by K. A. Linde
“Please…” She didn’t know if she was asking him to stop or begging him to keep going.
“I want you, Bri.” His mouth was hot against her throat.
His finger dipped under her thong and pressed against her wet core. She groaned at the feel of him and how riled up she already was.
“I know,” she murmured incoherently.
His touch made her whole body quiver.
“Your body, mind, and soul. Do you want me to take your body?”
She shook her head, but the word that tumbled out of her mouth came as a shock to her, “Yes.”
He sighed with relief, kissed her shoulder, and then took a reluctant step backward.
“Eric?” Her vision seemed to clear all at once. She realized the spell he had cast on her and what she had been about to do. Suddenly she felt cold and empty all over again, trapped in this vortex of lust and sin that she couldn’t escape.
“Then, let me in. Your heart isn’t frozen or black, like you seem to think. You opened it to me before, and I want it again.”
“I can’t,” she said softly, woodenly stuck to the door.
“We’re hanging on the edge. Jump.”
She shook her head. “The problem with jumping is that you’re as likely to end up broken as you are to being saved.”
“Fine,” he said, shaking his head in dismay. “I’d rather take a chance on being broken. I guess you have to make up your mind on what you want.”
He grabbed the door handle, and she moved out of the way. He opened it and left, and she watched his retreating back as he headed down the hallway.
“I already have.”
ERIC WAS A CONSTANT THOUGHT in the back of her mind.
Bryna didn’t know what had happened that night or how she had lost control so easily. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She was trying to move on with her life and make good decisions. But being around him perpetuated the darker side of her personality. She wanted and wanted and wanted when she was with him. She couldn’t get enough, and that was dangerous.
So, she avoided him during games and on the plane for away games and at the hotel and practices and everywhere else she saw him. She knew he was waiting for her to make up her mind, but it was so clear that she had already decided.
She’d chosen Cam. They had gone to lunch a couple of times after class, he’d message her a lot, and they’d chat online. It was real, stable, and normal. She liked where it was going even if they were moving at a glacial pace.
Of course, that was her doing since she had told him he couldn’t come in that first night, and he’d agreed to take things slow. It wasn’t bad. Her body was just on fire.
Cam was coming to the next home game and then they were going out with her friends afterward. She was excited for her friends to finally meet Cam, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about sharing him yet. She had never really dated anyone before who the girls could meet. Another new experience.
The night before the home game, she was lounging around the apartment with Trihn when the doorbell rang. Trihn hopped up and answered it. A minute later, she returned with an envelope.
“Um…this is for you.” She held it close to her chest.
Bryna raised her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah?”
She reached for it, but Trihn kept it away from her.
“It says Westercamp.”
“What?” Bryna asked, suddenly chilled.
“Yeah. It looks official, and a courier delivered it.”
Bryna snatched the envelope from her friend and tore it open. “Oh my God.”
“What?” Trihn asked anxiously.
The check she had left at the WC Resort fell out of the envelope and onto the coffee table in front of them.
“He returned it,” Bryna breathed.
“The check for the house? Oh my God. What are you going to do with it?”
“I…I don’t know. I thought I was doing the right thing by returning it. I never thought he would give it back to me.”
“You were doing the right thing,” Trihn said. She reverently held the check between her hands. “This is an absurd amount of money. You can’t keep it.”
“No. I never intended on keeping it. I just wanted him to know that I didn’t want the money,” she said, still shocked. “Do you think he thought I was throwing it back in his face?” Just the thought of that made her queasy.
“I don’t know,” Trihn said honestly.
“Oh God.” Bryna was horrified.
He couldn’t think that, could he? She hadn’t wanted to hurt him in the first place. She had returned the money for the house as a gesture to show that she had cared about him and that it hadn’t been just about the money. In fact, she didn’t even need the money, and he should have taken it back. The last thing she’d wanted was for him to think that she had sold the house to spite him or something equally horrible.
“It’s okay, B,” Trihn said. “That wasn’t your intention.”
“I know. I know.” She took a deep breath. “I have to figure out how to fix this.”
“You will. We’ll figure it out.”
Bryna nodded. She carefully replaced the check in the envelope and put it in a safe in her room. She didn’t know what she was going to do from here. She had thought she was doing the right thing. Once again, it’d backfired in her face.
Changing into a slip, she crawled into bed and hoped she would dream up a solution.
The next day, Bryna didn’t have an answer, but at least she would have a full day of football to keep her mind occupied. It was a gorgeous day with the sun beating down overhead. Her muscles were strong and ready for the cheers and stunts that were ingrained in her mind. She had a smile plastered on her face as the Gamblers easily whooped their opponent.
Halfway through the game, Coach Galloway pulled out the starters, including Marshall, and Pace went in as quarterback.
Stacia jumped up and down next to Bryna with excitement. “My boyfriend is in as QB!”
“I can see that,” Bryna said dryly.
Her base, Daniel, rolled his eyes, and Bryna fought back laughter.
“Mission complete,” Stacia said.
