by K. A. Linde
Once they were a sufficient distance away, Bryna spoke up, “I saw Pace earlier.”
“Yeah?” Stacia said uncertainly. “He didn’t tell me you were back.”
Bryna shrugged. “I didn’t exactly tell him. I went to see the new baby.”
“Really? Pace told me that Celia had her baby. Little Zoe? Is she adorable?”
“She is actually.”
“I know neither of you were thrilled she was having another kid.”
“We weren’t, but it’s hard to hate a baby. She didn’t do anything, you know?” Bryna laughed. “It’s not her fault my family is fucked up.”
“So, did you come back for the baby? Trihn said you were supposed to be in Barcelona all summer.”
Bryna wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about what had happened with Hugh. The baby had been an excuse, but the reason she’d left was Hugh. She had a lot to think about before she would be prepared to tell her friends about her adventures.
“Change of plans,” Bryna said.
Stacia grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks. “Bryna, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have blindsided you about my relationship with Pace. He warned me that you wouldn’t like it, but I had no idea it would be this big of a deal!”
Bryna waved her hand. “I know. It’s okay.”
“It is?” Stacia asked in confusion.
“Yeah. I guess it is.”
“Why? You make me nervous.”
“I don’t like Pace. I don’t think he’s a good person or has good intentions. I’ve known him for too long not to know the tricks he likes to play. The last thing I would want to happen is for you to fall into one of them, but he does seem to legitimately care about you, I guess.” Bryna smiled at her friend. “I’ve had an…eye-opening summer, to say the least, but I’m not suddenly a different person. I don’t have to like Pace. You do. I have it on good authority that you would dump his ass if he treated you poorly.”
Stacia laughed. “Trihn?”
“Yeah. Plus, I don’t think he’s worth losing a friend over.”
Stacia threw her arms around Bryna, and they hugged on the beach. “Seriously, what happened to you this summer? Trihn told me about Eric and then Barcelona…”
“I feel like I put a lot of effort into what is supposed to be an effortless exterior. I don’t want to do that anymore.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if it makes sense, especially since the head bitch isn’t vacating her throne. I want to try to live for a new me.”
Bryna hadn’t realized how true the statement was until it left her mouth. It took so much time to maintain this personality that people associated with her. Her friends, Eric, Hugh—they all saw a different side of her. At this point, she didn’t know which one was the real Bryna. It had been a soul-searching summer, and she was ready to move on.
“Well, I love the new you. Let’s get back to my friends. We have so much to catch up on.”
Bryna bit on her lip. She had one more thing to do before she could completely start fresh again. One more burned bridge.
“I’d love to.” She longingly looked out at the beach. “But I have someone I need to visit.”
THIS WAS GOING TO BE a whole hell of a lot harder than talking to Stacia.
Gates.
She hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he had kicked her out of his premiere during her senior year. He was her first real boyfriend, her best friend, and one of her biggest mistakes. She hadn’t spoken with him since that night nearly a year and a half ago when she did what she thought was irreparable damage to their relationship.
He had told her he loved her, and she had told him to fuck off. It didn’t exactly leave her in an inspiring place to get back into his life.
Things weren’t perfect between them. They never had been, but in a way, they were the only ones in each other’s lives who really got each other. She had taken advantage of him. He had gotten swept away by her. They were horribly wrong for each other. Too similar in most ways. Both had egos larger than the Pacific Ocean. But as much as she’d wanted it to seem like she didn’t care that she didn’t talk to him anymore…she cared.
Bryna didn’t even know where to begin initiating this contact. Some part of her wanted to show up at his place and force him to talk to her. But that was the part of her that allowed herself to imagine his rejection. The other part of her knew that calling would be the right choice…even if he didn’t answer…even if he didn’t want to see her.
She got back into the Porsche, replaced the convertible top, took a deep breath, and dialed his number.
She waited an interminable amount of time before the line clicked over.
“Well, that’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.”
“Hey, Gates,” she said. It was surreal to hear his voice.
“What can I do you for, Bri?” he asked.
She could tell that he was going to be difficult, and she didn’t blame him.
“The tabloids say you’re in L.A.”
“You follow the tabloids now?” he asked.
She only knew he was here by chance after scrolling through a tabloid on the plane. She normally didn’t follow them.
She was suddenly nervous about this whole thing. But it was Gates. They had known each other too long. She could do this.
“What are you up to right now?”
“Cut to the chase, Bri. I don’t have all day for this,” he said, his voice cutting like ice.
“Can I come over? We need to talk,” she said quickly.
“Is this Bryna Turner? I haven’t heard from her in over a year and I’m confused right now.”
“Gates, don’t be a fucker.”
He laughed at her outburst. “Oh, there she is.”
“Yeah. Same old me,” she said dryly.
“Seriously, what do you want?”
“I just want to talk, honestly.”
“Am I going to want to hear what you have to say?” he asked, clearly cautious.
