by T. J. Jones
"What the hell? I thought you liked school."
"Yeah, I do. But apparently I suck at it."
"What, get a B on a pop quiz?" He shrugged and slouched into the seat, closing his eyes. Callie was okay with that, she needed to think, and the road was a good place to do it. The night with Danielle had been amazing. They didn't know each other well, it wasn't love, not this early, but there was some special connection there. Maybe it was the fact that they both had this gift, if that's what you wanted to call it. She didn't know if she should believe everything Danielle had told her, but she had accepted the fact that this was real, not her imagination playing tricks on her. For all of the certainty she had felt about Davis Cooper, he may not have done what she thought he had. And the dread she had felt for Jenny's baby may have just been guilt, a tragic coincidence. But the voices in her head were real. The Sisters existed, and they were like her. With Danielle's help, she had reached into their minds. She could recall their memories, each of them individually, and knew who was sure of what they were doing, and who was not.
Callie was beginning to think she knew how the Sisters operated. She realized that most of the members didn't have the "sight" as Danielle had called it. Many simply had feelings, and premonitions. When several members of the group had the same premonitions, the events were examined more closely. There were a few members, like her, whose visions were quite clear, if not always obvious. But Callie sensed somehow that her ability went beyond theirs, that she could see things they could not. So far, her looks into the future had been haphazard, at best. Her dreams told her things, but in bits and pieces that hadn't made much sense to her. Granted, she was just starting to take them seriously. But did the Sisters act on the scraps of information gleaned from vague feelings, without being sure of the outcome? Is that what the Elders did, decide which premonitions meant something, then jump in and try and change that destiny?
She was sure she wanted no part of the whole mess. If the Sisters were to shift fate, hopefully to make the world a better place, shouldn't they do it based on better information? But then, that was why they wanted her, right? But her gifts, such as they were, weren't predictable, or tested. Could she test herself? Was it possible to train herself, to become better at knowing what might, or had happened? Five minutes at her keyboard had ruined the lives of several people. There was no escaping the fact that she had caused Greg's death. The hours and days that Jenny lay crying on her bed, that was her responsibility. She couldn't risk doing that to someone else's life, no matter how well intentioned the Sisters were. Thinking about Jenny's grief made her start to cry. She wiped her eyes and turned up the radio. Travis startled awake and glanced at her.
"You okay Callie? You look like you were crying."
"Yeah, sad song, fucking Adelle I think."
*****
Callie dropped Travis off at home and drove back to town. It was only eight thirty and she wanted to go to Jenny's, but she was on her date. She decided instead she would try painting. Maybe she could train herself, or this ability she had. Maybe painting was the key. She had grown more sure about Davis each time she worked on the desert painting. And she remembered the picture of Greg and the Calico. That was a canvas that she had burned, long ago. She'd skipped supper, so she decided to stop at Walmart to grab some snacks. The lot was full of Friday night shoppers and she had to park a long way from the front of the store. The evening was getting cold and she didn't have a coat. She walked quickly, half jogging, with her head turned against the light mist that was blowing in from the west. A woman stepped out of her car and walked into her path, also covering her face from the sudden gale. Callie bumped against her, then shifted her course to turn and apologize.
"Sorry about that, crappy night all of a sudden." She stopped, stunned. "Abby?"
"Christ! One night I'm here to sign papers, what are the odds?" Callie's mind was whirling. Scared, nervous, excited. This seemed like one of those impossible coincidences.
"Yeah, what are the odds. How are you? Are you doing alright? Should I just leave, or is it okay if we talk?"
"Actually, I would love to talk, a lot. But somewhere public, with a lot of lights."
"That's a funny thing to say." Callie smiled timidly.
"I know, I'm sorry. Can we meet at Perkins? Fifteen minutes? There's a lot I want to say, and the parking lot of Walmart, in the rain, isn't the place."
"Fifteen minutes. I was going to get some munchies, but I'll just go there and get us a table, I can eat there."
