And I was going to see him fight with Jude in the upcoming Friday.
I hadn’t told him I would be going, but Grant agreed to take me. I wasn’t sure how Jackson would react to seeing me there, which was why I put off telling him.
The bell chimed, and I frowned at the person who walked in. I hadn’t seen Max since before the incident with Ethan at school.
I hoped Ethan wasn’t with him, because I wasn’t sure how I would react. How Jackson would react once he was here to pick me up.
Max walked over to me, with that dispassionate expression of his, the one he always wore. I always thought that was how he looked when he was high, which more likely than not, was always the case.
The stench of weed filled my nostril when he was close enough. I moved back a step and instantly regretted it when his eyes flared. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to cause any trouble. Just picking up some stuff to go.”
I nodded and was about to walk away when he spoke again, his words surprising me.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about how Ethan treated you when you guys were going out, and for when he attacked you at the school. I told him to let it go, but he’s just… he’s unreasonable. I didn’t know he was going to do that.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I always thought you were too nice to be with someone like him. It’s unfortunate that he didn’t know how to keep you.”
My lips thinned to keep from blurting out anything I might regret. I had only known Max for about a year. Still, we hadn’t spoken more than a handful of words to each other. And now I was getting his sympathy.
He moved in closer to me, his voice lowered when he spoke, “You need to be careful.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s always hanging out with Jude.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
He shook his head, a wistful smile on his face. “They’ve been getting high together since the beginning of the school year.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said quietly.
“Yeah, neither does a lot of people. It wouldn’t go over well if they knew our star quarterback was doing drugs between practice.” There was a slight hitch to his voice when he said ‘star’ which told me exactly how he felt about our school’s football team. I laughed.
It was no secret out football team was at the bottom of the school’s district. I was sure we hadn’t won a game in almost four years. The coaches weren’t even trying anymore.
Max shrugged, his lips curved upwards in a small smile. It was about as much emotions as I was going to get from him.
“But that’s not what I wanted to say. You remember your last date with him, don’t you?”
My back tensed, already not liking where this was going. I nodded. It was when Ethan ditched me before we even order our food, while Jude, Beth, and their friends came in, cornering me.
I knew something wasn’t right about that date. And now, I was sure it wasn’t Ethan trying to make up for ignoring me so much, but something much more malicious.
“They planned it. Jude saw Jackson’s interest in you, and he wanted to see for himself. I don’t exactly know what they planned to do once Ethan left you at the diner, because they didn’t say. At least not in front of me.” He shook his head, his eyes tightening in disgust. “I called Jackson as soon as I left.”
“What?”
He nodded. “I figure if he were interested in you, he would show up. And sure enough, he did.”
“I don’t get it. Why are you telling me this now? Ethan’s your friend.”
“We haven’t been friends in a while. And I’m telling you this because I know Ethan and Jude haven’t let it go. Haven’t let you go. Just be careful, Emily.” He shot me a rueful smile. “Like I said. I always thought you were too good to be with Ethan.” He paused. “Too good to be with me. But still, I couldn’t let you go.”
“Max…” I had no idea. All this time, I thought he hated me. That he thought I was too uptight and that was why he usually ignored me during the few times I had hung out with him and Ethan.
“I’m just glad to see you’re happy. Take care of yourself.”
Then he walked to the counter and picked up the box of food Jamie already had set aside for him. Paying her in cash, he grabbed the box and walked out, shooting me one last smile.
I didn’t know what to think to any of the things he said to me. Not to him being attractive to me, to the unusual friendship of Jude and Ethan, and not even to the fact that, my first date with Jackson hadn’t been unintentional as I had thought.
And he never told me.
Fifteen minutes before my shift ended, the door chimed announcing Jackson’s arrival. He shot me an easy smile, one that I returned, though it felt forced.
Frowning, Jackson made his way to me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Not here. I’ll tell you in the car?”
He didn’t seem happy with my answer, but he nodded anyway and walked to a table nearby, his eyes trained on me all the while.
Jamie was there when I clocked out, and as soon as I had done so, she pulled me off to the side and asked if I was okay.
“I’m fine, Jamie.”
“Are you sure? Because I saw that boy talking to you earlier, and ever since he left, you been out of it.”
I looked down. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me, sweetie. If you’re not feeling well, you know you can always tell me. We can go to my office and talk about it.”
I gave her a small smile. “I’m okay. Really. And Jackson’s here so I should probably get going.”
“Okay. Just remember my door is always open, no matter what day or time it is. Do you understand?”
I blinked away at the sudden assault of tears. Giving her a quick hug, I pulled back and said, “Thanks, Jamie.”
She nodded, her kind eyes taking me in with a hesitant smile playing on her lips. I smiled back and walked over to where Jackson was. He pulled me into his arms right away, planting a soft kiss at my temple.
“Let’s get out of here, and you can tell me what’s got you so down?”
