“I get it,” Grant said softly. “I love her, too, you know. And I don’t even know how or why she had gotten like this. None of us saw it coming. You shouldn’t blame yourself for this.”
A sob came out of his throat then, and he did nothing to hide it. “Not blame myself? Grant, I live with her. I climb into bed with her every single night. I should have seen it coming!” His shoulders shook as his vision blurred. “But I didn’t. And now, we might lose her.”
“Don’t say that! You don’t get to give up hope, Jackson. Not when she needs you here with her. You should be the first face she sees when she opens her eyes, not mine, and not Aiden’s. So get your ass back here and give your wife the motivation to fight whatever it is that’s keeping her under. Tell her to wake up and not leave us behind!”
Jackson could tell Grant was trying to hold back his tears because he could hear the tremors in his voice that told Jackson Grant was seconds away from losing it.
“I’ll be there, soon,” Jackson said quietly and hung up.
He sat in his car for a minute or two, and then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out, bringing his wife’s journal with him.
This journal would tell him why. It would give him all the answers he needed. And he needed to know what it was Emily was fighting before he comes back to her and be the kind of husband she deserved.
16
Past: Emily
As I was walking out of the bathroom, I almost ran into someone. Pulling back, I stuttered out an apology that quickly died off my lips when I realized who was standing in front of me.
Frowning, I tried to walk around her, only she blocked my path. I knew I didn’t want to confront Beth in the enclosed space of the girl’s bathroom, so I stayed where I was and waited for her to say whatever it was she came to say.
For a long moment, she just stared down at me. Given that she was at least four inches taller than me, it wasn’t hard for her to do. And then, “I don’t get it.”
I didn’t want to respond since I didn’t really care what she thought. But I wanted to get the conversation moving just so she would leave me alone, so I said, “Get what?”
She smiled. And it was much more terrible than Jude’s smile. “What he sees in you. You are less than average if that. And mousy. There really isn’t anything attractive about you.”
I smiled, only mine wasn’t as cruel. “He found something in me that he didn’t find with you. I was able to make Jackson mine way before we even kiss.” I moved in closer to her, growing more confident. Jackson had a hand in that. “Something you couldn’t even do on your back.”
Her eyes widened in anger, and then I saw stars. I shouldn’t be surprised that she slapped me, only I was.
When my vision came back, I found her coming at me for another attack, but someone was suddenly there, blocking her.
“Leave, bitch. Before I do something we’d both regret,” Aiden said menacingly.
Beth took a step back, her eyes looking for me, only Aiden moved to the side and block her view. He took a step forward, and without another word, she turned and scrambled off.
Aiden turned toward me, anger still evident on his face, though they softened when his eyes met mine. “Are you okay?”
I tried to speak, only there was a lump stuck in my throat, and then my vision blurred, and I was shaking.
Aiden let out a string of curses that were rather impressive before he pulled me in his arms and moved us back inside the girl’s bathroom.
He held onto me as I quietly sob into his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his arms tightening around me.
I looked up, and he wiped away my tears with the pad of his thumbs. “Why are you sorry?” I asked.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. That shouldn’t have happened.”
I shook my head. “I-it’s not your fault.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I’m still sorry.”
I nodded, though not in agreement but in acknowledgment. “Please don’t tell Jackson.”
He frowned. “Why not? He would want to know. And Beth coming at you is his fault.” Aiden clenched his jaw, and I was surprised he was just as mad at Jackson as he was at Beth.
I thought about when Jackson and I first met. He and Jude were fighting. I wasn’t sure why they fought, only I suspected it had something to do with Beth. But I never asked him.
“He's already worried about how things are going to be for me at school. I don’t want to add to it when it’s obviously not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? She hurt you!”
I flinched and tried to move away. Aiden tightened his arms around me. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
“It’s not a big deal,” I told him. “This is the first time she’s ever done that. I’ll avoid her for now on and make sure I don’t go anywhere by myself.”
His eyes twitched. “I don’t like this, Emily.”
“I know. But I should be able to decide whether I want to tell Jackson or not. Please, Aiden.”
He didn’t say anything but finally, relent with a curt nod. I sagged in relief. And smiled at him, which softened him up. He was very much like Grant in that aspect. The smile he shot back at me was just as soft. And even as he was holding me, there was nothing but comfort between us.
It was purely platonic, but to an outsider, it probably looked more than innocent, which just happened to be the case when the door opened, and one of the senior girls walked in.
She took one look at Aiden and me wrapped in each other’s arms, and her eyes gleamed from having something juicy to gossip to her friends about.
“Sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she said with a not so nice smile. Then she walked back out.
Aiden let go of me and, once again let out a string of curse words. “I’ll fix this, Emily. Shannon’s harmless.”
“I don’t think she’s very harmless,” I mumbled. “It’s fine. Jackson trusts you and me.”