Callie sat at the Perkins for nearly half an hour, then ordered. She was sure that Abby had decided not to come, but she was hungry anyway. It had started to rain hard, and when Abby walked in she had thrown an old sweatshirt on and pulled the hood tightly around her face. Callie couldn't help thinking how beautiful she was, even dressed in a rag. She smiled and waved and the teacher walked over and sat across from her. Callie was suddenly nervous.
"I'm sorry, I ordered. I would have waited. I guess I wasn't sure you were coming."
"I wasn't sure either Cal. I pulled into the lot once, then drove back to the motel, then turned around and came back again. There's a lot I want to say, but now I'm tongue tied."
"Yeah, feeling's mutual. Is it light enough in here for you? I didn't know what you meant by that." Abby looked at her, smirking slightly.
"One look at you, I was gone again. I thought I was over it, but when I saw you, all I wanted was to drag you back to my motel. That's horrible I know, but I have no shame."
"That's alright, me either. If I'd known that, well, I'm not that hungry." Abby laughed softly.
"Even after all the bullshit, a part of me still wants you."
"I know, we were so good together for a while. But I don't want to hurt you Abby, not more than I already have. I seem good at fucking up people's lives, especially the people I care a lot about."
"How is Jenny?" There was a slight edge in her voice.
"Moving on with her life. She's on a date tonight with a guy from Walmart. She's working there now. She seems better. Losing that baby about killed her." The waitress brought Abby some coffee and a menu. She set the menu aside, sipping her coffee thoughtfully.
"There's no way you should blame yourself for that Callie. The other stuff, I think we all had a part in that, but not the baby. That was definitely not your fault."
"It feels like it was, kind of. It felt like it was Greg, taking his revenge out on me."
"That's in your head. Greg's dead, that’s all, unless you suddenly believe in ghosts. And Greg cared about Jenny, in his own way. It's about her, not you. She really is a sweet girl, I understand why you love her so much." Callie glanced at Abby, but there was no sign of bitterness now.
"I'm sorry. It should have been you Abby. I don't know why I feel that way about her, and not you. I mean, I cared a lot about you. I care a lot about you. I just couldn't get to that next level, you know?"
"It's alright, Callie. I don't know why I fell so hard for you. Honestly, I look back now and remember it, fondly, I guess. Or maybe that was just the sex." They both laughed. "But, I wanted to tell you about Davis. He's gotten so much better, you wouldn't believe it. He's like he used to be, Callie. They put him on something, to help with the PTSD. He laughs and talks, and it seems like he trusts me again."
"That's great! So, are you two going to stay married?"
"Yeah, we are. He'll be in there for a few years, but I'll wait. This is as happy and sure of things as I've been in a very long time."
"I'm really happy for you Abby." The older woman looked into her cup for a few moments, then stared directly into Callie's blue eyes.
"Davis told me a lot about the war, Cal. About giving up sometimes, about all the bloodshed, and feeling dead inside. Callie, he told me about a young woman, he said she was Al-qaeda, not that it matters. But, he told me what they did to her." Callie stared down, afraid to look into Abby's face.
"Well, war's hell Abby. That's why they say that right?
"
"You said that to me Callie, that last day. You knew what they did, how she died. How could you know that?"
"I was kind of hysterical that day Abby, I said a lot of shit." They stared at each other.
"Okay. I remember every word of that day, but if you don't want to explain, I get it."
"I couldn't if I tried. I'll send you a text later, of a picture I painted, like a dozen times. It will kind of explain it, and kind of creep you out too, probably."
"Are you going to be okay Callie?" Abby reached out and took her hand, holding it softly.
"Time will tell I guess. Things just seem to get crazier and crazier."
"I'm always going to love you, no matter what, you know. But I love him too, even more now it seems like."
"That's a good thing Abby. Really it is. Hey it stopped raining."
"That's my cue, I'd better go. Buy my coffee?" She stood, then bent down and kissed Callie softly on the lips. "Bye Callie, I hope you have a great life."
"You too." Callie watched her walk out. Coincidence or not, it was nice to have seen her. Callie drove home, said hello to her parents, then went to her room. One of the paintings she had done of Afghanistan sat in the corner. A pair of desert boots protruded from behind the rock in the picture, and she knew they were Davis's. She decided not to send the text to Abby, the past couldn't be changed, it was time to move forward. She didn't attempt to paint. She fell into her bed and dreamt of high school, of Jenny, and Abby, and Art class.
