The Shepherd's Heart Series: A Boxed Set Book Bundle Collection Volumes 1-4

by Lynnette Bonner

  With a sigh of resignation, Sharyah relinquished the papers and Cade thumped them down on her desk with a satisfied look.

  “Now,” he turned back to her. “After the wedding Hannah asked us to go and help pack Mrs. Snyder’s things over to the Doc’s place.” He arched a brow, as though asking if that was a good place to start.

  Sharyah nodded, her mind scrambling for a way out, even as she resigned herself to the inevitable. She smoothed her hands down her skirt.

  Cade arched a brow. “Oh, see? We’re getting somewhere now, because you only do that smoothing thing when you are nervous or out of sorts.”

  Sharyah’s hands stilled and she tipped her chin up as she deliberately clasped her hands behind her back. “Can you please just accept my apology and go home?”

  His grin sprang back into place and he tossed her a bold wink. “Then,” he held up a second finger. “We were in the parlor and you said what a beautiful wedding it was, what with Victoria standing up with her mother and all. And you asked me what kind of wedding I wanted to have when the day came to be my turn. And….” He stilled and his hand went back to cup his chin.

  Sharyah’s heart forgot to beat. She could see by the look on his face that he’d figured it out.

  As though testing the words, he went on slowly. “I said there was no woman in the world worth the trouble of getting hitched to and then you slapped me.”

  She closed her eyes, never before had she wished that a hole would open up in the ground and swallow her, but today she did. A tiny hole, just big enough for her and no one else. Then she could go and wallow in her humiliation all alone.

  The silence lengthened and stretched so tight she finally peeked to see if Cade had stolen away on cat feet. Her shoulders drooped. No such luck. He stood before her, a totally blank look on his face.

  Her stomach surged on a bit of elation. He still doesn’t know. Oh, thank you God! “Are we done now? Seems to me you remember things pretty accurately.” She reached for her lesson plan.

  But he brushed her hands back. “No, oh no, we are not done. I’m no closer to knowing why I got slapped than when I walked in here and I’m not leaving until I know. A guy’s got to know what to avoid saying or doing so he doesn’t go around getting slapped all the time.” He tipped his head and settled his hands on narrow hips.

  “Cade!” She sighed and dropped her arms to her sides in exasperation. He never took anything seriously. “You are such a dolt!” She couldn’t believe that had just popped out of her mouth, and one hand flew to cover her lips as though to keep any other wayward words from jumping out of their own accord.

  He laughed. “Good! See? Now we are getting somewhere. Just tell me how I offended you enough to make you want to slap me!” He lifted his palms to shoulder height. “Did you think I really meant it as an insult against all women? Surely you know that I was just kidding, right? There’s obviously some woman, out there somewhere,” he gestured to include the world outside the school-house windows, “who will be worth the trouble, one day. But I certainly haven’t met her yet. And that’s all I was saying. Is that why you slapped me?”

  Sharyah clenched her eyelids tight and willed herself not to slap him again. She had loved Cascade Bennett from the time she knew what the opposite sex was. And he’d always thought of her as a little sister. But after the wedding she’d imagined that he’d been flirting with her, that he was actually enjoying her company as a woman, not just as a little sister. And then he’d said no woman in the world was worth the trouble of getting hitched to. Just like he was saying right now. It had been like a knife shoved into her chest and she’d reacted to the pain on her first instinct. Oh how she wished she’d held her itching palm in check. Because now this stubborn man would hound her all the way to heaven’s gate, wanting to know the reason, and he was too… man-like to figure it out himself. And not a thing on God’s green earth could entice her to admit to him that she loved him, had loved him for as long as she could remember.

  So… She opened her eyes and dropped her hand to her side. “Yes, Cade. You are right. You can’t just go around insulting women. I had to stand up for all women everywhere and that’s why I slapped you. Please forgive me, like I said, I was having a really bad day.”

