I didn’t tell Jackson I was glad Grant’s mom left him, because she gave me the best gift I had ever received. It sounded selfish, and I didn’t want to paint myself in that light.
Jackson told me about how Aiden set up the fights.
“Mostly through social media, though we have to be careful. But Aiden’s brilliant. We only have the fights four to six times a year, but each time, it brings in at least fifty people.”
“Fifty?” I asked, surprised. I knew most of the kids in our school had gone to the fights at least once. But from the way everyone talked about it, I was under the impression that there might be more than that.
“The bigger the crowd, the bigger the risk is at getting caught.”
I nodded. It made sense. Taking a small bite of my salmon, I looked back to him, wanting him to continue.
“So how does social media work? If everyone could access it, wouldn’t it mean the cops can as well?”
He shook his head. “The social media account is set up in codes, and only a few people have access to it. Aiden only put it up for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, tops. Aiden relies on the people who have access to the account to spread the word, mostly going out to other people from different schools within the state. We like to stick close to home, but there has been a few time where we would travel farther out. And we never fight in the same place twice.”
“So how do you make money?”
Jackson hesitated, but only for a brief second. “We charge an admission fee of a hundred bucks a person.”
“And people would pay that much to enter?”
Jackson nodded. “People likes the excitement, the thrill of watching people beat the crap out of each other and to be in with the crowd. There really isn’t a price too high, though we mostly make our money through the betting ring.”
“Bets?”
Jackson nodded, cutting into a piece of rib. He waved the fork in front of my face, and with a smile, I leaned forward and took the meat off it. The barbeque flavor instantly filled my mouth, and I almost regret not ordering it, but my salmon good, too. Besides, I didn’t think I could make eating ribs look as good as Jackson did. He didn’t even have any barbeque sauce on his fingers.
I forked up some of my salmon and fed it to him. He took a bite without ever looking away from me.
He chewed and swallowed before he continued. I almost forgot what we were talking about until he spoke. “Aiden runs the bet and only Aiden. The bets are usually placed on who would win the fight. And it’s not just placed at the betting rings but all over. People don’t have to go the fight to participant in the bet.”
“And you always win?” I asked, eyeing his biceps. They were likely twice the size of my thigh, and they feel incredible wrapped around me.
“Not always. Used to get the crap beat out of me.” I moved in a little closer to him, and he smiled. “I’ve gotten better, and it’s true I’ve won more fights than I’ve lost them.”
“Why do you do it?” I asked. “You obviously don’t need the money.”
He shook his head. “The money is my parents. It’s not mine. But you’re right. My grandfather set up a trust fund big enough that I don’t really have to worry about money right now, but I don’t fight for the money. I fight for the thrill.”
His eyes moved around my face, and then he used his thumb to wipe away the barbeque sauce on my lips. Then he brought his thumb up to his mouth and licked the sauce cleaned. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, but when a blush made its way up my cheeks, I was positive it had nothing to do with embarrassment.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “You didn’t.” I wouldn’t call it uncomfortable. What I felt was new and unnamed. Something akin to desire perhaps. Did I desire Jackson?
We finished our meal in silence, only pausing once in a while to feed each other off of our plate before Jackson called for the check.
“Come on. Let’s go see that movie,” Jackson said as soon as he paid for our meal. Then he helped me out of my seat, placing me tucked into his side, with one hand on my waist.
A bout of heat rushed to the very center of me that nearly brought my whole world off its axis. I stuttered in my steps, and Jackson held onto me a little tighter.
Yes, I decided. I desired Jackson Wright, and he was all mine to have.
Sunday morning, I put on a light blue sundress and a white cardigan, along with a yellow cotton scarf. My hair was brushed straight down my back. I checked on my makeup in the bathroom mirror just as someone knocked on the front door lightly. I looked at the time and frowned.
Grant wasn’t due to come until nine. It was barely eight-thirty in the morning.
I opened the door, and my eyes widened in surprised when I saw Jackson standing there, a smile on his face, his eyes taking on an appreciative gleam as he took in what I was wearing.
“Hey, sweetheart. Where are you going all dressed up like that?”
“On a breakfast date,” I answered, moving away from the door and into his arms. “Grant’s due to pick me up in half an hour.”
I tilted my head back and planted a quick kiss on his jawline, his stubbles tickling my lips a little. When I moved back, I realized he wasn’t smiling anymore.
“What?” I asked.
“Ah, it’s nothing. I was kind of hoping to get you to myself for the day.”
I gave him a pleased smile. “You can come with us. Grant won’t mind. You can even bring Aiden.”
He didn’t say anything, as if the answer still didn’t satisfy him. He couldn’t be that upset about not spending more time with me, could he?
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Before I could say anything more, he bent down and kissed me, long and deep. It was one out of the hundreds of times he had kissed me and still, I felt the spark just where our lips touched. I could feel my skin getting flush, and the same feeling I had on our date that Thursday crept back in. I’d been experiencing that same feeling a lot around Jackson, and I was unable to put a name to it.
