by P. K. Tyler
"What are you doing?"
"I don't know, am I doing it wrong?" Zeph asked, his nose nuzzling Nik's hairline.
"No, it's just..."
Another kiss.
"...it's just, you've never..."
Another kiss.
Nik released his hold on Zeph's arm and turned in his embrace so they faced each other.
Zeph ran a hand down the side of Nik's face and Nik felt like he was dying. Like his heart was going to implode or explode or, he didn't know, couldn't think straight, but some part of him was definitely "plode"ing. He closed his eyes, trying to will Zeph's hand to keep going lower.
"Nik?" Zeph's touch hardened as he gripped Nik's chin. He released him and sat up on an elbow, pushing the covers down off Nik's shoulder. "What in the world?"
"What? Do I have some kind of growth or have you really never seen a man nipple before?" Nik opened his eyes and found Zeph staring at him, his eyes wide.
"Shut up, look at you." Zeph waved his hand in front of Nik in what would have been a funny gesture if the man didn't look so completely terrified.
Nik looked down and gasped.
His entire body had healed overnight.
He didn't have one bruise, not one cut, not one burn. It was as if the battle with the demon yesterday had never happened.
"The angels said..." Zeph said running his eyes over Nik's bare chest.
As much as Nik had always wanted his friend to let down his guard and really see him, the moment didn't hold any sexual thrill. Instead, all he felt was awe.
"The angels said what?" Nik prodded.
"They said I could heal you, that they healed Vai because she didn't have an other and that healing you fell to me. That it was my purpose."
"Don't put too much stock in what angels say. They seem like they have secrets." Nik poked at his arm where the worst of the demon's burns had been. "But this is pretty amazing. Wait, does that mean all this time I could have just healed after fights but you being a big prude made me suffer?"
Nik flashed a smile at Zeph and his friend blushed. A bloom of pink and red rose in his cheeks and, for the first time, Nik didn't just find him sexy and amazing, but downright adorable.
"I'm sorry Nik. I didn't know. I thought I was helping, staying away."
"I'm kidding. Hey," Nik sat up as Zeph started to withdraw into himself. "You know how I am, I can't handle real shit so I make it a joke. I didn't mean to... fuck, this is all weird for me, too. I mean. Am I allowed to kiss you now? Are we, are we trying to be together, or are you going back to the church when we leave here? There's a lot of fucking questions, but right now, I'm just happy you're here. Healing powers or not."
Zeph looked up, his green eyes moist under long, dark lashes. He took Nik's breath away.
He leaned forward, cupping his friend's cheek in his large hand, and brought his lips down to Zeph's. The kiss started simple and slow, tentative. Last night, he'd been so tired and confused that when Zeph kissed him, he'd barely been able to keep his mind straight. This morning, though, his body tingled with the power flowing between them.
Their love had healed him. Zeph's touch hadn't just soothed his heart, it had knit his bruised and bloodied body back together. Their connection wasn't just lust or love, it was mystic, part of something bigger.
Normally Nik wouldn't be able to stand such cheesy, squishy thoughts, but this morning, he had a whole new perspective. The man he never thought could love him back was here, holding his body tight.
Zeph wrapped an arm around Nik's middle and pulled him close to his chest. They lay in the bed facing one another as their tongues danced.
Nik ran his hand down Zeph's chest. His skin felt like satin stretched tight over hard muscles. He traced the line of his friend's pec, then down to his abdomen where muscles stacked one on top of the next.
"Fuck, you're hot," Nik mumbled against Zeph's mouth.
Zeph stroked the skin on Nik's back with his hand, cradling his neck as he kissed him, pulling his hair slightly, making Nik's eyes roll back in his head.
Without thinking, Nik rolled to his back so that Zeph lay draped across his chest. When Zeph's lower half came into contact with Nik's thigh, the two men moaned simultaneously.
Zeph tensed, his arms suddenly rigid.
Don't get scared. Don't run away again. I don't think I'll survive it if you leave this time.
