Breaking Matthew

by Jennifer H. Westall

  Since Emma Rae and the baby were asleep, and the men had returned to the fields, I took the opportunity for a quiet walk around the property to give thanks for my answered prayers. Heading across the grass toward the barn, my mind full of thanks and praise, I could hardly contain my joy at my new little nephew. I began singing ‘All Hail the Pow’r of Jesus’s Name,’ lifting my hands as I walked.

  As I rounded the side of the barn, I saw James and Mr. Calhoun standing with another man talking, so I quit singing. I was about to turn and head the other direction, when James shifted to one side, and I got a clear view of the third man with them. It was Chester Calhoun.

  Before I could catch myself I gasped, but none of them seemed to have heard me. They just kept right on talking while I stood frozen. Fear snatched all my reason away, and I couldn’t think of what to do. If I ran, he’d see me. If I stood still, he’d see me. What if he came after me again? My insides went cold, and goosebumps spread over my whole body. I could hear his voice in my head, dripping with venom. Look at you. Treating them Negroes like they’s equal to you. Like you don’t know no better.

  I had to move. I took one step backward, as slowly as I could. Then another one. I couldn’t turn around ’cause I was sure as soon as I did, he’d be on me, kicking me and beating me over the head. So I took two more steps backward. Then two more. Finally, I was around the corner of the barn, and I let out my breath. I leaned against the side of the barn, bent over, and heaved like I’d just run a mile. My heart beat so loud in my ears I couldn’t hardly think.

  Lord, please help me, I prayed. I can’t move. Help me.

  The Holy Spirit moved through me, and my fear quieted enough for my reason to return. I slowed my breathing, and I stilled the voice in my mind screaming for me to run. When everything was finally quiet, I prayed again, asking God what to do.

  As clear as day, I heard a whisper in the breeze. Samuel.

  Samuel was on that farm somewhere. And I had to find him immediately. I took off running around the other side of the barn and toward the cotton field on the far west side of the property. Only the colored workers were supposed to go in those fields, especially when Chester had been running things. But I’d have to take a chance.

  I reached the field in a couple of minutes and searched all over for the familiar caramel-colored skin that stood out among the rest. I had to force my mind to slow down and look carefully at each person out there. I ran up and down a few rows. I even asked a couple of the colored workers if they knew him, but the closest I got to an answer was an old man who shook his head and kept on tugging at the cotton plants.

  I ran back toward the big house, thinking maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe I hadn’t heard what I thought I’d heard. Usually, God’s voice was as clear as could be. Quiet, but clear. Maybe my fear had made me imagine things.

  I was about fifty yards from the barn when I saw Chester emerge from the house. I stopped where I was; my feet ready to tear off in any direction but toward him. He marched over to the barn, his massive arms swinging with purpose. I held my breath, hoping he wouldn’t see me and would turn toward the fields so I could hightail it down to James’s house and hide. But he held his course, so I waited, still barely breathing.

  Yanking open the large side door, he stepped inside. I took a few steps back, trying to remember just which direction James’s house was in. I looked around and got my bearings. South. I needed to run south. Past the barn.

  Chapter Three

  Matthew

  Early Monday morning, I walked Vanessa over to her parents’ car while our folks said their goodbyes. She looked up at me with some apprehension. “Something’s on your mind. I can tell. Is it the interviews?”

  I nodded, grateful for the excuse. I hadn’t told her about my attempt to speak with Ruby. “I want to make sure I can provide for us, is all. Father’s just waiting for me to botch things up.”

  She smiled and ran her hand along the collar of my shirt. “I’m sure you’ll do great. And your father will be very proud of you. You’ve worked hard to get yourself here, and everything’s going to work out fine. You’ll see.”

  I was reminded again of why I loved her. She knew me well enough to know when something was off, but she didn’t push. She listened to me, encouraged me without criticism. She’d make a good wife and mother someday. I was blessed to have had her love for these past few years. My family adored her, especially Mary. We were a good match. A good match.