I nodded and walked out to his car, letting him opened the door for me, and as usual, buckled me in.
“Jackson,” I called out, and he paused in his movements. I cupped his chin until he was looking at me. “I love you.”
He didn’t hesitate to respond. “I love you, too.”
“Will you love me forever?” I asked him. I asked him this before. I love his answer each time he gave it to me.
“Just until I die.” I knew he couldn’t say anything about after. Unlike me, he didn’t believe in God. But that was okay, too.
“I’ll love you forever,” I said. Even after. It was because of him that I was safe. And as much as it pained me to know that Ethan had planned for me to get hurt by Jude, I was glad Jackson was there to protect me.
“Max came by today,” I said.
He frowned. “Was he alone?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he was. He told me he called you before.”
Jackson nodded. “I’m sorry, Emily. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why?”
“Because that bastard already hurt you enough. If I could, I would erase all the hurt he inflicted onto you.”
“I don’t think I care anymore. I did when Max told me. But now, I don’t care that mine and Ethan’s so-called date was a setup. It brought me to you.”
He turned and kissed the inside of my palm. “Yes, it did.”
“Get me home, Jackson.”
He nodded and stood up to his full height. He closed the door and walked to the driver’s seat. And then we were off.
Driving home. And I didn’t mean my house or his parent’s house. I meant his grandparents’ house, his house. The house I already thought of as home.
19
Past: Emily
When we got home, the house was surprising
ly warm.
The weather was getting warmer and warmer, and it was becoming uncomfortable with the heat on all the time.
“Maybe leave the heat off?” I told Jackson when I saw him walking over to the thermostat.
He easily agreed. I knew he wasn’t cold. The heat was for me.
“So, what do you want to do? Are you hungry?”
I shook my head. “I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay. Let’s get ready for bed first. I want to hold you in my arms while we talk because I have a feeling I’m not going to like where this is going.”
My lips twitched. “I don’t think it’s bad.” I didn’t think it would be good either, especially since I didn’t know how he would react.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked seriously, though the humor in his eyes gave him away.
I was outright smiling then. “No, and stop distracting me.”
Jackson pouted. I couldn’t help but leaned up and nibbled gently on his lips, causing him to groan. I moved in closer, placing my hands on his chest.
“Now who’s distracting? You’re just as bad as me.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
I raised my arms out, and he smiled at me, his eyes tender. Without another word, he picked me up and carried me upstairs.
“I think you like it when I carry you.”
“It’s your fault. You got me addicted.”
He made a small hummed in approval. “Good.”
Jackson gently deposited me in front of the master bath. Giving my backside a light tapped he walked away, probably to the other bathroom to get ready himself.
Ten minutes later, I was lying on the bed wearing one of Jackson’s black t-shirt.
It smelled like him.
I was thinking they should make perfume out of Jackson’s scent alone when he walked in wearing dark blue lounge pants and nothing else.
My eyes made slow progress down his body, from his laughing eyes to the amused tilt of his lips, down to his broad naked chest, defined abs, and lower still, the deep V at his hips, to the light scattering of hair around his navel, leading inside to his…
I brought my eyes back up quickly, and Jackson was full out laughing at me.
I knew from touch that he was well endowed, although I have never seen him fully naked before. It was still a surprise to find him like that.
“Your innocence is refreshing,” he said, moving toward the bed.
“Jackson…”
“Yes?”
I shook my head in frustration. “Never mind,” I pouted.
The pad of his thumb pressed against my lips as he looked over my face. “You’re frustrated. I get it. I just don’t want to scare you away by rushing into the physical aspect of our relationship.”
“How would you scare me away? I trust you.”
His eyes softened. “I know. And that’s exactly why I have to be careful with you.”
“I don’t want you to be careful. Jackson, I crave you.”
His eyes flared in satisfaction before he tampered it down. “And your kisses do nothing to bring it down. I want more.” Shyly, I looked up at him through my eyelashes. “We don’t have to go all the way. Like that time when you… when you touched me. And maybe this time, I can touch you, too.”
I boldly made my eyes lowered.
He groaned and moved in closer, placing his hand on the small of my back as he kissed me. But this isn’t like his usual kisses. This was untamed, much like the boy himself.
I kissed him back with equal fervor while I clutched at his shoulders to keep him to me. He ran his hand up and down my spine, before going lower down and cupped my backside, giving me a forceful squeeze and then pulling me to him until I was straddled on his lap.
“God,” he gritted out when I moved my hips a certain driving us both a little crazy. “Sweetheart. You have to be careful, or this is going to be over before you know it.”
I frowned. “Why would it be over soon?”
He groaned again. “Your innocence… it turns me on to know I will be the one to teach you about all this.”
“Okay,” I breathed out. “I’ll be a good student.”
He smiled, and helping me off his lap, he placed me in front of him.
“Let’s get you naked,” he said against my cheek. I nodded. I couldn’t talk.