Nik lifted his torso off the bed, begging Zeph with his mouth to love him back. He kissed him, gripped his waist, and moved his hips so that his thigh rubbed against Zeph's hardness.
"I love you," he whispered against the priest's neck. "I've always loved you. I've only loved you."
Zeph's mouth came back to meet Nik, hard. Their teeth scraped and Zeph attacked him, his hands everywhere, exploring Nik's body and arms and face. His hips ground down, stroking against Nik's body with hard thrusts.
Nik lost himself in the feeling of skin against skin, their bare chests pressed tight together. He ran his hand down Zeph's side, feeling the ribs and tight waist finally being offered to him. He slipped a hand inside Zeph's pants and gripped his ass, pulling him harder against him and encouraging the rutting passion.
Zeph licked his way down Nik's neck, nibbling and tasting his skin, sending jolts of passion and need through him. He moved his body down, peppering Nik's chest with kisses. When he reached the nipple, he circled it with his tongue.
"How do you know what to do?" Nik's voice cracked as Zeph nipped at his nipple gently.
"I read."
"I thought porn was against one of those commandments."
Zeph lifted his head and stared at Nik. Sunlight streamed across the small room, highlighting his brown hair. "Do you want to talk theology or..." he raised his eyebrows.
"Fuuuuck..." Nik laid back as Zeph's hands reached lower, rubbing his hips, his inner thighs, and finally, just when he thought he was going to have to beg for it, his cock.
The thin fabric of his boxers separated Zeph's hand from his erection, but Nik swore it was the best thing he'd ever felt. Better than every random fuck he'd had over the years, every hook up, every backroom blow job. Bundle them all together and it still didn't come close to the feeling of Zeph's strong hand stroking him.
Zeph kissed lower on Nik's abdomen, leaving a trail of shivering flesh and jumping muscles.
Nik felt like a teenager again. Never been kissed or some such shit. He watched as Zeph positioned himself lower and ran his nose along the waistband of Nik's boxers. Holy Fuck, this is really happening. He'd never let himself really imagine being with Zeph. The idea would have made him insane. Instead, he survived on memories and stolen touches. The sight before him almost made him come without ever feeling Zeph's lips wrapped around him.
Beautiful green eyes looked up at him with a question. "You don't have to... I mean, if you want to stop..." Nik breathed out, hating the thought that this moment might end but unwilling to do anything Zeph might regret.
His friend's smile reassured his heart.
"No, you idiot. I just wanted to see your face." Zeph reached around Nik's waist and tugged on his boxers, pulling them low.
Nik raised his hips, bumping his cock against Zeph's arm. The contact almost made him explode. He kicked off his boxers and moved up the bed a little so he could rest his head on the pillow.
Zeph sat next to his hips, his hands on Nik's thighs. A small smile played on his face as he studied Nik's body. He danced his long fingers across Nik's taut stomach, making him flex and his muscles jump.
Nik wanted to touch him, wanted to feel Zeph's skin against his own. He sat up, again surprised that nothing hurt, only to be pushed back down by the full weight of Zeph's body.
Zeph laid on top of Nik's naked body and twisted his fingers through his hair before delivering another needy kiss.
Nik spread his legs and bent one knee so Zeph could settle against him. Together, their bodies fit perfectly. Hard and desperate kisses became pants and whimpers as they moved their
hips in rhythm together.
"Oh my God," Nik whispered, scrapping his short nails down Zeph's back. He reached inside Zeph's pants and grabbed his ass, increasing the friction between them as he rocked up against his body. Their cocks lined up perfectly, Zeph's pants separating their flesh.
Zeph buried his head into Nik's neck and kissed the sensitive skin, pulling it into his mouth with wet, passionate lips.
"You feel so good," Zeph moaned, wrapping an arm around Nik's waist so he could pull him tighter.
Nik was usually a top, but with Zeph, all he wanted was to be taken, to be loved and owned and possessed by the amazing man he'd been waiting for his whole life. Zeph wasn't ready for anything like that, Nik knew, and he didn't want to push, but the aching need to be fucked senseless grew until it was painful.
