” she laughs, starting to walk. “Glad it’s clear out.”
“Lots of stars,” I agree as I look up. Her fingers slide against mine and lock into place. It startles me that she instigated this, so I look over. She flashes a quick smile and my heart starts pounding.
“Do I hear a waterfall, Gabriel?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh you don’t, huh?”
“Nope.” Through the trees to my right comes the unmistakable, crashing cascade of a humongous waterfall. Pulling my phone out with my free hand I turn on the flashlight feature and shine a beam on the water.
Paige gasps, “It’s gorgeous!”
“Very.”
Glancing to me she tilts her head a little. “Oh, you're so smooth.”
“I’m not being smooth. Don’t you know how beautiful you are?”
Glancing away she runs self-conscious fingers through her hair as she shakes her head. “Stop it.”
“No.” I put the roar of the water behind me and tenderly cup her chin. “You going to slap me if I kiss you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well I’m going to find out,” I rasp, and lean down. Hovering near her mouth I feel the warmth of her skin. I trace my finger up her neck. She searches my eyes like she doesn’t know what to do. Our lips brush as I ask, “You ready for this?”
“Are you?”
“No, not at all.” I kiss her and feel that same crazy sensation all over again, like this is right where I’m supposed to be.
Her response is tentative at first like she thinks she should hold back. Then her arms float up, fingers gently slipping into my hair. Our jaws unlock as the kiss deepens. Only this time it isn’t for the benefit of the reporters. Nobody is here but us and I’m wondering if her pulse is
racing like mine is.
Electricity shoots down my chest. I’m getting harder by the second. Hungry for more my hands slowly travel down her sides, exploring her curves. Her breath hitches as I hover near her thighs.
“Okay, that’s enough,” she breathes, letting me go.
“Fuck,” I mutter in awe as I adjust myself. She laughs like she’s embarrassed I’m fixing my erection in front of her. “What? I’m not apologizing for this. That kiss…you turn me on.”
“Gabriel…” She gives me the sweetest smile.
I pull her to me and kiss her one more time. Her tongue touches mine and suddenly I’ve got images of tearing this dress off her. I pull away and try to get ahold of myself. Under my breath I rasp, “Never felt like this. I want you so bad it’s crazy.”
“We just met!”
“Like that ever mattered before,” I chuckle, wiping my brow because I’ve begun to sweat. “I’ve fucked before I even knew first names.”
Paige mumbles, “Well, there will be plenty of girls at the concert tomorrow who will help you with that, and it won’t be me. No no no.” She smoothes her dress down, not that it needs it. She freezes as she looks up at me. “What?”
“You. Me. Out of here. We’ve gotta go.” Taking her hand I head back for the car at a fast clip.
“Slow down! I’m in heels, remember? This isn’t paved!”
“We’ve gotta get out of here.”
“Why?” She tugs hard on my hand.
I whip around, pull her to me and groan as I struggle not to grind, but her hip just hit my erection and it felt way too fucking good. “I want to rip your dress, Paige, and this urge is primal and it’s strong and I need you safely back in the car now.” I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.
“Gabriel!”
“Just be quiet. This is for your own good. I want to nail you so bad it’s killing me. But you said no. And I’m listening despite how much I want to fuck the shit out of you.”
She doesn’t make a sound the whole rest of the way.
PAIGE
On the ride back home, Gabriel won’t look at me. We’re sitting as far apart as two people can. I’m stunned by what he said and by my own restraint, too.
Kissing him felt like nothing I’d ever experienced, but then again I’ve never been kissed by a rockstar before. There’s a history of false intimacy attached since I’ve loved his music since he first came onto the scene.
You don’t really know him.
It just feels like you do.
Don’t forget he was a jerk earlier.
Like a mantra I repeat this because my body is buzzing with desire, my hands itching to slide his belt off.
I felt his bulge against my hip back there and now it’s all I can’t think about.
I want to fist his hair.
Tell him to go for it.
Rip my dress off, Gabriel.
Just do it.
Yeah, right.
What a mess that would be.
Tomorrow I’d be at the concert with Shelby and things would be awkward. Like an idiot I’d be waiting for a sign that…God, it’s ridiculous to even think about it!
And he’d act all casual then leave town, continuing his tour, next stop Canada of all places, which isn’t at all close by.
The fact that I memorized his tour stops before she even called into the radio station is sign enough that I must keep my legs closed.
Shelby was right when she called me out on my playlists — I’ve got all of his albums. It’s just, my life is a fucking disaster, that’s why I’ve been so closed off to him. Plus he was a total jerk! And he called me a bitch to my face! Who does that? Especially in the South?!
I look over and see him gnawing on his cheek, a heavy frown on his face. Glancing to his crotch my eyes widen on the size of his bulge. Feeling me staring at him, he glances over and cocks his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Rip my dress off, Gabriel. Just do it.”
His eyes sharpen like an animal given the order to attack. He rolls the glass divider down and tells the driver, “Larry, go the long way. Don’t stop until I tell you to, even if you pass her apartment.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Hitting a button the glass divider is covered by a solid black one, giving us total privacy. He tears his blazer off and throws it on the floor.
