Illusion of Love

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Illusion of Love Page 12

by Patricia Lake

She quickly scanned the food on the long, polished sideboard and felt sick, pouring herself a cup of strong black coffee before sitting down. She sat staring down at her cup and the silence stretched between them uncomfortably. She wanted to say something, anything, just to get things started, but the words wouldn't come.

  She sipped her coffee. It was too hot, scalding the roof of her mouth. She knew that Dean was watching her. What was he waiting for? Why didn't he say something? She felt a stab of irritation at his weakness. She was seeing a side of him she had never known, never noticed before. She had been so blind, so stupid, she could hardly believe it. She raised her eyes to meet his and saw a defensive pleading on his face. He half- smiled at her seriousness. 'Oh, Stephanie,' he said with quiet persuasion. She said nothing. She looked at him and suddenly felt calm, able to cope with anything he said. She felt older, a woman in charge of her own life.

  'You don't have to explain about last night,' she began steadily, 'What I——'

  'I want to,' he cut in, not giving her a chance to finish. 'You-must know that Carina means nothing to me. Last night '

  'Last night, I shouldn't have barged into your room,' she interrupted, amazed that Dean could profess to feel nothing for a woman he had made love to only the night before. And she suddenly knew for certain that there had been others—many others that she had never known about. She could see it in his eyes.

  'Why?' she asked quietly. 'Why, Dean?'

  He shrugged, running a hand through his thick fair hair. 'She was available. She offered herself on a plate, and you don't turn down what's offered. But you've got to believe me, Stephanie, it meant nothing, and it won't happen again.'

  'It has happened before, then?' she asked painfully.

  He answered her with silence. She could believe that it meant nothing to him, but she could not understand it. She could not understand how he could have casual affairs with other women, when he was already engaged to her. It would have been better if they had meant something; she could have accepted that. She looked at him and inwardly sighed. He was an opportunist, a gambler. It was in his nature and he would never change.

  'I can't marry you,' she told him sadly, her words dropping into the silence like cold stones.

  Dean stared at her, frowning. 'Because of last night?' he demanded impatiently, incredulously.

  Stephanie got to her feet and walked over to the windows, wrapping her arms around herself. 'No, not because of last night,' she said, not looking at him. 'It's nothing to do with that.'

  'You're a liar.' He was behind her now. 'Stephanie, honey, don't let a stupid thing like this spoil what we have. I swear to you, it will never happen again,' he repeated, his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him.

  'It doesn't matterV she told him fiercely. 'I mean that.' She was beginning to feel guilty even though she knew he was making promises he would be unable to keep, given the kind of opportunity Carina had given him last night. He was so charming, so sincere, so sorry.

  'Then what the hell is it?' he demanded roughly.

  She nervously licked her lips. 'I've known that I can't marry you for quite a while. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, last night.' She paused, searching for the right words, hating what she was doing. 'Oh, Dean, can't you see? We love each other as friends, but if we married, it would be a disaster, it wouldn't last five minutes. You must know that in your heart.'

  Dean stared at her as though seeing her for the very first time. 'You're talking bloody rubbish,' he said coldly, all persuasive charm leaving him, as anger hardened his face. 'What's the matter with you, anyway? A lousy one-night stand and you want to break off our engagement? Everything's over?'

  Stephanie felt her eyes filling with tears, hurt by his sudden anger.

  'Why don't you listen to me?' she demanded shakily. 'And stop treating me like a child! I can't marry you. We don't love each other enough, we don't love each other the right way.'

  'No?' His mouth twisted with scorn, his hands tightening on her shoulders, hurting her uncaringly, in anger. 'What the hell do you know about love, anyway? I want you, I've wanted you for years, and I'm going to have you.' He gritted furiously. 'We've been playing your games for far too long!'

  'Dean. . .. Dean, please. . . .' Stephanie felt frightened of him for the first time in her life. She hadn't realised that breaking off their engagement would be such a blow to his pride. He didn't love her, she knew that for certain now. He wanted her, and she saw the ruthlessness beneath the charming mask.

  'Please?' he laughed mockingly. 'You want out? It's not going to be that easy, honey.'

