by Shakyra Dunn
Taciturn cerulean eyes bore into his soul, the fires stirring in her drawing out his own. Her lavender hair was drifting in the mid-autumn breeze, covering the thin scars lining her arms and face. Sien was snarling under her breath while tending to Rem, scoffing at Rem’s genuine surprise upon seeing the girl. She heard very little about any girls with such a shade of hair, or even about many girls at all from Rem, but the sense of sincerity on his face spoke leaps and bounds. Leilana couldn’t stop marveling at the sight of the girl, her appearance for the first time in months unexpected.
“It has been some time since you’ve surfaced,” Solus hissed. “And you decide to make an appearance by attacking us. How forward an invitation, Miss Farone.”
The party immediately became displeased with the girl’s presence. However, it was Rem that ended up at the front of the pack, lightly shoving Solus away to look her in the face. Solus was baffled and nearly pushed Rem back. Here he was again, defending a girl that constantly put them at odds with one another, disregarding even his closest companions.
“Amiria,” he began. “You’re part of the Order of Helix?” Leilana crossed her arms, averting her gaze off to the side.
Her lips remained shut before she finally decided to speak. “I don’t know if it’s wise to explain things, Your Highness.” Her tone was even, yet Rem was able to detect a hint of agony. So, she was keeping secrets about what she was doing and how she’d come to this point.
“You don’t have to be afraid to talk, Amiria,” Rem stated. “I want to listen.”
Unbelievable, Solus thought. How could he be so accepting of this girl? She threw him through an everlasting fire that wouldn’t extinguish unless he walked out himself.
Leilana’s mind was fixated on Kindall and Lancett; Lancett was so adamant about finding her, and they never crossed paths, not once. Maybe they never would again. And poor Kindall would probably be disappointed to see what Amiria had become. She could barely recognize Amiria now. Scars were coating her once delicate skin, and her hair was dry, loose strands brushed off to each side.
“If your duty is to Rem, why stand on the side of villainy?” Sien hissed, taking both Rem and Amiria by surprise. The red-haired girl was up on her feet, clutching her still throbbing jaw with her left hand, an arrow resting on her right. “What makes you think that joining the Order of Helix is the right thing to do when all that you’re doing is hurting people further?”
“I don’t think that’s your business,” Amiria snapped. Sien stepped closer, and Rem grabbed Amiria’s arm to keep her still, not wanting to beget any further violence.
“Sien, stop,” Rem warned.
“Why are you protecting her?!” Sien exclaimed. Rem suddenly winced in pain, reaching his hand towards his throbbing head, groaning. “She attacked you—attacked us! Are you going to seriously abandon decisions that come directly from your friends for a girl that you don’t know very well?!”
Rem pointed a finger at her, his eyes narrowing. Though his face was stern, his shaking hand and tired eyes told a different story; his pain was running deep. “Don’t judge my actions! I am your Prince! My words are of high decree, far from your simplistic statements!” Solus inhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Somehow, he knew the selfish, brooding side of his liege would come into play.
“Prince or not, you can’t do everything on your own and you know it!” Sien retorted. “Better make a choice, Rem, because time is running out for you!”
Amiria reached up a hand to caress Rem’s, slipping an orb into his palm once she was certain that eyes were off them. “You don’t have to fight to set things right, you know. You will always know where to find me should you need me.” With a slight shove, she broke free from Rem’s grasp. Amiria stole a glance at Leilana before retreating into the woods.
“Rem!” Solus rested his hands on the ailing Prince’s shoulders as Rem was struggling to rise to a sit, panting. Sweat was dripping down the side of his face, every exhale causing him to clutch his tightening chest. “Are you all right?”
“I-I think I will be.” Solus grabbed Rem’s open hand, pulling him to his feet. “I’ve been having weird headaches for weeks. Gale’s been giving me potions to take, and they work for a while, so I think it’s just stress, but then they start getting stronger, almost like migraines…”
“If they put you down that easily, that fast, those are no migraines,” Solus concluded. “Are you certain that you don’t want to stop and rest?”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’ll pass, I know it will.” Solus’s eyes narrowed, doubt coursing through his veins. Rem met the young attendant’s gaze, but neither of them uttered a word. Rem straightened his back, pointing towards the open path before them, resting his free hand on his sword’s sheath, slipping the orb into his pocket unseen in the process. “We’ve got a long walk ahead, so we’d better get started. Hopefully, there’s no more distractions down the road.”
Sien gripped to her sleeve, glaring at the prince’s back. Weren’t they friends? Haven’t they spent the last six months training, laughing and learning together to prepare for a war where she had no place? She was doing this for him, and he was giving time to someone else. Though her heart ached, she supposed that there was no point in holding a grudge against him for something that he couldn’t control. He was going to make his own decisions regardless of what anyone else could say—he was still human, after all, and could only make amends through suggestions that he felt would suit his needs.
They were still friends. And so long as she was breathing, she would remain at his side, healing his wounds, being a constant comfort to him, even if it meant shouldering a little pain.
