And I realized how utterly happy that made me. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t a future for me, that he would hold me back from my true purpose and die long before I hit my Angel-prime. It was that I would hold him back too. If he stayed in love with me, he would never experience a full life: a life of college, dating, marriage, kids, growing old with someone he truly loved. He would forever stand in my shadow and be passed over for obligations and world-ending problems.
Sure, there was love between us. But there wasn’t a life in that love. And because we walked away early, he could still experience that.
In some ways, I was jealous of him. I was completely envious of the simplicity of his life, of the hopes and dreams he could look forward to.
My life would never be that easy- my love never laid-back or straightforward.
He was living a better life without me taking up most of it. He would live a better life without me in it.
I turned around to get in my driver’s seat and that’s when I saw him. He was across the highway, with his hands in his pockets, watching me intently. My heart stopped in my chest and I immediately went over my checklist of weapons- two katanas under my driver’s seat, a long dagger at my thigh. My butterfly knife was gone, but there was another broadsword in my trunk if I needed it.
But he never made a move toward me. He just kept staring.
After a few more moments, he stepped back, disappearing behind the side of the one Mead bank. I felt him go, in my bones I felt his presence disappear from my life.
He was gone now, but he would be back. He would always come back. He could no more stay away from me than I could kill him.
This love, our connection, our consuming need for each other was so strong it would always bind us together. Even if it was damaged, even if it was stained and polluted for now.
It wouldn’t always be.
I had to believe that. I had to believe it would become good again, just like Seth would.
And that I wouldn’t always be alone in this fight against Evil. I wouldn’t always be without the one man that would make this future worth fighting for and this destiny worth accepting.
The next year would be the hardest battle of my life, but the reward was worth the fight. And I would always fight for Seth. Even after there wasn’t anything left for me, there would always be Seth.
And I would fight for him.
I would fight for us.
Acknowledgments
Praise always goes to my God first. Without Him, there would be no books, there would be no stories. He is the reason I write, the reason I create.
To my husband, Zach- the greatest man I know. Thank you for your support, your encouragement and your pep talks. You have been my rock through this whole journey and my reason when I can’t seem to find my own.
To my mom, who babysits for hours upon hours and demands to read my books first. Thank you for being my number one fan, for believing in each one of my stories and for always being there when I need you. I would be so blessed to be a mother like you one day.
To my Stella, you inspired this story and you are the reason I started writing in the first place. I love you, baby girl.
To Carolyn, thank you for all your work! Thank you for putting up with my dashes and finding every place that needed commas. Thank you for making me figure out what I really meant to say. You have an incredible eye! I am so blessed by your skill.
To Sarah Hansen, at Okay Creations, thank you for your general and exceptional awesomeness. You have a way with covers that turns a pretty picture into extraordinary art. You take my concepts and make them gorgeous realities and I am so grateful for your talent!
To Candice, thank you for taking my roughest drafts and finding something good in them! Thank you for your opinion day and night. And thank you for talking me down off the ledge when I am freaking out like a crazy person.
To Diana, thank you for sharing my books with your family and friends and anyone you meet! Thank you for doing your share of editing and finding all my sinful homonyms. And thank you for including my family in your Zombie-Apocalypse escape plan.
To Jenn, thank you for loving Seth so fiercely and for all your threatening texts. Most of all, thank you for missing Jupiter.
To my Hellcats, Georgia Cates, Amy Bartol, Lila Felix, Shelly Crane, Angeline Kace, Quinn Loftis, Michelle Leighton and Samantha Young. You girls are the greatest people I know. Thank you for listening to every exciting thing and sharing that with me, thank you for enduring my insecurities and problems and offering advice and a listening ear. And thank you for having my back, always. You girls have made this independent life into a community of friendship and support and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!
To my Rebels!!! Girls, you are seriously the best team anyone could ask for. Your unending support and excitement for everything I do encourages me daily and gives me energy to keep up this crazy schedule!! I love and listen to your advice and I am blessed to know you all. You’re more than readers, more than a street team. You are friends. And more than my books, I’m grateful for this team so that I can call each of you one.
And to the readers, THANK YOU. This was a pipe dream to me, a someday-maybe-hopefully-thing, and you made it into my reality. Thank you for taking a chance on Stella and Seth and falling in love with them as hard as I did. But most of all, thank you for taking a chance on me. I could not do this without you!!!
About the Author
Rachel Higginson was born and raised in Nebraska, but spent her college years traveling the world. She married her high school sweetheart and spends her days raising their growing family. She is obsessed with bad reality TV and any and all Young Adult Fiction.
Look for more from Rachel in 2013.
Firelight, the third book in the Starbright Series, will be out March, 2014.
Other books by Rachel to be released soon are The Relentless Warrior, the sixth book in The Star-Crossed Series, The Fall, the second book in the Siren Series and more episodes of Love and Decay- a Zombie-Dystopian Novella Series.