I stood still and watched as he reached for the hem of my shirt and lifted until I was naked except for the dark blue panties I wore.
Jackson’s amber eyes nearly darkened as he took me in. He ran his fingers gently down the column of my neck, my collar bones, and in between my breast. I gasped, and he smiled slightly.
I placed shaky hands on his hard chest. He tensed as I moved it over the expanse of golden skin.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered.
He shook his head, a rueful smile on his face. “I’m not beautiful, sweetheart. I don’t think there’s anything beautiful about me. But you? Your quiet beauty took me by surprise. I am completely enraptured by you.”
I stood still when he wrapped his arms around me, close enough to him that I could feel the heat coming off his body, and hid my face in his chest. I didn’t want him to see. To see all of me. And though he’d seen me naked before, I was still shy.
I couldn’t help but compare myself to some of the other girls at school. The popular girls, the ones confident in their body, because they had reasons to be.
I wasn’t exceptionally good at sports, I was clumsy, so I avoided any sort of physical exercise, making it so I was small but soft. Too soft.
Jackson cupped my cheek and lifted so that I would meet his eyes.
“What’s this?” he asked, frowning. I shook my head. I didn’t want to give a voice to my self-doubt.
Knowing Jackson, he would reassure me that I was beautiful. He seemed to think everything about me was beautiful, even all my imperfections, but he wasn’t blind.
He could clearly see the other girls, and even though he had no interest in them, he could see how perfect they were, how equally matched they were to him.
I shrugged and instead, moved closer to him and took his mouth in mine. But I wasn’t kissing because I wanted to kiss him.
I was kissing him because I knew he would close his eyes.
“Can we turn off the light?” I asked.
He pulled back again. For a while, he didn’t say anything. He traced his thumb under my eyes. I could almost see the cogs turning in his mind.
“Why?” he asked slowly.
Another shrug from me.
He traced a single finger around my lips. I shivered. “Emily, I’ve seen all of you before.” I nodded. I knew that. Still. “And there isn’t a single thing about your body that doesn’t turn me on.”
My eyes widened at his direct words. “Um, okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated with a smile. “Don’t hide from me, sweetheart. You should know you’re safe with me and safe in everything that we do.”
I nodded. “I do. It’s just… the other girls.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “What about them?”
When I didn’t answer, he cupped my shoulders and bent down so that we were eye to eye. “I’ve been with them,” he said. “I’m not going to lie to you and say they were all meaningless. They weren’t. But not one of them, and I mean not one, can compare to you. You should know there’s no competition.”
I avoided his gaze when my eyes felt wet, but Jackson wouldn’t allow it. He used his thumbs to wipe away some of the tears that fell.
“God, I don’t even know why I’m being like this. I’ve ruined this, haven’t I? You should just ignore me.”
He kissed me.
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to shut me up or what, but it worked. I opened my mouth to let him in, and he deepened the kiss.
When he pulled away, he buried his face in my neck and kissed the tender skin there. “I will not ignore you. Ever. If something is bothering you, I much rather you talk to me
about it then to keep it to yourself.” Pulling back, he met my eyes. “Understand?” I nodded.
When he made a move to cover me up, I stopped him. He looked questioningly at me, but I wouldn’t let him back out now.
I was feeling vulnerable, and if he rejected me again, I wasn’t sure how I would take it. So before he could stop me, I grabbed his hand and placed it on my breast. “Touch me,” I begged.
He didn’t let me wait. He kissed me again as he fondled my breast, kneading it, playing with it. I arched my back, bringing myself closer to him and moaned into his mouth when he soothed it with the gentle touch of his palm.
“Jackson,” I said, though I wasn’t sure what it was I was asking. All I knew was, I was feeling too much, and I needed him.
He gently pushed me down against the mattress. My heart was beating so fast against my chest, I felt lightheaded.
We were in a similar position before, and I could still remember how it felt when he touched me so intimately.
His smile was tender as he took me in.
“Trust me?” he asked.
“You know I do.”
“I know. But I need to hear you say it.”
I smiled back at him, which quickly vanished when his hands moved down to the hem of my panties. He traced a single finger on my skin just above it, from one hip to the next, stopping briefly at my navel.
I squirmed but kept my eyes firmly on him. I made sure he could see how hot he was making me as I anticipated his next move.
He moved to my panties, pulling them down slowly. I sucked in a sharp breathed when the back of his palm brushed up against me gently. Jackson never looked away from me. I was sure he could feel just how ready I was for him.
And when he discarded the skimpy fabric on the floor, he laid himself on top of me, crawling in between my spread thigh so that we touched in every place that matter, though the barrier of his pants prevented him from being inside of me. Bracing his weight on his forearms, he looked down at me.
I waited for his lead, even when a huge part of me really wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and keep him to me.
“You’re so beautiful, Emily. And you’re all mine.”
Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology Page 17