After all this time, what could I possibly say to change his mind about me? Maybe nothing. But if she said nothing, then nothing would change. And hearing his voice confirmed how much she wanted things to change. She had been able to rely on him for everything, and even if she didn’t want anything romantic with him, she still wanted his friendship. That was worth something to her. She hoped it still was for him.
“You know, I’m really busy,” Gates continued.
“Cut the shit. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important, and you know it. If I know you at all, you’re probably sitting around in your boxers, playing Xbox.”
After a minute, he responded, “Damn. You know me too well.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I did.”
“Okay. Fine. I’m too damn curious now. Come on over. This’d better be good.”
“It is,” she murmured before disconnecting.
At least…she hoped so.
The drive to Gates’s place was easy. She pulled up to the attendant, he cleared her through the gate, and she drove up to his mansion. It was enormous and far too much for someone his age. But who am I to talk? She had a house of her own that she hadn’t even worked for. At least he had this because his movies had taken off.
When she knocked on the door, she was unsurprised to see him wearing dark jeans and a fit red polo. His dark brown hair was spiked up in the front, and his blue eyes were apprehensive. His hesitant smile wasn’t the one that he used for the cameras that made all of America melt. But he still looked like her Gates, and he was still gorgeous.
“Hey,” he said.
She cleared her throat and looked away from his bright blue eyes. She’d fallen victim to them a time or two in the past. “Hey.”
“I guess…come in.”
“Thanks,” she said, bypassing him and walking into the living room.
“This is weird,” Gates said once he joined her.
“Yeah. A bit.”
“I mean…have you ever seen the downstairs to my p
lace?”
Bryna shrugged. “I honestly don’t think so.”
“Yeah. We mostly occupied the bedroom.”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence fell between them. It had never been there before, but the time apart and the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the dissolution of their friendship had forced the wedge between them. There was so much that needed to be said, and it all hung between them.
“Anyway,” she whispered.
“I never thought I’d hear from you again,” he said, breaking the barrier.
“I know. I never intended to call.”
His eyes narrowed. “Then, why did you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Well, you asked to come over here.” He walked to the couch and plopped down.
His posture showed that he was uncomfortable with what was going on, and she didn’t know how to make this easier. This wasn’t her forte.
She barreled forward, not wanting to lose her nerve. “So…remember that time you told me you loved me, and I didn’t believe you?”
Gates glared at her. “The night you told me to fuck off at my own premiere the day before Valentine’s Day? Then, I didn’t hear from you ever again? How exactly do you think I could forget that?”
She took a steadying breath and sat down across from him on the coffee table. “Apparently, I make a habit of it.”
“A habit of what?” he asked curiously.
“Not believing people when they tell me they love me, not realizing they love me, and royally fucking up everything in the aftermath.”
Gates looked taken aback at that. “Ah, I see. So, who was the victim this time?” He sounded bitter.
“Hugh Westercamp,” she answered honestly. She couldn’t lie to Gates. What good would hiding the truth do now?
Hugh was out of her life by her own choice, and any damage she could do to his character had already been done to his heart.
“The hotel executive?” he asked in disbelief.
“That’s the one.”
Gates whistled under his breath. “Damn. You’ve upped your game.”
“I did,” she agreed. “But I’ve decided to give it up.”
“What? Hugh?”
“No. The game,” she told him.
He laughed until he realized she wasn’t joking. “Bri, come on. You’ve got to be kidding, right? Games are in your blood. You live and breathe scheming. You always have.”
“You’re right,” she acquiesced easily. “But when I play games, I hurt people.” She looked him directly in the eyes now. “I hurt you, and I’m sorry about that.”
Gates didn’t say anything for a minute. He stared at her, speechless. She knew she wasn’t good at apologies. Until Eric, she hadn’t even really apologized to anyone. It wasn’t who she was, but she had wronged Gates by letting this gap between them continue, and she needed to make amends.
“Did you just apologize?”
“I should have a long time ago. I know I told you we were broken up, but the line was fuzzy. I could have handled it better.”
His jaw dropped. “What the fuck happened to you?”
She laughed at his shock. “I guess…I saw the light.”
“I guess is right.”
“I’m still me. I can’t change the head bitch, but I wanted to apologize even if you don’t want to talk to me or be friends again. I had to let you know that I still want that even though I know I don’t deserve it.”
“I don’t want that,” he said immediately.
She tried not to flinch at his harsh words. Of course he didn’t want that. “All right. Well, I said what I came to say.” She stood and hurriedly started toward the door.
“Hey,” he said, catching her arm before she could run off. “I said I don’t, but what I meant was that I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want us to be friends again.”
“Great clarification,” she said sarcastically.
“Look, I dreamed of the day this would happen, and you never came to me. I couldn’t go to you. I tried to move on. But I guess I’ve realized I should have gone to you a long time ago. I loved you, Bri. I knew you hated hearing it. I knew you didn’t feel the same way. Yet I pushed, and that wasn’t fair either. We’ve both done some pretty shitty things to each other, but we’ve been friends for a long time.”