Other Books Out Now by Rachel Higginson:
Love and Decay, Episode One
Love and Decay, Episode Two
Love and Decay, Episode Three
Love and Decay, Episode Four
Love and Decay, Episode Five
Love and Decay, Episode Six
Love and Decay, Episode Seven
Love and Decay, Episode Eight
Love and Decay, Episode Nine
Reckless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 1)
Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 2)
Fearless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 3)
Endless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 4)
The Reluctant King (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 5)
Starbright (The Starbright Series, Book 1)
Sunburst (The Starbright Series, Book 2)
The Rush (The Siren Series, Book 1)
Bet in the Dark (A stand-alone NA Contemporary Romance)
Follow Rachel on her blog at:
www.rachelhigginson.com
Or on Twitter:
@mywritesdntbite
Or on her Facebook pages:
Rachel Higginson
Or
Reckless Magic
Keep reading for a sneak peek of The Rush, another young adult paranormal romance by Rachel Higginson.
Chapter Two
“Ah, Ms. Pierce, I wish I could say I was happy to see you,” Mrs. Tanner, the evil witch of a secretary, acknowledged me with a smug smirk that seemed to confirm the fact that yes, in case you were wondering, high school is the ninth ring of hell.
“Oh, Mrs. Tanner, I wish I could say the same thing,” I replied as sweetly as I could. I met her halfway with a long counter in between us.
She was not amused with me.
“You can’t miss anymore school Ivy,” Mrs. Tanner warned and I realized it was practically painful for her to give me advice to heed. This mus
t be coming from the principal, the male principal Mr. Costas. “At least not this semester, unless you have a written note from your doctor. Mr. Costas would like to remind you that you are going to have to work hard enough to catch up this late in the quarter and that skipping, ditching or taking unnecessary sick days will not benefit you toward your goal of graduation.”
“Tell Mr. Costas, I appreciate that he’s looking out for me,” I answered in that same sickly sweet voice I used to annoy the hell out of her.
She ignored me. “Here is your class schedule.”
“Thank you.” I snatched it from her hand and turned on my heel before she offered anymore unsolicited advice.
“The faculty of this school would also like to ask that you not send any more of its students to the hospital,” she called out snidely to my back.
I tensed immediately, my back ramrod straight and my nerves shot to sudden hell. “I’ll do my best,” I ground out and picked up pace.
I just needed to get to the glass door, push it open and get to class.
Fifteen more seconds.
“If you have any extra cash on you, that canister by the door is for Sam’s recovery fund,” she finished on a high note.
I couldn’t help myself. I should have just bolted; and not just from the office, from school, from Omaha, from America…. I should have just gone.
But instead of listening to the sound voice of reason my inner conscience was screaming at me, I let the rotting guilt spread its ugly, vicious wings and glanced down at the canister. There he was. Sam. Smiling and happy in his senior picture that was not at all indicative of what he looked like now…..
The canister was covered with construction paper asking for donations to help with his physical therapy and explaining that he used to be a senior at this school, that he used to be a basketball star, and that he used to be able to walk…. The same life he never got the chance to live before a car accident changed his world forever. The plastic cover had a slit cut out of the top so you could drop money into it, long enough for coins and wide enough for folded up dollar bills.
I couldn’t do this.
I didn’t want to do this.
I felt my breakfast lurch in my very upset stomach. I lunged for the office door knowing even a second more spent trapped in the same room as that canister was going to send me into another breakdown.
Only this time there would be serious consequences to pay.
I threw the door open without seeing. I mean literally I couldn’t see anything. My mind had slipped into the horrific memories of the past and I was pretty sure I could make a solid plea for temporary insanity at this point.
So when I shoved the door with as much force as I was capable of and met shouting resistance and then found myself tripping, toppling over something on the floor, I was completely taken off guard. The situation was made worse when in the middle of my fall I was drenched with severely hot liquid and landed painfully on my back, soaking wet.
I lay there for several moments sprawled out awkwardly on the hard tile before the clearest, deepest gray eyes I had ever seen hovered over me. His thick brow line and hard edges to his tanned face prove he was male, definitely male. Our gazes locked together and I felt uncomfortably immobilized as the liquid I could now identify as coffee started to cool on my shirt and against my skin.
And then those eyes narrowed on me. My eyes flickered to a face that was completely unreadable, in that I couldn’t identify his expression except that it wasn’t good. Like…. he was mad at me. Like, he was pissed at me.
“Let me up,” I growled, confused by his less than stellar reaction.
“Excuse me?” he asked politely, schooling his expression and realistically sounding polite, like he hadn’t heard me correctly.
“Let me up,” I slowed my speech down, thinking he just hadn’t heard me, probably because he was so disconcerted from staring into my eyes.