Bryna shook her head and returned her focus to the game. She hated admitting that Pace looked good out there. She knew from Stacia’s rants and her own general knowledge of Pace that he wasn’t satisfied as the backup. She could see why, too.
Even though Marshall was better, Pace was still really good. He could have been starting at almost every other school, but he had chosen LV State to mess with her. She wondered if he now stayed for Stacia or if he had a bigger agenda she hadn’t yet discerned. Either way, she wasn’t going to let him know that she thought he was good at anything. He had stopped his harassment for the most part, and she wanted to keep it that way.
When the game ended, her eyes turned to the stands to try to find Cam. Trihn had promised she would bring him down onto the field afterward. She heard someone clear his throat behind her, and she turned to find herself staring up in the most perfect hazel eyes.
She took a step back to give herself some distance and tried to ignore how good Eric looked in his coaching outfit.
“Hey,” she said softly.
There were a lot of people around. Thousands of people. And the only person she could focus on was right in front of her. She had a problem. A major problem. And his name was Eric Wilkins.
“Are you going out tonight?” he asked brusquely.
Bryna tensed. “Yeah.”
“With the new guy?”
“Yeah.”
Eric simply nodded. “Okay.” Then, he turned and walked away.
Bryna looked over her shoulder momentarily to see if she could see Cam or Trihn, but it was still too crowded for them to get on the field. She raced after Eric and grabbed his arm to stop him.
Sparks flew threw her hand upon contact, and she hastily removed it. Touching him was dangerous. “Wait…why?” she asked.
“I was deciding whether o
r not to stay in tonight.”
“Are you staying in like last year?” she asked. The image of Audrey popped into her head, and she hated herself for remembering that day.
“No. I’m staying in because of you. I told you I was done with her. We’re done. It’s that simple.” He sighed. His eyes silently pleaded with her.
“Why? I’m not giving you a reason. I’m not giving you hope.”
He tilted his head and assessed her. A slow smile crept onto his face. “I have hope. You’re talking to me now, and I remember the way you kissed me, the feel of your skin, that look in your eye—”
“Stop!” she said desperately. She realized how close together they were, and she took a hasty step backward. She hadn’t even known they had moved toward each other like magnets.
“See? There’s still hope.”
“Eric…”
“But I’m not going to torture myself. You said no and stop, and I’m not forcing you into anything, Bri,” he said. “I do have to tell you that I think you’re making a big mistake.”
He walked away before she could respond. Not that she had any idea what she would have said. Things with Eric were…complicated. She didn’t want complicated tonight.
“Hey!” Cam said from behind her.
She nearly jumped out of her skin as she turned to face him. He pulled her into a quick hug. She hoped she had composed herself.
“Hey, you!”
He released her. She noticed Trihn and Neal behind her. Trihn nodded her head and gave her a look that said she had seen Bryna with Eric. She shrugged lightly. Their unspoken communication.
“Who was your friend?”
“What friend?” she asked.
“The guy you were talking to.”
“Oh. Nobody.” She needed to change the subject. “How did you like the game?”
He shrugged. “It was football. Neal is pretty cool though. He filled me in on this Posse situation.”
Oh no! Bryna knew exactly what Neal thought about Posse and their entourage.
Bryna narrowed her eyes. “What exactly did he say?”
“Just that I should expect to drink and dance all night.”
She breathed out in relief. “Sounds about right.”
“Should be fun.”
“I think so.” She smiled as he laced their fingers together. “I have to change, and then we can head out.”
Bryna hurried after Stacia to go into the locker rooms. Trihn jogged after her, leaving Neal and Cam all alone to wait for them.
“What was that all about?” Trihn asked.
“What was what about?” Bryna asked innocently.
“That whole thing with Eric.”
“There’s nothing with Eric.”
“There clearly is,” she said, placing her hand on Bryna’s arm to stop her. “I don’t want you to get hurt again. Talk to me. What’s happening? Do you really like Cam? He doesn’t seem like your type, and I don’t want you to lead him on if you’re not interested.”
Bryna wrenched her arm away. “I’m not leading Cam on. I like him. We have fun together.”
“Then, what is going on with Eric? And don’t say nothing.”
“Nothing,” she said automatically.
Trihn glared at her, and she sighed.
“We slept together.”
“What?” Trihn shrieked.
“Shh!”
“Sorry. What? You slept with Eric? When? Why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”
“It was at the beginning of the school year before I went out with Cam. It was the first time we saw each other since last year, and I don’t know. Things just exploded.”
“Literally.”
Bryna shoved Trihn. “Yes. Literally. Jesus. Then, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was trying to be this new person, and the person I’d been around him was a lie. Everything got jumbled. I don’t want to be with someone who I was only comfortable around because I thought he was gay for over a year.”
“Are you sure that was the only reason you were comfortable?” Trihn asked meaningfully.
“Yes! I just…” She shook her head and tried to get all her thoughts together. “I want this to be easy and effortless. I want to be strong, Trihn, but it seems like the harder I try to be strong, the weaker and more vulnerable I become.”