  'There was someone else!' she shouted in desperation. 'I let him . . . kiss me ... it made me realise. . . .'

  'Another man?' Dean's eyes were dangerous, as he saw his prize slipping away from him.

  Stephanie nodded, her eyes enormous, and he swore violently. 'You bloody little hypocrite!' he snapped savagely. 'Well, that's it, we're finished. I'm the one who wants out.'

  She didn't realise his intention until his mouth forced her lips apart. It was a brutal, punishing kiss, totally devoid of tenderness. She fought him, beating at his chest with small clenched fists, fearful of the contemptuous lust in his mouth, in his hands.

  At last she managed to tear her mouth from beneath his. 'No, Dean, please don't....' Her voice was shaking badly.

  'You heard the lady, Sangster, don't.' Luke's cool hard voice broke between them, and Stephanie had never felt more relieved to see him. Dean's body stiffened and she looked up over his shoulder to see Luke in the doorway, his eyes bleak, his mouth tight with anger.

  'Mind your own damn business, Baroda!' Dean snapped, not turning, still staring at Stephanie, his breath coming harshly, his eyes still glazed with lust.

  'It is my business,' Luke replied in a smooth icy voice. 'Let her go.'

  Stephanie could hear the threat of violence in his cold words. Dean heard it too. She saw his face change, his hands dropping from her.

  'I think I'm beginning to understand,' he said unpleasantly, his meaning clear.

  Luke stepped into the room and Stephanie looked at him, her eyes pleading. She didn't think she could bear any more trouble. Her knees felt like jelly, her heart was pounding suffocatingly.

  Dean turned then, sensing and reacting to the threat of violence emanating from Luke. He looked at them both once, before striding from the room without a word.

  Stephanie stared after him, shaking like a leaf. Luke watched her, his eyes very dark, his mouth still tight and angry.

  'Oh God!' she whispered, pressing a hand to the pulse beating so hurriedly in her throat. 'What have I done?'

  'What have you done?' he asked coolly, moving towards her.

  She looked at him, staring into his face, taking in the taut bones, the dark green of his eyes, the firm strength of his mouth.

  'I've broken off my engagement,' she told him in a trembling voice.

  'Stephanie ' His voice was low and gentle. He

  reached out his hand to touch her cheek, but she shrank away in panic.

  'Don't touch me!' she whispered, irrationally blaming him, because he had sewn the first seeds of doubt about Dean in her mind. 'I couldn't bear it!'

  Luke's face hardened, becoming blank, shuttered, and his hand dropped.

  'The solicitors will be here at noon,' he reminded her in a clipped voice.

  Stephanie smiled hysterically. 'I'd forgotten all about that,' she said, with wild laughter in her voice, and turning away from him, ran from the room to find some privacy, where she could try and make some sense of what had just happened.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  BY the time Stephanie got back to the house after a long walk along the cliffs, it was eleven o'clock. She had just enough time to grab a cup of coffee and change before the solicitors arrived.

  Unfortunately, Carina was in the dining room. Stephanie sighed.

  'Good morning,' she said with polite dismay, as she reached for the coffee pot.

&nbs
p; Carina smiled that secretive acid smile that Stephanie hated. 'Good morning, darling. I'm glad I've caught you—I wanted a word before the solicitors arrived.'

  Stephanie glanced at her watch. 'You'll have to be quick,' she said coolly, 'I've a lot to do.'

  For some reason she was no longer intimidated by Carina, even though she saw the flash of irritation in her half-sister's eyes.

  'In that case, I'll come straight to the point. It's about last night. . ..' Stephanie half-smiled. She felt very much calmer since her walk. Outside, by the crashing sea, it was easier to see things in perspective, it was easier to work things out. She wondered what Carina would say.

  'What about last night?' Carina queried obtusely, sipping her coffee quite calmly.

  'Well ...' Carina paused delicately. 'Well, I think I

  probably owe you an explanation.'

  'I'm listening,' Stephanie felt surprised. 'But I ought to tell you that I broke off my engagement to Dean this morning—so really explanations are unnecessary.'

