Potions & Fangs
Vampire Emails #1
Alyssa Rose Ivy
Jennifer Snyder
Copyright © 2018 by Alyssa Rose Ivy and Jennifer Snyder
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Editing by Running Ink Edits
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Note From The Authors
Movie List
Sneak Peak
Bonus Emails
One
Two
Three
Four
More Info On The Half Light Series
Bonus Emails
One
Two
Three
Four
More Info On The Mirror Lake Wolves Series
Don’t Go Yet
Wait There’s More!
Bonus Sample
Preface
One
Two
Bonus Sample
One
About the Author
About the Author
1
August 25
Subject: Remember that time in detention…
Dear Holder,
So it happened. It actually happened. A guy tried to pick me up by using a Breakfast Club line. It wasn’t even an Allison one. It was an Andrew line. I mean, really? I’m sure you already know which one it is, but I’ll tell you anyway. I’m annoying that way, but you already know that. You can’t spend hours working with someone without realizing their faults. But I digress. The guy, I don’t even remember his name so let’s just call him Andrew, said, and I quote, “We’re all bizarre, but some of us are better at hiding it.” Of course he said it as though he’d made it up. And are you ready for the best part? When I told him he should have quoted John instead he gave me a blank stare. The guy didn’t even know the source movie from which he was stealing material. Needless to say, I got away from ‘Andrew’ as fast as I could.
I hope you don’t mind this random email, but you were the one who put it in my yearbook. You didn’t actually write keep in touch, but I read between the lines. If I was wrong about that, just delete this. We can both pretend it never happened even though we know it did. (And yes I realize that line is more appropriate for really awkward hookups, but emails can be awkward too).
This is where I’m probably supposed to ask you about your first few weeks of school, but since I know you aren’t one for small talk I’ll skip to the real questions one should ask a new college freshman. 1) Do you want to kill your roommate yet? If so, have you considered how? 2) Have you perfected a hangover cure? 3) What’s the most appealing option in your dining hall?
Sincerely Yours,
Fern
P.S. Yes, I had to do the whole ‘Sincerely Yours’ thing. How could I end the email without one more reference to everyone’s favorite angsty 80s movie?
P.P.S. Hope you don’t delete this.
2
August 29
Subject: Took you long enough…
Fern,
I gave you my email for a reason. Glad you finally decided to use it.
Okay, yes. That guy’s line was pretty damn corny, but I’m trying to picture how much alcohol was involved here. I mean, what a bizarre line to use. Out of the whole movie, that’s the one he picked? You’re right, he should have gone with a John quote. Maybe you should have schooled him. Sounds like he could use some tips. Have you added him to your list of those who could use some Fern Daniels help? I know you couldn’t have changed so much in the past few weeks that you haven’t created a list with at least one or two poor souls you’d like to better by the end of the semester. You were always good at fixing people.
To answer your questions:
1A: Do I want to kill my roommate yet? This is a loaded question. Depends on where we’re at in the day. The dude hates mornings. I know not many people like mornings, but if they were a physical person he’d literally kill them just to never have to see them again. I learned quickly to reach for my earbuds once my alarm goes off. Music with a beat is the only way to drown out his whining in the morning. I swear he’s like a freaking toddler. How he’s made it in life this far is beyond me.
1B: Have I considered a way to kill him yet? “Death by stereo” sounds good. (I’m sticking with your movie references. It’s been too long since I’ve talked with someone who gets them as well as you always did. Recognize that one?)
2: A hangover cure? Still working on it. My roommate is a firm believer in some spicy red drink that looks like it came from a volcano’s ass. I haven’t attempted it yet because I couldn’t get past the smell. I’ll keep you posted if I ever grow the balls to try it, though.
3: Most appealing option in my dining hall? I’ve got to say the pizza. You know how much I love it so you had to see that one coming. This place has just the right amount of grease to cheese ratio. You’d hate it, but it’s what I’m practically living off of these days. That and cereal. Don’t scold me for it. I’m still searching for a job. The little my parents could spare and what I had saved isn’t stretching as far as I’d thought it would.
What about you? What are your answers? And have you found a job? There are no movie rental places in Savannah that I’ve seen so far. At least not any in the range of how far I’m willing to drive. At this point, I’m thinking I may need to broaden my horizons and give up hope of ever finding a place as cool as Movie Central to work at. Being a grown-up sucks.
Chat soon,
Holder
3
August 30
Subject: Roommates, and ramen, and rushing..oh my!
Dear Holder,
You didn’t delete my email. That in itself made my day. You’re right, Andrew does need my help, but then again so do a lot of people here. I’m not sure if he’s high enough on my list.
Ah, The Lost Boys. I’ll never get tired of watching that movie even if it alwa
ys reminds me of the time I made out with Randy Lewis behind the bleachers. I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that I made out with Randy Lewis, or that we were corny enough to do it behind the bleachers. And why does that movie remind me of that not-so-memorable experience? Because it was Halloween junior year, and he asked me to come over to watch the movie with him afterward. I had originally planned to say yes, but the kiss changed my mind. He moved away a few weeks later, but I refuse to take any blame, even if it probably was my fault. But that’s a story for another day–or another email.
Change the clocks in the room so your roommate gets up two hours earlier than he has to. Ok, don’t. That’s only going to make things worse, but in theory, it might be funny.