Aiden shook his head. “He’s not the one I’m worried about. The whole school…”
I shrugged. “It’s not like I’m not already in the gossip. And in case you haven’t heard, there’s already a rumor going around about you and me.”
“What?” Aiden asked, surprise.
I gave him a bitter smile. “People love a good story.”
“I don’t believe this.”
“How could you not have heard anything before? It’s all over the school. Apparently, I’m using Jackson to get to you. And Grant is my side piece.” I made a face.
“This is ridiculous.”
“Like I said, I’ll be fine.”
“But you shouldn’t have to deal with it. This isn’t fair to you.”
“Life’s not fair. I think I have it good when in exchange for a few bad stories, I get Jackson.”
“Still…”
“Aiden, I’m fine. I promise. Walked me to class, will you?”
He grumbled something under his breath but held opened the door for me, and he did as I asked. He walked me to class, glaring at anyone who would even dare look my way. I wanted to tell him he was only fueling the rumors by acting like my bodyguard, but he was so determined to make sure no one would look at me wrong, I didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise.
When we got to my class, Aiden turned to me, his eyes assessing. He nodded once and walked off.
I watched him leave until he was no longer in sight.
Then with a sigh, I pivoted around and walked in.
I didn’t know it then. But Aiden would become my biggest ally in life. And it wouldn’t be the first time I asked him to lie to Jackson for me.
By the time school let out, the rumors about Aiden and me were already spreading like wildfires. I would receive suggestive looks from the boys in class that told me exactly what they were thinking about, and smug looks from the girls, as if they were all expecting Jackson to leave me once he caught wind of it.
I was sure someone had already told him abo
ut the events that took place in the bathroom. But I wasn’t worried.
Jackson wasn’t like Ethan, I reminded myself. He wouldn’t jump to that kind of conclusion without talking to me first.
At least, I had thought so, until I found Jackson by my locker, waiting for me, a dark look on his face.
I had never seen him look like that.
Though I was still unconvinced that his mood was reflected on the rumors, so I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
He stiffened for a second or so until he wrapped his arms around me tightly. Pulling back a little, I looked up and met his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
He took me in for a moment. And I didn’t think he would answer, but he did, though his reply was curt and toneless. “Nothing.”
Frowning, I moved out of his arms and noticed his stiff posture. “Ready to go?” I asked quietly.
He nodded and grabbed ahold of my backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. If he was carrying my backpack for me, and pulling me to his side, he couldn’t be mad at me, right?
I wasn’t so sure.
We didn’t talk on the way out of the school, which was so unlike us. The air was thick with tension, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Jackson opened the door for me, and I mumbled out a thank you before setting in the seat.
He didn’t buckle me in like he had always done, and somehow, the act left me feeling neglected, which I knew was ridiculous.
Trying to hide how wounded he left me, I didn’t talk to him as he drove me… home.
I frowned.
He never drove me home after school unless I had work, and that was only briefly so that I could change into my work uniform. But I didn’t have work, and he drove me home. As if he was trying to get rid of me.
When he pulled the car into the driveway, he set it in park but didn’t shut off the engine. He didn’t plan on staying. Taking a deep breath, I turned to him and said, “You heard about Aiden and me?”
His jaw clenched. “Do you want to explain?”
I jumped back from the hostility in his voice, only to be met with resistance from the car door. Then my eyes narrowed as anger made way through my body. “Explain? Now you want to hear what I have to say? From the looks of it, you already made up your mind.”
Tears build in my eyes, as I quickly turned away so he wouldn’t see and opened the door. I was halfway to the front porch of my house when Jackson was there in front of me.
“Tell me, because let me tell you, Emily, I’ve been going out of my mind, having all these images in my head.”
I shook my head. “No!”
I walked around him, but he stopped me by firmly wrapping his hand around my forearms.
I turned around and narrowed my eyes on him. “You’re hurting me.” Which was a lie. We both knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but he let go of me anyway, running his fingers through his hair.
Taking in a deep breath, he said calmly, “Just tell me, Emily. I want to hear it from you. What were you doing with Aiden in the girl’s bathroom?”
I deflated on the spot. He hurt me worse than Ethan had ever hurt me, because I had come to trust Jackson, despite the fact that he was the experienced one. He was the one every girl in school wanted to be with. I was sure many flirted with him throughout the day, even when he made it clear that he was with me.
Still, I trusted him. And he didn’t trust me.
Jackson looked like he wanted to hold me in his arms, but he didn’t. He stood there and took in my pathetic form. Couldn’t he see how vulnerable he had made me? Couldn’t he see how defenseless I really was when it came to him?
“Aiden came to me when Beth was giving me trouble. She… she hurt me, and Aiden was there. He stopped her from doing anything more to me, and when I couldn’t stop crying, he brought me into the girl’s bathroom to get away from prying eyes. Except, he didn’t lock the door, and Shannon walked in on us. Are you happy now?”