*****
"How was the date last night, Jen?" Callie sat on the end of Jenny's bed as the redhaired girl lay curled up next to her, her head in Callie's lap.
"Awful. I'm spoiled I guess. What I said about finding a man? Forget that. Come back home and I'll be your lesbian bride, fuck guys." Callie laughed and stroked her friend's hair.
"Careful what you wish for Jen. You know I miss you a lot."
"I know I said you should go conquer the world, but I didn't know how hard this would be. I'm serious, if you ever can't stand it, just come home. I miss you too much." Callie traced the outside of Jenny's ear with a finger, trailed it down to her cheek, then along her neck to her collarbone.
"Your just lonely right now Jen, you don't really want to be with me."
"I know you think I'm kidding, but I don't know anymore." Jenny giggled a little. "That thing you're doing with your finger right now is sure making me crazy." Callie brushed her fingers close to Jenny's lips and the girl grasped her hand suddenly. She kissed Callie's hand softly, pressing each finger against her lips. Callie couldn't help herself, she stretched out next to Jenny and kissed her full on the mouth. Jenny pulled her closer and they continued kissing softly. Callie finally pulled away, looking carefully into Jenny's eyes. The redheaded smiled warmly, slightly out of breath. "Callie, it's alright. I mean, if you want to, tonight, we could."
"Jen, Honey. You've been through so much. I think you're just really lonely right now. You know how I feel, but it isn't the right time. Besides, if we made love, I'd never be able to leave you again, you couldn't pry me out of this bed, much less send me back to Minneapolis."
"Maybe I'd be okay with that." Jen murmured softly. "Can you just stay tonight then, and hold me like this? I need you to hold onto me for tonight, okay?" She had begun to cry softly.
"I'm here Jen. I'll stay right here, okay? All night."
Callie knew Jenny was fragile, still broken by the deaths of her son and his father. As much as she wanted the red-haired girl, Callie kept her desire in check. She held Jenny when she cried and kissed her softly when she insisted. They fell asleep, late in the night, pressed tightly together.
In the morning Jenny was her cheerful self again. She teased Callie and smiled shyly when she caught the blonde looking at her. They made breakfast together, and Jenny slipped an arm around Callie as she cooked, putting a small kiss on the side of her neck. Callie thought how like a couple they were, like a pair of newlyweds. They talked and laughed and ate with Jenny's Mom. Callie even bowed her head when they prayed. It was the happiest either of them had been in a long time. Callie stayed as long as she could, then got in her car to go to her parent's house to get ready for the drive to school. Jenny walked her to her car, holding her hand.
"Thank you, Callie, for last night. I really needed you here. I know I shouldn't say it, but I'm selfish. I hate that you're gone. I'm a mess, I know, and I really miss you. But I don't think it's just because we're best friends. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've been kind of hoping you don't find some other girl at school, the idea makes me crazy, jealous crazy."
"Jen, last night, you know I wanted to, it just seemed like it would have been taking advantage of you."
"I wanted to too, you know? I wanted to be even closer to you than I am." She leaned forward quickly and kissed Callie through the car window. "And maybe you were right, maybe it wasn't the right time. But I'm here, and if you truly hate it there, come home. Maybe things could work out for us. I love you and maybe I'm kind of in love with you too."
"How the hell am I supposed to leave, when you say shit like that?" Jenny giggled and squeezed her hand.
"Text me or call me, a lot, okay?"
Callie drove a few blocks, then pulled over to the curb, trying to sort things out in her head. She loved Jenny. More than anyone, it was Jenny she wanted in her life. Why was she driving away? Jenny had said it, she wanted to try. Why not turn around right now? Fuck the Cities and college, and fuck the Sisters. She could go to the junior college right there in town, help her Dad in the hardware, hold Jenny every night and show her how much she cared about her. Jenny loved her, and Jenny was open to more. Why couldn't that work? Why couldn't they just be together and be happy. Callie lifted her head off the steering wheel and glanced to her left. She had pulled over near the intersection. It was the corner where, months ago, she had run down the Calico cat. She stared at the spot for a long while, her stomach turning, then put her car in gear and continued the drive home.