I need to admit something to you before I go any further. I preface this by telling you it wasn’t really my choice. It was pretty much a requirement of my mom helping me pay for UGA. I rushed. Meaning the whole Greek thing. The thing I swore I’d never do. Which brings me to my roommate. She hates me. I mean hates me. She wanted to be an Omega more than life itself (or so she claims), but I stole it from her evidently. I tried to explain I only got in because my brother’s girlfriend is the president, but that only made things worse. So did explaining I didn’t want to accept the bid, but I had no choice. I kind of want to quit already, but I also don’t. I think this might finally get my mom off my back. Plus it could be a really good experience for my memoir. I know it’s weird she cares about that so much, but she thinks it will give me opportunities she never had. In other words, she thinks I’ll meet someone who’s not like my dad. My parents’ relationship was so weird. By the way, I met the Andrew fella at a mandatory sorority/fraternity mixer. That probably tells you all you need to know about him.
I guess I never answered the roommate question. I don’t want to kill her, but I’m a bit afraid she wants to kill me. If she does, it will probably be with my pledge pin. I’m not entirely kidding.
As to the other questions–my hangover cure is to pretend to drink more than I really am. That way I don’t actually get drunk and need a cure. See how I did that? Be careful with those red drinks. You wouldn’t want to accidentally drink blood or something (only half-kidding, there are a lot of weirdos out there).
And the food? I admit to eating some pizza myself, but mostly I’ve resorted to making ramen noodles in my tiny microwave. Chicken flavor is my favorite. Sad isn’t it, the lengths we go?
On the job front I’ve found a few babysitting jobs, but that’s it for now. There’s no Movie Central here either. I never thought I’d miss Carverville as much as I do.
See you somewhere over the rainbow,
Fern
4
August 31
Subject: Horrible hygiene, creamy chicken, and figures…
Well, Fern...Sounds like you’re not in Kansas anymore. While you might not believe me, I’m going to say it anyway...
I knew you’d cave.
Your mom was nuts when it came to that sorority stuff. I know I’ve never actually met her since we didn’t hang out much other than while working at Movie Central, but I’ve heard you talk about her enough to know she was riding you pretty damn hard with all that sorority crap. It seemed like overkill. and I wasn’t even present for any of the conversations between the two of you. So if it gets your mom off your back I say you should stay. Besides it sounds like you’ve found a way to use the experience to your advantage anyway.
Now I have to jump back to Randy Lewis. You made out with Randy freaking Lewis? How did I not know this? Wasn’t that the guy who always wore a leather jacket? Even during summer? Something was wrong with him well before you kissed him. I highly doubt him moving away had anything to do with you. Although, I am surprised. I didn't know you were into the whole leather jacket wearing bad boy thing. You have something to tell me? Like maybe how you’re not as innocent as you look?
I’m kidding. Everyone knows you’re a good girl.
Since we’re discussing kisses, nothing could be worse than mine with Beth Ann Brody. I actually cut my tongue on her braces. There was so much blood she started spitting all over the place and gave me the worst go to hell look I’ve ever seen. I still have nightmares about it.
As for changing the time on my roommate's alarm clock, that could actually be pretty damn funny. It’s something I might try at least once. Not only is the guy an avid hater of mornings and a constant complainer, he also has questionable hygiene. Might do him some good to get up earlier. Then maybe he’d take a shower once in awhile. Seriously, the funk coming from him cannot be ignored some days. I’ve had to resort to using air freshener and lighting candles when he’s in the room.
Okay, this is bordering on the longest email I’ve ever sent. I’ll cut it short. Creamy chicken ramen is the best. Not just chicken. Give it a try if you haven’t. Add some cheese, though. Whatever you have. Pretending to drink more than I really am is a good trick I’ll have to keep in mind for next time I’m out. As for red drinks, if it’s blood and it turns me into a vampire I’m pretty sure I’d be fine with that. After all, that would mean college could wait, right? There’s more I’d rather be doing than sitting in class all day studying the great artists of our time from a freaking textbook. At least then I’d be able to travel and soak in some of their paintings in person. I know becoming a vampire doesn’t make a person instantly rich, but a guy can dream, right?
On the job front, I saw a flyer for a company looking for a few more ghost tour guides. I don’t know the city that well, but I’m sure I could figure it out. Could be cool. And don’t worry, I’m smarter than Carol Ann. No TV set is going to get this guy.
Holder
P.S. When did you decide to write a memoir? I thought you wrote poetry.
5
September 1
Subject: Is there still time to get our letters?
Dear Holder,
I like the fall. I know I’m not supposed to because it always means the start of school, but I like fresh starts. Kind of how you have that thing for new pens. You probably didn’t know I noticed the way you always switched to a new pen long before you needed to. It’s a wasteful habit, but I get it. At least, unlike your roommate, you have good habits when it comes to hygiene. I was thinking about you tonight. Well, last night since it’s already two a.m. I met a guy who must use the same shampoo as you or something. He smelled just like you. Yes that’s weird to say, but it brought a smile to my face. I like smiling. I like your smile. I probably should have taken my own advice about pretending to drink more than I did. I’m drunk, but you probably figured that out already.
Long emails are nice. They give you more of an excuse to procrastinate from doing all those things you’re supposed to be doing. For me that’s studying for bio. Remind me why I signed up for that again? Oh wait, I wanted to get my science credits over with.
You don’t want to be a vampire, trust me. You’d forget all about the things you love. You’d probably also forget all about the people in your life too. You’re pretty cool for a human right now. Stay that way. Please? ;)
Ok, back to Randy Lewis. It wasn’t his leather jacket. It was that perpetual brooding look. I couldn’t help myself, I wanted to make him smile. I already told you how much I love smiling. I guess that’s just part of me liking to fix people. I don’t want to fix you, though. You are perfect just the way you are. And you smell perfect. Did I mention I drank a lot tonight?
Potions & Fangs: Vampire Emails #1 Page 1