Some girls glared at me, burning holes in the back of my head. The whispers of the word, ‘Whore,’ was loud enough for me to catch coming from the lips of some of the popular girls at school.
Keeping my head held high, I stared straight ahead. I was used to ignoring other’s opinion of me, and sooner or later, they would get bored and moved on to the next new thing that wasn’t me.
Thankfully, Calculus was uneventful. I still received stares from some of the students, but no one was brave enough to approach me.
Before I knew it, lunch was around the corner, and I was reminded of the first time Jackson saw me.
I wasn’t sure what it was about him that I found so interesting. It could be his beauty. In all honesty, no man should ever be that fascinating to look at, but he was. And it wasn’t his appearance alone, but this charisma about him. It drew me in.
And it wasn’t the delicate kind of beauty Jude happened to be. It was loud and rough and explosive.
It demanded attention without even uttering a word, and it got me completely hooked.
My steps faltered when I found Ethan leaning against my locker door. He was in a white shirt today, and I was sure two years ago that shirt would have fitted him well, showing off his lean, muscular frame. Now it hung loosely in the front. His blue jeans were also noticeable baggy on him, though I couldn’t tell if that was intentional or if it was due to weight loss. His brown hair was messy, and hung across his eyebrows, making him look unkempt.
“Hey,” I said when I was close by. I didn’t get a verbal response from him. What I got was Ethan hauling me up against his much bigger body, his arms wrapped tightly around me to the point of pain, and his lips were on mine. I couldn’t kiss him back. Too shock to even close my eyes.
Ethan took advantage of my somewhat complaint state and entered his tongue in my mouth roughly. Lately, he had been kissing me like that.
When I least expected it, and when I was too damn shock to do anything about it. When I couldn’t even muster up the courage to kiss him back like how I used to do, because the sparks that happened before were… gone.
He kissed me like owned me. And I didn’t want to be own, least of all by him.
I also realized he was kissing me in the crowded hallway, where everyone could see and was probably staring. I placed my hands flat on his chest to shove him off me.
Ethan mistook the movement, thinking I was grabbing onto to him to pull him in close. He groaned against my lips and pulled me in even tighter, causing a small whimper to come out from my lips.
I shoved at him again, and because he was taken off guard by the movement, I was able to gain some distance between us.
He opened his eyes, his brows furrowed as he took me in. “What’s wrong Emily?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him exactly what was wrong, but the glassy quality of his eyes kept the words from spilling out. Instead, I asked, “Are you high? And in school?”
He shook his head, almost as if he was trying to clear out an errant thought before his lips tilted up in an arrogant smile. Shaking my head in frustration, I moved around him and quickly opened my locker door, shoving my backpack in there.
I walked away without looking back, hearing Ethan calling out my name. Several people looked over to him, then to me. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, and anger twisted inside my stomach when I realized I didn’t grab the five-dollar bill from my backpack for lunch.
Instead of going to the lunchroom like I usually would do, I walked outside to the early Spring weather. The wind was cool against my skin, but it wasn’t bad enough to be uncomfortable. I zipped up my sweater and shoved my hand in the pockets to keep them warm.
Sitting down on the still dead grass, I leaned up against an oak tree. The shade made the weather feel cooler than it was, but I wasn’t up to trading in the peace I finally felt for a little warmth inside the school building where everyone else was at, casting judgment on me about the things they knew absolutely nothing about.
My stomach grumbled, reminding me of my forgotten lunch money and how I wouldn’t be able to eat anything for the rest of the day since it was my first day working for Aiden’s aunt.
Grant and I were due to meet her as soon as school let out.
I closed my eyes and imagined myself living anywhere but where I was. I had grown to love the rainy city. It was the few people here that made city lose its appeal to me long before I could ever see myself committed to it.
My mom wasn’t even buried in Seattle.
After my she died, my maternal grandmother rearranged for her only daughter to come back home and be buried beside my grandfather.
My grandmother soon died of a stroke five months after that and was now buried next to her daughter and husband.
I couldn’t even visit my mom’s grave, even if I wanted to. Because my dad would have nothing to do with New York. He absolutely loathed it, and for the life of me, I couldn’t quite figure out why.
A warm hand on my shoulder startled me out of my thoughts, and I opened my eyes and met with intense amber ones. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, his voice gruff, a strange expression overtook his face. He wasn’t as stoic as he was the night before at the coffee shop. But I still couldn’t decipher what was going on in his mind. He was hard to read.
“It’s okay,” I said, after an unnaturally long silence.
Jackson stared down at me for a beat before sitting down on the grass next to me, so close, I could feel his body heat coming off of him in waves. He pulled his backpack off from behind him and placed in carelessly beside his legs.
His thigh touched mine, and I made a liar out of myself that day when I denied that the small touch from him had any effect on me.
“What are you doing out here all alone? Aren’t you cold?” he asked as soon as he settled in.
“I’m avoiding people.”
There was a slight pause. “Ah.”