  His eyes narrowed and he folded his arms. “I don’t believe you.” He stepped toward her a dawning look of realization on his face. “Wait a minute, you don’t, you weren’t… Sharyah?” He reached out to take her hand a look of pity on his face.

  Panic surged. She backed away from him so fast that she tripped on her hem. She would have sprawled in a heap if not for his lightening fast grab of her waist. She settled her hands against the corded muscles in his forearms, frustrated with the heat in her cheeks.

  “Shar,” he touched her chin, tipping her face up and studying her intently. “When did you morph from a little girl into such a beautiful woman?” His voice barely carried to her.

  “Ah.” The word came out on a tiny squeak. “I really need you to get going. The students are going to be here any min—”

  “What is going on here?” The voice cut through the morning air with the force of a whip.

  Sharyah felt her humiliation rise as she glanced down the aisle to see her brother and the three orphans he and Victoria had taken in staring at them. The girls grinned. Rocky, his arms folded, glared passionately. The little boy took in Rocky’s stance and mimicked him without a moment’s hesitation.

  She pressed away from Cade and mercifully he didn’t stop her. How had they missed the sound of the door opening? “Rocky, good morning. Nothing is going on. Cade was just leaving.” She shot Cade a meaningful look she hoped he would recognize. Smoothing her hands over her skirt, she hurried down the aisle. “ChristyAnne, Damera, Jimmy, welcome to your first day of school. I’ve prepared a desk for each of you. As soon as school gets started today I’ll have you each take a few tests so I’ll know better how to prepare your lessons. But for now, you can hang your coats in the entryway and then I’ll show you to your seats.”

  Mercifully, other children started filtering into the room as the three turned to do as she had said. The men glared at one another as though they hadn’t been life-long best friends, but rather enemies. “Rocky, please.” She lowered her voice and stepped closer to him. “Nothing was going on. Just drop it and leave.”

  Rocky tore his gaze from Cade and met her gaze. “It’s a good thing it was me who walked in and not one of the other parents.”

  “Yes.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.” She forced a smile.

  He didn’t look convinced, but he slid his hat back on his head. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it.” Rocky turned and left, but not before he cast one more hard look in Cade’s direction.

  Sharyah let out a breath on a bit of relief. One down. Now just one more stubborn man to get out of her classroom. As the students started settling into their desks, she turned a pleading look on Cade. Amusement danced in his expression and she felt her anger spark at that. How could he find this funny. She had been humiliated in front of several of her new students, not to mention her brother. Her eyes narrowed. But thankfully she was spared from giving him the sharp side of her tongue, because he held up his hands in an “I surrender” gesture and reached for his hat on the front bench.

  Settling it on his head, he pulled the brim low and tilted his head to meet her gaze. “Seeing that we didn’t get to finish our conversation, Miss Jordan, when can I expect that we might finish it?”

  Aware that her students were studying her, she smiled smoothly. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you at church on Sunday, Mr. Bennett. Perhaps we can finish our conversation then.”

  Giving his hat another tug, Cade smiled. “I’ll be looking forward to it, Miss Jordan. You can certainly count on my donation to the school’s fundraiser.”

  The titter of laughter that followed Cade out the door did nothing to ease her fears over the gossip this morning’s events would elicit
in town. She sighed. That was the last thing she needed. But what was done, was done.

  She clapped her hands. “Children, please open your primers to today’s lesson. Jimmy, ChristyAnne and Damera, come to my desk please.” God, just get me through this day.

  11

  Victoria had just finished up the morning dishes and started on a batch of cookies when she heard Rocky drive the team into the yard. She frowned. She’d thought he would go to the livery and leave the team there so he wouldn’t be late for work. She’d planned to drop the forgotten lunch off with his father a little later, when she knew Rocky would be riding his rounds of the town. Well, maybe he’d forgotten something. She huffed in frustration. She’d really been hoping not to see him again until this evening when the children would be home.

  She bumped the coffee pot further from the center of the stove so it would be cool when he came in. Maybe cold coffee would hustle him out the door to work sooner.

