‘I have a phone now,’ I told him. ‘I’ll send you a message from it, that way you’ll know how to reach me.’
I pulled the phone Billy had given me from my back pocket, seeing he’d tried to call multiple times, leaving messages to let me know that Lillian was on her way to meet me.
‘Shit,’ I cursed, realizing I’d left the phone on silent. ‘I’ve really gotta go.’
Clutching my hand, Tyler stopped me. ‘Not before you give me your number. Why don’t you just give me your phone? I’ll add the playlist I made for you.’
‘I’m in a rush, Tyler.’
‘I promise it’ll be quick.’
With pressure, I agreed.
He sat against the tree, knees up, both our phones in his hands. I stared at the swarms of people hovering around the opera house, waiting, wondering why Tyler imagined I’d care to listen to his playlist anyway.
Ten minutes passed, and he still wasn’t done with my phone. I strolled to the edge of the garden and tilted my head toward the sun, feeling its warmth penetrate my skin, filling me with life.
Then I remembered Lillian was waiting for me.
Tyler still wasn’t done with my phone when I walked back to the tree fifteen minutes later. ‘What are you doing? Uploading every song ever made? I’ve really gotta go.’
He laughed with confidence, then threw my phone back to me. ‘Done.’
Jumping up, he offered me his headphones. ‘Take these, too. I figure you don’t have any. And, so you know, I’m not stupid enough to think you’ll listen to my playlist, but at least with the headphones you can listen to whatever music you like. Even if it is crazy depressing.’
He stepped toward me, and I stepped back impulsively.
‘I’ll buzz ya,’ he said. ‘I’ve decided to extend my holiday. We can hang out some more.’
The kink in his smile left me feeling something between never wanting to leave him and never wanting to see him again.
What was it about him?
He reached for my hand before I could walk off, narrowing his eyes on me. ‘Keep your phone close to you, okay?’
The command in his gaze made my pulse drum, and I nodded.
Pulling my hand from Tyler’s grip, I turned away from him and headed back to Billy’s. Moving as quickly as my legs and my heart allowed.
Billy’s head shot up as I burst through the door, gasping. He stood against the kitchen bench, holding a bunch of paperwork and studied me. All I wanted was to be close to him. I couldn’t have understood it if I wanted to, and cutting across the living room, I walked into the kitchen and stopped directly in front of him so we stood chest to chest.
I couldn’t suck in enough air, and it felt like my legs would buckle beneath me.
His brows creased with deep lines. ‘Why are you breathing like that?’
‘I ran here.’
I knew he didn’t believe me.
‘Lucy, why are you breathing like that?’
‘I didn’t want Lillian to wait.’
‘If you’d answered your phone when I called, maybe you wouldn’t have needed to run here. What’s the point in giving you a phone if you’re never going to answer?’
‘I didn’t realize I’d left it on silent.’
His tone hardened, and he stepped away from me. ‘I have better things to do than play fucking personal assistant for Lillian and chase after you.’
My shoulders sank. Why had I wanted to be near him when he made it insanely clear how much he hated having me around?
I hardened my tone to match his. ‘I rushed back because I wanted to see you. Thanks for reminding me that you’re an asshole.’
A stabbing pain sliced through my chest, making every breath hurt. Sweat dripped down my back, and my arms began to tremble. I tucked my hands into my pockets to hide the shaking, but I knew from the look on Billy’s face that he’d noticed. He stepped in toward me, and my wheezing intensified.
I thought perhaps he’d touch me like he had the other times, that he’d cup my chin and force me to look deeper into his eyes. But he didn’t.
‘Lucy …?’
There wasn’t enough air in my body to respond. Billy grew blurry, and I wanted to sink against his chest, to have him hold me up. But a knock on the door stole his attention.
‘That’ll be Lillian.’ He seemed relieved.
I sucked in a desperate breath. ‘Please’—gasp—‘wait a’—gasp—‘minute.’
I couldn’t let Lillian see me like this.