Suddenly Gabriel is on me, his hands gripping me so tight as he stares at me like he’s making sure I meant that. He grabs my dress with both hands, rips it and pulls the sleeves down so that my arms are captured and my boring white bra, exposed. His lips latch onto my neck and I moan as he half-kisses, half-chews his way down, igniting every nerve ending along the way. Before I know what’s happening our lips are locked and we’re moaning into each other’s mouths, grinding pelvises, my legs around him as he kneels in front of me.
“Fuck!” He shakes his head. “You feel too good. I can’t take it.”
I don’t care if he says that to every girl.
Right now he’s saying it to me.
I’m the one who frees my breasts from the strict confines of this bra. Gabriel looks down and just when I’m wondering if they’re good enough for him, he lunges for the right one, licking it and sucking my nipple until I’m moaning and out of my mind with need. He switches to the left, skillfully massaging as he licks.
He looks up at me and groans, “You’re bucking against my erection, Paige. You want something?”
“Yes!”
He rises up and pulls my hair, searching my eyes with the sexiest smile. “What do you want?”
“Don’t do this to me. Just…”
“Just what, Paige?”
My pussy is literally throbbing.
But I’m embarrassed. I never dirty-talk.
“Never mind. Forget it.”
He bites my bottom lip and locks eyes with me again. “C’mon Paige. Let go. Just say what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
Aching I close my eyes. “I’ve never done that before.”
“Tell me you want to fuck me, it’s okay. Just say it.”
I moan, my ass rising off the seat.
He holds my look and grinds a little.
As he backs off I cry out, “Don’t tease me!”
“You want my cock, Paige? C’mon baby girl, tell me what you want.”
He glides one hand over my panties and murmurs, “You’ve soaked through these bad boys. Say what you want. I want to give it to you. Drop your inhibition. Let it all go.”
Terrified of sounding silly I whisper, “Fuck me. Please fuck me.”
Our lips collide. He’s kissing me so hard it hurts yet I only want more. I struggle with his belt feeling completely out of my league. His tongue dashes into my mouth as he pulls my panties down my legs and tosses them onto the limo’s floor, dipping down to fondle me with his fingers and kiss the damp hair there. Toying with my tender flesh he dips in and runs circles over my swollen clit with his tongue.
I moan and my fingers dig into his shoulders. He dips his tongue inside me and comes out to flick it everywhere inside my lips like he knows exactly what I need, teasing and playing. I start to shake, fisting his hair and rocking against his mouth as a seed of pleasure bursts in me. Everything is pulsing as I whimper, because it’s not enough. I want more.
“Gabriel, I need you inside my…”
He looks up with lust in his kaleidoscope eyes. “Say it.”
Panting and nervous I murmur, “I need you inside my… pussy.”
“Fuck yes,” he groans pulling his pants down his thighs and releases a cock that makes my whole body tighten with need.
“You’re so big,” I moan.
He stares at my mouth, and nods like he’s used to hearing that. Taking my hand, he puts it on his length. Groaning he shuts his eyes, rocking his hips back and forth and guiding my fingers, showing me the way. He pulls my ass to the edge of the seat and presses the blunt, mushroom tip up against my pussy, spreading my lips with his fingers. We start kissi
ng as he begins to inch in, but he’s so big it’s hard for me to relax.
“I’m sorry! I’m trying.”
He licks my bottom lip and locks eyes with me, his hooded. He’s so handsome I can’t believe I’m really doing this with him. His voice is thick and deep, almost gentle. “Let your mind go. It’s just you and me here. You feel that? I’m going slow so you can yield to me in your own time. You feel that? You’re opening up.”
“I feel it,” I gasp, spreading my legs more and frowning with pleasure.
“Your pussy is fucking perfect, don’t worry. Feel how she’s letting me in now?” His eyes roll back in his head as a guttural groan vibrates his chest, eyelids shutting on a deep wince.
I’m stroking his hair and watching his ecstasy. It’s such a turn on to think I’m doing this to him.
His mouth reaches for mine and our tongues dance as our hips start moving. With each slow, deep thrust my walls stretch a little more, getting used to his size. He breaks free from the kiss and smiles, panting, “That’s good. You’re doing great.”
As his tongue teases mine I cry out into his mouth. He’s hitting something inside that feels so good and overwhelming it scares me. “What’s happening?”
He’s panting and he looks at me. “That’s your g-spot. It feels intense, but let it happen.”
“Oh God!” My nails dig into his flesh as I start to tremble. My heartbeat is pounding everywhere. All my baby hairs are standing up. I feel like I might cry. Something is releasing that I didn’t even know I was holding onto.
Gabriel kisses my cheek as he keeps a steady rhythm, filling me with each thrust. He murmurs, “I’ve never felt like this before.”
I’m trying to keep from screaming as my pussy bears down on him in hot contractions. He claims my mouth in an amazing kiss, groans and cums with me. Tearing free from my lips he roars, “Holy fuck! What is going on?!”
I am a trembling mess.
Please God, help me let go of him when the time comes.
Or if you’re feeling kind, help me keep him.
GABRIEL
Shit, I’m in big trouble. I shouldn’t have done that. This isn’t good. I kiss Paige and look at her, wondering what the fuck I’m going to do now. She’s smiling at me like she’s in love, looking so goddamn beautiful it hurts. But I’m not ready for this. Anybody in my family would tell her that. And if they meet her, they’ll warn her.
Cocky Rockstar: Gabriel Cocker (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 10) Page 6