Leilana grabbed Sien’s hand, pulling her away from her thoughts. “We don’t want to fall too far behind. We don’t want them to get into any trouble with each other.” Her words barely reached Sien, but she allowed herself to be led off nonetheless. Time was of the essence, and if what she spoke was true, then the boys were probably already going through one of their spats.
“What in the world was that about?” Solus exclaimed, closely behind Rem’s paced footsteps, staring at his arched back. “Every time that Amiria makes an appearance, you falter and take her side, knowing that she could turn on you at any given moment! It’s making me question your motivations—Remiel, are you even listening to me?”
Rem put his hands in his pockets, lowering his head. “There’s nothing you can say that I don’t already know. I’m the only one giving her a chance. You don’t even bother trying to know her.”
“I spent some time with her in Kalonia, Remiel, and all that she seemed motivated to do was assist you. Nothing else mattered to her, all the world be damned. I don’t feel that she would assist you if not for your title, and that is dangerous. Not to mention that now she’s part of the Order of Helix. Your sworn enemy.” Solus wasn’t fond of having to beat realism into his ward’s head, but now that the situation had changed, it was necessary. “She could very well ruin your life, and the way that you are now, you don’t seem to mind.”
“And how do you know that?” Rem retorted, shoving Solus, causing him to stumble and fall. It didn’t hurt, per se, but processing it was confusing. “I see it! I’m not blind! I know that things could change now that she’s getting actively involved in my life! Who are you to judge my actions when you’re behaving the same way with Leilana?!”
As he shouted, Leilana and Sien happened to walk up behind them, still discussing their previous encounter with Amiria, Leilana providing as much information as she could about their relationship. At the forceful yell of the girl’s name, Sien rested a hand on the girl’s chest to slightly shove her back, not wanting her to become entangled in their ordeal despite her obvious involvement.
“You know it’s forbidden for you to have a relationship with her as a magicless human, and you still get close to her. What happens if you decide to one day settle down and have a family, huh? You want to end up having a kid like me?�
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“I’ve put some thought into that over the last few months. I’d think to have a kid like you would be an honor,” Solus stated, rising to a stand, dusting off his clothes. “A child born of an Arcana and a normal human that can be taught to control his unknown powers by their own uncle, the Prince of Adrylis, someone that would understand exactly what they’re dealing with, would truly be a blessing.”
Leilana’s face reddened. Solus had already thought that far ahead for their future when she couldn’t think past her pilgrimage and wanting to find her grimoire, to end the war. There were so many things spiraling around her that she couldn’t think straight on one ordeal, and he kept his mind on her.
Rem was tripping over his words, unsure of how to react. His face was flushing, his muscles tightening. He and Solus were close, but to outright say that his future child would deem him an uncle was incomprehensible. He reached up both hands to slap his cheeks and knock himself out of his stupor before stomping a foot forward in a commanding manner, pointing a finger at Solus’s chest.
“Solus Brenner! You can’t go pulling punches like that! You know how weird it makes me feel!”
Solus rested a hand on his hip, chuckling. “Pardon me then, Your Highness. I just don’t take lightly to these subjects.”
Sien wrapped her arms around Leilana, resting her chin on the girl’s shoulder, grinning sheepishly. “He really does care for you, you know. You two have known one another for just over half a year and he’s already talking about a life with you. It’s a little alarming, but Solus has always had his heart in the right place.” Leilana covered her face with both hands, concealing her burning cheeks.
“I mean what I said though, about Amiria,” Solus continued. “Love is a fickle manner, but when you experience it, you must always keep on your toes.”
Rem held up his hands in disbelief, his lips parting. “Whoa, hold on! Who said that I was in love with her?! She’s just misunderstood, and I kind of cling to that nature!” Solus narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to the left. “H-Hear me out here, Amiria and I barely even know each other. There’s no way I’d sit back and let myself fall for the okey-doke-”
“All right, whatever you believe.” Solus gestured towards the trees. “Sien, Leilana. You can come out now. We’re done arguing.” Rem looked past him to glance at the remaining two members of their team, who poked their heads out from behind an oak tree.
“You sure about that?” Sien asked. “Because you were pret-ty loud. We didn’t want to jump into any quarrels knowing that you two were going to start throwing fists.”
“No, we’re fine. We don’t usually fist-fight,” Rem replied.
Solus was gazing up at the sky. The clouds were rolling in, and the scent of rainwater was beginning to wash over the atmosphere. They wouldn’t make it to the next town without the storm catching up, and Leilana couldn’t conjure something to shield them from the rain. Rem’s barriers could hold, but not for an extended period without exhausting him further—there was no telling how close they were to any pit-stops. He looked at the trees, where mid-morning dew was striding off large leaves. They were a formidable size, but not nearly enough to keep them dry.
No more options to mull over.
“We should run for cover,” he settled with. “The rain will be starting any minute.”
“So, then Gale goes ‘Sien, you should try slicing those berries with a needle, it’ll make the juices flow out faster!’ That guy was precocious when we were kids.” Leilana shook her head at the story, grinning. The two girls were bundled up under sheets, their soaked clothes hanging above a thin clothesline, leaving both girls in their bloomers, hiding from the world.