“Yeah. It seems you are quite popular in the school,” I said.
“So it would seem. I’m sorry if what they said bothered you.” I met his eyes. He seemed genuinely apologetic.
I shrugged. “It’s no big deal.” Because it really wasn’t.
Jackson unzipped his backpack and pulled out a plastic bag. He looked at me then and with a smile, asked, “Do you want to share lunch with me?”
I was going to say no because I didn’t really know him, but then my stomach growled, and saying no then seemed rude. Jackson laughed and I felt my cheeks turned red before settling in over my neck and chest. So not attractive.
He pulled out a sub sandwich, unwrapped the wrappings and broke it in half, handing me the bigger piece.
“Thank you,” I said softly, and though I was hungry, the only thing I managed to do was nibbled on the bread.
Jackson took large bits out of his, and I watch his mouth as he chewed. I told myself to look away because I was sure if he caught me staring at him, I would be labeled a freak, but he… he fascinated me.
We ate in silence for about fifteen minutes before Jackson spoke again. “So, tell me about yourself.”
My eyes widened, taken back. “Why would you want to know about me?” I asked without thinking and regret it instantly. My face burned as I averted my eyes downward, my fingers plucking at the grass.
“I asked around about you.” He paused until I looked up and met his eyes. “How could you think I wouldn't want to know about you?”
“I'm easily forgotten.”
Jackson shook his head. “There is nothing forgettable about you.”
“I'm seventeen,” I blurted out and immediately looked around for a hole big enough to swallow me up. Jackson's eyes twinkled in amusement as he made a 'go on' gesture. “I won't turn eighteen until July. I'm also an only child. I like the color red and... and I'm scared I won't ever get out of this state.” I said the last part quietly.
“Why do you want to leave Washington?” Jackson asked softly. I could feel his eyes on me. If
he looked close enough, I might cave under that intense gaze of his and tell him every single one of my secrets. And that scared me more than anything else.
“My dad grew up here. He never left. My mom gave up her whole life in New York to be with him, and even though I don't remember her...” I shook my head, thinking to the pictures I found of her in our attic along with every forbidden thing I wasn't allowed to ask about. “I don't think she was ever happy.”
“Where is she?” His voice was gentle, comforting. I wanted to tell him everything.
“She died a long time ago.”
“Oh.” Was all he said. No empty apologies he had no reason to say. And somehow, his one insignificance response was the best response I had ever received compared to those thousands of 'I'm sorry' I’d gotten over the years from strangers whenever I told them that I didn't have a mom.
“You know, there is one thing I remember she always said to me.”
“What is it?” he asked, his focus on me as if he was really interested. Was he pretending?
I forged on though, because I already open my mouth, and it seemed awkward not to say anything after. “She told me to tell her a lie.” Jackson raised one eyebrow up in question, and I smiled. “It’s when I’m afraid to tell her the truth because I didn’t want to get in trouble. So she would say, ‘Tell me a lie, Emily,’ and I’d tell her a lie, and she would know the truth from the lie.” I shrugged, my face getting warm. “Telling her the lie made it easier, I guess.”
Jackson smiled, a small, sweet smile that held me captive. I wondered how much more handsome he would look if his smile ever reached his eyes.
We were silent again, back to eating our lunch. But the silence wasn’t terrible like I had imagined. It was comforting in a way that made me wish we could stay out here forever. Like this.
But everything in life was fleeting, and exactly ten minutes later, the bell rang, ending lunch. Jackson stood up to his six foot four inches, stretching out his arms. I tried not to stare. Especially when the fitting black shirt he wore lifted, showing a small amount of tan skin that was enough to make me squirm.
After making a show of his stretches, he bent down and put out one large hand in front of me.
His smiling amber eyes took in my flaming face, and I hesitantly place my much smaller hand in his.
Everything about me was so small compared to him.
He must have miscalculated my weight because he pulled me up harder and faster than I was prepared for. I stumbled as soon as I got to my feet and would have fallen down if Jackson hadn't caught me.
He wrapped his arms around my waist, tightening a little when I planted my face on his chest.
My breath caught.
“I got you,” he cooed.
Looking up, I met his eyes. Jackson didn't seem so amused anymore. He smelled like cigarette smoke and mint. The scent shouldn’t appeal to me, but it did.
His heated eyes looked directly into mine, then he moved his gaze down to my lips, before moving them back up to meet my eyes. He did it a few times.
The arms I had wrapped around his waist tightened without thought, and his eyes flared. The minute bell rang brought me out of my stupor, as I stepped out of his arms quickly. "T-thanks."
Jackson nodded. “I'll walk you to class.”
He didn't give me a chance to respond. Placing a hand on the small of my back, he led me back to the school. He waited until we got inside before letting go. The place where he touched me went cold instantly. But even as I missed his touch, I was relieved, because the moment we stepped inside, all eyes turned to us.
Some whispering, some pointing, none were friendly.