He pushed Zeph's pants down below his ass and tried to shimmy them down off his hips.
"Wait," Zeph pulled away and looked into Nik's eyes. "Is this too fast?"
Nik tried to calm his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep from screaming: No, it's not too fucking fast! It's been ten years! He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.
"It's entirely up to you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to push." His voice shook with the effort it took not to roll over and get on his hands and knees and just beg Zeph to take him.
"You aren't." Zeph smiled; the real one, not the one he used with parishioners but the one that showed the depths of his heart. "I just don't want to do something wrong or, I don't know..."
"Are you nervous?"
"Yeah." Zeph blushed. "I mean, I've never... and you've..."
"None of it mattered. Not ever. None of it was more than filling time while I waited for you." Nik grabbed Zeph and pulled him down to his lips. He could cry from the sweetness of his mouth.
The tension in the room ramped from electric to nuclear as Zeph climbed back up Nik's body, took his mouth in his, and ran his fingers through the dark hair below Nik's waist.
The Sin Eater's breath stopped and the whole world flashed a brilliant white behind his closed eyes as Zeph's touch wrapped around him.
He moaned into the other man's mouth and tried to hold still, to be patient and loving the way Zeph deserved.
Far away, an echo screamed his name, but he didn't care.
And then Zeph's hand was gone, and his lips pulled away, and Nik was forced to open his eyes and leave his moment of absolute perfection.
Anahita stood in the doorway, a scowl on what had once been a beautiful face. "There is trouble."
Nik scrambled to pull the blanket over his naked body while Zeph grabbed his clothes from the floor.
"We'll be right there," Zeph said.
"Hurry, blood has already been spilt." The angel turned and stormed out of the door, leaving it wide open and removing any hope Nik had of returning to their private moment.
"Zeph," Nik began, reaching for his boxers.
"It's okay," the priest smiled at him, but it was strained. He pulled his black shirt on and tucked it in quickly. "We'll talk later, there's more going on here than us."
He walked out of the room without a kiss or another word and Nik threw himself back on the bed. He felt like he'd fucked things up, like he'd done something so irrevocably wrong that he would never get another chance. But it hadn't been him. Zeph started it. Zeph kissed him.
So why did he feel so guilty and like he'd just lost his only chance?
Chapter Four
Zeph followed Anahita out of the room, his insides roiling like thunderclouds. Why am I so nervous, now? Even the angels said we belonged together. What we did, almost did, wasn't wrong. Was it?
As they walked down the hall, he tried to straighten his clothes some more. He probably looked like a wild animal. He ran his fingers through his hair, the motion reminding him of Nik.
I miss him. The thought struck him, adding a lightning bolt to the raging storm within. He's right there, in the next room, but I miss him. Walking away from Nik had been almost painful, like a rubber band stretching to its limit. He and Nik had lost touch for a while, and Zeph had struggled with his anger more in those days, without his best friend's presence nearby. Lover? Almost. He could be.
The word sounded wrong. But what word sounded right? Best friend was apt, but Nik was so much more than that. There was no denying it anymore. Nik was not just his best friend. He was more, but what?
Husband, some day?
Stranger things had happened. An angel had interrupted them, for fuck's sake.
Forgive me, Father.
Zeph chuckled at the absurdity of praying for forgiveness for saying the word "fuck" when he'd done much worse things. Recently.
No, that wasn't wrong. I know the difference between temptation and love. I love Adel, I know what love is.
Adel.
Any of them would kill her as soon as they got the chance, of that he was certain.
He and Anahita walked into the living room to find a small group of gypsies sitting on the couch, various chairs, and even the floor. A little girl clung to her mother as Vai whispered something to the woman, their bare feet bloody and filthy in high contrast to Vai's white sneakers.
A Romani man with broad shoulders stood protectively to Vai’s side, one hand on the small of her back.
"Nikolai will join us soon," Anahita announced.
The crowd of bedraggled Roma turned and Zeph felt the need to explain who he was and straighten his clothes. He wished he had his collared shirt on so it was clear what role he filled. But he wasn't here as a priest, and, for once, he couldn't hide behind the authority that title afforded him.