Jackson’s face paled, but before he could say any more, I turned around and walked away. I didn’t get very far, though, because Jackson was there, holding me in his arms the way I wanted him to hold me earlier when I was feeling sad. It was much too late, and I struggled to get away, but he was stronger than me. There wasn’t any way for me to escape, so after a while, I stopped fighting him and stopped fighting the tears.
They flowed steadily down my cheeks.
“Shit, baby. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
I turned around and looked at him, letting him wipe away my tears. It was only fair since he was the one to cause it in the first place.
“You don’t trust me.” He flinched, but I didn’t stop. “You don’t even trust Aiden.”
“Emily, I…”
I shook my head and let out a cynical laugh. “Just earlier when Aiden wanted to tell you, I told him not to, because even if you heard the rumors, there’s no way you would have believed them. I guess I was wrong.”
I pulled back and he didn’t stop me. “What is your relationship with Beth?” I asked quietly. Could he hear the tremors in my voice?
“Emily, whatever I had with her ended a long time ago. Nothing more.”
“She has always been mean. Especially to me. And I don’t know why. But ever since we started dating, she’s been especially nasty. And I can’t help but think perhaps she’s still not over you. Except, she’s with Jude. She has always been with Jude. So what is your relationship with her?” I asked again.
When he didn’t answer, I walked away, and I didn’t turn around, even as he called my name.
Two hours later, and I was still hiding inside my house. I didn’t call Grant like I wanted to, and I didn’t have Aiden’s number to make sure he was okay. Jackson was mad at me earlier, but he would never physically hurt me. I couldn’t say Jackson wouldn’t hurt Aiden, though.
My suspicion was confirmed, when just as I was looking around my pathetic kitchen for food, the doorbell rang.
I walked over to it and opened the front door, my eyes widened in surprised when I caught sight of Aiden’s face. “Oh, my God.”
He smiled. “It looks worse than it really is. And I got in a few good punches before I was able to calm him down.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You were right. We should have told him.”
He shrugged. “You have a lot of faith in him. That’s good because he’s going to need it. He’ll mess up so many times, it won’t even be funny. But he’ll treat you right. And he loves you. That’s probably why he’s so irrational when it comes to you.”
I shook my head, though I didn’t know what to say to that. I moved back for him to come in.
“Have you talked to him after he dropped me off at home?”
“Yeah. He’s a mess. He doesn’t know what to do with himself when you’re mad at him. Are you going to stay mad at him long?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t think I was mad anymore. Just hurt. And I didn’t know how to make it go away. My pride wouldn’t allow me to forgive Jackson at the moment. And I guess we would both suffer because of it.
“Are you really okay?” I asked Aiden. His left eye was black, which was what surprised me, but looking closely at him, I didn’t see any other injuries.
His eyes softened as he took me in. “I’m fine. What were you doing just now before I came?”
I shrugged, though I could feel my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. To make matter worse, my stomach chose that second to make my hunger known.
He laughed and ruffled my hair as if I was a kid. “Come on, let’s go eat.”
I shot him a hesitant smile as he led me out of the house, waiting patiently for me by the front door as I locked up.
He opened the car door for me, but unlike Jackson, he didn’t linger. Just the thought of how Jackson and I had left things made my heart plummet.
I didn’t want to fight with him. It had only been two hours since I last seen him and already I missed him. What was he doing? And did he miss me as much a
s I missed him? Had he grown as dependent on me as I had on him?
Aiden climbed in and turned to me. “So, what do you want to eat tonight?”
“Steaks,” I answered automatically.
“Jackson took you there already, huh?” he said with a smile.
I nodded. “Yes. Can we please go?” I even pouted.
“Alright, alright,” he said with an exaggerated sigh, though I knew he was only playing around.
With a winked, he pulled out of the driveway and drove off.
During dinner, Aiden made me laugh so hard, I almost spit out my water all over the steak. And temporarily, for the next couple of hours, I was able to forget about Jackson and all of my problems.
17
Past: Emily
The next morning, I woke up early and got ready for school.
I could have blamed it on not being able to sleep, but I knew why I was up so early. I was avoiding Jackson.
I didn’t know if he was going to pick me up or not, but I didn’t want to take my chances. I wasn’t ready to face him yet.
I was a coward.
I walked out of my house just as the sun was rising, and my steps faltered when I caught sight of the black Prius on my driveway.
I stood there and stared at it, not sure what I should do. I was debating on whether or not I should turn back around and hide in my house for the rest of the day when the driver’s door opened, and Jackson climbed out, heavy bags under his eyes, his hair a mess, and still in the same clothes he had on yesterday.
“Did you sleep in your car last night?” I asked when he was close enough.
He nodded, his eyes raking over me anxiously, as if he was afraid I would ask him to leave. I didn’t have the heart to do so.
“Here? Did you sleep in your car here all night?” I asked again, though I already knew the answer.
“I didn’t want to leave you,” he said quietly, and somehow that little statement undid me more than any apologies he could have offered.
Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology Page 15