Uncertainty flickered across his face. He threw glances between the door and me, and I prayed to an imaginary god that I’d find the air I needed before Lillian walked inside.
‘Lucy …’
‘Please’—gasp—‘Billy.’
He strolled to the front door, and I noticed he wasn’t walking with his crutch, although his brace was still on. I opened the fridge, needing the cold air to ease my burning skin. It took much longer than usual to find my breath, and Lillian knocked again. Billy stood by the door, staring at me. I inhaled one final gasp that filled my lungs like a balloon, and Billy’s shoulders visibly eased.
‘What took you so long?’ Lillian asked when Billy opened the door.
I wiped the sweat off my face with my t-shirt. My legs were like jelly, and I rushed to the table, sitting before they buckled.
‘I was showing Lucy how to use the washing machine.’
Billy lied for me. A small part of me broke because of it—because he’d deceived someone as lovely as Lillian for me. Someone he loved, who loved him.
Lillian’s warm smile radiated across the room as she approached me. ‘I brought lunch!’
One by one, she pulled containers from a carry bag. She took so much pride in serving up each dish, rich in scent and color, and she reminded me of Gabby. Food seemed to be an integral part of demonstrating their hospitality, and when Lillian placed a plate overflowing with various dishes in front of me, my heart swelled with gratitude.
But my stomach shriveled at the thought of eating.
Billy slumped into the seat opposite me.
‘Why do you do this?’ he asked Lillian, gesturing to the multiple containers on the table. ‘You don’t need to keep bringing food. I can feed myself. And Lucy.’
Lillian waved him away. ‘I know you can. But I spent the night cooking with Mum, and we had so much left over. You know what she’s like. Besides, I wanted to see you. How was your doctor’s appointment today?’
For a second, I thought Lillian was speaking to me. Then I realized she was facing Billy.
‘Better than I expected. I don’t need the crutch anymore. I can increase the weight on my foot to seventy-five percent, and he said I don’t need to wait another four weeks to return to work. He said I’ll be good to start again in two weeks.’
My stomach sank. Billy would return to work in two weeks.
I needed to be gone in two weeks.
I forced food into my mouth so no one questioned me. Lillian and Billy ate and talked. Lillian laughed about something their mother had done then turned to face me, her eyes glittery with humor.
‘You’ll find this funny,’ she said, addressing me. ‘When we were younger, we used to get the same door knockers at least once a fortnight. One time, Mum invited them inside and made them stay while she baked them a honey dessert. She wouldn’t stop talking. She made them eat several slices and drink three cups of coffee each. In the end, they were making excuses to leave. They never came back. She killed them with kindness.’
Billy blurted out a knowing laugh and shook his head. ‘I remember that.’
I loved seeing them together—Lillian and Billy. They embodied everything I’d imagined it would be like having a brother or sister. I could have stayed with them all afternoon, listening to their stories, watching as they bounced effortlessly off each other, but I struggled to keep my eyes open.
‘I might go to bed,’ I said.
Billy’s head shot up, and I felt his eyes pierc
ing me from across the table. But I couldn’t meet his stare. Not this time.
Lillian’s brows creased with concern. ‘But it’s only lunchtime. Are you feeling okay?’
Bone-deep exhaustion swept through me, and it took everything I had to nod.
‘I was hoping to chat about your appointment today.’ The desperation in Lillian’s tone was unmistakable.
‘I’m so tired,’ I whispered. ‘Can we please do that tomorrow?’
I didn’t wait for Lillian’s response.
Leaving them in the kitchen, I shuffled into my room and stumbled into the closet, shutting both doors behind me. Leaning against the closet wall, hidden beneath Lillian’s dangling dresses, I pulled the headphones Tyler had given me from my pocket. I set up a simple playlist and closed my eyes. The sweetest melody came on, nothing but acoustic piano and a tender voice. It was all the music I needed.
The phone slipped from my hand and fell onto the carpeted ground as my arm flopped by my side, too weak to hold onto it. In the distance, as if a million miles away, came the faint tapping against my bedroom door. But I couldn’t move or open my mouth to speak.