“We have,” she agreed.
She was shocked that he had said those things. She never would have guessed that he felt this way about what had happened.
“It’s been hard without you.”
“No one to keep your ego in check?” she joked.
“You’re ridiculous,” he said.
But he was laughing. Suddenly, all the tension that had been between them seemed to leave his shoulders. She didn’t think they would be perfect, but she was willing to try.
“Are we cool?” she asked.
“It’s a start.”
“I can live with that.” It was more than she had expected.
“Come on, you.” He directed her out through the back door and to his pool.
Her mind immediately went back to a different pool where she and Eric used to hang out with margaritas and burgers she couldn’t always eat. It made her sigh as she lounged back on a chair.
Speaking of Eric…
“Now that we’re kind of on the same page,” she said, narrowing her eyes, “you put me in quite the bind last year.”
“How? I wasn’t even around!”
“Do you remember when we went to LV State for my campus visit?”
He shrugged. “Sure. You got trashed.”
“That night, you told me that Eric Wilkins was gay!” she spat. “And you told him that I was a slut and to stay away from me!”
Gates looked at her and then busted out laughing. “Holy shit! I forgot all about that.”
“I can’t believe you did that!”
“Hey! I never said he was gay! You inferred that. And, at the time, I didn’t want anyone else near you.”
“Yeah, well, thanks for the heads-up. Jesus. I spent the last year thinking he was gay, and now…he’s not.”
She looked away from Gates, but she was sure he had read her expression. They had known each other for too long that even a little distance couldn’t change that.
“So, you like him.”
“No,” she said fiercely. She didn’t know what she felt for Eric. She still couldn’t get the image of him with Audrey out of her mind even if she knew it was irrational since she had been with someone else the whole time. But she missed him, and that sucked. “It’s complicated.”
“Everything always is with you.”
BRYNA RETURNED TO LAS VEGAS on cloud nine. She’d road-tripped with Stacia up I-15 a week early, and both girls were happy to return to cheer practice. It worked Bryna’s lax summer muscles and kept her mind occupied. By the time classes were starting again, she was ready to face school once more, but this time, it would be with a bright new outlook.
After talking with Celia, Bryna had been feeling a strange calm about her family life that she couldn’t remember existing since middle school. Baby Zoe had made an impact. Not that everything was peachy keen. She still hated Pace and had been avoiding him like the plague while at home. But now that things were back to normal between Bryan and Stacia, Bryna knew she would be seeing a lot more of him. And as much as she despised the way he treated Bryna, she knew he was as much a product of their parents’ marriage as she was.
And now she had Gates back. Things were still a little weird between them. She had expected as much, but at least they were talking. It was better than the alternative.
She walked into her film history class with a bounce in her step that she had never had before and a genuine smile that she couldn’t wipe off her face. She recognized a few familiar faces from her intro class last semester. She ignored their stares. She had gotten them last semester, too, because of who her father was. It had isolated her in the class, but she hadn’t cared then, and s
he certainly wouldn’t care now.
With her head held high, she took a seat in the middle of the lecture hall and pulled out her MacBook. She hummed to herself as she scrolled through pictures from this week at cheer. She felt the seat next to her shift, and she grumbled under her breath. Of all the places for someone to sit in this huge auditorium, some person had to sit right next to her.
She glanced up to make some snide remark about it, but it stalled on her tongue. “You.”
He lazily smiled down at her. “Hey yourself.”
“It’s Cam, right?” she asked uncertainly.
She had briefly met him inside Hugh’s resort last semester. She had given Cam her number on a whim, but he’d never called. She hadn’t even thought about it since then. But now that he was in front of her again, she remembered why she had given it to him.
“That’s right. And you’re Bryna? I knew I recognized you.”
“You never called,” she accused, looking up at him through her lashes.
“And I bet it broke your heart.”
“You’ve no idea.”
“Well, I’m here now. Who could have guessed we’d have a class together?”
She tilted her head and licked her lips. “So, are you a film major?”
He shrugged. “I’m kind of in between. Acting. Film. I like them both. I wouldn’t mind getting into either. I’m in an acting class, too. Are you?”
She shook her head. She had no desire to act…ever. She belonged behind the camera, like her dad, not in front of it, like her mother. Not that she was about to say that to someone she had just met. With some luck, he wouldn’t find out that her father was Lawrence Turner for a very long time.
“Too bad.”
Bryna smiled at that. She liked this. This was easy. See? She could be normal and flirt with regular college guys. Trihn and Stacia would be proud.
“It would be nice to know someone else around here.”
“Oh, yeah? I’m the only person on campus you know?”
“Well, I have a roommate, Carl, but I wouldn’t say I know him.”
“And you know me?” she asked.