I had already called it desire, but it felt like so much more. I squirmed, causing Jackson to break away from the kiss and looked down at me, his eyebrows pulling in together. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I answered. I looked down and played with the hem of his black shirt. It was his favorite shirt. It was quickly becoming mine, too.
“Are you sure?”
“Well…” I wasn’t really sure how to voice what I was feeling, and I didn’t know how to say it without making my face turn as red as a ripe tomato. And most people would say blushing is pretty on a girl, but that had never been true with me.
My blush usually comes out across my whole face and neck, making me look almost feverish. There wasn’t anything delicate about it.
“Yes?” he said when I stopped talking. I didn’t say anything for a long while, and neither did he. He kept his eyes on me, and I had no doubt sooner or later, he would see right through me.
His eyes lit up, and a happy sort of smile overtook his face. He grabbed my hands in his, covering them whole, keeping them warm from the early spring morning.
And then he pulled me in and he just…
He just held me.
There wasn’t any need for words because Jackson got it, and rather than making me feel ashamed about it, he sheltered me with his body, making it so I could hang onto him.
Grant’s car pulled up minutes later, the engine loud and distracting. He had put in a muffled two years ago when he got the car. Grant like the loud noise, though I always thought he only liked it so much because his dad hated it.
I moved out of Jackson’s arm and over to Grant, who was getting out of his car, a soft smile playing at his lips.
“I should have guessed he’d be coming along,” Grant said playfully.
“Be nice,” I warned.
He mocked salute me before turnin
g to Jackson and shook his hand. “Hey, man,” he greeted.
“Hey.” Jackson wrapped his arms around me when he let go of Grant’s hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The truth was, if he were near me and wasn’t touching me, it would throw me off balance. Already, I was spoiled when it came to his touches.
“So, where are we going?”
“The Pancake Lovers. Have you ever been there?” Grant asked
Jackson shook his head.
Grant laughed. “You’ll love it. It’s Emily’s favorite place to go on Sunday.”
Jackson smiled at me. “Good to know. Should we just take my car? You can leave yours here.”
Grant nodded. “Sounds good.”
Just as we made a move to Jackson’s car, a blue truck pulled up into my driveway, this one familiar to me. Grant and I both shared a look, but we didn’t say anything as the man got out of the driver’s seat.
Jerimiah steps out, his footfalls faltered a little when he caught sight of Jackson. He smiled his easy smile, but instead of making me feel charmed as I was sure most women living in my neighborhood could attest to, it just left me feeling exposed.
I unconsciously move back into Jackson’s chest while his arms tightened around me.
“Hey kids,” Jerimiah greeted when he was close enough. He wasn’t the sort of man to shout out anything. He was charming and nice. Perhaps a little too nice? It always felt artificial. So unlike my dad, who was nothing if not straightforward. It was a wonder how those two could remain friends for so long.
“Hey dad,” Grant said quietly. It was no secret that Grant didn’t get along with his dad. After all, Jerimiah was the reason his mom left in the first place. It was also no secret that he made me feel uncomfortable. It was one of the main reason Grant and I never hung out at his house.
But Jerimiah was my dad’s friend. And he visited my dad often.
“Who’s this?” Jerimiah asked, looking at Jackson.
“This is Jackson. Emily’s boyfriend,” Grant said.
Maybe I imagined it, maybe not, but I could’ve sworn I saw his eyes tightened a fraction as he took in Jackson.
I was secretly happy to see that, standing side by side, Jackson was easily twice as big as Jerimiah.
Jerimiah had always seemed larger than life to me, a man with power and strength, but next to Jackson, he appeared… less than average.
I wrapped my arms around Jackson’s waist and move until my face was tucked under his chin. “We should probably get going,” I said.
Grant nodded. Jackson hadn’t said anything, and when I looked up, I found him having some sort of stare off with Jerimiah. Neither men wanted to be the first to look away.
I tugged at Jackson’s shirt until he was forced to look down at me. “Let’s go,” I said softly. He nodded and pulled me along. Not wanting to seem rude, I waved to Jerimiah.
Jackson opened the passenger door for me, and like each and every time he’d done so, he bent down and buckled me in, as if I was incapable of doing so myself.
“I can put on a seatbelt, you know.”
Jackson smiled, but it was forced. “I know.” He removed a strand of hair away from my face. “Don’t think I missed your reaction to that man. When we’re alone, I want you to tell me about him.”
I didn’t know what else to say, so I nodded. His eyes took in my face, unblinking. Almost as if he was afraid I might disappear at any given second.
“I’m fine. Let’s go.”
Finally, he stood up and closed the door. Climbing into the driver’s side, he started the car and put the heat on low. Reaching behind him, he grabbed a black sweater and handed it to me. “Put it on. You’re so small, the slightest wind could make you cold,” he said. I smiled. He watched as I put it on. It smelled like him.