  A few minutes later he pushed through the kitchen door and hung his brown Stetson on the peg.

  She tried to act calm. “Hi. Forget something? I made you a lunch. It’s there by the door.” She gestured in the general direction but stared down at her cookie recipe, hoping he would just get what he came for and then go.

  “MmHmm.” He sidled up beside her and leaned his elbows back onto the counter, peering up into her face.

  She dumped a measure of flour into the cookie dough and, too late, realized she’d put in double what she needed. Drat! Why could she never seem to concentrate when he was around? She reached past him for another egg and more sugar. “You better get it and get going. You’re going to be late for work.” She cracked the egg against the side of the bowl.

  He smiled. “I don’t have to go in to work today.”

  Her hands stilled. “You don’t?” She hoped he hadn’t noticed the squeak in her voice.

  “Nope.” He took the egg shells from her, dropping them into the compost bucket by the back door.

  She frowned. “But you just—I thought—”

  Strolling to the stove, he pushed the coffee pot into the center, then grinned at her over his shoulder. “I forgot to tell you I didn’t have to go to work today.” He winked. “Also forgot to tell you not to worry, that we’d be able to finish our conversation from last night without interruption as soon as I got home.”

  Her face heated and she stared down into the batter. Now what?

  “Of course,” he ambled over and placed his palms on the counter next to her, “if I had done that, I suspect you’d have been long gone to the orphanage or into town by now.” He grinned and bent close enough that his shoulder touched hers. “So maybe I didn’t forget. Maybe I just neglected to tell you.”

  She couldn’t avoid the magnetic pull of a smile. But she didn’t dare meet his gaze and she scooted away from his touch.

  He followed and leaned close again. His face was only inches from hers and if she looked up there was no telling what might happen. She poked at the dough with the end of her spoon. There was something wrong with it, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what she’d done.

  “Ria,” he whispered, “look at me.”

  She closed her eyes and gave a little shake of her head, willing away the desire to collapse into his arms and allow all her protective walls to crumble.

  He bent nearer, his breath brushing warmth against her cheek. “I’d marry you all over again, even if there were no orphans involved.”

  So he says now.

  At his chuckle, her eyes flew open. What could he find humorous at this moment? Despite herself, she met his gaze.

  One finger tapped the end of her nose. “Don’t get that stubborn lift to your chin, Mrs. Jordan.”

  A mere fraction of an inch separated his lips from hers. She swallowed and stepped back. “Rocky—”

  He lifted a hand to silence her and his thumb traced a warm path from one corner of her mouth to the other. “I know what you think you heard. But I’m telling you, it wasn’t what it sounded like. Now I have one question before we start this again. Have I ever lied to you?”

  She frowned and shook her head. He hadn’t removed his hand yet, she could do no more than that.

  “That’s right. So what makes you think I’m lying to you now? What I said to Julia had nothing to do with you and me. She told me I looked unhappy and I was about to tell her I was unhappy with the way she had accosted me on the street! Not that I was unhappy with the fact that I’d married you.” He dropped his hand to his hip, but didn’t step back.

  She felt her knees go weak. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “So you’re not in love with Julia?” She knew he wasn’t, but she wanted to hear him say it.

  There was a short pause and then he gave a long bark of laughter. “No! Not even a little bit.”

  Her heart lurched. “Oh. Good.”

  His laughter settled into a warm, intimate smile as he trailed his fingers across her cheek bone and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, his gaze roving over her face. “You, on the other hand, Mrs. Jordan… You, I am in love with.” He let his hand settle against her shoulder his thumb still stroking her jaw.

  “Oh.” The word was breathy and barely discernible. “But you were so frustrated the other day when you found out….” She stared at his shoulder no longer able to look him in the face.

  Rocky sighed. “I’m sorry about that. I was irritated that you felt I’d think less of you just because you were adopted.”

  Her gaze flew to his. “And you don’t?”

  “No.”