  “I’ll call you in a few days when I’ve finished with the interviews,” I said. “Then I can start looking for a place for us to live.”

  Her eyes lit up. “Oh! Nashville is going to be wonderful!”

  I kissed her on the forehead, and helped her into the car as her parents approached. I shook Mr. Paschal’s hand and told him I’d see him soon. He wished me luck before climbing inside. Then I walked over to Mother. Together we watched them drive away.

  Mother’s eyes were damp as I put my arm over her shoulder. “Suppose it’s my turn now,” I said.

  She squeezed my waist tight. “When can we expect you home again?”

  “Soon, I promise. I’ll be around a lot more often. I already told Mary I’d go see her at school. I know I’ve been a lousy son and brother, but I’m going to make it right, I swear.”

  “Oh honey, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. Why don’t you come back next weekend after your interviews so we can all celebrate together?”

  I grabbed my suitcase from beside the front door. I wanted so badly to make her happy, I might have agreed to just about anything at that point. “That sounds like a fine idea.”

  Her smile spread across her face, reassuring me all would work out as it should. I hugged her goodbye, walked over to my car, and threw the last suitcase in the back. Then I climbed inside and cranked it up. Only one more stop before heading to Nashville. It was time to make things right with Ruby, and this time I wasn’t going to let her walk away.

  “Why, Matthew Doyle!” Mrs. Fisher shouted through the screen door at me after I’d knocked a couple of times. “I haven’t seen you in these parts in ages!”

  She pulled open the door for me to step inside the foyer, but she didn’t even wait for me to get my whole body inside before she threw her great big arms around me. I did my best to return the hug and still maintain the ability to breathe.

  “Hidey, Mrs. Fisher,” I managed.

  She let go of me and shooed me through the foyer toward the sweet smells coming from the kitchen. “Come on in here and get you something good to eat. I got all kinds of breads and cookies sitting around just waiting on some young fella to finish ’em off.”

  “Mrs. Fisher, I really can’t stay long,” I protested. She kept herding me into the kitchen. I had to admit the smell was making my mouth water. Maybe I could just grab a few bites.

  “Take a seat,” she said, and placed a plateful of cookies on the table. “Have as many as you want.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “Thank you, kindly. They do look delicious.” I sat down and helped myself to an oatmeal cookie while she gathered up two loaves of bread and another plate of cookies, and brought those over as well.

  “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?” she asked, plopping all the food in front of me.

  “I was hoping you might be able to tell me where I could find Miss Ruby.”

  “Well, let’s see here. She and Dr. Fisher tore out of here before sunup this morning, heading over to the Calhoun farm. Emma Rae was delivering her baby, you know. I reckon Dr. Fisher got back about a half hour ago and said Miss Ruby was staying at the farm for the day to help Emma Rae.”

  I shoved a cookie in my mouth and wondered if maybe it would be better to wait for another chance to talk to Ruby. The thought of heading back out to the Calhoun place wasn’t appealing, especially with a brand new baby and Emma Rae needing her attention. I supposed I could come home the next weekend as I’d promised Mother. But I felt uneasy about waiting. I’d
put off making things right for far too long, and if I waited another week, I might just talk myself out of it again.

  I took a handful of cookies off the plate and pushed myself up from the table. “Well, thank you for the delicious cookies, Mrs. Fisher.”

  “You running off already, son?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I got to head on up to Nashville today, so I should get moving. Give Dr. Fisher my best if you don’t mind.”

  She came over and drowned me in her arms again. “I just praise the good Lord every time I see you looking so fine and healthy. You’re a walking miracle, you know it?”

  That was one way of putting things. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You take care of yourself, you hear?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I managed to slide out of her arms and out the door. Driving toward the Calhoun farm again, an uneasy feeling worked its way through me. It was going to be hard enough to face Ruby and the mistakes of my past without having to revisit that place. I considered turning north the entire time I was driving. I kept telling myself I could just talk to her the next weekend, but something, some kind of force I couldn’t explain, held my course steady all the way to the Calhoun place.