“Gale always did get flustered when you and Rem brought berries to mix up for drinks.”
“Aha!” Sien pointed at her, reaching her index finger so far out that she was touching her nose. “Gale remembers those days of youth, even if he won’t admit to it!”
The group took refuge in an abandoned shed they stumbled upon one hour into the storm, the rain pattering fiercely against the window pane. Rem was leaning against some of the wooden boards holding the shed in place, his arms wrapped around his bare chest to retain some warmth despite the thin blanket covering him. His eyes were closing shut every so often, the lackluster conversation between the girls as they snuggled up together for warmth the furthest thing from his mind. Sleep would be a warranted escape from the shivers coating his back, but he decided to remain awake and wait for Solus, who had taken off to hunt for food.
One hour slipped by, and by then, the girls were fast asleep—he could tell by Sien’s light snoring in the distance and shuffling about the bed, likely her trying to ascertain more warmth by clinging to Leilana. He recalled her doing that over several nights when they were staying at Gale’s cottage to him, and he didn’t fathom why she was so obsessed with extra body heat from another person when there were plenty of blankets to go around.
Another hour drifted away from him, and still no sign of Solus. Rem planted himself in front of the window, watching the rainfall pick up. Thunder was rolling from the heavens, lightning streaking the grey skies. He wondered what time it was, and how long he had been waiting. He wasn’t even hungry anymore, and few places they had bypassed in the forest seemed to have an assortment of food. Berries and fruit were refreshing, but hardly filling, and there were no wheat fields or vegetable farms in sight. Any residences were still too far off, so it was safe to assume that Solus might have gone the rest of the way to whatever town was down the road to ensure that they got something of good quality.
Rem drummed his finger on the windowsill, resting his chin against the pane. The musk-scented rainwater was the only comfort he had left now that everyone had left him to think.
Sleepless nights weren’t unheard of anymore, and recurring flashbacks were far from a thing of the past. Talking about the nightmares plaguing him was more of a hassle than not given that his allies had their own problems to deal with. Burdening them was the last thing that he wanted. This mindset was throwing him back to square one, and it made him feel hypocritical. He sought acceptance and understanding of self, and he couldn’t even take the steps to resolve it.
“Mother, father, I wish that you were here to guide me.”
With a large bag of food draped over his right shoulder and an umbrella crafted of palm leaves with a wooden handle covering his head, Solus crossed the northern border, taking note of the scenic differences between the eastern region and his current surroundings. The mountains were scarce, and there was more open road rather than forests; it made traveling in the rain more difficult without trees to shield him, but at least it would be easier to dodge any lightning strikes that came in his path.
Every direction that he turned, he saw nothing but soaked soil. Not a soul lurked, avoiding the calamity that the weather brought down. Solus didn’t mind being a little wet, but for the sake of the food he had taken the time to gather, he didn’t want to risk it spoiling and decided to invest some funds towards a couple of umbrellas. Sharing wasn’t a bad idea, and maybe being forced under the same protection would bring Sien and Rem back on good terms. They were both spirited in different manners, and their personalities could easily come to clash.
The sight of large oak trees emerged again, which meant that he was back on the right course towards the shed where his friends were recovering. He lowered the umbrella over his right shoulder with the bag and extended his hand out to the rain, allowing the drops to land on his skin. For those few passing seconds, it was as if the world was being cleansed of its sin.
“If only it could be that easy.” He clasped his hand shut. “There is nothing without sin. This world is just too broken to simply erase mistakes.”
“Now, that’s not true.” Solus nearly dropped his umbrella at the sudden voice. Standing in bird’s eye view was a silhouette basked under the grey clouds, the bad weather drenching them to the bone. Solus lowered his umbrella, removing his jac
ket to toss onto the wet dirt, setting the bag atop it, planting the umbrella’s hilt in the ground to keep it upright. He removed his glasses, laying them in front of the bag of food. He brought his index finger to his lips before holding it up towards the gusts flowing from the west. They were lighter than earlier, which meant that the umbrella could hold for some time.
“I was waiting for a chance to catch you alone, Solus Brenner,” the silhouette spoke, stepping forward as lightning cracked across the sky, revealing the face of the person beneath the clouds. Solus’s lips parted, and he was quick to draw his sword.
“No. That’s not possible.” His hands were trembling as he pointed the blade at the figure.
From the shadows came a young girl with blonde hair tied into a shoulder-length braid. Her eyes were a hazy crimson, her skin a sickly jaundice, hints of a green sludge around her forehead as if she hadn’t washed in months. Her movements were staggered, and her mouth was partway open to reveal grimy teeth coated in plaque buildup.
The shifter he had killed in the shrine. Alive and kicking.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he shouted over the pouring rain, his hair slicking against his forehead. “I killed you. I didn’t find a pulse!” He tried to reason every possible excuse in his mind how he could have missed her heartbeat, but even Rem knew that this girl was lifeless by the lack of emotion in her bloodshot eyes, the smashed organs, the tight grip on her neck by his own hands, but there was nothing that he could piece together. “You were dead!”