Something inside my body was switching off.
Billy was returning to work in two weeks. I’d promised myself that I’d be gone before he went back.
And I had no choice but to go.
10
Him
Lillian packed the dishwasher, then wiped down the benches like she was trying to strip the laminate.
‘Is this something you have to do? Come here, bring food, and clean?’ I asked bluntly.
‘You’re my brother. Is it such a big deal that I take care of you?’
I hated how she always shrugged that off.
‘Believe it or not, but my arms still work—even after I broke my leg. And besides, don’t you need to get back to the office or something?’
She didn’t respond. She was manic, stacking plates so they crashed against each other, dropping forks onto the ground, darting all over the place. She’d seemed fine when the three of us were having lunch, but the moment Lucy left, her mood had flipped like a switch.
I really needed to talk to Lillian about Lucy, but this wasn’t the time.
I could tell something was bothering her.
‘So, you must be happy about your leg.’ She pulled out the cleaning spray and squirted it all over the stovetop.
I released an exaggerated grunt and took the cloth from her hand. ‘What the hell is going on?’
Her face flushed a deep red, and she gritted her teeth. ‘Why can’t you just leave it alone!’
‘What the hell are you talking about? You were laughing at lunch fifteen minutes ago, and now you’re cleaning my kitchen like you’ve lost your mind. What’s going on?’
Her eyes glazed, and she exhaled a defeated sigh. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a large white envelope containing a thick document.
‘He’s formally filed for a divorce.’ The first of her tears came, and she wiped them away. ‘How can he give up on us that easily?’
The way her lips quivered broke my heart. There was nothing I could say to make her feel better, and I felt as useless as I did when I first broke my leg—unable to take care of her the way a brother should.
‘You’ll get through this, Lil.’
She nodded like everything was all right. But it wasn’t, and dropping her face into her palms, she began sobbing. Lillian never let go like that, and all I could do was hug her. She buried her head into my chest and heaved. I clenched my jaw to hold off from spitting out all the profanities I wanted to hurl at her ex.
If I ever saw him again … God help him.
Looking up at me, she offered a gentle smile, and it lit up her face despite her tear-drenched cheeks and bloodshot eyes.
‘Where would I be without you? Mum is always trying to feed me, as if food will somehow fill the void he left. But you … you just let me break down without saying much.’
‘That hardly makes me a hero.’
‘Well, you’re my hero.’
She wiped her tears away and flicked her hair off her shoulders with renewed vigor. ‘I’m glad to hear about your leg. I was hoping for some good news today.’
Suddenly, the spark left her eyes, and her expression fell flat.
‘How is she going?’ Lillian asked, gesturing toward Lucy’s bedroom. ‘I wanted to talk to her, too, but—did she seem a little distant at lunch today?’
My stomach twisted into a tight knot, and I rubbed hard at my brow. ‘Listen, she … Lucy … something isn’t right with her.’
Fear gripped Lillian’s face, and her words blurted out with urgency. ‘What do you mean? Has something happened?’
‘She breathes funny sometimes. I don’t know—it could just be anxiety.’ Even I didn’t believe that, and from Lillian’s panicked look, I knew she didn’t either.
Unless Lillian knew something that I didn’t.
‘What’s happening with her?’ I asked.
Lillian shook her head, her face burdened with a heaviness I’d never seen before. ‘You know I can’t talk to you about my clients.’
I leaned against the sink, contemplating what Lillian’s expression meant. ‘Don’t you think it’s weird she isn’t trying to figure out who she is?’
‘What do you mean? How is she meant to do that?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. You’d think someone who’d just lost their memory would have a million doctors’ appointments trying to figure it all out. But she doesn’t seem interested in helping herself. I’m telling ya, Lil. Something isn’t right with her.’