  As soon as I pulled in front of the main house, that uneasiness in my gut multiplied a thousand times. People milled around the large oak trees in front of the house, and parked down between the main house and the barn were the sheriff’s and coroner’s cars.

  I stepped out into the brisk breeze, figuring it was best to hang back and see if I could learn what was going on. So I meandered over to one of the trees where a couple of men were talking. I assumed they were some of Calhoun’s field hands or sharecroppers from the surrounding land. When I approached, the older one tipped his hat to me.

  “Mornin’ fellas,” I said. “Looks like quite a fuss going on ’round here.”

  “Sure is,” the younger one said. He was filthy, covered in earth and sweat. He pointed toward the barn. “They all in a mess down there. If you got business with Calhoun, probably best to come back ’nother day.”

  “Any idea what happened?” I asked.

  The older man mashed his white eyebrows down low on his forehead. “Some poor fella’s died down at the barn, best we can tell. Someone said it’s Calhoun’s eldest son. We heard the old man hollerin’ just a while ago. Sounded awful tore up.”

  The man had to be wrong. Chester wouldn’t be on the farm! Calhoun had kicked him off the property and out of the family. Surely it couldn’t be Chester? But I also couldn’t help thinking that if it was indeed him, a part of me was glad he’d finally gotten what he deserved.

  “Either of you seen James Graves?” I asked. I figured he’d know something.

  The older one pointed off toward the barn again. “He’s down there with ’em. Like he said, you’d do best to come back ’nother day.”

  I tipped my hat and bid them good day, then I wandered across the yard closer to the barn. Another group of men and women were standing nearby, the women clicking their tongues and shaking their heads. They were plenty sorry for Calhoun losing his son just when they seemed to be working out their differences. So I figured it must be true. I was about to turn around and leave, having made up my mind the conversation with Ruby would just have to wait. But one of their comments stopped me in my tracks.

  “…just find it hard to believe is all, that a young girl like that could kill a full grown man.”

  A cold dread worked its way up my back and into my chest. I turned to the lady who’d spoken. “Excuse me, ma’am. Did I hear you right? Did you say a young girl killed Chester Calhoun?”

  There was no mistaking the eagerness in her eyes. She stepped closer, lowering her voice like she was sharing a fantastic scandal. “Oh, yes. I saw her come out of the barn with the sheriff, and she had blood all over her hands and clothes. Looked a fright!”

  “Do you know who the girl is?”

  “I’ve seen her around before. Think the last name’s Graves…”

  Words continued to spill from her lips, but I didn’t hear the rest of what she said. Imagining Chester attacking Ruby again, my blood went white hot and I ran straight to the barn, ignoring whatever else the woman was trying to tell me. I searched the area around the sheriff’s car and the ambulance, but no one was there. Heading around to the back of the barn, I encountered the commotion.

  Several more workers from around the farm, as well as neighbors from the area, were standing around talking in hushed voices, their eyes darting over toward Ruby. She was seated on a hay bale beside James, her eyes dazed and staring out into the fields. Her hands were stained red, and blood was smeared on her dress and across her cheek. My throat knotted up. I wanted to rush over to her, but I was afraid she wouldn’t want to see me, and I had no idea what to say.

  James leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees, and his right leg bouncing up and down as he looked around at all the people gathering. Just as I was about to walk over to them, the back door flew open and slammed against the side of the barn. A deputy stepped backward through the door, followed by Sheriff Gary Peterson. I only knew him a bit from hearing Father talk about him. He had a reputation for being tough but fair. He and the deputy, who I recognized as a former classmate, carried a body between them. It was covered with a large blanket, an arm swinging lifelessly from underneath it.

  With cryptic expressions they walked the body over to the ambulance and loaded it into the back. Then the sheriff went over to talk to Ruby. Her eyes were wide, and she shook her head vehemently throughout their exchange. I edged closer to them so I could hear properly.