I’m not being stuck up here. That’s just usually what happened. I was speaking from experience.
“No problem.” He scooted back from me and I scrambled to my feet. He joined me seconds later with two empty coffee cups in his hand.
We both side stepped the spilled coffee puddled in the hallway and I thought for a second that I heard him huff an impatient sigh, but I knew that had to be wrong.
The halls were empty now, and we were left to stare each other down in front of the office. I prayed Mrs. Tanner had gone back to hiding in her hole of a break room; otherwise I needed to be concerned with her swooping down at any moment to haul my ass to the principal’s office. If I was lucky she would demand a detention, but more than likely she would be petitioning for a suspension. She would use this or any other thing she could find against me.
Like I assaulted gray eyes with his hot coffee in an attempt to end any promising future he might have. Like this would be related in some way to Sam.
Realizing that could be the case, I looked down at my shirt hoping to have evidence that I was actually the one assaulted. And then hope turned to irritation when I noticed that it was completely ruined, and uncomfortably sticky and cold. Not that it was a designer shirt…. but the tight fitting, scoop neck black long-sleeved tee looked great with my gray bubble skirt and knee high charcoal boots. And the only extra piece of clothing I even had with me was my favorite hoodie that I wasn’t supposed to wear.
“What am I going to do now?” I bit out, while mystery man watched me from a few feet away.
“Excuse me?” he asked politely again, only this time I heard the faint tones of aggression and confusion.
Not possible.
“You spilled coffee all over me; I don’t have a change of clothes, what am I supposed to do for the rest of the day?” I asked not at all politely.
“I spilled coffee on you?” he asked slowly, his patience growing thin.
I stopped then, in that moment and lifted my eyes to meet his again. He wasn’t looking at me though, his arms were crossed and he was looking around the hallway as if he couldn’t actually believe what was happening and he needed someone else to clue him in. I took his distracted second to look him over.
He was all bad boy with thick layered dark brown hair that was clearly not styled and left messy and sexy from sleep. He had the thick kind of eye lashes that made most girls go crazy, with tanned skin completely in contrast to his silver gray eyes. His gray t-shirt that was just a little too tight, stretched over his biceps deliciously. His low slung jeans completed what might as well have been the uniform for all things wicked.
“Are you seriously going to blame me?” he asked in disbelief, drawing my attention away from the hollow of his throat.
“You spilled coffee on me,” I pointed out, pulling my shirt away from my skin mostly because it was so uncomfortable but also and a bit calculatingly because I knew it would expose my stomach and I was dying to see his reaction to a little skin.
“You came flying out of the office like a bat out of hell and ran into me,” he laughed unbelievably. And not once did his eyes fall to my exposed skin.
“Listen, I don’t have time for this, I’m already late for class,” I ignored his potentially valid point and waited for the part where he would shake off his disbelief and ask for my number.
“You’re seriously unbelievable,” he continued to sound irritated with me and honestly it was a little disconcerting.
“Me?” I gasped. “You’re unbelievable!”
Only I really meant that. Something was wrong. Like maybe I was broken.
Maybe I was broken….?
I had to test this theory, which meant swallowing all of my pride. My entire life thus far had conditioned me to think that nothing was ever my fault and there was always someone else to blame. Usually a man. An apology would take some effort on my part.
“You are one snide little-“
“Wait a second, before you start calling names,” I interrupted him, holding my hand up before he could get any naughty words out of that beaut
iful mouth of his. “You caught me way off guard. I may have been a little defensive,” I relented, not feeling a single word I was saying, but knowing if I wanted to get to the bottom of this I would have to play his game.
“You are apologizing for being defensive?” he clarified, not looking at all pacified.
What the hell?
“Yes, um, that and for running into you,” I mumbled in a rush.
“What was that?” he stepped forward, tightening the arms that were folded across his chest. I knew he heard me…. cocky bastard.
“I apologize for running into you, I was in a hurry,” I offered magnanimously.
“Obviously,” he narrowed his eyes on me again and rocked back on his heels. “It’s fine, I mean, you took most of the hit anyway.” He nodded to my stained shirt and that’s when I realized he was completely dry except for the hem of his t-shirt.
I hesitated for a long moment, feeling irrationally vulnerable under his scrutiny. Which wasn’t fair, because I was usually the one getting to do the scrutinizing. He looked me over for all of three more seconds before seeming to come to an indifferent conclusion.
Which, let’s be honest, confused the hell out of me.
“I can write you a pass,” he offered out of the blue. This was it! This was him showing his true colors! But his tone of voice was not anything like the doting, fawning boys I was used to.
“You can?” I squeaked while still feeling exposed for some strange reason.
“I’m the office aide this hour, which is why I had coffee in the first place,” he motioned to the still wet ground.
Sunburst (Starbright Series) Page 31