An older woman entered the room, carrying a tray of mugs and a teapot. She shuffled slightly and Vai rushed to take the burden from her hands.
"Puri Daj, sit down. You don't have to take care of everyone."
Tears sprung to the woman's eyes as she stared at Elemiah standing in the corner. "It's what Ma would want."
Vai guided her to the couch and held her hand as they waited.
The little girl began to cry and her mother picked her up, singing a song in a language Zeph couldn't place but which rolled over his ears like a balm.
Nik stormed into the room, a dark cloud of energy entering the already combustible atmosphere. He scowled at Anahita, and Zeph lowered his eyes to the floor. He couldn't explain the emotions that Nik's appearance brought out in him. He was relieved, excited, terrified, and nervous. He expected guilt, but it never came.
"What's going on?" Nik said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, showing off his compact strength.
"You appear healed," Elemiah spoke from her corner. "Good, we need you at full strength. I'm glad the priest was able to perform.
Heat rose in Zeph's cheeks. What did they think he'd done? What did they think he and Nik had done together? They're angels and they thought he slept with Nik. God would surely know. Even if they hadn't, he'd done enough. The thought made his stomach roll and, finally, the shame he'd been anticipating broke out across his skin like hives.
"I'm fine. Now can you explain to me what we're all doing up at the ass crack of dawn?" Nik's mouth turned downward, his frown giving him a predatory look.
Zeph's pulse raced. He wanted his Nik back. The one with the soft words and desperate kisses. He wanted it to be just them again and for all this insanity to go away.
"The demons have attacked," Anahita said. "The demon possessing the woman your priest brought here has summoned others and the beast, Belial, is near."
"They killed Landin," the woman holding the crying child whispered.
"Dorenia..." Vai said.
“It’s true, they killed him. They killed my husband, my children’s father. Riley lives, but my man is dead and now I’m alone.”
The man who had hovered near Vai pulled Dorenia into his arms, sandwiching the child between them.
Another man sitting near the door stood. His clothes were muddy and a cut dripped blood down his cheek. "We ran. They just s
howed up and... the children were..."
"My parents?" Vai asked and the man shook his head.
"I didn't see them, but everyone was running and there was so much blood. I should have fought harder." The man brought his hands to his face as his voice cracked.
"You cannot fight this," Elemiah spoke kindly, and, for a moment, Zeph could imagine what kind of woman Ma must have been. "Your only hope for survival was to flee. You've done the right thing, coming here."
"It's time to end this." Vai stood.
The man returned to Vai's side, tried to grasp her arm. "Vai, wait. You don't know what's out there."
"No, Riley, you don't know what's out there."
"But–"
"Enough." Vai kept the distance between them, and Riley pinched his lips tight together, like he very much wanted to speak but would obey her wishes, for the moment. Zeph wondered what that was all about.
Vai turned to Nik. "They're taunting us, attacking the community instead of coming right at us. Let's gear up."
"Wait," Zeph spoke up, his hands shaking. "What about Adel?"
"She's lost, Priest," Anahita said. "We've told you this already. Accept it and mourn her or it will be harder to do what's necessary."
"What do you mean, 'what's necessary?'"
"Zeph..." Nik began, but his voice faded out and he shook his head. "I told you, if her soul is lost to the demon within her, there's nothing we can do."
"No, you've exorcised possessions before. You've been doing it since we met. You can just..." Zeph waved his hands in the air in front of him at Nik, pleading for him to fix this.
"This is different," Nik said, his eyes hopeless.
"She's my sister."
Dorenia glared at him. "She killed my husband. She's beng."
“We have to strike back. Our people, our brothers and sisters, are dead. An eye for an eye, I say,” Riley said, a fiery conviction now shining in his eyes.
"So many lives lost," the old woman said from the couch, and the man by the door turned and punched the wall.
"There is no time for debate," Anahita said. "You will wait for us here with the others if you don't have the fortitude to do what's necessary."