The boys leered at me while the girls glared. I looked to Jackson and found his eyebrows lowered, his lips pressed together in a thin line.
We kept walking without a pause or a stutter. He was strong and confident. He walked down the hallway like he owned it, and even as I was afraid, afraid of the gossip, afraid of the hate people threw my way, walking beside him, I felt invincible. And it was a feeling I had never felt before.
And it felt good.
I moved closer to Jackson, causing him to stumble a little, but he quickly caught himself, threw a charming smile my way, and kept on walking.
We made way to my classroom far too soon. “What do you have next?” I asked.
“History.”
My brows lowered. “The history hall is on the opposite side of here.”
His smile widened, showing off straight white teeth. “I know.”
He winked at me, and without waiting for a reply, took off.
I watched him go, still perplexed why anyone would go out of their way for me.
I wasn’t sure why out of everyone, Jackson turned his attention to me. Still, I walked into the classroom with the biggest smile on my face.
4
Past: Emily
When Grant and I walked into the café later that afternoon, the only thing I could think of was chaos.
Utter chaos.
I was told to expect the place to be busy, I just wasn’t prepared for how busy. And everywhere I turned, I found familiar faces staring back at me, making my already fray nerves come apart a little bit more than it already had.
Especially when, in the far corner of the place, a group of giant people sat, and in the center, Jude and Beth.
Grant noticed where my attention was at, and with a gentle push, he nudged me forward to where Jamie stood, a friendly smile on her face.
“Hi, Jamie,” Grant said with a charming smile when it became obvious I wouldn’t be able to say anything.
“Just in time,” Jamie chirped. “Good. If you guys follow me into the back, I’ll give you your uniform and show you where you can put your stuff.” She didn’t wait for a reply, instead turned around and quickly made her way to the back.
Grant grabbed hold of my hand and followed her back. I let him lead me, as I took in my surrounding once more. I was relieved to see that hardly anyone was paying us any attention.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
Two hours in and I wanted to be anywhere but there.
I noticed Grant looking over at me for the hundredth time, concern marring his face.
It was just my luck to have Beth and Jude’s table in my section. Even after two hours in, they made no sign of leaving. Beth was getting a kick out of embarrassing me and demanding every little thing, trying to get me to their table as much as possible.
Jude looked at me up and down every time I approached, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up in wariness. I was just thankful he was at least cautious about it, leaving Beth oblivious to his disgusting ways.
“Emily,” Jamie called out as I was about to walk over to their table again. I let out a sigh of relief and walked over to her.
She was frowning, and it only deepened when she looked past me to the table. I followed her gaze and found that Beth had left to the bathroom, leaving Jude and his football buddies at the table. They were laughing and talking loudly. There was no way to miss what they were saying and who they were talking about.
Their eyes stayed on me, while one of them making an obscene gesture with his hands.
I quickly averted my gaze, keeping them downcast.
Shame made it hard for me to talk, so I stayed silent and waited for Jamie to say whatever she needed to say before I had to go back to the lion’s den.
“Why didn’t you tell me they were bothering you?” Jamie asked gently. I looked up and met clear gray eyes softening in sympathy.
“I can handle it,” I said firmly. Because I knew I could. I didn’t want to be afraid.
“I know you can. You shouldn’t have to, though.” Her eyes flashed fiercely as she turned them on the table with a glare. “It’s time for your break anyway.”
I nodded, and without a word, moved past Jamie and into the back. I quickly found the back door and opened it, leaning my back against the brick wall. Finally. Peace and quiet.
I tensed when someone walked up beside me. Opening my eyes slowly, I directed my gaze to the intruder and was surprised when it connected with a very male, very large chest.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jackson said. I looked up and met his eyes.
“It’s okay. I was surprised, is all,” I responded softly. “What are you doing out here, anyway?”
“Looking for you.”
My brows lowered into a confused frown. “Why?”
“Jamie said you might be out here. I was just checking in on you.”
“Oh.” If he talked to Jamie, that meant he also knew about what happened with Jude and his football buddies.
A crinkling sound directed my attention to the small white paper bag he was holding in his hand. “What’s that?” I asked.
The corners of his mouth curved up in a small smile. “For you,” he said, holding the bag out to me.
“Me?” I took it from him tentatively and peek inside. It instantly brought on a smile to my face. “It’s so cute,” I said, taking out the cookie inside.
The cookie was shaped like a panda bear, with chubby arms and legs along with a rounded belly.
“It’s taste even better,” he remarked playfully.
I looked up to him, my smile widening a fraction. “Will you take half?”
He moved in closer to me until nothing but an inch separated us. If he had supersonic hearing, he would know how hard and fast my heart was beating for him. I hold out the cookie, and he grabbed the other end of it. We both broke it, leaving him the smaller piece.
I took a small bite of the soft cookie and nearly moan out loud. It was that good. “You like it?” Jackson asked me, his voice sounding a little rough. I looked up and found his intense gaze on me once again.
Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology Page 4