Callie picked Travis up that afternoon around four and they drove back to school. Callie had loaded up some of her art supplies. She had changed her mind about the Sisters. It was time to experiment with her abilities, possibly open her mind a little to them. She knew that she had crossed some line by forcing her way into their memories, but it seemed fair, they had been keeping tabs on her most of her life. She had memories of being watched since she was a small child. At times, she had thought it was simply her own paranoia, but now she knew it had been the group all along. She wasn't sure how to reach out. She wanted to allow some contact, she needed it, to understand everything that was happening to her. She had no intention of getting involved in their attempts to manipulate fate, but she did want to figure out what was going on in her own head.
Travis was quiet again, sleeping with his earbuds in, and it concerned her. Danielle's presence in his classes seemed very odd. Having sex with someone didn't mean they wouldn't lie to you, Callie knew that too well. She wanted to trust Danielle, but knowing she worked for the Sisters made that difficult. She distrusted the group. They had watched her from afar, possibly interfering with her thoughts, but they wouldn't show themselves without being forced to. If the purpose of the group was to make positive changes, why not just talk to her? If her dreams were prophetic, if she did indeed have some special abilities, why not just help her figure them out? And why, why her?
Life would be easy at home, and there was Jenny. But she had hurt her terribly before, and something told her that it could happen again. She couldn't risk that. Jenny would be better off finding some man to settle down with. Callie had called her before she left and told her that she would have to stay at college for a few weeks. She knew it would be torture, not seeing the redhead for that long, but Jenny needed to find someone, someone less toxic. Callie knew that given a second opportunity, she would never be able to turn Jenny down. Time away would make it easier for them both. She would love to be with Jenny, if there was
any chance, but fate seemed to make that impossible. She laughed aloud. Fate? She really was losing her damn mind.
Chapter 17
"Thanks Chester," Callie slammed the door of the old pickup and grabbed her bag from the back. "Cheer the hell up will you. School will get easier."
"Yeah, I'll try. Just doing a lot of thinking lately."
"Well don't hurt yourself. I'm not going home for a few weeks, so if you go, you'll have to take this beater. Want to go to a party Saturday? I'm sure Nat can hook us up."
"Call me if you want to see a movie or something. I'm not going to any of those parties. Everybody was smoking dope and doing Coke. You should be careful Callie. Those two are trouble. The cops show up, and you'll be in jail with everybody else."
"Yeah, I wasn't real comfortable with that shit either. I'll call you, lover." He laughed and waited as she unlocked the entrance door to the dorm. Natalie was lying on her bed and appeared to be asleep. Her clothes looked like she'd slept in them, and the room had a pungent smell. Callie frowned and shook her, suddenly concerned. "Nat, Jesus, are you dead?"
"Mostly. Tough night last night, didn't get home until seven this morning." Natalie sat up, looking bleary eyed. "Fucking Oz was being an ass. I hooked up with some other dude, Eliot something. We drank beer all damn night at his place, and fucked like rabbits. He wants to take me on a date, if you can imagine that."
"Don't you worry about hooking up with guys like that? You don't have to sleep with them all the time. The date is supposed to come before the sex."
"Yeah right. The sex is all they want, I just get right to it and save time."
"Aren't you worried about catching something? Nat, slow down a little."
"Jesus, lighten up. Slow is for old people. I'll slow down when I'm thirty."
"You have to live to be thirty first." The voices screamed in her head. Callie tried to ignore them. "Go take a shower, you smell like stale beer and cigarettes, Christ." Callie winced, looking at the pretty blonde. Her makeup was smudged and she had spilled something on the front of her shirt. She had large dark circles around her eyes. Callie took her outstretched hand and pulled her to her feet. She opened a drawer and pulled out the girl's pajamas. "Go shower, seriously dude, you smell bad." Natalie stumbled off in the direction of the communal shower, and Callie sat down slowly at her desk. She won't live to see thirty. Was that her voice in her head, or the Sisters?