Trihn grabbed her and hugged the breath out of her. “I know just what you mean.”
Bryna hugged her back. She was glad she didn’t have to explain any further.
They headed into the locker rooms, and Bryna changed into more appropriate clothing for Posse. When they returned, Cam and Neal were standing with Pace at the entrance to the locker rooms. The sight of them all together made her uneasy.
“Ready to go?” Pace asked impatiently.
Stacia bounded over to him and snuggled up into his arms. “I’m ready.”
Bryna barely restrained herself from gagging. Trihn sent her a sympathetic look. She wasn’t fond of Pace either. She hadn’t witnessed firsthand the bullshit he had put Bryna through, but she’d claimed that she got a bad vibe from him. Bryna couldn’t agree more.
The group proceeded to Stacia’s SUV, which was the biggest vehicle between them. It wasn’t far to Posse. They could have walked from the football stadium, but it was nice to have a car nearby regardless. Pace took the keys from Stacia and revved the engine as everyone else piled in.
She couldn’t believe she was willingly hanging out with Pace. It felt so wrong. Bryna tried to tune out his bullshit about how he should be the new starter for the team after getting playtime on the field. She ground her teeth and leaned into Cam. He put his arm around her shoulders in response.
“If only Coach didn’t have such a stick up his ass for Marshall,” Pace droned on. “Speaking of, you know who has been in a shit mood lately?”
“Who?” Stacia asked, enraptured.
“Eric.”
Bryna jolted slightly and looked up into Pace’s eyes in the rearview mirror. They were mischievous. She knew he had brought up Eric on purpose. Trihn swiveled around to check on Bryna. Bryan’s eyes widened slightly, telling Trihn not to give Pace the satisfaction of a reaction. She didn’t want Cam to notice.
“He has been yelling at everyone and biting our heads off for dumb shit. I think he needs to get laid. We’re all determined to find him a new girl.”
Neutral. Completely neutral.
“Bryna, you’re close with him, right? Maybe you could talk to him.”
“No,” she said flatly.
“Come on. You guys were joined at the hip last year. Maybe you could recommend someone we could hook him up with,” he teased.
“Shut the fuck up, Pace,” she growled.
He had an uncanny ability to get under her skin like no one else.
At her outburst, Cam stiffened next to her. She could see that he was looking at her curiously from the corner of his eye. She couldn’t make eye contact.
“What?” Pace said. He raised his hands from the steering wheel as if he were innocent. “I thought since you two were…friends, you could get him to chill.”
“We’re not friends.”
Trihn slapped Pace on the back of the head. Stacia whispered animatedly to him at the front of the car. From the backseat, Bryna couldn’t hear her, but she was glad that at least it shut him up even if he had said more than she wanted.
The car was suddenly stifling, and she was internally screaming, Let me out of here!
BRYNA WAS MORE THAN HAPPY when they pulled up in front of Posse. Pace parked the car, and she hurried outside where she could breathe. She couldn’t believe Pace had brought that shit up in. He had been trying to start something, and she was going to murder him in his sleep if he didn’t get his shit together.
Cam followed behind her, and they all started toward the entrance. They made it inside before Cam said anything.
“So…who is Eric?” he asked slowly.
She sighed. She’d known this was coming. “He’s
just a…guy friend of mine.”
“But you said that you weren’t friends.”
“I know.” She looked up at him and wished that she could tell him everything, but this was all new, and she didn’t want to scare him off. “He’s a guy I used to hang out with a lot last year.”
“Is he the guy from the game?” Cam asked intuitively.
“Um…yeah.”
“Did you two date?” he asked.
She shook her head. No, they hadn’t dated. They had just been inseparable, and now, they were…nothing. Something. Complicated.
“Okay,” he said uncertainly. “Should I be worried?”
She shook her head again. “You have nothing to worry about,” she reassured him. Anything that might have been with Eric was never going to come to fruition.
“All right. I really like you, Bryna. I don’t want any surprises. You know you can tell me anything.”
“Of course,” she lied through her teeth.
He smiled as if he had gotten through to her. “Let’s go catch up with your friends then.”
Bryna sagged with relief that he wasn’t going to ask any more questions. She wanted their relationship to be simple and fun like it had been since their first date. She knew introducing him to her friends was going to make things a little difficult, but she had never planned on bringing up Eric.
They walked over to the bar. Maya was working and showing off her black skin in a tiny black bra top and high-waist jean cutoffs.
Bryna whistled at her as she approached. “Looking hot tonight!”
“B!” Maya squealed. She leaned across the bar and kissed her cheeks.
“This is my date, Cam,” she said to Maya.
The girl had a tendency to push hot older guys on her, so she wanted to make it clear from the get-go that it wasn’t happening tonight.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Maya.” She reached across the bar and shook his hand. “What can I get you?”
“Nice to meet you, too. Just a Bud Light is fine.”
Maya nodded and passed a beer to him. She worked on a dirty martini and handed that one to Bryna. She was going to need to sip this because she wanted to keep her cool tonight.