“Guys, did you forget I was back here?” Grant asked.
I blushed and looked out the window, as I let out a tiny, “No.” I was thankful Jerimiah had made his way to my house and wasn’t watching us.
Jackson put the car in drive without another word, though I knew he was watching me from the corner of his eyes.
“Text Aiden, will you?” Jackson asked Grant.
Grant nodded. I didn’t even realize Grant and Aiden had exchanged numbers. It showed how much better Jackson was for me when Grant obviously approved.
12
Past: Emily
And so it became like a routine.
Jackson had inserted himself into every single aspect of life until everything for me became him and just him.
He was becoming a constant I was quickly getting addicted to. I loved every morning when he would pick me up for school, and I loved it when I didn’t have work, and he would take me to his grandparent’s house.
I loved the nights I get to spend in his arms best. When his legs tangled in with mine from underneath the sheets, when his arms wrapped around me so tightly, as if he couldn’t stand the thought of putting in any space between us, and when his large body covered mine, sheltering me from all that was bad in the world.
I loved him.
The thought took me by surprise, but once it came, it was hard to get rid of. I could hear the truth echoed out in every syllable of those three seemingly insignificant words. Yet, it felt like a big deal.
The thought had come so sudden, so easy. Just one morning, like every other morning, when he drove to my house ten minutes before I was even ready, when he knocked quietly on my door, and greeted me with one of those smiles he reserved just for me. I realized then, I had fallen for Jackson Wright, and there was just no way for me to get up from that.
“What?” he asked when I kept staring at him.
I couldn’t look away. And what was it about him that had made me fall for him so easily.
It wasn’t his devastating good looks. You didn’t fall in love with what you can see. Not when I couldn’t see the very emotion myself. But I felt it.
“Nothing,” I told him. “I’m still not ready.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind waiting for you.”
I indicated with my head for him to come in, grabbing his hand and leading him into my room. I pointed at the bed. “Sit.”
He sat down, but before I could walk away, he grabbed onto my waist and pulled me down on his lap.
“Jackson, I have to get ready soon or we’ll be late.”
“One minute, Emily. Just give me a minute to hold you in my arms.”
I nodded. I supposed a minute couldn’t hurt. I relaxed into his arms and rested my head on his chest, letting the comforts of him wrapped around me like a warm cotton blanket.
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked him.
I could feel his hesitation before he said, “I just wished we were years away from now when I have you and only you. When I’d wake up, it’s to you and no one else.” He played with my hair before he continued. “I had a fight with my dad this morning.”
I pulled back a little so I could look at him. “What was it about?” I asked. I didn’t want to make him feel like he had to tell me, but he brought it up, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. He had never spoken of his family before.
Jackson laughed, a humorless laugh. “What isn’t it about? I don’t even know anymore.” He shook his head and looked at me. “I’m sorry to unload on you like this.”
I cupped his cheek, his stubbles rough against my palms. “I’m not. I want to hear about it. And every time you want to talk, you can come to me.”
He bent down and kissed me. I opened my mouth for him and then his tongue was inside, sliding against my tongue in the best way possible, making me crazy in the best way possible. When he pulled back, his eyes had regained some of the light I was so used to seeing. “What would I do without you, Emily?”
“You keep on living,” I told him.
He frowned, not liking the answer very much. “That doesn’t sound possible.”
I shook my head. “Of course it is.”
He
kissed me again, this time quicker than the first before he helped me out of his lap. “Go get ready. I know how much you hate being late for class.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say more because it didn’t feel like the conversation was finished, but I didn’t know what to say. So I turned, grabbed my clothes, and walked into the bathroom to change out of my pajamas.
We got to school with five minutes to spare, enough time for Jackson to walk me to my class, not enough to stop by our locker. I handed Jackson our lunches, and kissed him on the cheek, then I stepped inside the classroom and sat in my usual seat.
Some of the girls in class stared at me as I walked passed, none of them looking happy. I imagined they probably knew Jackson throughout most of his life. They run in the same social circle as him, and they were all beautiful.
And like each and every time some girl looked at me the wrong way, I wondered what her history with Jackson really was.
It was hard not to feel vulnerable, especially when I had just realized how far my feelings for Jackson really went. And that left me wondering what he could possibly see in me.
I kept my head down throughout the class, while the teacher lectured on about something that went through one ear and out the other.
By the time the bell rang, and I walked out the door, finding Jackson standing there waiting for me, it didn’t feel real. I had become so dependent on him, it felt like I might just up and disappear without a trace if he weren’t close by. Could he see my fears reflected in my eyes?
“What wrong?” he asked when I walked to him. The girls in the class walked passed us, their laughter unusually high, as they all sneaked in glances at my boyfriend. One girl was brave to greet him. He offered a small smile back, but otherwise, his focus stayed on me.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
I let him hold my hand as he walked me to my next class.
“Do you usually leave class early?” I asked.
Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology Page 12