  “James, soon as she’s up to it, I’m gonna need her to come to the office and explain all this in detail,” the sheriff said.

  James nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Sheriff Peterson stared down at Ruby for a long moment, studying her carefully. Then he spat some tobacco on the ground and headed back inside the barn. I came over to James and knelt down beside him. He looked at me like he didn’t know who I was.

  “What can I do to help?” I said.

  His face flushed pink. “I don’t know. I can’t even think straight.”

  I looked over at Ruby, and she met my gaze with red-rimmed eyes. She covered her mouth with a bloodstained hand.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  She shook her head, and a tear slipped down her cheek.

  James jumped up and began pacing, his boots kicking up dust. “We don’t need this right now, Ruby,” he growled. “Not this.” He bent over and glared at her. “I swear you’re determined to destroy this family.”

  “Hey,” I said. “That’s not gonna help anything.”

  He turned his glare on me. “How does this involve you? You think you can show up after all these years and jump into our business?”

  I stood, and we faced each other at our full heights. “I just want to help, James. I ain’t the enemy. Tell me what I can do to help.”

  He gestured toward Ruby and let out a frustrated puff of air. “You know as well as I do there ain’t nothin’ to be done with her. She’s pig-headed and determined to do everything she can to get the white sheets after her! Now look what’s happened!” He stepped closer and lowered his voice to an intense whisper. “You know Chester’s one of ’em. No telling’ what they’re gonna do now!”

  I looked down at Ruby, and her face drained of all color. She shook her head and whispered. “I couldn’t…I tried, James. He just came at me…and I couldn’t—”

  Just then, the sheriff walked over holding something in a piece of cloth. He lowered his hands so Ruby could see. It was a medium-sized pocketknife covered in blood. “Miss Ruby, do you recognize this?”

  She stared at it, her eyes widening like she was horrified. She looked up at the sheriff then down at the knife again. “I…I think…it’s his maybe.” Tears flowed steadily down her cheeks now.

  I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t scratch that itc
h in the back of my mind. “Sheriff, why don’t James and I take her down to his place, clean her up and let her calm down. We’ll bring her into town later today to tell you everything.”

  The sheriff looked at me like he thought I was up to something, but then he surveyed the growing crowd. “Guess we can do that. This place is ’bout to turn into a circus anyway.” He turned to James. “You get her down to the office this afternoon, and let’s get this cleared up. The sooner the better. For everyone.”

  “Yes, sir,” James said, taking Ruby by the arm and helping her stand. She grimaced and clutched her side.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Are you hurt?”

  She shook her head, but it took her a moment to get her breath back. “Just some bruised ribs. I’m all right.”

  Her eyes met mine, and I held her gaze long enough for my chest to stir. “Maybe we should get Dr. Fisher.”

  “No,” she said. “Really, I can tell they’re only bruised. I want to get away from here.”

  I decided to drop it for the moment. As we pushed our way through the crowd, I noticed the sheriff watching us. He spat again, and then tipped his hat and stepped back into the barn.

  Ruby sat in a rocking chair by the fireplace, staring at the fire James had built moments earlier. She clutched the blanket around her shoulders and shivered like it was the dead of winter. James and I stood in the dining area watching her and glancing at each other every minute or so.

  I finally broke the eerie silence. “What in blazes happened up there?”

  James closed his eyes and shook his head. Then he took a seat at the table and motioned for me to join him. “I ain’t rightly sure. I was working in the cotton field when Luke Dalton runs up to me and says Ruby’s hurt or something. I take off with him to the barn, and when we get inside, Ruby’s sitting a few feet away from Chester’s body. Blood’s all over both of ’em, and Ruby’s sitting there, still as a statue…” James ran his hand through his hair. “I go over and ask her if she’s all right.” Leaning forward, he held my gaze. “Then she looks right at me and says, ‘I did it. I killed him.’ Says he came at her just like last time and she killed him.”