  Carina stared at her, obviously surprised by the news. 'Rather drastic, isn't it, darling? He is a very attractive young man, after all.'

  'If you find him that attractive, you're welcome to him,' Stephanie said flatly, wondering how she could sit here drinking coffee and talking about Dean so coolly. 'Although I suppose I'm rather late in making that offer.'

  Carina had the grace to look uncomfortable. 'It was only a one-night stand, darling, it certainly doesn't mean anything.'

  Stephanie shrugged. 'That's what Dean said, but the point is that he slept with you when he was supposed to be engaged to me.' A thought struck her. 'Will you tell Luke?'

  Carina's eyes hardened. 'Will you?'

  'It's none of my business.'

  The older girl smiled. 'Perhaps that was in the back of my mind. I want to make him jealous—it might make him sit up and take notice.'

  'Is he neglecting you?' Stephanie asked sweetly, silently marvelling at Carina's selfish motives. Had she really slept with Dean just to make Luke jealous? It was unbelievable! And if Stephanie knew Luke at all, she felt sure that the plan wouldn't work.

  Carina ignored the question, smoothing back her raven hair. 'Whatever you think, Stephanie, I don't want to be the cause of your broken engagement. It really was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I suppose I was bored, what with Luke being away.'

  'What about Wayne?' Stephanie asked curiously.

  'Wayne bores me as well,' said Carina with languid candour.

  He, too, had been used, Stephanie realised. Probably a brief affair, probably on another occasion when Luke was away. The trouble was that Wayne still wanted Carina. Stephanie had seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice.

  It was all so pointless, so destructive. How could Luke love her? Why was he going to marry her?

  She sighed. It would be so easy to let Carina think it was her fault the engagement was broken, it would be easy to blame her, but Stephanie couldn't bring herself to do it.

  'Don't worry,' she said wryly. 'I decided to break off the engagement long before last night. Your conscience can be clear.'

  Carina smiled. 'Well, that's a relief. Anybody else in mind?'

  They both knew she was speaking of Luke, both remembering Carina's warning. What would her half- sister say, Stephanie wondered, if she told her that two could play at that game, and that Luke was the next man on her list? She doubted that Carina would be pleased.

  'Wouldn't you like to know?' Stephanie finished the last mouthful of her coffee and got hastily to her feet, trying to hide the revealing colour in her cheeks that the very thought of Luke had brought.

  'I've got to change,' she said, and left the room, marvelling, as she made her way upstairs, how impossible it was to stay annoyed with Carina for very long.

  Even though she knew that Carina was a cold, hard, self-obsessed bitch, she still had a grudging fondness for her. Even though she instinctively knew that Carina had taken the initiative in her brief affair with Dean, Stephanie couldn't rustle up any resentment towards her.

  And Luke? she asked herself wryly; how do you feel about Carina and Luke?

  It was there again, that nagging pain in the region of her heart. A pain that she didn't want to—didn't dare to examine too closely. That seemed to be the point where she lost any fondness she had for Carina, whenever she thought of her with Luke.

  None of it matters, she thought fiercely, as she walked into her bedroom. After this meeting, I can leave. Which only left the question, where would she go?

  She washed and changed into a pale green silk suit with a contrasting blouse. She looked cool and businesslike, she thought, as she brushed her hair in front of the mirror. The suit was beautifully cut, the flaring hemline swinging softly around her slim legs. She looked good, and she needed the confidence that knowledge gave her.

  It was ten to twelve as she strolled downstairs to the library where the meeting was to take place. There was no sign of Dean anywhere, but Stephanie wanted to get the meeting over with before facing him again. Tentatively pushing open the heavy library door, she saw Luke, Carina and two men inside.

  Luke came towards her immediately. 'Come in.' He smiled slightly. She let him take her arm, despite Carina's piercing glance, her heart pounding at his touch. He was wearing an expensively cut dark suit, that gave him a remote air of power, of success.

  'Would you like a drink?' He looked down at her, his narrowed glance searching, and as she raised her eyes to his, a fierce awareness ran between them.

  Stephanie lowered her head confusedly. 'A small sherry, please.'