  She swallowed. “What if… what if that man isn’t really my father and my ancestors were bad people? Or what if he is my father but he turns out to be a con man?”

  “That doesn’t matter.”

  She studied his shoulder again. “It matters to me.”

  “Ria,” he tipped her chin up with his thumb, “you are a good person because of your choices and because of who you are in Christ, not because of the blood that flows in your veins.”

  “I know.” She pressed her lips into a pinched line. How did she tell him that she questioned God’s love, most days and she wasn’t at all sure she was the good person he thought her to be. She’d always struggled with believing God could really love her. Maybe it was because of her lineage. She glanced up and met his gaze, trying to find the words to tell him.

  His fingers skimmed along the curve of her chin and traced her mouth, ever so softly. And he must have mistaken the look on her face because he leaned in with clear intentions. She jerked and turned away.

  “Ria, why are you so afraid of letting me get close?”

  “I just…” She shrugged.

  “You can’t avoid all of life’s pain, you know. Life is full of all kinds of ups and downs, love, loss, pain, happiness. I just hope you don’t throw away your allotted moments of blessing by constantly expecting the next tragedy.”

  Was that what she was doing? “It’s just…” She pushed the spoon into the dough. How did she make him understand something she had a hard time understanding herself?

  He reached deep into his pocket and withdrew something. Then held it up between his thumb and finger for her to see.

  It was a ring.

  Her mouth dropped open as she pressed one hand against her heart and studied the small gold band.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Ria. And I meant my vows.” He reached hesitantly for her left hand and when she didn’t resist he slid the ring onto her finger and then enveloped her hand between both of his. “So don’t think you and I last only as long as we have those children. You and I are forever, and I, for one, hope that we can be happy together during the good times, and a strength for each other in the bad ones, because I’m sure we’ll have our share of those, too.” He dropped a quick kiss onto her fingers and then let her go, reaching past her to snitch a pinch of cookie dough. “I’m going to do some checking on the Racklers.” He went out then, shutting the door
behind him.

  She leaned back, stretched her arm out, and stared at the shiny gold band on her trembling hand.

  Rocky raked up the last of the straw and shoveled it into the wheel barrow. Pushing his hat back on his head, he studied Jimmy through the open barn doors. He’d sent the boy outside to feed the chickens. The lad had taken the bucket of feed and dumped it all in one big pile and was now attempting to lasso a corral pole. He chuckled at the way the boy’s jaw jutted to one side each time he canted forward and tossed the saggy loop. But he had to admire his persistence. Jimmy hadn’t snagged the pole yet, but he hadn’t given up, either.

  The chickens scrabbled and flapped. They would set to fighting in earnest if he didn’t get out there and amend the situation. Laying the shovel against the barrow, he pulled off his gloves and stuffed them in his back pocket.

  “Jimmy, come here please.”

  Jimmy glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, Sir. Coming.”

  Someone had taught the boy some manners. Rocky wondered what his story was.

  When Jimmy stepped up to his side, he gestured to the chickens all battling to get to the one small pile of feed at the center of the milling round of feathers. “When you put down feed for chickens you need to scatter it so they all get a chance. Otherwise the stronger ones fight off the weaker ones and then we get injured chickens and a flock that isn’t healthy.”

  “Oh.” Jimmy studied the birds, a light of understanding leaping into his intelligent eyes.

  Rocky clapped him on the shoulder. “Wade on in there carefully and scatter the seed like it needs to be.”

  “But I might get pecked!”

  Rocky suppressed a grin, rubbing one hand over his jaw. “Doesn’t hurt much. And it’ll help you remember to do it right next time.”

  The boy sighed. “Yes, Sir.”

  As he slowly made his way through the churning flock, he looked like he was heading to his doom. The chicken’s cocked their heads and cackled, flapping their wings and dashing out of his path, only to dart back in front of him on a beeline toward the feed. When Jimmy reached the pile of cracked corn at the center he studied it for a moment then looked over as if to ask if Rocky really meant he had to reach his hands down in there and risk the pecking.