Lillian rubbed her forehead. ‘I … ah … she might still be in shock. I’ll be back in the morning to talk to her. But please, please, Billy, take care of her for me while I’m not here. I’m doing everything I can for her, and I can’t lose …’ Her voice trailed, and she flicked a glance toward Lucy’s bedroom door.
‘You can’t lose what?’
With a faint smile, she shook her head and waved away my question. ‘I have to get back to work.’
On her way out, Lillian tapped on Lucy’s bedroom door to say goodbye. Lucy didn’t answer.
With a pained expression, Lillian turned toward me. ‘Please, Billy. Just take care of her for me.’
She left then, and I stared blankly at Lucy’s door. My muscles clenched.
Something wasn’t right with her. Lucy knew it, and I was certain Lillian knew it too.
Eight p.m. and Lucy still hadn’t come out of her room. Seven hours had passed, and she hadn’t made a sound. I hadn’t heard the toilet flush or the shower running. Nothing. The place was so small I would’ve heard something if she’d moved around in her bedroom.
But there’d been nothing.
I remembered how she’d gasped for air this afternoon, and suddenly, the silence made me physically sick.
I tapped on her door and waited.
Nothing.
I knocked again.
Nothing.
I knocked harder and called her name.
Still nothing.
God, I hated when she did that.
I swung open her door, seeing that the bed was perfectly made. But Lucy was nowhere to be seen. I knocked on her ensuite door and waited a second. When I didn’t get a response, I pushed that door open too. Nothing.
Fuck!
The faintest sound pricked my ears. Music, so muffled and distant, I thought it was coming from outside. I strained my ears. No. It came from somewhere closer than outside.
Walking out of the ensuite, I went to the walk-in closet and opened the door. Lucy’s legs hung out from the bottom, but her body was hidden behind Lillian’s dangling dresses.
She was completely still.
‘Lucy?’ I whispered, petrified of not getting a response.
Nothing.
Sucking in a breath, I slid the clothes hanging along the railing to one side so I could see her. She sat against the wall, headphones in her ears, her
arms hanging loosely by her side, and her face paler than I’d ever seen it before. Her stillness made my heart stop, and acid burned through my stomach and up my throat, making me feel like I would vomit.
Lillian had asked one thing of me … to take care of her …
Lucy’s eyes flung open. I jerked back, throwing my arm to my chest, adrenaline sending my pulse into overdrive.
She pulled the headphones out of her ears and wiped her eyes. ‘I must’ve fallen asleep.’
I couldn’t catch my breath. Adrenaline surged through me, making me sick. I hardly believed what she’d said—I must’ve fallen asleep—saying it so damn casually. As if finding her deadly still in the closet after seven hours was the most normal fucking thing in the world.
I inhaled a breath to compose myself.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked.
I decided not to respond to that.
Switching on the closet light, I walked inside and sat beside her. For a while, we stared at each other, her cheeks soft from sleep, her eyes azure blue, like the sky on a cloudless day. Her eyes changed color daily, from deep ocean blue to this.
I’d stared at her enough to notice.
‘Lucy …’ You scared the shit out of me. You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack. I thought you were …
‘Yes?’
When I didn’t answer, she continued. ‘Is Lillian still here?’
‘Lillian left about seven hours ago.’
Her lips parted. ‘Oh.’
We fell silent but didn’t break eye contact, her head tilted toward mine, mine tilted toward hers.
‘You had an appointment today?’ I asked.
‘Something like that.’
‘Lillian was hoping to talk to you about it. She’ll be back in the morning.’
Biting her bottom lip, she nodded.
She was hiding something.
‘And this appointment you went to today,’ I continued, ‘you rushed back to see me? Why’d you do that?’
She gave me a faint smile, and my gaze dropped to her mouth. She seemed so fragile, so tender, and I wanted to wrap her against me.
Shrugging softly, she whispered, ‘I don’t know.’
My heart pounded, and I couldn’t calm it. I didn’t move, afraid that if I did, I’d reach for her soft, pink lips.
Call me Lucy: An Enemies to Lovers romance Page 10