  She was introduced to the two solicitors, Mr Taborn, old and portly and probably pompous, his thin white hair barely framing his round, red face, and Mr Wood, thin-faced and younger and very much more slick, as he eyed Stephanie appreciatively.

  Carina looked bored and very beautiful, languorously curled up in a leather chair near the open fire. And Stephanie watched Luke, almost unaware she was doing so. She slowly sipped her sherry and stared at his hard-boned, serious face, at his beautifully moulded mouth, unable to drag her gaze away. She watched him move with that sleek, panther-like grace, watched the lazy effortless charm in his eyes as he talked, and felt herself falling into the web of his attraction, his magnificence.

  Finally they all sat around the large oak table, the solicitors pulling sheaves of paper out of leather attache cases. Mr Taborn asked Luke to stay.

  It was all very serious, the atmosphere heavy, telling of bad news to come. And when it did come, Stephanie was stunned.

  Mr Taborn's droning voice hit her like sharp stones. Luke had tried to prepare her, she realised, he had tried to warn her, but it was still a terrible shock.

  Her father had died penniless—worse than penniless, in debt for many thousands of pounds that he had embezzled from Luke's hotels while in Luke's employ. There was no doubt, it was a matter of record. The solicitor read a letter written by Stephanie's father just before his death, confessing the theft.

  Stephanie couldn't believe it, couldn't take it in, the amount was so terrifyingly large. She hadn't known her father at all.

  'You knew,' she said, staring at Luke.

  'Yes, I knew,' he confirmed coolly, 'But you can rest assured that I don't intend to take the matter any further.'

  The solicitors were very surprised, but Luke was adamant. He had written the money off; he and Stephanie's father had been friends. Stephanie watched him as he smiled at Carina, and her heart twisted. He was doing it all for Carina. He must love her very much, she thought defeatedly, and turned away.

  'What happened to all the money?' Carina asked curiously.

  Mr Taborn consulted the papers in front of him. 'The money was invested in a company that went bankrupt. I have the name here . .. Island Holdings. . .'

  Stephanie ceased to listen at that second, her face draining of all colour, unaware that Luke was watching her closely. Mr Taborn's voice receded into her consciousness as she tried to reme
mber Island Holdings.

  Of course! She had heard Camil mention it one day when she had been in Dean's office, waiting for him to take her to lunch. She forced herself to remember the conversation, pulling it from the back of her mind. She felt almost sure that Dean owned that company, and if he did . .. the implications were overwhelmingly horrifying.

  She sat in silence, trying to work it all out, totally unaware of the other people in the room. Had Dean known her father? What was the link between them? And if Dean had been working with her father, why hadn't he ever mentioned it? She suddenly remembered something Luke had said about a photograph. She looked at him. He looked calm, unsurprised, chatting to Mr Wood. He knew what was going on. He knew it all, and had told nobody.

  The will was read next. Everything went to Carina, as expected, except for a sealed letter and a gold watch for Stephanie, which she took with tear-filled eyes, knowing that she wouldn't read the letter until later when she was alone.

  The rest of the meeting passed in a haze. She heard nothing of what was being said, and escaped as soon as she could, glad to get away, uncaring that Luke's narrowed eyes followed her as she abruptly left the room.

  She had to know the truth, and Dean seemed to hold the key. Fortunately his hired car was still outside, and she checked the downstairs rooms before running upstairs. She knocked on his bedroom door and heard his brief, brusque command to come in.

  He was on the telephone, a suitcase open on the bed, filled with clothes. He was leaving.

  Stephanie stood by the window, not listening to him talking on the phone, gripped with a haunting sadness. He had not looked pleased to see her as she came in. Had he been expecting Carina?

  She looked down at the sapphire ring on her finger and quickly pulled it off. She had been hopelessly naive to think that they could still be friends.

  Outside, the horizon was a grey blur, two toy-sized ships static against the sky. Deep in her heart she had known that they were not right for each other long before leaving the island. That was why she had been so reluctant to name the wedding day. It was just so sad that it had come to this, that it should end this way. But, however unpleasant, she had to know the truth about her father before Dean walked out of her life for ever.

 

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